Chapter 8

A glazed look was plastered on Summer's face the entire day. Her housemates looked at her questioningly, but she merely ignored them as usual. It was the first time in years that she could remember being truly happy. Snape had done everything to make the night before perfect. He took things slow, listened to her, felt her reactions, did everything for her. No one else had done something purely for her. She felt light-headed and could hardly concentrate on her work in class. Once she passed Snape in the hallway, and Summer tried not to beam. She merely smiled softly and nodded. He lightly nodded back.

That night when she went down to his quarters, he wasn't there. Looking at her watch, Summer started feeling apprehensive. It was seven. Snape was never late for an appointment. Especially with her. He would have told her. Something was wrong.

She knocked on the wooden door again. No response. A slight frown forming, she undid the wards and slowly opened the door. Everything appeared normal. She entered the study and closed the door behind her. Snape was definitely not here. The only indication that he had been within his chambers recently was the fire burning brightly in the hearth.

The flames turned a distinct green hue. Sputtering, a head emerged from within them. Bright blue eyes twinkled up at Summer, and she couldn't help but smile as Dumbledore's hair and beard swirled within the flames.

"Ah! Summer! Good evening! I hope I'm not intruding on anything, am I?" he lightly asked. She shook her head in negation. "Good good. I was hoping to speak with Severus – is he there with you?"

"I just got here myself, sir. I haven't seen him." She frowned and looked away from the fire, towards the lab. "Frankly, I'm slightly worried. He was supposed to be here at 7."

Dumbledore frowned for but a moment before covering it up with his usual happy disposition. "Well, I'm sure he would want you to finish whatever it is you were working on. You know how Severus gets when a student doesn't do their work." His eyes were twinkling. "I'll see if I can find him elsewhere. Perhaps he's gone off to stalk Minerva..." His face fell with realization. "Oh, dear. Yes. That must be it."

Summer started to stammer out a question, but Dumbledore quickly vanished with a swift "goodbye". She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned down at the fire. Sometimes she wondered if the man was sane enough to take care of a ferret, let alone an entire school. Sighing, she went into the lab and stirred the potion which had been simmering all day.

- - -

"If you do not take that back this instant, Minerva, I swear I will hex you into oblivion."

Snape stood in the teacher's lounge, Professor McGonagall up against a wall with a broad smile on her face, despite Snape's wand held at her throat. She was almost laughing.

"Severus, you know it's not possible to keep a secret within Hogwarts. Even your students have been starting to comment on your behavior," she calmly explained.

Snape's cheek ticked in anger. He had just slept with a student. And she was laughing about it? And she had known about their blooming relationship? Bloody hell! His life was a mess. The last thing he needed was…

"There you are, Severus! I was looking for you in your quarters, when Miss Sundale informed me of your absence. I thought I should check on Minerva." Dumbledore had just walked in and was smirking. Both Snape and McGonagall shot him glares. "You know, Minerva, you could have been a little more subtle in your hinting during supper. And Severus, despite your best intentions, even you cannot hide the healthy glow of love." Dumbledore chuckled to himself as Snape slowly lowered his wand.

"God damnit, I'm leaving. I quit! Find another potions master!" Snape spat as he headed towards the doorway. He could hardly deal with Summer's incessant teasing – he wasn't about to let his colleagues do the same. Stalking out the door, he heard Minerva say something to Albus. They both laughed softly. It took all of his strength to not go back in there and hex them both.

How dare they? Since when did they actually care about his relationships? It was none of their damn business! Above anything else, Snape was still appalled that they were happy for him. He was in love with one of his students, and they were happy. The thought gnawed on his brain until he realized something Dumbledore had said. Summer was in his quarters.

Bloody hell. Just throw another wrench into this equation, why don't you! he thought to himself. Growling as he walked, he made his way down into the dungeons. His footsteps echoed loudly off the stone walls, and he did nothing to hide the fact that he was mad. No, not mad. Angry. Angrier than he could remember being.

The door barged open and Snape could see her red hair immediately. She walked out into the study, smiling. She was wearing a white apron which was already stained with potions ingredients. A dark smudge overruled her left cheek. Despite the mess, she still looked beautiful.

"There you are! I was wondering where you were. Dumbledore popped in through the floo, looking for you, then ran off mentioning something about you stalking Professor McGonagall. I do hope everything went well?" she asked. Her sickeningly sweet smile was plastered on her face as she tilted her head.

"Get out." That's all he was able to muster within his rage – lest he hurt the girl more.

"I'm sorry?" she stammered, looking confused. She had stepped closer. No. She shouldn't do that. She never should have been anywhere near him. He was losing it.

"Get. Out," he growled at her lowly. Apparently sensing his wrath, Summer took a step back before setting her lips in a thin line. She nodded, took off the apron, and walked to the door. With one final glance from her dark green eyes, she left him.

Finally. Snape was able to let out all the rage, all the pain, all the longing, all the loneliness, all the warmth… all the hope…

He cast a silencing charm on his chambers before he started throwing anything within sight. The coffee table shattered into splinters, as did the two desk chairs. Cups were thrown, mixing amongst the crystal vials he had shattered. Dust clouded the air as he started throwing books from the cases, not caring what happened to their contents. He picked one up and was about to throw it, but his throat became clogged with debris. Taking a moment to cough, Snape held onto the book rather than throwing it.

