for people falling in love".
Albert Einstein
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Axel x Roxas
The Sacred
Somebody
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"I can't believe we're actually doing this…"
"Just a little more this way!"
Roxas prayed under his breath not to get killed when Axel grabbed him by the wrist and started flinging him through portals of darkness, quickly strolling through wide corridors dimly lit with black and purple light. The fire head led him through the seemingly lightless passageways deftly, as though possessing a sixth sense Roxas lacked.
Axel appeared to know where he was going. Although Roxas was practically blind in the nearly absolute shadow, Axel was worse off; he was leading them out of memory to a specific street in a specific city, at a certain point on a certain corner. This was a lot harder to pull off then one could imagine. He had to think about the specifics of their mission: blend in with the crowd, get lunch, play games, and return to the castle before the street lights went on. Easy enough, right? Not exactly.
The Organization had some pretty strict rules on the whole "secret life" deal. If you had even the faintest sliver of an alter ego, they got on your tail for treason.
And if you were convicted for treason, your sentence was oblivion.
That didn't sound too friendly.
Nonetheless, Axel was sure this whole plan was going to work. He had scouted out everything to be exact so that everything was perfect for Roxas' day of a real life. None of that neophyte training all new members had to go through. Axel wasn't going to let Roxas be their jackal forever. He had to have some sort of a life outside the workplace. Even if the Organization was the only life a Nobody had.
Axel was putting all his faith in his plan of escape from the Organization's aquiline eyes. He had to work out every part of the plan perfectly.
The first part of the plan was to blend with the crowd… At this point Axel got an A+ for his homework.
In the world they were heading to, it was summer, unlike the city Roxas hailed from. The sun would be relentlessly beating down on their necks, making their foreheads pour with sweat. They would need light-colored clothes with enough space for ventilation of hot air. They would need to trade in their Organization XIII coats for something a little…less like a sore thumb and more like a stereotypical cardboard cutout with optional pizzazz. He didn't want to seem like a tourist, but he didn't want to look too local. He needed a perfect balance, something in-between.
That's when it hit him in the face.
In the morning before lunch hour, Axel spent some good money on disguises for Roxas and himself. He was taking an unbelievable risk guessing Roxas' height and shoe size, but his head inflated when everything fit nicely.
He had the taste to pick out a light blue tee shirt (which he had Roxas roll up the sleeves), with a white tank top, emblazoned with a blue star logo that had the number thirteen in the middle, to go over it. He accessorized the youth with a blue and white star wristband, baggy black cargo shorts, and a pair of slip-on sandals.
It's not that he wanted to control Roxas by his fashion sense, it's just the matter of "fitting in." The clothes he had picked out reflected the weather conditions and what the teens of today were slapping on their bodies, somewhat placing them in their own group of stereotypes. That was the whole ideal.
As said, before Axel did his homework.
Roxas was stunned when Axel threw the clothes at his chest minutes before they were leaving.
"W-what's this?"
"Your disguise," Axel replied. "Try it on for me."
"…Uhhhh…" Roxas blushed on the inside. "Not in front of you—" He suddenly understood why Axel wanted to stop by the Mens' Shower.
With a shrug, Axel unzipped and dropped his Organization coat, letting it fall to his ankles. He was already dressed with his own disguise. Roxas jolted at the sight of Number Nine clothed in a pair of blue jeans with one torn knee, a dark turquoise tank top, and an unzipped black short-sleeved hoodie with fiery crimson Celtic pentagrams on the shoulders. Axel completed the ensemble with a black and red wristband, a black onyx ring, and a pair of black army boots.
"You like?" Axel did a frisky about-face, waggling his eyebrows in mischief. "I thought I looked a bit more on the dramatic Goth side, but I think the pentagrams pushing it."
Roxas remained silent. He felt a lump in his throat, wanting to swallow it down and answer the red headed elder, but he felt the words die on his tonsils. He resolved to simply bob his head as he turned around and dropped his cloak.
When he finally turned back around clothed in his trendy attire, Axel grinned.
"Knock 'em dead, Roxas!"
Roxas laughed nervously, and then they went off into a spiraling portal of darkness Axel tore open out of nothingness.
Axel smirked silently to himself, leading Roxas by the wrist through the dim corridors of mostly darkness, as he thought about the next part of the plan: getting lunch.
