(A/N: okay, so this is short, but it's really important. If you like this chapter (even though it may be painful) you will really enjoy the next (even though it might be painful too) so read and please, please, please review!!)
I froze in my seat. I could almost feel the panic rush through me. This was bad. This was really bad.
I couldn't move. I knew that Edward was waiting for me. He probably wanted to apologize, but he would forget all about the apologies as soon as he saw me in Jacobs clothes; as soon as he smelled that Jacob had been all over me.
I began to zone out; everything around me became a blur. I began visualizing in my head different scenarios that might happen. None of them were good.
I'm not exactly sure how long I sat there with terrifying delusions running through my head. In the back of my mind, I was very thankful that Edward couldn't read my thoughts.
Crap. He couldn't read my thoughtsbut he could read Jacobs. And if Jacob was thinking about what had happened earlier, the cat was already out of the bag.
I snapped out of my hallucinations when Jacobs growling got louder. I lifted my head and saw Edward walking towards us. Just act innocent. I thought. Maybe he won't notice. I knew that the chance of Edward not noticing was about as good as the chance of Edward and Jacob being friends, but a girl can dream, right?
Before Edward had made the complete distance to the car, I looked over at Jacob. I pleaded with my eyes that he wouldn't say – or think – anything about what had happened between us. He seemed hurt at the reminder that we couldn't be together, but he nodded his head slowly.
By the time Edward had reached the car he was soaked from head to toe. He came over to the passengers' side and lightly tapped on the window, his expression apologetic. As I rolled down the window, I heard Jacobs snarling grow louder. Edward pretended that he didn't hear him.
"Bella, I'm really sorry about earlier. Can we –" He stopped apologizing and he suddenly looked livid. His eyes went from topaz, to onyx, and then they went flat black. Oh, no. I thought. Oh, no, no, no, no!
"What the hell are you doing in his clothes?" He shouted at me. I had never seen him this heated before. I didn't even know he could get this mad.
I was so shocked at his outrage that I was speechless for a moment. Just act innocent, I reminded myself. "Edward it isn't what you think." My voice came out as a choked whisper, which thankfully made my lie sound more convincing.
"Oh really? Then go ahead and explain." It was more of a command than a suggestion.
I decided that another lie wouldn't pass so easily, so I chose to tell the truth about this. "I went to Jacob's house right after I left yours. The scent was making him… uncomfortable, so I took a shower and changed. I had left my clothes on the porch for Jake, and when I went to get them they were soaked."
Edward still looked wound up, but his eyes were slowly fading back to onyx. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have trusted you."
I had never felt so guilty in my life. If you added the guilt I felt after leaving Charlie worried sick to go to Italy, with the guilt I felt for breaking my promise to Charlie about never riding a motorcycle, it would equal about half the guilt I felt right now. Before the guilt became shown on my features – which would only make Edward more suspicious – I pulled myself together a little. "It's okay Edward."
"You deserve so much better than an untrusting –"
"Damn right she does." Jacob – who until now had been silent – cut him off.
"Why don't you shut it mutt?" Edward said coldly through clenched teeth.
It seemed like Jacob didn't respond, but all of a sudden Edwards eyes were black again. Jacob must have thought something pretty bad…
"Bella, can we go inside? Your stupid dog friend is annoying me."
I gave both Edward and Jacob a look so fierce that they both looked scared. "Jacob isn't a 'mutt' or a 'stupid dog." I shouted facing a shocked Edward. I heard Jacob snicker from behind me, and turned to face him. "And Edward isn't a 'leech' or a blood-sucker." I hollered at Jacob. I took a second to try and calm myself. "And damn it, if I hear either one of you call each other those names again…" It wasn't like me to scream or shout, but I was under a lot of stress, I guess I just snapped.
An astonished Jacob and Edward muttered "Sorry." in unison. I knew they were apologizing to me, rather than each other, but I suppose that it was the best I was going to get.
A short silence enveloped us, none of us quite sure what to say.
"Bella, would you mind if we went inside now? I'm getting soaked." I looked up at Edward who was now dripping.
"Yeah, sorry." He opened the door for me and I stepped out into the rain. "Bye Jacob." I said while bending down to make my head at the level of the still-rolled-down window.
"Bye Bella." He said grimly. I never failed to absolutely ruin Jacobs day.
Edward waited until Jacob had driven away to pick me up and run into the warmth of my house. I was nervous when he held me so close, that he might smell Jacob on me. Then I remembered how I was wearing Jacob's clothes, which was a good excuse to explain why I smelled like him. Maybe I would get away with this after all.
"Was that really necessary?" I asked as he set me down. "I'm pretty sure I'm capable of walking." I was slightly agitated.
"I don't want you to catch a cold." He said in a loving tone. How can I be annoyed with him when he speaks so sweetly? That's right, I can't.
