"How can you fight for them, after all the things they've done to us?" She asked, her voice no longer upset, merely sad.
Angel thought back to one certain day, knowing they had done more to the two of them than Buffy even knew. "Because I have hope that they're fair and just. They have to be Buffy; it's the only hope I have left." Angel bared the deepest part of his soul. "If I didn't believe that someday, somehow, somewhere, that I'd make love to you again, I don't think I'd make it through each day. If I thought that our love was over, I wouldn't fight. But despite everything, they've given me the hope that when I make amends for what I've done I can be with you again. And that's worth any price."
Buffy stared at him silently throughout his whole speech, her eyes continuing to widen and gleam with tears. Unlike all the others she had shed that evening, these were tears of love and joy.
"You're not really fighting for them, are you?" Buffy asked as realization finally dawned on her. "You're fighting for me. For us." The thought was the most humbling she had ever had.
He nodded, taking both of her hands in his. "For us."
Buffy managed another small smile. "If you can fight for us, I think maybe I can too."
He looked at her with amazement in his eyes. "You can?"
"For you? I would do anything." Buffy's smile grew. Despite all the pain and grief still in her at the loss of Dawn, Angel's presence and love brought her a comfort and strength she had been missing for far too long.
"So, you're still the Slayer?"
Buffy nodded her head, leaning up to kiss him softly on the lips. As she did, a vision suddenly went through her. She pulled back in shock, hands rising to clutch her head as a searing pain went through her temples. Angel looked at her in alarm, catching her before she fell off the bed. This was way too much like one of Cordy's visions, he thought grimly.
Did you save the world? Avert an apocalypse?
Buffy saw a blue figure dressed in a toga ask Angel these questions condescendingly.
An image rushed into her mind of just that, an apocalypse. She saw Giles, Willow, and Xander laying dead in the ruins of Sunnydale High, the Hellmouth wide open and spewing it's demons and monsters galore into the world. Without her, they hadn't been able to stop whatever demon had tried once again to open it. She saw people dying by the thousands, and the Old Ones taking over the world, ruling it as they had before man was there.
That image blurred together with that of Angel talking her back into being the Slayer, reminding her that the world needed her.
She then saw a very different outcome of the future; a beautiful world where there were no vampires, no monsters, and no demons. She saw all of her friends, old and happy. Angel and her played on the beach with their grandchildren, the bright sun shining down upon them.
'Angel just fulfilled his destiny.' A voice screamed in her head. It hadn't been saving the world himself, as he seemed to think. It had been being with her and talking her into continuing to fight the good fight, something no one else would have been able to do.
The figure from the beginning of her vision, the blue woman, suddenly appeared. She spoke right to Buffy, speaking what Buffy knew to be the words of the prophecy Wesley had translated. She also knew they mustn't have the whole thing, or Angel would have realized what it meant.
When he fulfills his destiny, bringing about a world that will have no end, the souled vampire will live again. Yet the fallen one's rebirth can come only from inside himself. The Chosen alone can teach the lesson that must be learned. Redemption cannot be attained where no deserving is felt. He alone stands between himself and the sunlight.
"Buffy. BUFFY!"
She suddenly became aware of a very panicked Angel shaking her and calling her name.
"I'm okay." She came back to herself and looked up at him.
"What the hell happened?"
She moved slightly away from him, alarmed at the anger in his voice. Then she realized just how worried he must have been. "I, um, I had a vision. I think it was from TPTB." Buffy reached up and caressed his cheek.
"What did it say?" He was used to Cordy telling him things like this.
Buffy's mind was whirling. She knew if she told him straight out, he wouldn't believe it. Or even if he did, there'd be a slight grain of doubt, and that would ruin everything.
"Basically, that they're glad I'm back." Buffy fudged the truth. That had been what the vision meant in a way, because without her the world would be destroyed. But it had also told her something more.