Alrighty, well icecream would be a great appetizer, but it wasn't going to quail their hunger pangs completely. They would need something else… Axel wasn't worried about munny. He had plenty of it, added to what he borrowed from Demyx's dresser drawer without asking. He'd pay his roommate back, he swore he would. Axel wasn't overall very worried about it. What would Nine do if he found out he involuntarily spotted Axel's budget with his own life savings? Squirt him in the eyes with a water gun? Probably.
That, or tell the whole Organization about Axel's little play date with the new kid.
Yikes. Axel shuddered at the thought of Xemnas' punishment on both him and Roxas. There was bound to be screaming and almost guaranteed to be blood shed. Unless Xemnas compromised his castigation methods. Oh boy, that would NOT be good. Axel shivered at the thought. What worse could his absolute Superior do…? Uggghh, he did not want to know!
Roxas lagging behind to a dead stop as he pulled him through the dark ripped Axel from his thoughts.
"Come oooon. A little further, Roxas, nothing to be afraid of…" He yanked slightly, but Roxas didn't move. Axel forced himself to stop.
Roxas was stationary, listening intently to the silence.
"What, hearing ghosts?"
"Shhh!" Roxas spat.
Axel chuckled. "Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark."
"No, that's not it," said Roxas, sounding slightly peeved. "I think I heard something move."
"Positive it wasn't your stomach giving you the spooks?"
"Yeah…I thought I heard someone trip," Roxas replied, breathing softly.
"I don't believe this… Well, it wasn't me…" Axel's words wandered off for a second. Then who was it?
"I know that, but…"
"I think someone's getting paranoid. You worry too much," Axel pulled Roxas afresh, this time by the hand. He continued leading Roxas feverishly through the dimness.
No, I worry enough.
Roxas was sure of what he heard. It sounded like a yelp of pain, like when you run into the edge of a desk or get caught in the face by a swinging locker door – both having happened to Roxas on a number of occasions. He was sure he knew what he heard.
"Axel, you don't believe me…" Roxas said mostly to himself, sounding hurt.
"You're right, I don't but that doesn't mean it didn't happen," Axel answered unexpectedly. "You know what you heard. I don't. People choose what they believe, but there's hardly a why," He added, "Belief is like the future – it can always change. Although I don't believe now, that doesn't mean I won't believe yet."
Roxas was surprised at the red head's sudden philosophical point of view. His lack of response prompted Axel to continue.
"If you can't prove something happened, but you know it did, remain your own witness. People are fickle when it comes to belief. They never have enough of it but they always have a lack of it. Open-minded individuals take less to convince, so don't waste your breath trying to say it happened -- SHOW that it happened. There just aren't a whole lot of open-minded people left. Focus on the latter. If you can't show it to them, then they're not gonna believe you anyway. Got it memorized?"
Roxas was speechless.
"You better commit that to memory, Roxas. It'll save you a lot of time… Sometimes getting someone to believe you, when you tell the truth, is the hardest thing to do," Axel said. "Even more so, what you're trying to get them to believe may be too hard for them to grasp, doubling the load. They'll always deny you, even if it's an absolute truth… People want evidence, a reason to believe, and what they're not getting is that not everything can be explained. Some things just are and there is no why. Doesn't have to be. It's how it's always been. Some questions are only meant to be asked and never answered.
"If you ask where the sun rises, you will get an answer. But if you ask why it rises in the East instead of the West, you'll be searching for facts forever. Then, truth becomes a one-sided account. You will only find opinions and stories trying to explain. That's when it's up to you on what to pick out to be the truth, even if it belongs to someone else. Once a belief is adopted, it's yours, meaning it's also yours to share and change. But just because you share it, doesn't mean others will always accept it," Axel was finished. He was slightly embarrassed that he just went off like that, rambling about the truth and believing… When he thought about it, it sounded almost like he implied much more beneath what was actually said.
The truth was, he did.
"Axel…I never knew…." Roxas started to say.
"What, that I can calm down enough to actually think sometimes? I'm hot-headed, not empty-headed." Axel chuckled slightly. "Oh, Roxas my boy…" He said, shaking his head. "Still so very much to learn with only one teacher. You only understand so little."
"Oh, I see. Now you're calling me empty-headed," joked Roxas, trying to get rid of the serious mood.
Axel grew silent. "Maybe…" He drawled impishly.
"Well, then teach me not to be, Axel. Teach me more, if you're my so-called teacher."
"I am. Class is now in session. Today's lesson: How to have fun when your life is a shit hole."
