O.C. #2 : God! Another Prolog-thingy! Too many...-had a part in writing them-
Out : I don't think they mind...-worried look- Do you?
Chapter 3 - Dreamscape Worlds
(My description of the dreamscape is based on a story titled By Your Eyes. I love the concept.)
Everyone knows of the conscious world. Everyone knows of the living world. Everyone knows of the dreaming world, the world of sleep. And Everyone knows of the afterlife's world of the dead. But almost no one...knows of the dreamscape world.
Kira knows of this world. He escaped to it every time he sleeps. His consciousness could spend hours there at a time...
It was a dark place, influenced by emotions. But for one who has no emotions...it is a desolate place...Dark, with a thin layer of dark water at your feet. Clouds resembling rain clouds cover the sky. If there was a sun there, it's rays were covered by the cloud covering.
It reminded Kira...of the end of the world...He'd heard that, at the end of the world...
The sky would be ablaze with fire, and the smoke from these manmade fires would be so black it would cover the earth. The ground beneath our feet would be barren and soon, covered in the waters of the ocean...swallowed by something greater...
After that, the earth would rise from the ocean, centuries later, and the world could start over. The fires' ashes would give birth to new vegetation and life would start all over again...from the beginning...
Kira wondered...would the dreamscape world ever 'start over from the beginning?' Would the light shine there, greenery and life covering it? But, despite all of his hoping, the deamscape's lights never came on. He didn't have the emotional power to give this place life...
So he was left alone in this unknown world, to cry and lay in the cool waters of oblivion.
One day soon after the dead him came to be, when he was getting used to the loneliness...a sudden light appears above him, blinding him.
For a moment, he thought it was heaven, and he had died in his sleep...truly died...But he soon learned that someone else had entered into his dreamscape. Their form was blurred...blurred so badly he couldn't tell what they looked like.
But their eyes...their eyes shone so bright that he could've stared into them for hours. And suddenly, the water beneath him became green grass. A forest appeared near him and the sun shone brightly above him. Few clouds, white, were in the sky. All traces of the former dreamscape were gone.
A confused voice soon found him.
"Why were you sitting in the dark?" it asked. Kira turned to them and got caught in their eyes. "Hello?" they asked nervously, when he didn't respond.
"I..." he couldn't talk well. He instead nodded his head slightly and tried to tell the boy silently that he couldn't do anything else but sit in the dark.
"What? You don't talk?" the boy asked. Kira shook his head vigorously, then gave the other boy a pitiful look. "You...can't?"
Kira's eyes widened slightly and he nodded dumbly. The other boy seemed to understand.
"Oh, ok. Well...I understand when you don't want to, or just can't talk about something." he sat down next to Kira. "I'll wait until you're able."
Kira gave him a grateful look, then curled his legs, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.
"My name's Athrun. You don't have to tell me yours." Athrun said suddenly. "I'm 12. And...you are?...I know! I'll guess!"
Kira gave him a somewhat questioning look.
"10?"
Shake.
"9?"
Bigger shake.
"Oh, higher then...Oh! Are you 12? Like me?"
Nod nod.
"Great! We can be friends then!" Athrun said happily.
Kira could feel himself beginning to cry. A friend? He'd never had one...He felt as though...as though he couldn't be happier. The clouds disappeared from the sky and everything seemed brighter in the dreamscape.
"Are...are you crying...?" Athrun asked worriedly. He noticed the sudden brightness of the area around him moments before he was glomped by Kira, who was crying happily into the blurred shirt Athrun wore.
Then, Athrun knew. He knew Kira was happy, and that's why he was crying. So he began to laugh. He couldn't help it. He laughed and couldn't stop. Kira was just too cute! And even though he couldn't really see anything except his purple eyes, he knew Kira had to be cute in appearance too. He hugged Kira back and managed to stop laughing long enough to say something to the brunette.
"I'm guessing...you don't have many friends." he smiled wide when Kira shook his head against Athrun's chest. It was cute and it tickled, causing Athrun to start laughing again.
-
Over the years, Athrun had come to enjoy Kira's silent company. He found that...he didn't care if Kira ever spoke to him, though he sometimes wished to hear his voice. And Kira loved staying in the dreamscape until Athrun grew so tired he transferred to the dream world for sleep.