He opened his eyes, and looked at the book within his long, slender hands. It was the journal. The one Summer had given him for Christmas. The only thought-out gift he had been given. Even Albus had failed to ever give him something truly meaningful. And yet this… this… girl had been able to figure him out well enough in less than four months.

Snape didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve the gentle smiles she gave him, the warm laughter that filled him, the soft kisses which made him melt, the love which poured out of her eyes…

She wouldn't be at Hogwarts anymore, come June. She would just leave him. And he had allowed her to wind her way into his soul. Past every possible barrier known to mankind. Past his cruel façade, past his sneering sarcasm, past his horrendous appearance, past his every attempt to keep her far away.

She's so much like you, and in every possible way different, a voice inside his head said.

Then she should realize that she should go! he screamed back.

She's just as scared as you, it reprimanded him. Had it been a real person, Snape would have given him a death glare.

"I'm not scared," he whispered to himself, all the while knowing it was true. She had changed him. Change scared him. Minerva had shown him that at dinner. She had merely asked how Summer's extracurricular potions were going, but there was that damn scheming twitch to her face – she knew. He didn't want to change. Snape enjoyed being the greasy dungeon bat. The horrible git that no one loved. The monster that everyone stayed away from.

It was all Summer's fault. He would never let anyone get close to him again.

With sudden resolve, he threw the journal down amongst all the other broken pieces of his soul.

- - -

Summer walked slowly around the building. It wasn't curfew, yet. She was allowed to be out. She wouldn't have cared anyway. Her feet dragged her up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower, her favorite lookout.

The air was chilly. No, it was cold. A biting wind howled mercilessly around the tower, despite the clear sky. The stars shone brightly, reminding her of nights she used to spend outside with her father, looking through a muggle telescope. She smiled softly at the memory – before she knew magic existed, before she knew how terrible her father could be, before she knew pain and death. Sometimes, Summer just wanted to be a child again. Like right now.

She shuddered. His anger had cut through her. She knew he had kept as much in as he could, at least until she left. But he was mad. Summer never wanted to see him hurt. Looking up to the stars, Summer pleaded for there to be a way for her to help him. But he had told her to get out. She wouldn't be able to go near him for a while.

Tears rolled down her face. He was the one happiness she'd had. The one thing she was able to cling to during the storm that was her life. Now she was starting to get lost among the crashing waves again, with no ship to save her, keep her afloat.

Was it so selfish to want a single person to love her? A single person who couldn't live without her? She couldn't remember ever having someone love her and care for her as much as Snape had the past few weeks. Well, aside from her mother, who had passed away four years earlier. Her father virtually orphaned her with his drinking, and when her sister left, Summer was left alone. So to have found such happiness, such hope that life didn't have to be like that…

Summer pounded a fist down on the stone. She was foolish to think that things could ever change. A moment of fleeting happiness had wound its way around her heart, and she didn't realize it for just that – fleeting. Berating herself, Summer realized that she shouldn't have expected anything more. Snape obviously wasn't. He was a man ten years her senior. Things didn't mean as much to him.

Of course he was going to take advantage of a young woman seducing him. Why wouldn't he? She was just a passing fling for him; nothing more, nothing less.

Summer turned to head back inside for a steaming hot bath. She had had enough of her vile thoughts. The cold was finally starting to get to her, although she doubted the cold within her soul would be leaving anytime soon. A bath always made her feel minutely better.

Wiping the remains of the tears, she looked up. There was Albus Dumbledore, a sad smile playing on his face. She shook her head at him and went to walk past him. As she was walking down the stairs, he followed her. And continued doing so for ten minutes.

At last Summer turned around to stare at the headmaster. He was looking at the ceiling, attempting to look as though he hadn't been doing anything conspicuous.

"Professor Dumbledore, is there something you wanted from me, or can I go sulk in peace?" she demanded of him. She had placed both hands on her hips. Her cheeks were trying to give her hair a run for its money, so flushed were they.

He completely ignored her question, but rather made an inane comment. "Sometimes all a cocoon needs is time." His light blue gaze finally came to rest on her, twinkling all the while. "Change isn't always easy, especially for caterpillars who never dreamed of becoming butterflies."

Summer continued to stare. Her mouth was hanging open at the headmaster's metaphor. All he did was smile at her and then walked away, leaving her agape.

For once, Summer agreed with Snape. Dumbledore was a rugged old man who knew too much.

- - -

Author's Note: Wow. Or, as I've come to say lately, HOLY POTATOES! Yeah. Um, yeah. It's been two months since I've updated this story at all. I'm sorry::hides from debris being thrown:: My legitimate excuse is that my laptop died, and I was forced to take a 5 minute walk to the library merely to check my email, let alone try and update.

Anyway! I know this chapter is short, and I apologize, especially since it's been over 2 months since I posted. After not thinking about the story, I sort of lost my train of thought, and now I'm trying to come up with a "plot". Any ideas would most certainly be welcome!

And now that I'm done with that rather long AN, I shall let you return to other FF readings. Please review. I'll give you a cookie! With hot cocoa ;)