Axel turned left down the corridor, into a dead-end hallway. The lights faded the farther they walked and soon they where standing in front of a wall covered in darkness. There was not a glimmer of light anywhere.
"Dead end," said Roxas, rather obviously.
"Nope this is where we need to be," Axel replied simply.
"How?" asked Roxas.
"It's a gateway to the world where your lesson begins."
"Oh," Roxas seemed a bit shaken. He suddenly realized something.
He was holding Axel's hand—or was Axel holding his?—and neither of them had let go yet. He felt a stirring inside him the more he thought about letting go.
He discovered that he didn't want to.
This was freaking him out.
"In the absence of light, darkness prevails," said Axel, walking forward and letting go of Roxas' hand "but the closer you get to the light the greater your shadow becomes. Remember that, Roxas."
"Why?" asked Roxas, again with the questions. To him he felt like his subconscious was actually asking about why Axel had let go of his hand.
"For me, there's a reason you should," Axel answered cryptically. "And I believe that right now you don't need to know."
Roxas looked baffled. His face showed it as he stared at the darkness-covered wall.
Keep him guessing. He'll want to know everything and I won't tell him everything…Crave it long enough Roxas, and when you finally get it you'll be glad you waited.
Axel chuckled. "Don't look so confused. It makes you look like Demyx – I mean, an idiot," Smirking, he threw out his other hand, thrusting his palm at the painted darkness. The portal violet and indigo light creeped open from the wall of darkness, engulfing Number Nine and Thirteen.
"That's mean," Roxas mock-scolded as they began being swallowed by black tendrils.
Axel shrugged. "I ain't all that nice."
Walking down the street, Roxas needed his head to go a full three-sixty. There was too much to see and not enough time to look at it all. Axel casually strolled beside the adventurous youth, pondering silently directions.
Their portal had led them to a certain point on a certain street: the alleyway on Star Fruit Avenue; Axel picked an alley so that innocent bystanders didn't go stark-raving mad at the sight of people popping out of walls. Now they were walking down the sidewalk, heading towards Battlefield Memorial Park.
"Wow," Roxas murmured. "This place reminds me of my city."
"I figured as much," Axel said, "This place is just as hostile and dirty as I remember."
Roxas stopped examining his environment to toss Axel an interested look.
"You used to live here?"
"Yep. I'm still king of the city."
"Huh…." Roxas glanced at the ground. "So, that means you were…"
"A member of a gang?" Axel looked at Roxas from the corner of his eye. "Yeah. I never belonged, though. Our leader thought I was going to defect and join our rivals. It wasn't worth the stress. He was just some scrawny little jerk who probably beat off on his mother's face every night."
Roxas shuddered at Axel's disgustingly descriptive insult.
"I got kicked out when I refused to gang rape a pregnant woman. Then I kicked their butts so hard their unborn grandchildren's children had bruises," The redhead gave a chuckle. He wiped his finger across the tip of his nose as though mocking the defeated with the gesture. "I roamed the streets for a while, meeting up with a guy in a black coat when I tried to use a fake I.D. to get into a dance club."
"Really…"
"Mmm-hmm. As far as clichés go, the rest is history seems too watered-down for my taste…" said Axel, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "If I've got my facts in line, I'd say you're from the streets too, Roxas."
"Good eye," Roxas smirked.
"Gangster, too?" Axel asked playfully. "Or were you a good little boy?"
Roxas shrugged. "Not a gangster."
"Good boy gone bad?" asked Axel. "Ran away from home at fifteen to live it up?"
"No," Roxas replied softly. "I never had a home."
" 'Never?'" Axel repeated.
Roxas shook his head. "I've been homeless for as long as I can remember," He moodily watched his every step across the pavement. "I don't have any memories about parents … a house… friends…even school. Nada. Zilch. I'm blank."
Axel's mind considered Roxas' words. To this day he still felt just as blank about the past. For Nobodies, memories were fragile things: at times hard to obtain but easy to destroy.
"Think of it this way, Roxas," said Axel, rounding the corner. "Nobodies weren't meant to live in the past. What's special about us is that we can only live for today 'cause you never know what the future may bring," He smiled at the blonde youth. "Besides, living in the past ain't healthy. Now, I want you to wait here for a sec while I go get your surprise."
Roxas stopped. "Wait here?"
