I never realized until now that some of these chapters are short. I wrote this story awhile back and this is the first time I'm looking over it again. Well, just as the last update, I put two chapters together again. I hope you all enjoy it!

And thanks for all the reviews! I love reading what you all think! Keep up the reviews :)

Chapter 5: A Certain Stillness

I turn around in my seat to check on James and he is sound asleep. I turn back and say, "You mind if I put on some Christmas music, he's asleep now."

He nods with eyes still on the road, "Sure."

Dean Martin's White Christmas fills the car. I sing along. Nathan loves when I sing. I used to sing all the time. But then I rarely did it when I came back from the tour. Now I feel that there is nothing to hold me back. Nathan loves me and agrees that the past is just the past.

I love this song. The naming brings out why I love it so much, especially today. There are white blankets of snow everywhere I look. I love Christmas! It is such a happy time. I love the music, the presents, the joy in the air, the smell of freshly baked cookies, and just knowing there is another year to look forward too. When the song is done, I smile at Nathan who is looking out at the road. He is smiling too. "I love you so much," I say to him. He grabs my hand and kisses it, letting me know he is saying the same thing. A few songs pass and we still are not there.

"How much longer babe?"

"Um, I think maybe a little longer. No worries." He smiles with encouragement.

Noticing that I'm tired he says, "Baby, its okay, you can fall asleep if you want to. You don't have to stay up with me."

"You sure?"

"Yup."

"Okay, well wake me up when we are close."

"Alright."

Then I slowly drift off to sleep.

-

"Baby, wake up. We're almost there."

I open my eyes and see that he has stopped at a red light. I sit up and glance over at James. He is wide awake. Then I glance back at my husband. He still makes my heart skip a beat every time I see him. I lean towards him and give him a peck on the cheek.

"Sleep well babe," he said.

"Uh huh."

"Well stay awake because we'll be there in a few minutes."

I glimpse out the window and see the several beach houses lined up. Although it is winter, the beach never changes. Yeah, it's not warm, but that doesn't keep you away from taking a walk on it. Just like at home, there is snow on the ground. Inside I am making many wishes to have a good Christmas. Mostly hoping that Dan won't an ass, but most likely he will without even knowing it.

I then remember one out of the many times that Dan was being an jerk. The last time he behaved like, what some people call his "normal" self, it was a few months after I found out I was pregnant. My leg was beginning to heal from the accident. Dan was making his usual commitments about things that didn't make sense. I believe it was about Nathan missing work one day. It was only ONE day. Both Nathan and I know that we need money, the reason he didn't go was because he was really sick. Dan finds out he wasn't at his job and gets mad at Nate before he could explain. Dan was saying things that we already knew. Things like he can't afford to get sick with a baby on the way and me still on crutches. I made Nathan stay home that day, he was throwing up, barely slept the night before, and he couldn't even stand on his own two feet. I was definitely not allowing his to go; he might even hurt himself even more.

Dan yelled as usual, making Nathan feel guilty. Since Nathan couldn't really do anything because he was about to throw again any second, I spoke for him. I made sure Dan heard me so I had to yell even louder than him. Once Dan left, I was fuming. I took me awhile to finally calm down and then there was this sudden, "Owww!"

Nathan looked at me concerned, "Are you okay? What's wrong? Do I need to take you to the hospital? I don't care if I'm throwing up, but ---"

"Nathan! It's okay. The baby just kicked."

"What! Oh my god, really?"

"Uh huh. Come here." I put his on my growing stomach. The baby kicks again.

"Wow," he says.

"I know."

I look up and he is smiling from ear to ear. "He's all ours."

"Yes he is." He leans and kiss me on the lips. We sit there for awhile, with our hands on my stomach. I see his wedding band and think everything is going to fine. Nothing like Dan could pull us apart, even if the situation was as stupid as it was.

Again, I shift out of my day dream and see we are here. I bit my lip knowing that it is almost Christmas.

"How about you get Jamie and take him inside since its cold. And if Luke is in there, could you tell him to help me with the presents and bags?"

"Sure babe." I say grabbing James out of the back seat. I hold him close to me so he doesn't get cold. "Lets go say hi to everyone my little one." James looks at me with that beautiful baby smile that I love. We hurry up the stairs and before I can get to the top step, Luke comes out.

"Hey Hales," he says. "Oh and hi little Jamie."

"Hi Luke." We exchange hugs quickly because it's freezing outside. "And do you mind ---"

"Helping Nate with the bags?" He laughs. "Nope, go inside and warm up. Peyton is here and so is mom and Sophie. We'll be done in no time."

"Thanks Luke."

I walk into the house quickly and find Peyton sitting by the fire. She runs over quickly once she sees us.

"Hey guys!" She says give us both a hug.

"Hey Peyt. How are you? How is New York?"

"Umm, it's good. I'm glad to be back though. I missed you so much."

"Um, Peyt, we talk like three times a week."

"Yeah, but I never actually see you."

"Good point!"

Next I heard a baby scream from the kitchen. Automatically I think its Sophie. I see Karen's face first who is trying to calm down a very upset Sophie. She comes over to us and gives me a huge hug. Sophie finally calms down when she sees Lucas walk through the door with Nathan walking behind him. Both of them holding bags. Lucas puts the bags down and walks over to hold Sophie, who is now very happy.

Karen starts laughing, "Now a days, she seems to enjoy his company more than mine."

We all laugh along with her, while Nate gives both Peyton and Karen a hug. Dan comes in to the living room from the kitchen with a smile on his face. Immediately this creeps out of all us. I can tell all of us are thinking the same thing; what is he smiling about? Unless he is strangely excited about these next few days.

To add to the strange tension, he gives me a greeting with a kiss on the cheek and Nathan a fatherly hug. "How was your drive?"

"Um, it was good dad, uh thanks." Nathan says this with such confusion. I don't blame him.

"That's good. Mind if I?" He says pointing to our son to ask permission to take him.

"Uh, sure. Thanks. I could use a break for awhile."

"No problem. Make yourselves at home."

I nod and walk towards Nathan helping him bring the bags up to our room. Once we are done. We manage to get a few minutes alone by just laying on the bed together, just us, no one else. I feel a kiss on my forehead. "As much as I miss this… I think we should go downstairs before they think we ran away."

I sit up, pouting. "I guess, I mean if we have to. But that whole "running away" thing is a great option."

"Believe me, I agree." We both laugh and grabs my hand, kissing my wedding ring. I love when he does that.

We both head downstairs. Hours pass that are filled with laughter and stories of the past few months. I start to think, this won't be so bad after all. I look around at everyone and notice they are all distracted in their own conversations. The babies are now asleep and I manage to slip away from the commotion to grab my coat and walk on the beach. This might actually be one of the first times I get to walk on a beach at Christmas. It feels better than in the summer. I feel a sense of stillness and calmness that passes through my body. Can't it be like this all the time?