Chapter 4

A large, happy family sat on a curving couch, the Christmas tree taking up a corner of the living room. Three young girls sat on the floor, tearing at their gifts happily. The older one was a little more careful, but the middle and youngest squealed with glee at the gifts their grandmother had given them.

The parents of the two older ones sat, looking on happily, as was the mother of the youngest; the two women being sisters. Music was playing in the background, and nobody fought.

This was Summer's favorite time of year. Everyone was together and happy, and just enjoyed everyone's company for the sake of family.

- - -

Two weeks after a later Christmas, Summer was ready to leave on the plane for school within a few days. She had taken up her muggle habit of being on the computer while at home, whenever her older sister allowed it.

A young girl with short, spiky auburn hair sat at the computer, her face a little rounder and her body a little leaner than the girl who had just turned 18. Her back was to the door as she sat, typing away to her muggle friends. When she heard a noise from her parents' bedroom, she looked and saw her lean father pushing her sick mother in a wheelchair. Summer's mother had had a slight stroke the night before, so couldn't walk very well. Her father was taking her mother to the hospital to get it checked out.

"We'll be back later," her father said as they went out the door.

"Okay, see you," was Summer's reply.

- - -

The phone rang. Dread filled Summer.

"Summer, come upstairs." It was her father's voice, calling from her grandmother's space upstairs.

Bolting up the stairs, Summer ran into the living room. Her father and grandmother were sitting on the couch, each crying. Summer's green eyes looked from one to the other, knowing she didn't want to hear what had happened.

"Mom died," were the only words to pass through her father's lips, a scant whisper which broke Summer's heart.

She hadn't even said goodbye to the person dearest in her heart.

- - -

Summer was sitting in front of a grocery store, just having gotten off work from her summer muggle job. She had gotten off work at ten pm, and was waiting for her father to pick her up. He was usually late, but this was getting ridiculous. Finally, around 10:45 one of the managers ended up giving her a ride home.

Her father was asleep in bed, most likely sleeping off all the alcohol he had consumed, as he did every night.

- - -

"See! This is why I don't like to tell you things! All you ever do is criticize me! It makes me feel like I'm not good enough!" Summer screamed at her father, the two of them standing in the small kitchen of an apartment that they had been forced to move into, after her mother's death, as well as her grandmother's a year later, four days before Christmas.

Summer stormed out of the kitchen, throwing her report card on the table, and walked into her room, closing the door. This was the first time she had ever said anything to her father about how he made her feel. She had been showing him her grades, which apparently weren't good enough for him, even though in muggle terms it would have been a 3.3 GPA.

- - -

"I love you," Summer whispered into the ears of her best friend – the only man she had ever loved. He was holding her close, crying on her shoulder. His own mother had just passed away, and she couldn't bear to see him go through the pain she knew too well.

"I love you, too," he replied. But Summer knew he only meant it as friends.

A few months later he specifically told her as such, breaking her heart more than it had already been broken.

- - -

A figure bolted upright in her bed, a cold sweat hanging on her forehead. She pushed her hair out of her face, a few tears forcing their way out of her eyes, despite how hard she tried to keep them away. She shook her head and lay back down to attempt to go to sleep.

Damn dreams and damn Snape for giving them to me, Summer thought to herself as she drifted back into a fitful sleep, this time not remembering the memories that filled her sleep.

- - -

Summer finally awoke again at dawn, the golden dew seeping through the crystal window, filling the already yellow room with light. Her eyes were bleary, and as she tried to sit up, a headache finally made its presence known. Confused for a moment, Summer bit through the pain and sat up, rubbing her eyes. Then it all flooded back to her – the dreams of the night before which had caused her to cry; which was why she had a headache.

And it was all Snape's fault. She had intended to escape from it all and wanted to forget that it had been Christmas, a time she had once loved more than anything in the world. And now it was the time of year she hated the most, because her father was never around, and the rest of her family had drifted away after her grandmother's death.