"Is there an echo?" Axel glared at the sky, cupping his ear. "Yes, wait here. You wouldn't wanna spoil your present. I don't want you to know what you're getting. If you did, there goes all my fun out the window right?" Giving him a small smile, Axel patted Roxas on the shoulder, and then disappeared somewhere across the street by dancing in traffic.
"Huh?" Roxas was a little dumbstruck. "What an oddball."
Playing in traffic? The evidence towards Axel's diminishing state of mind seemed to be piling up. Roxas found himself grinning at thought of Axel being a bit of a nutter. Yeah Axel was a little… spontaneous. Every bit fitting of the metaphorical image of a wild fire; wild and extreme, restless and demanding, and predictably unpredictable. Same would be the Axel of Greek poetry: a merciful fire god that seemed to favor the sly and impish.
When Roxas thought of Axel, he thought of a character in a play by that famous writer and playwright. Y'know, the one who wrote all those florid sonnets and romantic dramas. Shakespeare, that's the guy. Roxas thought Axel was like the mischievous fairy Puck from The Midsummer's Eve Dream. Puck caused all kinds of problems, some on accident and others not so much.
Axel seemed to be playing Puck in the drama of Roxas' life. He seemed the type to fiddle around with authority and bend the rules slightly. A guy with nothing to lose and yet nothing to gain. He liked to dance with fire demons, burning them instead of himself.
Roxas had a bad feeling about today. So far all of his premonitional feelings had been right.
He hoped today would be the first day he wasn't.
Despite being told to "wait here" Roxas decided he would emulate Axel by exploiting a loophole to bend the command slightly. He wandered a little ways down the sidewalk and seated himself on a wooden bench in the shade of an oak tree. He rested on his elbows on his knees, staring at his toes poking out of his sandals. He wiggled them slightly for dull entertainment.
The heat was getting to him. His mind felt heavy and hazy from the stifling hot day. His eyes didn't want to be open in the bright sunlight, giving him a slight migraine. Roxas bemoaned the discomforts of summer, but praised the freedom the hot day granted. He rested his head in his hands, feeling droplets of sweat bead on his forehead and roll down his temples.
He felt his heartbeat throbbing in his wrists, pulsating against his head. His breathing came slowly, as he felt like the thin air was without oxygen. He was lightheaded, feeling faint and drowsy all at once.
Roxas didn't like this feeling, a victim of the ruthless heat index and an empty belly.
With little thought Roxas brought his hands from his face, laying down on the bench. His eyes become lidded as he placed the back of his hand over them. Roxas thought it was nice being close by Battlefield Memorial Park because the cars seemed to drive at a low hum, the birdcalls sounding like bells chiming crystal clear in his ears. The sun overhead poured gently down on Roxas' face through the tree limbs' greenery as he felt familiarity and fatigue wash over him.
Just like back in the forest, a long time ago…he thought.
Or so it seemed.
I guess the heat wears me out.
Roxas smiled to himself. Although he never let it show, he could be pretty lazy sometimes. Back when he was first starting out in the Order he was worked to the point of passing out while standing, staying up late running errands and doing miscellaneous training exercises and then getting up at five to do it all over again. Whenever he finally got to sleep in he never got out of bed. Even if he woke up he didn't get out of bed. He just laid there, absentmindedly dreaming with his eyes open.
Roxas knew he was a bit of a comfort creature. He never got out of bed because he felt safe and warm between his comforter and crisp sheets, nuzzled in the caress of his chilly pillowcase and fluffy pillow. He liked how the morning chilled his linens, giving them a refreshing, cold sensation to his skin. Only on those hot nights where his room seemed to be steamy with the vapors of hell did he ever wake up with his covers off. Roxas sought comfort almost all the time, finding it very important to how a day begins, what happens and how it ends. He would never admit it being a comfort freak, but he would never give it up as a fact.
Roxas closed his eyes, yawning as his lips fell into an unintentional smile. His free arm hung off the side, his fingers ghosting sun-dried blades of grass and dead dandelions, never minding that his sandals slid off his feet and plopped to the ground softly.
Yep, he was going to wait for Axel. Right here. While he succumbed to his laziness.
Axel couldn't make up his mind. What would Roxas like? He seemed willing for anything new, if not strange. Was he the type who liked something new, or did he hanker for the classics?
Axel hated routine. When life doesn't have unexpectancy, why even live it? He couldn't stand to-do lists, daily planners, or PDAs. They just mocked him at the fact that he lacked patience and organizational skills to actual manage his meetings instead of showing up last minute. Everytime he did that, Xemnas always made him repeat everything said thereafter word for word while dodging insults from the other members of the Organization. Ahhhh, well, Axel didn't give a damn then so why should he now?
