Ugh, sorry this one's so short, but 'tis all I got right now. Okay, guys, I just wanna take a moment to tell ya why I wrote this fic. I did not do it to bash Hinamori- I tried my hardest NOT to do that here. I did it because all the Hitsu/Hina fics I've come across either have happy fluff that completely ignores the whole Aizen thing, or Hitsugaya is the one getting his heart broken. I haven't read any heart-broken Hinamori ones, so I decided to write one, cuz that's what I was in the mood for.
So, if you like Hitsu/Hina, and angst, you might enjoy this. Hell, if you've made it this far, you probably are.
And if you don't like Hinamori, you'll probably enjoy the pain she's going through. Unrequited love doth suck, ne?
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"It's not true. I'm over him. Really! I'm- I'm me again. So we can go back to the way it used to be." Tears ran in steady streams down her cheeks.
"We'll never be that close again. That died when…it happened." She winced- he was referring to the night she tried to kill him. She lowered her head, hiding from his steady gaze. How could he be so calm, so accepting of such a deeply painful issue?
Realization hit her. Matsumoto. She'd lent her strength and will to Hitsugaya. Because of her, Hitsugaya had accepted what happened, dealt with the pain, and moved on. He'd healed from Matsumoto's heart, her touch. His wounds had turned into scars, and now he was that much stronger.
The trickle turned into a torrent. Hinamori curled in on herself, crying brokenly. She felt lost, alone and scared. Aizen-sama had abandoned her. Now, Shiro-chan had, too. She gasped when small hands gently framed her wet cheeks.
Hitsugaya held the bunched up ends of the long, loose sleeves in his slender fingers, using the black cloth to wipe away her tears. Hinamori could smell Matsumoto in the cloth, and it broke her heart. Her scent, sweetpea laced with sake, was all over him, marking him as hers. "Hinamori, I'm sorry. Even if I wasn't with Matsumoto, I still don't feel that way about you."
Hinamori's tears slowed to a trickle, her eyes wide and a bright brown as she stared at him, breath hitching in her thin chest.
"Sh-shiro-chan…" She whined.
Luminous turquoise eyes were dark with weariness. He stared at her for several seconds in a heavy silence. She hoped she was finally getting through to him. At her bright eyes and hopeful expression, he sighed heavily, hands falling to his sides, where the black sleeves fell to cover them. He rose to his feet, staring down at her as she gazed up at him. How could he get through to her? They were on different wavelengths- they always had been. "I really am sorry, Momo."
"B-but, I need you-" She reached out for him with trembling hands.
"No, you don't." He grabbed her wrists. "I won't be Aizen's replacement."
Hinamori clenched her fists, jerking her hands free; Hitsugaya let her slip out of his grasp.
"So, you're going to turn your back on me, too?" Her voice wavered, thick with tears and mucus.
Anger shifted the hue in his eyes, and his voice was tinged with frost. "I've never turned my back on you. I protected you, even after you tried to kill me. But still, it's not enough for you. It' never is. Only Aizen will do." It wasn't an accusation; it was a simple statement of truth. A fact. She'd never be over Aizen, and they both knew it.
"NO! I'm- I'm past him!" Her pitch rose in desperation.
Hitsugaya shook his head sadly. He couldn't bring himself to say "And I'm past you." It would be too cruel. "Momo, even in Soul Society, time waits for no one- it continues on. Things change. People change- they grow. Nothing stays the same."
She lowered her head, breaking eye contact. "Why couldn't you wait for me?"
"Because you never wanted me to. And it's not fair to ask that of me. I've moved on- what right have you to hold me back?" Hitsugaya stepped around her, so they were side by side. "I've told you this before. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. Over the centuries, you've become like family to me. I'll help you, but not like this." He didn't look at her- those brilliant eyes were focused upon the sky.
Hinamori hugged herself, slumping over in a huddled ball as she started crying anew. She couldn't form words- she was sobbing too hard, in too much emotional pain. She wished she was still in that coma, in a blissful suspended mental state. She couldn't feel any pain that way.
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Review. You know you wanna.