She bit back the nausea that was seeping its way into her stomach. It always happened when she got upset. Summer took a deep breath and shook her head, the red waves blurring her vision for a moment. When she finally got up, she almost welcomed the chill of the stones on the floor.

After having gotten dressed, she walked out of the dormitories and into the hallways. It was calm. Everyone was still asleep, most likely from all of the parties that had been occurring the night before. Summer still couldn't understand why the other students loved drinking so much butterbeer as to get drunk.

She made her way to the Great Hall and sat down heavily to the small breakfast which had been set up for early risers such as herself. As she cut out a slice of grapefruit, she noticed a few figures entering – all of them teachers. The last one to enter was Snape.

Seeing his dark figure, Summer couldn't help but start to feel overwhelmed again. While he had brought back all of the memories she so desired to keep hidden, he had been the only one to show her kindness. The small gesture of giving her a book had been more than she could have handled. Perhaps he didn't know it, but it was a thoughtful gift at that; one which she hadn't expected coming from anyone, especially him.

Her eyes were trained to the plate in front of her, her thoughts slowly wending their way through the holidays, and all the time she had spent in his presence. He was the only one she felt comfortable around, and the only one who seemed to accept her humor as it was. She recalled the morning they had coffee together, and couldn't help but smile weakly at the looks he had given her when she asked to join him. It had been one of surprise, and not of contempt. It was almost as if he accepted her presence for what it was, and didn't question it.

Her heart sank again as she realized that these thoughts were futile. He was a teacher, and nothing more. Nothing more could come of it. Although she desperately was starting to wish otherwise. His sarcastic remarks were never completely derogatory when directed towards her – quite the opposite, in Summer's opinion. It almost appeared as though he was attempting to be humorous. And this merely made Summer's heart sink even further. His personality was one which she could see herself being constantly around, despite what other people thought of him. It didn't matter anymore, to her, what others thought.

Throughout her thought processes, she had been slowly eating a light breakfast, and she finally finished. She quickly looked up to the head table and saw Snape looking at her. Looking down to the floor, blushing slightly at her ridiculous thoughts, Summer got up and walked out of the Great Hall.

Her feet started to carry her to their favorite spot when she needed to clear her mind. The astronomy tower. The air was chilly, especially because it was only an hour or two after dawn, but Summer let it wash her worries away. It was almost a form of meditation for her, and she merely let her gaze wander from the Forbidden Forest to the lake, and from there to the Quidditch Pitch. As much as she usually disliked the Cold, she couldn't help but revel in the beauty that was winter. Since it was a clear day out, the slanting sunlight cast beautiful shadows over the sparkling white snow, with the occasional black figure flying from one tree to another. The peace managed to clear her mind somewhat. That is, until the main part of her thoughts disrupted her.

"I trust that the late night parties have not given you an ungodly hangover," Snape drawled as he finished walking up the stairs. Summer's brow furrowed at his statement, unsure whether it was supposed to be sarcastic or caring.

"Did we not have this discussion last night, Professor Snape? That would actually require friends," she retorted back. He was about to push her to the limits of niceties, and he didn't want to see her when she was angry. Her father had only seen the tip of the iceberg last Christmas.

"Ah, yes. I suppose we did have that… discussion. I would more so call it a soliloquy of sorts. One which I did not need to hear, might I add," he responded scathingly. Unless she was greatly mistaken, Summer couldn't help but hear the bitterness in his voice through the elaboration of the night before.

She took a deep breath, trying her hardest not to lose control again. Her pride almost always got the best of her, and she didn't want anyone, especially him, see her break down – again.

"Had you not raised the question, I would have been perfectly happy to continue brewing potions. So do not try to blame yesterday's disruption on me," she snorted quietly. Her arms were crossed over her stomach, trying to calm the pain which was slowly starting to fill it. Summer turned her back to him, in attempts to show that she didn't want to speak of it.

"Pardon my astute memory, but it was you who originally came to me. So were it not for the fact that you had asked for chores in the first place, said conversation would not have taken place at all. So I feel it is quite correct to blame you for yesterday's disruption, as you called it."