The chattering man and woman received their icecream and walked off to the side, canoodling each other's arms and licking their icecream treats in delight.
Axel wasn't really sure why the scene caught his eye. It made his innards ice over and twitch for some reason as he dwelled on it further. The expression on their faces…The way she clung lovingly to her lover's arm…The twinkle in the man's eye and the tone of the woman's laugh… It all made Axel feel ill at ease. Something inside him was trying to get recognized that somehow connected to the scene, and he didn't like it one bit. It was something biting him from the back of his mind; something dying to come up for air but Axel kept it suffocating. Whatever it was Axel fought it. He kept it suppressed, fearing that one day it would impart its vindictive vengence upon him at the wrong moment.
"Hey buddy."
Axel remained in his thoughts, winning the battle against the alien hatching in his brain.
"Yo, crazy guy with the red hair," a brute-ish voice nabbed Axel's real-time attentions. Axel finally looked up at him, seeing the disfigured mug of an obese Italian man who had a lot of facial hair in an apron. "You gonna buy or what?"
Axel frowned deeply, eyes lidding. He was not impressed by the kiosk owner's conduct. His lower lip hunched up slightly. "Yeah, I'm gonna buy. Why else would I be standing here talking to your ugly face?"
The man grumbled. "Okay okay okay. Whatever. What'll it be?"
"Two Sea-Salt icecreams and snap to it, or I'll withdraw my services."
"Alright already. That'll be a hundred and fifty munny pal. Sheesh!" The man popped the latch on his icecream stand and lifted the hatch, reaching in. "No need to get cranky."
"One would hope," Axel mumbled, probably low enough the vendor did not hear it. He felt his pants pocket for his munny pouch. He felt his hoodie pocket for the munny and came up dry. Frantically he began patting all over his body in search for his munny. "No!"
"What is it, can't pay?" The man sneered, holding the two Sea-Salt icecreams smugly.
"I can't find it. Where did I put it?" Axel said, mostly to himself. He continued patting his clothes, digging in his pockets, squeezing his legs and ankles, and even his own buttocks.
"Now you're just on vacation," The man gave a guttural laugh that made Axel grit his teeth and want to slug him.
"Arrraggghhh!" Axel howled, at a loss for words to express his frustration with himself. "Dammit! Where is it? No! Awwww, maannn!" He dropped his posture, hunching forward in a slouch of shame.
"I don't believe this…" The vendor broke into a fit of laughter, wiping away a tear from his eye with his other hand. "Mister high and mighty suddenly a penniless jerk! Ahh, I marvel irony," He said, making a movement to put away his merchandise.
"Here you go, sir,"
Axel knew that voice. His heart nearly strangled him when he turned around to see who was paying for his icecream.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Axel asked, rather disturbed to see Demyx in full Organization attire smiling as he took the icecream from the vendor, who now turned his back and started mining nose gold.
Demyx serenely turned to Axel, holding out his icecream for Axel to take hold of them.
"Saving your ass," Demyx replied, smiling. "Didn't I say I'd watch your backs while you had fun?"
"Ya," snapped Axel, looking slightly hysterical "but I wasn't expecting you to join us!"
"I'm not," said Demyx, shrugging lightly. "I just came to give you your munny that you left on your dresser."
Holding both icecreams with one hand, Demyx dug in his pocket and brought out a little violet fabric pouch with a yellow pullstring, a yellow star dangling off it. He smiled at the shock sweeping across Axel's face, letting the redhead snatch it from him and then shove it into his own pocket profusely.
"Oh," Axel looked lame. "So that's where it went." He grabbed the icecreams, eyeing them suspiciously.
Demyx chuckled. "You always lose stuff."
"No, I just don't remember where I put it."
Demyx planted his hands on his hips, quirking an eyebrow. He scolding mockingly with a smirk, "Likely story." He waved his finger at Axel. "Shouldn't you be more careful?"
"Yeah," Axel said simply, walking away from him "but I'm not," He kept walking away from Demyx, never adding anything more with a backhanded wave with an icecream treat.
Demyx straightened up. He had an amused grin pasted over his true concern for the scatter-brained oddball. "You're welcome!" He called over the sound of traffic, as Axel jaywalked across the street, obviously incurring the wrath of some rowdy motorists. His smile wilted.
