Disclaimer: God... I don't even WISH I was stephanie mayer, I wish i was Bella so edward would love me and be my boyfriend..so NO IM NOT STEPHANIE MEYER!!!

lol suz, you should read the book!!! ITS AWSOME!!! thanks for reviewing though.

BPOV

"NO EDWARD! NOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" I heard Emmet yell.

Edward came back in snickering menacingly.

"What did you do?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"Nothing." Edward smiled innocently.

"Edward!"

"Alright! I maaay have thrown a-um-veryrabidevilchiptmunkathim..."

"I'm sorry, WHAT?"

"I might have, oh say, thrown a very rabid evil chiptmunk at him..."

"Thats...weird." I told him. Edward shrugged.

"I needed to throw the nearest thing at him. Well, Jasper was closer, but I don't think he would really apreciate that...the chiptmunk was the next closest thing. You shoiuld have heard what he was thinking about us!"

"Wait. There are rabid evil chiptmunks here?" I asked wide eyed.

"You're scared of chiptmunks, but NOT vampires? You never cease to amaze me."

"No, its not that, its just..." I trailed off, i didn;t want him to know what I was going to say.

"Just what?" He asked, loking up from undereath his lashes, dazzling me into oblivion

"Well, you've been a little over-protective lately... It isn't like you to let the chiptmunks get me." I answered, realising how dumb this conversation sounded let the chiptmunks get me??? holy crap thats queer.

"I would never let the chiptmunks get you." Edward said defensively.

"Sorry."

"No need darling. However, carlisle wants to talk to me now, he's mind shouting. WHAT!?!"

"GET YOUR STONY ASS OUT HERE!" Carlisle shouted. He swore, he never swears.

JPOV

I was minding my bussiness. I mean REALLY minding my bussiness, I was whizzing behind a tree. (Vampires only have to pee when an animal had urine in its system and you accidentally drank some...apparently the deer I ate REALLY had to go. How I didn't notice I was drinking that confuses and disgusts me.) That was when Carlisle aproached me.

"Jasper?"

"Holy crap Carlisle! I'm peeing!"

"I can see that."

"I dont WANT you to see that!"

" I'll turn away, but you do know I see it all the time at the hospitol...pooping too, did you know old people sometimes finger paint with it?" (A/N My dad is a nurse dont laugh... all my friends do...yeah thanks guys and thats what he told me...the finger painting part...gross)

"ok...didn't need to know that."

"yes well, your eyes are looking a bit dark, Jasper. We have a human with us, and well...you don't have the most self controll. Edward's eyes are looking a little dark too, We'll all go hunting together, Emmet can watch Bella."

"I just ate a deer this morning!"

"No you didn't, by the looks of it, you weren't paying attention and drank its...well you know."

"oh. How embarrasing." I stated. If I could blush I would have. And that poor deer. Off somewhere with its gallbladder torn to shreds...hopefully it died from loss of blood.

"no, one time me and Esme went hunting and we were..."

"I don't want to know, your emotions tell it all."

"oh, right."

"You better go get Edward." I said while zipping my fly.

"Yes I'll do that."

EMPOV

After Carlisle, Jasper, and Edward had left I decided that I should bond with Bella.

"Bella come here!" I called. She looked up from the book she was reading and walked out from the shade of the tree.

"Yes Emmet?"

"I think we need to talk."

"ok"

"about...Edward." She looked at me questioningly. "Please sit Bella." As she did so it only took a swift movement of my arm to take care of what needed to be done. As her butt hit the log a loud fart blew through the air. I looked at Bella's face, a firetruck would have paled in comparison.