Angel had already made amends for all he had done, and he had just completed the second to last part of the prophecy by giving her a reason to fight again. Now just one thing was left, but it would undoubtedly be the hardest part for him.
"Angel, something they showed me…I want to ask you something."
"You can ask me anything, ionúin." Angel said as he took her hands again.
"Why don't you think you're worthy of redemption?" She let drop a bombshell, and then watched his face carefully as it exploded.
"Who said I don't…" He trailed off however, knowing she knew his last secret.
"Angel, you're the purest soul I know." Buffy whispered, her hands coming up to cup his face. "If anyone deserves forgiveness, it's you. Especially since you didn't really do anything wrong."
"Didn't do anything wrong?" Angel said bitterly. "You know what I've done, or enough of it anyways to know…"
"I have a twin sister." Buffy spoke softly. Angel looked at her in shock. "She breaks into my house, locks me in my closet, and proceeds to kill every family member of mine that steps into the room. Eventually she widens her targets, cutting a bloody path through half the continent."
It became clear to Angel what Buffy was trying to do, but he still shook his head at her.
"One day, she kills the relative of a witch, and the witch decides to do the worst thing possible to her. She locks her up in the closet, and sets me free. Am I responsible for what she did?" Buffy posed the question, it's answer so obvious he would look stupid if he answered it any way but with a resounding "no."
"In that situation, no you're not, but Buffy…"
"Don't 'but Buffy' me," She said angrily. "Why have I always been the only one who sees that you and Angelus are two different people? Not only can my friends not see it, but you can't see it yourself."
"Buffy, in that nice little situation you just gave me, you weren't there when your 'twin' killed all those thousands of people. You don't remember everything she did."
"You're right." Buffy seemed to relent. "But I have just as much control over her actions as you have over Angelus's." She said firmly.
Angel just stared at her, unable to come back with a retort.
Buffy saw that she was finally getting through to him and continued to press. "Angel, I've seen the good in you. How you risk your life for the people you love. I know how kind, and gentle, and loving you can be when you're with me. Angelus could never be like that. Think of just the things you've told me tonight; would he ever say any of those things? Would he ever hold me while I cried? Would he know just what to say to make me smile on one of the worst days of my life?"
"Buffy…I…"
"I know you remember what he did, Angel. But you also have to remember the fact that you were watching HIM do it. Maybe you felt what he did, maybe you even felt as if you were doing it. But you know in your heart that it wasn't you. Because you know what you're capable of, Angel. And that kind of darkness just isn't a part of you."
"I used to think that, Buffy. Once, long ago. But now…" Angel tried to pull away from her but she held on to him with all her Slayer strength.
"Remember the first time you were in my bedroom?" She asked suddenly.
"Of course."
"We started kissing, and the next thing I knew you were vamped out, and…"
"And I ran away from you. I could hear your heart pumping, the blood whirling faster and faster in your veins. And the demon wanted that blood, that rich, Slayer's blood, but…" Angel broke off.
"But you're stronger than the demon." Buffy finished his sentence this time. "If Angelus ever had me that close and that defenseless, do you think he'd just leave me alive?"
"Well, he could have killed you at least once that I can think of, but…
"No buts, Angel." Buffy brought her face closer to his. "If you don't believe anything else I've tried to tell you, believe that I love you. And do you think I could ever love someone if I thought they had done the things Angelus did?"
"No." Angel said. Buffy waited for him to add something to that, but he didn't.
"So you really believe that nothing Angelus did is your fault?" Buffy held her breath. She'd know if he was lying.
"Like you just said, he did it. Not me." Angel answered in a soft tone, a look of wonder in his eyes. She had the privilege of seeing the years drain away from his eyes, the haunted look leaving them at last. Her angel was free. In more ways than he knew.
Suddenly, Angel's eyes grew even wider. He took her hand, still held firmly in his own, and moved it over his upper chest.
Buffy felt his heart beating beneath her hand and grinned, launching herself into his arms.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou…" She repeated over and over.