Summer whirled around and looked back at him, her eyes brimming with tears. Her cheeks were flushed, making her look slightly ill since her skin was normally very pale. Clenching her fists at her side, Summer couldn't help but simply stare at Snape. His usual black robes were swirling slightly in the cold breeze and his arms were crossed over his chest. No expression could be read on his face. It almost looks like he's enjoying himself. The sadist, Summer thought. Just when I thought that maybe he cared a little. He couldn't care less.

Her lower lip turned red as she bit it, running past him and down the astronomy tower stairs. It didn't matter anymore who saw her crying as she ran through the corridors. She didn't even know where she was going, since her normal relaxation area was occupied by the man who was causing her all this pain.

She ended up outside again, this time near the lake. She sat down on a rock amidst a copse of trees, looking down at the ice which would melt come spring.

No one cared. She didn't have any friends. Her family was nonexistent. The one person she had started to care for virtually rejected her. She had been trying for almost four months to regain what little she had had back home in America. But it was all for naught.

She laughed bitterly to herself, the wind carrying the sound. Who would know what happened to her? The headmaster would. And perhaps he would be the only one to show remorse. But it didn't matter! Everything she had been trying for in the past few years didn't amount to anything. What were accomplishments and good grades if there wasn't anyone to share them with? What use was it to try anymore?

Crying to herself and looking up at the brightening sky, Summer made her decision. Snape had been allowing her to use a battered old textbook that was out-of-date. It had some rather interesting propositions in it.

- - -

Damn damn damn, Snape thought to himself as he gritted his teeth, stalking through the hallways. Students fled from his presence, and a first year even cowered behind a statue. Although this made him feel slightly more composed, it didn't help the fact that he was responsible for whatever had made Summer flee from him. It wasn't like he had said anything out of the ordinary, was it? He ground his teeth and gripped his wand tightly, knuckles turning white.

Where the hell could she have gone? Think, Severus. She really is more like you than you want to believe. Where would you go if you were upset? Then it finally hit him. Outside.

Snape briskly walked to the entrance of the castle and out of the oak doors. He trudged through the snow, thinking of possible hiding places that were within school limits. Having known her for even such a short amount of time, he knew that she wouldn't break the school rules. She was always being so damn nice and righteous. He snorted at the thought of being nice, but shook his head. He had thought that any human companionship, aside from Dumbledore's insertions, was beyond hope. Oddly enough, the cheery Hufflepuff had been able to insinuate her way into his life. And he had let it happen.

Just as his thoughts were turning warm, his legs were turning cold due to melting snow creeping up his pants. Disgusted, Snape looked down and cast a drying charm. When he looked back up, he saw a glint of golden-red from between some trees. It was the exact hue of Summer's hair.

Not quite sure why, Snape started to run over to where he had seen the glint. The cold started to reach him through the heavy robes, but he kept running until he was able to see through the trees. He watched as Summer stood up from the rock she had been sitting on, her face wet with tears and even more flushed than it had been when she ran from him on the astronomy tower.

He stood watching, while trying not to pant so loudly as to attract her attention. The last thing he needed was for her to know that he was worried about her. So he bent over slightly, regaining his breath. When he tore his eyes away from her lithe form, he finally heard her say something.

"Sectumsempra!" she quietly breathed. Snape's dark eyes immediately shot up, only to see her wand pointed at herself. The snow surrounding her turned crimson as the wounds on her body bled. As soon as she had spoken, she fell to the ground limply.

Oh no, were the first thoughts to race through Snape's mind.

- - -

Author's Note: Yay! I finally finished it. Sorry for taking so long. I think I needed a slight hiatus after writing so much within such a short period of time. Anyway, onto the chapter…

I do apologize that it's so dramatic (but hey! The story is listed under 'drama' anyway :P ), but it's all for development of the plot (what plot? Haha). Anyway. I didn't just come up with all of this on my own, as the dream sequences are all my experiences, which is why I tried to make them as realistic as possible. I hope they fit well into the story (I think they do). So yes. Thanks for reading. As always, reviews are quite welcome :)