Author's Note
On to chapter 2, my darlings! Y'know, I'm really starting to wonder if the Esteemed Maid's real name matters? Guess not. Yay for Xemnas OOC! It's so fun to mess with him. Hm..Only 48 hits? And 2 reviews? I've got to do better -Sigh-
Disclaimer
Boom! Oh, what? Oh! I do not own these people. Someone else owns the Esteemed Maid...Uhm...Rwar.
The Esteemed Maid was nowhere to be found. She was gone and hadn't left behind a trace. The news of the maid missing dismayed Xemnas to the point of no return, that is if he weren't already there, so he just got sent back where he was.
Especially since Axel was the bearer of the bad news, he was extremely wary. Maybe Axel and his cohorts tied up the poor girl and locked her in the closet with Zexion. Or worse! What if they locked her in the closet with...Xigbar?!
That accent would drive her mad! She'd never work for him again! So long - insert Xemnas' weird fantasy of the maid giving him a massage- (o.O)
Xemnas had to save her from emos and fake sufer-dude accents in the Closet of Doom!
"Superior?" non other than Luxord asked, quite concerned. Even in the midst of his thoughts, was he expressive with gestures. It looked as if Xemnas was acting out a play without words. No one stops him when he does this, however.
Not because the Superior would give you a smack in the face if you disturbed him. It's actually very amusing to watch. Who needs television when you've got Xemnas?
"Relax. The woman probably just went home to rest up." Luxord shrugged.
Xemnas refused to accepted Luxord's reasoning, "What? Rest? Why did she go home? She could've stayed here." he retorted.
Luxord shook his head. "Superior, the woman's human. Human's need rest. And even if she didn't, she'd probably go home afterwards because you didn't provide her with any necessities."
"Nece-what?" Now, Xemnas isn't dull-sighted. It just so happens that when you obsess over heart-shaped moons and correcting 11 followers and Larxene, you tend to forget how it felt when you had a heart.
Keeping this in mind, Xemnas calmed down. "You're right, Number X. Maybe she will just come back."
Just as Xemnas said, the maid did come back the next day, bustling around the Castle cleaning. She went into every room and straightened disorganized dressers and drawers and even closets.
It felt a little unusual to the members, as they felt like someone was invading their privacy, but they didn't complain. It was like someone invading your privacy and putting it where you'd always be able to find it.
How did the Esteemed Maid do this? She chatted with every member to judge what they liked. This was also good since she also got to know her clients better and they felt more comfortable with her snooping- I mean invading- Uhm...Cleaning things. Yeah.
As they say, the best things in life are free. This treatment, however, was not free. So, perhaps, all the best things in life cost a hella lot of munny.
The fifth day of work, the Esteemed Maid was becoming quite concerned with her payment at the end of the week. Xemnas hadn't even told her how much he'd pay, but said depended on how hard she worked. And she worked very hard.
Two more days pasted and the maid began slacking on her work. She's half-clean things, which is very annoying.
How you feel if someone half-washed your dishes? You'd have to finish washing it!
One more day passed and she barely touched a thing. She'd simply come, wipe a table or two, chat with the members, and lay on the couch and read a book! Very displeasing.
If one asked her to clean, or simply yelled, "Clean up in room (insert room name here)!" she'd yell back, "Clean it up your damn self!"
Many of the members assumed that she had started her period and didn't bother with it, but Luxord and his observant eye saw the problem hidden within.
The fourth day of overdue payment, Luxord took precious time out of his day to solve the problem. He also had a bet to win, so it would work out for him either way.
"Superior, it has come to my attention that the maid has been acting quite lazy, lately." he stated, straight to the point.
"Yes." this couldn't be good for Xemnas.
"Is it possible that to get this young woman to follow you, you bribed her with munny? And if so, the reason she's not been doing her job is that you failed to pay her the munny you owe?"
Xemnas wanted to slam his head against the wall. "Damn it, I hate when you're right. Yes! So what if I bribed the woman with money? Desperate times call for desperate measures."
"We weren't experiencing any 'desperate times', Superior." Luxord corrected.
"Shut up, I knew that."
"Right... Now, how do you suppose we solve this problem, Superior, if you have not the munny?"
"You pay her." Xemnas spat out quickly.
"W-what?" the fact Xemnas noticed that Luxord had munny flattered him. C'mon, Luxord, you're the Gambler of Fate, you're supposed to always have money, otherwise you wouldn't be a gambler. You'd just be some poor guy with a British accent and a gambling addiction.
"I would pay her, sir, but are you willing to make a bet on it?" Luxord grinned that sneaky grin of his.
Xemnas cocked an eyebrow.
"Are you retarded? I just said you pay her!"
Luxord sighed and muttered under his breath, "No one likes to have fun these days..."
Luxord turned and created a dark portal, "I just hope you know that means you owe me money...bitch..."
Next day...
"Uhm...Maid? ...How are you today...?"
"Oh, just fine, Lexy dear." the Esteemed Maid greeted Lexaeus with a pat on the cheek and a smile. (She had to stand on her toes just to get near his neck, but he kneeled down.) Lexaeus seemed a bit befuddled, but the maid wasn't angry at the world today, so that was clarification enough.
"By the by...Why were you so angry...?" Lexaeus began to stammer. He normally wouldn't be this hesitant, but the maid's anger was something to be feared.
"Financial issues, dear. I just had to withdraw payment from a old friend." the maid smiled mischievously. Without another word, the maid gathered her cleaning supplies and headed off to clean the next room.
And yet again had the maid left another member in shock.
Wait, wait...preview of next chapter
"I'll tell you a story my friend told me. It's about 2nd graders who went on a field trip that got delayed because of a cow in the middle of the road. The poor children had to wait on the bus while the bus driver had to attempt to push the the cow, get the farmer, and wait for the farmer to finally got the cow."
"Couldn't they just have driven around the cow?"
"No. Made too much sense."
"And the moral of this story?"
"Moral? What moral? I was telling you a story."
Yay! This chapter is short, and I really wish it wasn't, but the next chapter will be nice and long for ya! Yeah, still wondering if the maid's still too perfect? The next chapter should change your mind about that, too. I'll have it up shortly. Yesh...Mwuhaha!