"Buffy, what? I mean, how?" Angel stuttered.
Still clinging to him, Buffy repeated the words of the prophecy she had been told by the female Oracle.
"You had to believe you were worthy." Buffy finished her explanation. "Otherwise, they could make you human, but you'd still wonder why they had done it. You'd want to understand exactly what you had done that made your amends, or why there were a set number of things that made you righteous; when the truth of it was that there wasn't a certain thing. They knew there was nothing for you to make amends for, because you didn't do anything wrong. But until you believed that in your heart, you wouldn't have believed them if they had tried to tell you."
Angel still looked at her in amazement, and Buffy slowly turned his head so that he faced the mirror that was opposite her bed. As far as she knew, he hadn't seen his own reflection in over 240 years.
"Now do you see why I fell in love with you?" She teased as she curled up in his arms, their reflection mirroring her every move.
"I see one of about a hundred reasons why I fell in love with you." Angel replied as he picked up a piece of her hair and brought it to his nose. He scented vanilla more strongly than ever, as well as that other scent that was uniquely Buffy.
Buffy melted even closer to him at his words, placing small kisses upon his neck, where her head just happened to be cradled. She worked her way slowly towards his mouth, trailing kisses up jaw and finally to his now hot mouth. It was a totally new sensation, kissing him and feeling heat. When their mouths opened and his tongue trailed lightly over her teeth before meeting and dueling with her own, she thought she would ignite from the inside at the new sensations coursing through her.
Kissing Angel had always been wonderful. Kissing Riley, or Parker, or any other human boy had been nice in a way because they were warm, like her senses all told her they should be, but there was never that spark of true passion that she and Angel had.
Now she had the best of both worlds.
Angel's hands came to rest on the bottom of the white sweater she hadn't bothered to change out of. He pulled away from her slightly, as if asking her permission. The gestured made her melt just as it had the other time he'd done it.
"Make love to me." Buffy whispered against his mouth, melding herself back against him.
Angel kissed her deeply then, both of them reaching and passing the point of no return with no concern whatsoever.
Pulling her up against him, Angel sank lower and buried his face between her breasts, his breath hot against her skin, even through her sweater. His hands were still at her waist, and he pulled away from her long enough to pull her sweater over her head. Her hands reached for him at the same time, ripping the buttons on his black silk shirt in her impatience to get them undone and run her hands over his naked, warm flesh. She finally succeeded in getting the shirt off of him, and was amazed at how much more muscular he was than the last time she had seen him. Her hands ran over the curves of his muscles in a worshiping caress; he was even more beautiful than he had been, which had to be a sin.
Angel's hands reached behind her even as he felt his shirt being ripped away, and he rid her of her bra in one easy yank.
Buffy let out a gasp and then sucked her breath in sharply as the rasp of his palms against her sent tendrils of flame spiraling through her.
Angel made a choked sound in his throat as she touched him in a fashion similar to how he was touching her, and he pulled away from her slightly and gasped for breath.
"Breathing again takes some getting used to." He said ruefully as she continued to run her hands and lips all over his body.
Buffy chuckled slightly, moving her hands towards his belt. His breathing slightly more normal, Angel moved to finish undressing her as well.
In the hours that followed, they learned once again all that there was to know of each other; body, heart and mind; flesh and spirit; soul to soul.
Everything else fell away from them as they joined as one, and there was nothing in the room, in the city, or even on the planet that intruded on their night, a night both of them had been waiting for forever.
The pressure built beyond the ability of either of them to contain it, and they seized each other as they floated on waves of bliss, melding their bodies, at least for a brief moment, as strongly as they had melded their souls.
There's a time for
us
Someday, a time for us
Time to give and with time to
spare
Time to look, time to dare
Somehow, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
We'll find a way of
forgiving
Somewhere
There's a place for us
A time
and place for us
Hold my hand and we're halfway there
Hold
my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow
Someday
Somewhere
from "West Side Story"