(A/N: okay, so here is the next chapter… brace yourself for sadness)
"No! Edward! I'm so sorry." I cried after him. But it was pointless, because he had already run out of the house, leaving me in pieces. Though, I couldn't blame him. This was all my fault.
I had taken Edward's place on the floor, curled up into a ball. I was now crying out to Edward, hoping that he would hear me and come back – that he could find some way to forgive me.
I was a sobbing mess, but I didn't care. I didn't care if I ever got up from this place on the floor again if I couldn't be with Edward.
What was I thinking? Why did I cheat on him, why? Damn it Bella, you just screwed up the best thing that has ever happened to you. And that's when it hit me. I was losing the best thing that had ever happened to me and I wasn't doing anything to stop it. Pick yourself up I ordered myself. I stood up and fought away the tears. I slipped on my shoes and a jacket, and grabbed the keys to my truck. There was no way in hell I was giving up Edward without a fight.
I knew it was stupid of me to drive in the state I was in – it was completely reckless – but what other option did I have? None. There wasn't any other option. I had to get Edward back no matter how reckless it was.
I drove as fast as my senior car would allow. I was actually probably pushing it a little too far – the engine was groaning in protest to my speed. But I ignored the deafening sounds my car made, and focused on how I was going to get Edward back.
It was going to be hard. Edward was stubborn, and what I had done was unforgivable.
When I reached the woods and the unpaved road that lead to the Cullen's house, I still hadn't come up with a solution. I guess I would have to hope that it would turn out for the best.
I reached the house and parked the car. I sat there for a moment and wiped away all evidence of the tears I had cried. I took a few seconds to pull myself together and then stepped out of my truck.
I closed the door behind me and the turned to see Rosalie staring at me with more hatred than ever. I was actually scared of her.
"Leave, you bitch." She said venomously. And as much as I hated her – and wanted to kill her for saying that to me – I deserved it.
"I-I, I just want to talk to Edward." I whispered. She was in my face in less time than humanly possible.
"I really don't think he wants to talk to you, you little –" I knew where she was going, but she was interrupted by Alice.
"Rosalie back off." Alice warned. Alice had always been a great friend. I was glad to know that she didn't seem to hate me because of the current situation.
Alice came up to me and gave me a giant bear hug. She noticed me gasping for breath and let me go. "So-" she began to apologize.
"No, thanks, for Rose." She didn't respond, instead she grabbed my hand and began to lead me to the house. My stomach was turning with the nervousness and guilt I felt. We walked up the stairs and I stopped at the doorway reluctantly.
"It's okay." She said in a reassuring tone. I took in a deep breath and Alice opened the door. I stepped in. The entire family was bustling around the house – packing. I stared in horror, was I already too late?
Everyone stopped packing when they became aware of my presence. They all gathered in the living room, and Alice forced me to join them. Everyone was there except for Edward.
Rose was still glaring at me with hatred. Emmett had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, and he looked the complete opposite of his usual cheerful state. Jasper and Esme looked disappointed. I can't really explain what Carlisle looked like. He seemed to have all of his families emotions – anger, sadness and disappointment.
My knees began to feel weak from the shame I felt, so Alice guided me to the only open seat. When I was seated, there was an unnerving silence that no one seemed to know how to end. I decided that this was entirely my fault, and it was entirely my responsibility to fix it. "Where's Edward?" I whispered, not able to find my voice.
"What's it to you?" Rosalie hissed.
"Rosalie, we'll have none of that." Carlisle said in a demanding tone. I hadn't heard his voice this thick with authority since the incident with James. "Edward isn't here."
"Where is he?" I asked. I had already assumed he wasn't home, so when I had asked where he was, I had meant more specifically.
"We don't know. He came here, and told us what you did. He told us he was leaving with or without us and then left." Esme explained.
I doubled over in pain. The whole in my chest that had been closed for so long ripped open. I clutched my chest trying to fight the pain. "Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked worriedly. I forced myself to sit up and tried to erase the agony from my face. It was senseless however, because Jasper was still in a crumpled ball of pain.
"Make – it –stop" he whimpered. I focused on pushing the pain away for Jasper's sake. He finally sat up, the pain slowly fading from his features.