I sure hope he doesn't do anything stupid. Wait – he's Axel. Of course he'll do something stupid.
Demyx gave an exasperated sigh, scratching his scalp in thought.
You better be a good boy, Roxas. Don't give him any ideas.
Walking away, Demyx chuckled to himself at the thought of Roxas even attempting at being a punk. It would be so pathetic it could melt even a Nobody to pieces. Just imagining it made Demyx's day slightly better, since coming up with legitimate excuses why Axel and Roxas weren't at the castle was a pretty tough job he called "wing it or die."
"Oh, so I'm gone for only a couple of minutes and you're already snoring?" Axel chided somewhere near Roxas' head. "Wow, sure sends me the right message. I think should take some sort of offense right about now."
Slightly at a loss for orientation, Roxas stirred himself awake, sitting up and wincing at the daylight. "Sorry. I must've dozed off," He scooted over, massaging his eyelids with his hand.
"Had any weird dreams?" asked Axel. He took the seat next to him and handed Roxas a Sea-Salt icecream.
"What? No, none I remember," Roxas took hold of his icecream. He looked up at Axel first before giving it a taste. "Thanks…"
The odd man swung his arms behind the bench, his legs spreading casually, slouching forward while licking his icecream. "Don't mention it."
Roxas looked at his icecream treat. It looked like a sky-blue slab of vanilla.
If he's not bothered by it, I shouldn't be…
He took the first experimental lick. He never tasted anything like it before! He jolted, whimpering slightly as his eyes widened.
Axel just happened glance over in time to see the look on the youngster's face. "You don't like it," He said plainly.
"It's…" Roxas timidly looked away from his icecream and into Axel's intense green orbs that scanned into his flesh. "so salty yet… very sweet. I've never had this before. What's it called?"
"Sea-Salt icecream. My favorite," said Axel, affectionately licking his icecream. "You might need to get used to it before you can eat the stuff every day, though."
"Well, it's a once-in-awhile kind of thing, right?" asked Roxas, giving Axel a hopeful glowing smile. "Maybe…if we played hooky more often we could have more icecream…" He gave his icecream an enthusiastic and thoughtful lick.
Axel regarded him with an odd look. "You actually like it? You ain't telling me a fib straight up?"
"Nuh-uh. I really like it, Axel."
"That's funny," Axel made a slurping noise as he gave his icecream a huge lick. "I bought Demyx one and he threw it up like bad guacamole. Larxene told me it tasted like licking a pile of salt, sugar, and dirt all at once, while Zexion told me he ate bars of decorative soap that had more flavor. Makes me wonder about that guy," He paused on that note "But you…You're the first person who actually eats the stuff and–on top of that—likes it. I find that a miracle in itself," Axel said with a jangle.
Roxas started licking his treat with more frequency and enthusiasm, enjoying it with each lick. "Maybe it's one of those either-you-hate-it-or-you-love-it kind of things, too?"
"Maybe," Axel said, his words seemingly drifting away "maybe…"
For a couple of minutes there was nothing but silence and small slurping noises when Axel or Roxas took a big lick.
Many things were pleasuring Roxas all at once. The cold, slippery sweetness of Sea-Salt icecream foamed around his tongue while his taste buds sung hymns of delight. The salty taste braided with the sweet as it slid down his throat in a cool procession, delicious all the way down. It was unlike anything else he'd ever sampled, and he would never forget his first Sea-Salt icecream. Roxas noticed how he cooled down when he caressed the icecream with his eager tongue, sliding it back and forth on the salty sweetness to pool more of the heavenly flavor in his awaiting mouth, almost like eating a beverage. He closed his eyes while relishing every moment he tongued the icecream treat.
Axel gaped at the sight of Roxas making out with his icecream. He watched with interest as Roxas tenderly curled his tongue around the tip of the dairy delight and then glided it down its length, flicking it for extra flavor almost affectionately. Roxas was making a spectacle of himself, as he dove right into his icecream nearly sucking face with it. Axel enjoyed the sight of Roxas sticking the whole icecream in his mouth, leaning back on the bench casually as he suckled and tongue-tangoed.
Axel hardly trusted his voice when he asked, "You're not enjoying that, are you?" He felt slightly breathless as he watched the show, forgetting all about his own Sea-Salt icecream.