I looked up at him and saw his nose wrinkled in the same manner that Jacobs had been. I sighed heavily. "I'll go change." I muttered heading up the stairs.
"I'll wait down here Isabella," he cooed teasingly.
"Okay Eddie-poo." I called in a fake mushy voice. I looked back at him to see his lips pressed in a hard line, and his eyes narrowed towards me. I was going to pay for that one.
I managed to walk up the stair without tripping – only a stumble or two. I changed into a t-shirt and threw a sweater over that. I pulled off Jacobs much-too-big-for-me sweat pants, and put on a pair of my own. I brushed my hair hurriedly, in hopes to replace the smell of Jacob with the scent of the strawberry shampoo that had probably been deposited in the bristles from when I brushed my hair after a shower.
When I opened the door, Edward was standing there, his eyes a smoldering gold. I looked up at him, and jumped back a little – I hadn't been expecting anyone to be standing there when I opened the door. He smiled his crooked smile, and when I stood there, mesmerized, he chuckled. I couldn't be sure if he was chuckling because he found it funny that I had been so startled, or because I had just stared at him, open mouthed, for almost a full minute. Whichever it was, I flushed in embarrassment.
"I missed you." he explained, while picking me up in his arms. I prepared myself, knowing that he was about to fly down the stairs, and I was going to be sick if I didn't close my eyes. But he didn't run. He walked down the stairs smoothly, and we held each others gazes the entire time.
I pressed my head against his chest and listened to his even breathing. His head was in my hair, and I was thankful that I had put in the effort to brush it. "Mmhhh," I heard sigh in pleasure while taking in the scent of my hair.
He headed into the living room and placed me lying on my back on the only couch. I went to sit up, but his cool hands grasped my shoulders and gently forced me back down. "What-" I began to ask.
"Shhh." He hushed quietly, his topaz eyes dancing and his musical voice light. He pressed me down onto the couch and gently laid on top of me. I had a brief flashback of Jacob, but pushed it out of my mind… I had better things to think about at the moment.
Edward leaned in, and he gently traced my jaw line with his nose and brushed his lips against my cheek. I wasn't thinking at the time. His sudden intimacy had left me incoherent, and that was bad. I was so stupid. I should tell Edward no, I shouldn't let him kiss me. I may have had a reason for wearing Jacobs clothes, which was a perfect explanation for why I smelled like him, but why would I taste like him? If I let Edward kiss me, I would be caught. But, like I said, I wasn't thinking clearly, and I let him kiss me. And as soon as the kiss started, it ended. Less than second after Edward pressed his lips against mine he was jumping off of me a growling so loud it hurt my ears. He drew his fist back to punch the wall, but stopped himself, and instead turned his fury to me.
"What the hell Bella!" he screamed. I winced, this was the first time I had been afraid of Edward. I was terrified, and could not speak.
"Dammit Bella, what's your explanation for this?! HUH? Did you trip and his lips broke your fall!?" I cringed again, and I waited for the tears to come. They evaded me however, they were probably scared away.
"I-I…" I stammered helplessly.
"You what!" he shouted.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered, the tears now running down my face.
"You're sorry? You cheated on me Bella and all you have to say is you're sorry?!"
"I love you. It didn't… it didn't mean anything Edward. I was just upset. I'm so sorry. Please…" I whispered in muffled breaths from crying.
Edwards anger faded, and now utter sadness and pain were clear on his face. It hurt me that I had hurt him so bad. His eyes were a flaming onyx, that smoldered in a somber way. He fell to the ground and rolled into a ball on the floor. I could here his tearless sobs, which only made me cry harder. I got up from the couch and walked over to Edward and knelt beside him. "Why?" I heard him whisper.
"Because I love you." I knew it sounded completely stupid and unbelievable, but it was the truth. "I cheated on you because I love you. I love you so much, and I didn't think you loved me. I thought that if you loved me you would've changed me by now, so we could spend an eternity together. I felt like my love was unrequited, and it hurt. I let the hurt control me, and that's why I cheated on you. But, Edward, you are the only one I love. I promise you it meant nothing, and if you'll forgive me, I'll never cheat on you again. I'll do anything…"
He didn't answer my explanation. I was about to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shot up from the ground. All the rage reappeared, and his hands were balled into fists. "Don't. Touch. Me." He said each word separately, with a hateful tone, but he did not shout.
"Please Edward…" I was still kneeling on ground, staring at the floor, too ashamed to look at his beautiful and pained face.
Neither of us spoke, at a loss of words, but then Edward regained composure, to my dismay. "When I came back, I told you I wouldn't leave – unless you wanted me to." He paused, and in the momentary silence I was trying to figure out the meaning of his words. "I'll take this as your request. I'm leaving."
(A/N: yeah, I know, really sad… but I promise the next chapter is going to be really good (but, no promises on whether it's sad or not). So if you want the next chapter to come faster REVIEW!!)