"Sorry." I muttered, ashamed. All I can seem to do is hurt this family.
The other members of the family looked confused, but I didn't want to tell them about the hole. I hadn't even wanted to tell Edward about the hole, I just hoped Jasper wouldn't tell.
"Can we speak to Bella in private?" Carlisle asked. It was more of a command than a question. Everyone filtered out of the room with the exception of Carlisle, Esme, and myself. I didn't see the relevance – the entire family could hear our conversation. Then I thought back to how Rosalie had interrupted and figured that was probably the reason why.
"Bella, Edward wishes to leave –" Carlisle began.
"No." Was all I responded with – but I said it with finality and determination. I hoped it would be enough.
"Bella, Edwards already made his decision. And so have we." Esme spoke this time.
"No." I said again, but my voice was weaker. I could feel the defeat beginning to take its place.
"We will be leaving tomorrow." Carlisle spoke with the finality that I had lost.
I started crying. Not hysterically, but I cried. Carlisle and Esme left, and Alice came in. Alice held me in her arms and rocked me back in forth. "It's going to be okay." she cooed. I saw Jasper leave out of the corner of my eye, overwhelmed by my emotions again.
I eventually stopped my crying, not because I wanted to, but because the tears stopped coming from my eyes. I had cried myself dry.
When Alice was sure that I was done crying, she made me sit up. "I, I can't live without you guys. You know what happened last time."
"Bella, I'm still going to come and visit. It won't be like last time." She promised me, but I didn't get any resolution from her words. She said that she would visit, but what about the rest of her family. Would Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme visit me? (Rosalie I could do without). And even if they did, I knew the one person that I really did want to visit me would not.
We were silent again. Alice stood up and I saw her dig in her pocket for something. She pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "Edward asked me to give this to you." She handed me the piece of paper and I took it with shaky hands. It was a letter from Edward, written in his beautiful script.
Dear Bella,
I think that it's best for the both of us that I move. Perhaps no more heart will break – beating or not. I think I understand why you did what you did; but whether there is a valid reason or not, I'm not sure I can bring myself to forgive you. No matter what has happened, or what will happen, I will always love you my dear. Please stay safe, for me.
Love you always and forever,
Edward.
I read the note three or four times before I stood up and walked out of the house. I was about to break down – again – and was tired of crying in front of the people who were leaving me.
So this is it. I thought to myself when I had made my way into my truck. I hadn't pulled away yet, because I knew that it might be the last time I saw the beautiful house with the people I loved inhabiting it.
I put my head on the driving wheel and my tears returned. I cried silently. I jumped in my seat when a cool hand wiped a tear from my face. "Don't cry Bella."
I looked over and saw Edward sitting in the seat behind me. This was my only chance to get him back, and I would do whatever it takes.
"Don't go! Please, don't go." I begged.
"My decision is made, but I meant everything I said on that letter. I love you." He leaned in and kissed me. And then he left in a quick blur.
I sat in my seat, not having moved an inch from the position I had been in when he had kissed me. The numbness had begun to creep up on me, and I welcomed it. "Bella." I finally moved from my position to see who had just approached me. It was Carlisle. "Bella, I think you should go home before your father worries."
I put the keys into the ignition and pulled away without saying a word. I arrived at my house and saw – to my relief – that Charlie wasn't home yet. I knew that he would recognize my zombie-like state instantly, and there would be no end to his worries and questions. Right now I either needed be with Edward, or needed to be alone.
When I parked outside my house I began to panic. Was this going to be like last time? Was he going to take away all of his pictures, and music, and any proof he had ever existed?
I rushed into the house and up the stairs, almost seriously injuring myself, but I was too numb to care. I ran to my small bookcase and pulled out my scrap book. I flipped through the pages and relaxed when I saw all of his photographs still in place. And even though I was relieved to still have my memories, the memories would never be enough. I knew that there was no way I could stop Edward from leaving. I whipped out my diary from my closet exhausted. I didn't get to read a single page though. I fell asleep on my wooden floor whimpering as the hole nearly tore me apart.
(A/N: Okay, so there you go. So sorry about the sadness, but if you want the adventure and happy stuff to come quicker… then please review. Reviews make me happy :-) No reviews make me sad :-( So please review!!)