Roxas twirled his popsicle around in his mouth a bit and then took it out. A rivulet of blue saliva stretched from his icecream and broke across his chin, leaving a sugary bead of blue on Roxas' lower lip. They quivered slightly.
"Nope, not at all," answered Roxas, giving a smile as sweet as his icecream.
Axel, grinning, tapped at his chin with his finger. "You got a little something on your chin."
"Here?" asked Roxas, feeling the side of his cheek.
"No no, lower."
Roxas poked lower.
"More to the right."
"What, over here?"
Axel clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Here, let me help…" He leaned over, so close Roxas could feel his warm breath. He gingerly took his thumb and wiped away the bead of blue. His eyes glazed as he looked at Roxas in a way he never thought possible.
Roxas forgot to swallow as he watched the sickles of blue in Axel's green eyes glow with mysterious notion. His navel flinched when Axel's eyes narrowed softly, his curvaceous eyelashes adding that gentle air of androgyny Axel unknowingly possessed.
Roxas' lips parted slightly as he felt his throat tighten and dry. His eyes betrayed him as they became half-lidded with impending bliss. What was going on?
Axel's fingers took hold of Roxas' chin, grasping it firmly yet gently, pulling him closer. Roxas' heart pounded wildly in his chest, his skin becoming clammy as Axel's face drew nearer to his. Axel saw Roxas' once intensely brilliant sapphirine eyes had grown dull and hazy as the boy became caught up in the moment. He felt that something in the back of his mind jolt. He parted his lips, the tip of his tongue pressing avidly against his upper lip.
Roxas' pink cheeks had an effulgent rubicundity in the summer heat. Maybe the sun did him good. Axel saw a drop of sweat roll down Roxas' forehead. It twinkled while snagging a ray of light, as though winking at Axel to wish him luck.
Axel tilted his head and closed his eyes. He was seconds away from claiming Roxas' mouth with his own. Roxas had no thoughts, no regrets, no rebellious urge. He felt like he was losing himself to fireball of a man – not the battle, but rather his identity. His will. His name. He caught one last glimpse of Axel's supernaturally vibrant green eyes before Axel's will gave, too. Roxas' breathing returned with a greater intensity. He felt the subtle pulls of cupidity to finally have his cynosure's lips upon his. Closing his eyes, he could feel the inches fading, just melting away with every excruciating nanosecond like liquefying icecream. He felt his trust give with those painful iotas of a second, sensing the decay of distance eagerly pulsating on his lips as they waited for the moment that summed up the equation of his patience. His self-reserve. His loneliness. That void inside.
Axel's lips dithered with nearly insatiable yearning, so strange as it was. The fatal attraction bringing them closer, half-bit by half-bit, was shredding him like a beast. The gravitation pulled them slowly together, today stronger than it had in all the days Axel had been watching Roxas, playing a sneaky guardian angel. Although to Roxas they had only just met, Axel harbored so many secrets that could not be borne at that crucial moment, that most welcoming instance in a beloved past.
Maybe it was the sun getting to his head, maybe he was dying of heat excursion, right now Axel only found awareness in what instinct suggested. His tongue twitched feebly, still moist with the salty sweet of the icecream indulgence that had brought Roxas and him together, so close together…
Yet now he wanted to get closer, close enough to revel in the very same quintessence in Roxas' mouth.
Axel felt his awaiting lips pucker subtly, as impatience began upsetting his nerves. He fought valiantly to control himself, a great battle held fast to the confines of within.
Roxas tried to fill the white space in his mind with lucid reasoning, but nothing came up with the with the fruit of the objective. What was going on? What was going to happen? How was it happening? What lead to it…why? Perhaps it was as Axel said: there is no reason why.
It just is.
Cause and effect. Action and reaction. How and why. Then and now. What is, what isn't. There is a time for everything. Now was not the time for inference and contemplation.
Roxas grew intolerant of the gruesome anticipation for the seemingly inevitable. His mind tried to aroused confusion and fear, but to no avail. Time seemed stilled, all of life nothing but a painting. This moment, so simplistic yet contradicting the very word with fervid silent action, was painted into Roxas' mind with a ballad of the whole color spectrum. Each color, each brushstroke created a nexus of fused emotion and reality into a matrimony of the arts. Every second slugging by was the understatement of eternity itself, feasting upon Roxas' nebulous expectations.
He thought he would burst with the waiting and the torturous wanting. It was a great deal to endure, to crave, but Roxas feared nothing in the end.
