Disclaimer: Still don't own

Author's Note: Huh, it stings a little worse than I thought to lose readers, but whatever, I'm not doing a rewrite just cuz some people don't like the concept of my fic. Here's chapter 6.

Chapter 6

There are a lot of things in this world that can knock a person off their feet. A rogue gurney traveling at unimaginable speeds down the hallway for instance. Or having a secret boyfriend who just so happens to be one of the greatest relationships you've ever had. But nothing knocks you on your ass better than realizing something you thought you had control over was harder to quit than you remembered it being.

Fortunantely it didn't hit while Lance was around, that would've been fun to explain. But unfortunantely it hit while I was at the hospital.

I locked myself in the supply closet and pulled myself into a ball in the corner. My shoulders shook with painful sobs and I could feel my hair plastered to my forehead with sweat. The noise in my head was so loud I didn't hear the click of the door being pushed open.

"JD?" Came Elliot's voice. I looked up at her, trying to control my breathing.

"Elliot," I gasped. "Elliot, I need you to go to my apartment and get me the ziplock bag on the couch. Don't look at it, just get it." Elliot looked like she wanted to flee, but she didn't. She sat next to me, closing the door.

"JD, you're all right," she said, running a hand through my hair. I calmed down slightly as I listened to her voice. "No give me your arm," I did as she said. I could hear her let out an aggravated sigh. "So the rumors are true then..."

"No," I whispered. "I'm better, I can control it."

"I'm not sure you can," she said. "We need to get you checked into..."

"No!" I shouted, pushing her away. She tumbled from where she was and hit her head against the shelf. I didn't turn to help her, instead I ran off, scared...just like I always had...just like I always will.

Elliot walked back to the nurses station, trying to use strands of hair to cover the purple glow from around her eye. Lance and Carla were sitting around organizing the days charts.

"Carla, can you hand me an ice pack," she said calmly. The two looked up and Lance jumped.

"Shiner!" He shrieked. "Sorry, I mean, hi Elliot." Elliot sneered at him and took the cold pack from Carla.

"What happened?" Carla asked.

"Tripped in the supply closet and hit the shelf," she said, telling a half-truth. Carla didn't believe a word of it.

"Lance, could you go check on Mr. Lambdi in room 103 for me?" Carla asked. "Your shift will probably be over after that."

"Sure," he said, catching on that she was getting rid of him. "See ya, dolls." He added, kissing the two girls on their cheeks.

"Elliot," Carla started as he walked away.

"JD," she said. "He hit me and I fell into the shelf."

"But...why would he?" Carla stammered. Elliot felt guilty to be telling Carla, but at the same time it wasn't like he was really helping himself.

"Have you seen his arms lately?" She hinted. Calra gasped.

"No, Elliot, he's not...this isn't how it's supposed to happen..." Elliot's mind caught the last line but chose to ignore it.

"Well, he isn't. He's withdrawing, but I can tell he's thinking it," she said. Carla looked relieved about the withdrawal. "But what did you mean by 'this wasn't how it's supposed to happen?'"

Carla looked guilty as she tried to avoid the question. "I think I'll invite him back to our place for the night, or until he's better."

"Carla! Don't avoid the question!"

"Well," Carla said, shifting from foot to foot. "I've sort of been playing cupid lately..."

"With who?" Elliot raised an eyebrow. Lance stopped back by and dropped a chart in front of her.

"I'm off, we meeting at the bar tonight?"

"Of course," Carla said with a smile. Lance returned it and started to walk off.

"Hey," he said, with a look of dawning realization. "Have either of you seen JD?"

Elliot's eyes widened. She turned back to Carla who gave a small, child-like smile.

"You..."

"Janitor!" Elliot said, walking up to the tall, frightening man and attempting to blow her hair away in a sexy manner. "I need your help."

Janitor literally dropped everything to listen, which was unfortunante for the old woman he'd been helping up only moments before.

"Yes, blonde doctor," he said eagerly. Elliot smiled, happy that she had picked such a good person to befriend.

"Janitor, could you spy on JD for me? He has a secret and I want to know," she said with a pout. Janitor began searching his pockets and pulled a stack of pictures out.

"You mean this?" He said, showing her the picture of JD and Lance kissing the day of JD's drug test. Elliot gasped, grabbing the photo's from him.

"This is what Carla was hiding, I knew it!" She hugged the Janitor for supplying the evidence. "Could you get more pictures of them for me to use as blackmail?"

"More pictures, yes, blackmail, no." Elliot seemed taken aback.

"But you always torment JD! You almost killed him that one time!" He laughed at the memory. "Why won't you help me with this!"

"That picture," he said pointing. "That changed what I do from harmless torment to hate crime. It's just not worth the lawsuits."

He picked up his mop and walked away, leaving behind a very shocked and annoyed Elliot.

"Frick!"

I sat on the roof, holding my legs to my chest. The wave of withdrawal had subsided slightly, I was still shaking and my cheeks were still wet with tears. I knew I needed to go back down to meet Lance, but I felt I needed to regain some composure first.

"You lied to me, Sandra," Dr. Cox said. I turned and saw him standing in the doorway. "You promised you would never be back here as a user."

"I'm not," I said, lying, obviously. Dr. Cox rolled his eyes.

"Good God, girl," he said, sitting next to me. "Open your eyes, you're using again. There is no such thing as one last hit. If you won't stop using for yourself do it for your friends, do it for Jace's memory..." My eyes welled up at the mention and I could even catch a slight hitch in his voice. Then he added something that surprised me. "Do it for Lance."

I turned to look at him and he sighed. "Carla," he said, explaining it in one word. "You know, you don't have to hide that from any of us and you don't have to hide this from him."

There was something about his acceptance that opened my eyes. I had a problem, a problem I needed to talk to someone about, someone who would care.

"Come on, kid, let's go inside." Dr. Cox said. I stood shakily and walked next to him. As we rounded the corner he turned to me and looked me in the eyes.

"Actually, do keep the relationship hidden around me, I don't even like seeing you with another woman. How does it feel to finally be in a straight relationship, Judy?"

Ah...back to normal...