The Shoot-Out
On board the Interceptor, the crew members are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. In their frenzy, they accidentally do cut a chicken's head off, and it runs around like the crew members.
Elizabeth: What is going on here?
Anamaria: The Black Pearl is catching up to us.
Elizabeth: I thought this was supposed to be the fastest ship in the Caribbean.
Anamaria: Maybe you'd like to reevaluate.
Elizabeth: We're shallow on the draft, right?
Anamaria: Now how would you know that?
Elizabeth: I saw the blueprints. Anyway, we can lose them in those shoals.
Gibbs: Whatever shoals are.
Anamaria: Lighten the ship, stem to stern!
Gibbs: All the worthless stuff gets chucked!
Several crew members attempt to throw Gibbs overboard.
Gibbs: Not me, you idiots! The cargo!
On the Black Pearl, Bo'sun locks Jack in a cell that is full of water.
Jack: You haven't been taking very good care of my ship, have you?
Bo'sun: Shut up. It's not your ship.
Barbossa: Bring out the cannons!
The cannons are brought out and the Jolly Roger is hoisted.
On the Interceptor, cargo is being chucked overboard. Will watches the Black Pearl as its cannons and oars are brought out. He stops a cannon from being chucked overboard.
Will: We're gonna need that real badly in a couple minutes.
Anamaria: It was a good idea. "Was", being past tense.
Will: We'll fight them! Load the cannons!
Anamaria: With what?
Will: Anything!
Gibbs: Nails and broken stuff! Load the cannons! With a will!
Several crew members attempt to stuff Will in the cannon.
Gibbs: Not Will, you idiots!
The crew members load the cannons with forks, knives, and assorted stuff, including Gibbs' canteen. Gibbs actually doesn't notice, because he is too busy worrying about what the Black Pearl is doing.
Gibbs: We're screwed...
Elizabeth: Lower the anchor on the right side!
Anamaria: Huh?
Elizabeth: Sorry, I meant starboard. Lower the anchor on the starboard side!
Will: Well, at least they won't be expecting it.
Anamaria: You're both crazy.
Gibbs: So is everyone in this movie. Don't judge. Lower the starboard anchor, you suckers, or we'll stuff you in the cannons!
Anamaria seems determined to pretend that she still is in control, and hangs onto the ship's steering wheel.
Elizabeth: Are you for real? Let it go!
Anamaria lets go in surprise, and jumps back as the wheel spins wildly, nearly knocking her unconcious. The ship swings around, presenting its left side to the Black Pearl.
On the Black Pearl, the pirates are quite surprised.
Barbossa: What the heck...? Hard to port!
The Black Pearl turns to present its side to the Interceptor. The two ships are now side-by-side.
Barbossa: Fire at Will!
The pirates comply. Will ducks for cover.
Elizabeth: Fire!
The two ships fire at each other. In Jack's cell, a cannon ball blows through the wall.
Jack: Not that I have anything against swiss cheese, but the holes have got to stop.
Jack finds Gibbs' canteen and tries to get a drink from it, but it's empty.
Jack: That sucks.
Jack notices that the cannon ball blew the cell's door open, and he leaves.
On the Interceptor, things are not going well.
Gibbs: Hey, Elizabeth, what's plan C?
Elizabeth: I dunno. Your turn.
Anamaria holds her gun to Elizabeth's face.
Anamaria: We'll give 'em her!
Gibbs: Why?
Anamaria: Cuz I don't like her. And she's what they're after, isn't she?
Will: No, it's…
Elizabeth: The medallion!
Will: Why do you always have to interrupt me?
Elizabeth: Just go look for it.
Will jumps up and runs below deck to search for the medallion.
Barbossa: Yes! We're winning! Prepare to board!
Grapple hooks are thrown onto the Interceptor, and pirates from the Black Pearl start to swing across to the Interceptor.
Barbossa: Some of you, blow the powder magazine. Everyone else, after the medallion! If anyone gets in your way, make them wish they hadn't!
A mast falls over the door to the below deck area, and Will is trapped.
Will: Hey! A little help here?
Jack steals a rope from a random sailor. The sailor falls on his face on the deck.
Jack: Thanks very much.
Jack swings over to the Interceptor.
Gibbs: Jack!
Jack hands him the canteen.
Jack: You really ougtta refill your canteen once and a while.
Elizabeth is engaged in a fight with a pirate. The pirate swings a sword at her, but Jack catches his hand to stop him.
Jack: Is that any way to treat a lady?
Jack knocks the pirate into the water.
Jack: Now, Elizabeth, where is the medallion?
Elizabeth: Is that all you care about?
She tries to slap him, but Jack catches her hand.
Jack: And where is dear William?
Elizabeth: Oh, crap, I knew I was forgetting something.
Elizabeth tries to move the mast and rescue Will, but she's too scrawny and the mast is too heavy.
Elizabeth: I can't move it! Hey, Jack, get your sorry butt over here and make yourself useful!
Jack stands up to help her, but then chases the monkey with the medallion instead.
Elizabeth: Sorry, Will, looks like you're outta options…
Jack follows the monkey across a fallen mast to the Black Pearl. He almost catches the monkey, but the monkey reaches Barbossa. Barbossa takes the medallion from the monkey.
Barbossa: Why, thank you, Jack.
Jack: You're quite welcome.
Barbossa: Not you, sucker. We named the monkey Jack.
Jack makes a face at Barbossa. Barbossa ignores him, and turns to his crew.
Barbossa: Yay!
The pirates all cheer.
Meanwhile, Will is still trapped below deck.
Will: This sucks.
He struggles to escape as the area fills with water. A pirate ignites the gunpowder in the powder magazine...
Revised edition 2011!