Too bad such bravery went wasted when the beauty washed away with a single most unexpected quirk to the playful thing called life.
As Axel at last very softly—barely at all—brushed his lips over Roxas', soliciting a little muffled whimper, there was an abrupt interruption by a sloppy pole of cold wetness that ripped Axel and Roxas from their mindless trance.
Axel tore away his grip on Roxas' chin, gasping at the horror of the freak accident that dripped down his knees.
"Dammit! There goes my new jeans," He got up from the bench at a head-spinning speed. The sugary demon splattered when it landed on the ground. "Now I'm gonna be all sticky," He said bitterly.
Axel's mood fouled.
Not only had one of the most thrilling things to ever happen to him NOT happen to him, his melted Sea-Salt icecream had slipped off the stick and into his lap.
Roxas finally switched back to logic mode as he suddenly found himself perpetually blushing. Axel and him…they really were…
"That's just great—" Axel whined childishly, trying to scrub the mess with his hands and spreading it on to his shirt. "Now I'm all icky-sweet with stupidity's biggest prank," He examined the darker turquoise soaking on his belly in an oval shape. First his eyes were listlessly glaring at the mess, then they were mangos.
Axel sighed in anger. "Come on! Gotta find a bathroom…potty potty potty…Ah-hah! Eureka. Papa, I've struck gold," He muttered before dashing off into the direction of a building over by the entrance of Battlefield Memorial Park. He called behind him, "Don't go anywhere, Roxas. I'll be right back!"
He was gone within seconds.
Roxas was unfazed by Axel's sudden absence as he stared fixedly up at the tree branches above him, eyes spacey, blank and glazed with deep thought. His mouth remained agape while he waited for his inner voice to be found. Still lightly blushing, emotionlessly he stared up at the bright green leaves providing shade overhead.
Absentmindedly he brought his icecream that hung idle at his side to his dry disappointed lips. He blessed himself with a contented lick of the drippy treat, so suffering of the heat like Axel's.
He couldn't stop replaying that scene in his head. It brought something to life in the far regions of Roxas' mind. It was as sweltering hot as the summer heat, but salty and sweet like Axel's favorite treat. Something warm and inviting, but avaricious, dangerous. Comforting and cozy, but alert and cautious. And…and it was…and it was…it was…
Roxas knew he was in trouble when he ran out of words to describe that shadowy something, so hatefully mewling to be assured. To be opened up. Shared. Accepted. Like the truth.
For Roxas, that intangible, wordless something was the truth, hard as it was to make himself believe. It seemed Axel was right; getting someone to believe you, when you tell the truth, is the hardest thing to do. The ironic thing, Roxas wasn't believing he was saying to himself.
Because deep inside he knew that tellers of the truth sometimes lie. But was it a lie?
Was he lying to himself if he stumbled over conclusions, although not proven, and believed them? Was he lying to himself if he failed to identify the awakened something in time? Could he tell himself a lie and believe it, anyway? Could he fool the whole world, protecting that secret something from everybody including himself?
What was there to protect? A thing to help decide what to live and die for? When to cast his line and reel it back, when to buy or steal what he desired? Something… That's all it was for now.
Just his nameless something.
Roxas stuck the whole Sea-Salt icecream in his mouth, letting it sit in his cheeks dissolving away as blue milk down his throat, until he was left chewing the wooden stick. He sighed longingly for a rescue from his deepest thoughts…
A secret something…So secret I don't even know…thought Roxas.
He closed his eyes, seeing the beauty of the past flicker under his eyelids. The light in Axel's eyes, the brief soft touch of their lips against each other's, how he held his chin. It was almost like Axel was still holding onto him, still locked in the pose for the artist painting Roxas' favorite moment.
Roxas considered his priorities, what he wanted to accomplish as goals some time in the future.
I think…I want a similar scenario, but a different ending.
He smiled.
Axel would like that, he thought playfully, wouldn't he?
Roxas found it in himself enough to look over his shoulder slightly, watching Axel happily trudging towards him. He bit his popsicle stick hard, gnawing on it as he watched Axel's emeralds glitter with what looked like hope and joy.
Axel gave a confident smile that said a thousand words.
Of course he would.
--
;I
own nothing but the words and situations I control.
What Axel said
about the truth is similar to conversations in Chain of
Memories.
Alternate clothing inspired by a peice of unrelated fan
art.
I have no beta-reader. Only spell-check. Fear my
typos.
TBC