He knew he would never be able to go there, he was never tired...His body, his dead self did everything...so his conscious and unconscious self was never tired. Kira would wrap his arms around his knees after Athrun left and the world returned to darkness. He would cry silently, constantly wishing he could either wake up or pass on to the dream world...just once.
He never wished to die though. He never wanted to leave and make Athrun sad. Athrun happy was what Kira loved the most. He would hate himself if...he made Athrun sad...
Kira had never truly grown up. He had no real teacher, no friends, nothing. So he never really mentally grew up. He physically grew up, and knew more about pain than most people in their entire lifetimes would ever learn. But he knew only what Marmen and the others had told him.
Before the fire, when his mother and the rest of his family had been alive. Kira had learned of compassion and love. He knew how to care about other people, how they should be treated...
Athrun on the other hand...It seemed his life was perfect. He grew up with his mother usually. His father was always away, and his mother didn't seem to like his father very much. She taught Athrun the same things Kira's mom had told him.
When she died, when he was 6, in a fire...he felt he'd lost every meaning life had ever had. His father saw his deteriorating mental state and had sent him off for counseling. Maybe it was there that he had developed feelings for guys?
His counselor had been gay, and loved to tell Athrun nice things. Athrun didn't know the man was gay, but after he stopped seeing the man, he was able to piece it together. The man, though having ulterior motives, had succeeded in keeping Athrun from killing himself due to emotional pain.
Athrun didn't realize the lasting affect the man had on him until he returned to his normal life and began going to school. He was only 8 when he saw a guy and first felt something. He had wanted to hold the other boy and kiss him, though he knew not why.
This boy's name had been Nicol. He had green hair and brown eyes. His aura was kind and he was always trying to make others happy. When Nicol turned 9 and Athrun turned 10, Nicol moved away. His father's new job called them off. Athrun had felt so sad.
Later, he had seen...Yzak. Yzak's silver hair and startling blue eyes had caught Athrun. He was 13 at the time. Yzak was a few months older than him (I think) and so he turned 14 before Athrun did. Yzak had a boyfriend named Dearka, and they were always caught making out behind the school.
At one point, Yzak called Athrun out there and kissed him behind Dearka's back. Athrun had kissed him back, and loved it. They were in the middle of making out when Dearka had showed up and Yzak had claimed Athrun jumped him.
Athrun never saw the two again...they let it spread that Athrun was gay, and the humiliation caused Athrun to switch schools. He didn't care if people knew he was gay...as long as they didn't criticize him for it.
His friend from childhood, Lacus Clyne, had been a student at his next school. And they instantly became friends again. The first thing Athrun did once he had her friendship again was confess to her that he was gay.
At first she had avoided him, but then she had come to him and said she understood...that you couldn't choose who you liked. And she supported him every time it bothered him. Athrun had not told Kira about his being gay yet...he didn't know what gender Kira was.
But he found that...he liked Kira...a lot. So he decided on guy. It seemed most likely that Kira was a guy. But just because he liked him isn't why. Kira just had the aura about him that let you know what was happening. Athrun knew Kira was a boy soon after meeting him, even though he still didn't know his name.
So they would spend their nights in each other's presence. Kira often took to staring at Athrun, as if he could tell everything about him just by staring. Athrun liked the attention, and frequently made Kira blush by asking 'Do you like me that way?' ...Though he didn't know why it made the brunette blush. But it was fun.
Kira performed with perfection, and Athrun lived life. Neither knew much about the other's real life, and they didn't care. Athrun didn't care what the reason was for Kira being mute, and Kira didn't care why Athrun acted the way he did. They were content with life as it was in the dreamscape.
Kira's consciousness stayed that way, not awake and not asleep, for a long time. He was almost constantly in the dreamscape. But, when he and Athrun were 16...he performed per usual, and the crowd loved it.
But, when his eyes had met Athrun's...he had woken up...truly been alive for a moment. The flash of the special effects hid Athrun from view and he was pushed back again, to his semi-conscious state once more.
Kira now knew that there was indeed life beyond himself. He had been able to actually see the crowd and feel their applause, for a split moment. He knew life wasn't all bad. But, it had been pulled away from him again...and he was no longer alive...not really.
Yea...I know...I'm creepy...-gloom symbols as she sits in a corner-