Author's Note
Dude, this is so fun to write. Yeah, I had writer's block, but thanks to my younger brothers help, I was able to continue!
Disclaimer
I do not own the Organization...Hurawr...
"Hey, maid, is there anything you can't do?" Roxas decided upon asking one day.
The Esteemed Maid thought about that question for awhile, then simply answered, "Probably."
"What would it involve?"
"You trying to sabotage me, boy?" Okay, so maybe he wasn't, but the maid isn't naive.
"No. I just wanted to know."
The maid narrowed her eyes. And not because she had a toilet to clean and the smell was near drawing tears to her eyes.
"I can't take care of things that don't speak."
Roxas cackled. "Wait, you were serious?"
The maid nodded. "Roxy, boy, there are a million things you shouldn't know about me-"
"Like your age? We took a vote on that yesterday."
"What...?"
"Yeah. Axel, Larxene, and I voted on you being about thirty."
Do I look that old? The maid was quite in shock, as no woman wants to be middle-aged. There's something about not having any children if your middle-aged. Then you rush to your husband and beg him to make a baby, which, freaks him out.
"Then Xaldin, Xigbar, and Marluxia said that you were in your twenties."
That doesn't seem so bad.
"And that you're probably a single mother with five children, which explains why you work here."
"Listen, boy, don't you think you could make me just a wee bit normal." Lord forbid these pitiful explainations.
"Normal? Pft. Nothing's normal here, lady." Roxas said, pointing to Xigbar walking upside down.
"Good point."
As fate would like to interrupt right now, Vexen caming hastily walking down the hall towards Roxas, which is rare. And since it's fate, something is supposed to happen. That's when, poof, the maid is gone and Roxas is left by himself to deal with the old miser.
"Number XIII, have you seen that woman?" he asked, his arms crossed and his foot tapping the floor impatiently.
"Uh...The...Maid?" No, Roxas! Don't tell him! The maid pleaded silently from the other side of the bathroom door.
"No... I'm just waiting for Axel to come out the bathroom. Right!" Now is about the time Roxas would have one of those giant sweatdrops smacked on his head.
"Well, when you see her, tell her I need her to clean some, immediately." God knows why he had to stress that last word. And so, having delievered his message, Vexen scurred down the hall muttering to himself as he's prone to do while very irritated and walking.
There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Is he gone?"
"Yeah."
The maid opened the door fiercely, breathing heavily. "Good lord, what do you Nobodies do in there?!"
"What else do you do in a bathroom? That aside, why'd you hide from Vexen? He couldn't be that b- wait...Yeah he could, but why?"
"You wouldn't understand." the maid stared into space.
"Oh god! You have a crush on the old geser?!" Roxas nearly choked and laughed uncontrollably "I knew you were middle-aged!"
The maid twitched to keep her hand from suddenly grabbing a scrubber and plopping Roxas on the head with it. Children...
"That's like me saying you and that Axel kid have something more than friendship."
Roxas instantly shut up.
"That's what I thought." she grumbled.
The maid sighed. She wasn't particularly comfortable with reliving childhood memories.
"When I was little- actually just three years ago- there was a boy who always bought me ice cream. Well, not just ice cream, anything cold. You know, like snowcones and those nifty frozen poptarts?"
Roxas nodded. This is interesting.
"It just so happens that I had a crush on this guy and now that I think about it, he wasn't...the best looking guy." the maid gazed down a Roxas, who had too much of an interested look.
"Long story short, I have a cold-fetish."
Roxas cackled once more. "Oh, wait. You were serious?"
"Listen, boy. I don't lie about my past. If I didn't have self control (and long hours of therapy), I would be sucking your head up though a vaccum right now. It's taking ever ounce of my being to keep from pouncing on that guy and trying to see if my toungue gets stuck to him!"
'Hm, Vexen as a popsicle?' Roxas thought. No Roxas, don't! "AH! My eyes!"
Roxas gasped for air and twitched. "Middle aged...PEOPLE! Doing IT! AcccccCCCCKKKKKkkkKKKK!!!!!!"
The maid kicked Roxas just for that. "For the last time, I'm not middle aged and I don't have a crush on that guy!"
The maid paused. "I'm gonna need a drink..." she mummbled. But forgetting she had a bathroom to clean, she put on a mask and proceeded to fix that up. Then she'd get a drink...And some Tylenol...
The sad fact for the maid was that no matter how many drinks she had, the problem would remain.
She had only went down to Vexen's basement of a room twice; both of which she nearly fainted because of overjoyment of the cold. And whenever she cleaned, she assured herself that Vexen was much too involved in experiments to notice her.
Gulping down another shot of liquor (that she had for emergencies like this), Xaldin stared in awe, then smirked.
"That's eight. Something really must be bugging you."
"No -bleep- Sherlock." the Esteemed Maid snapped in a half-druken state. She laid her head on the table and stared at a faint object across the room. "I'm gonna feel this in the morning..."
Xaldin burshed the bridge of his nose as he smelled something foul in the air. This meant one of two things:
1. Axel was literately "cooking up trouble"
or 2. Someone had just used the restroom.
Alas, the faint object the maid was staring at happen to be Zexion, who Xaldin turned to with a sly grin on his face. Zexion gazed up from his book reluctantly. Whatever it was Xaldin wanted, it wouldn't turn out well for him in the end. And he couldn't refuse, that is, if he wanted his non-existant life to end by being shish kebabed, he couldn't.
Just as Xaldin presumed, Axel was in deed literately "cooking up trouble". That, and someone had just used the restroom. (Cough) Saix. (Cough)
It was simply a whim, but one that couldn't be ignored for Xemnas. Everyone knows, when Axel decides to prank (or cause trouble) stuff blows up. So, the fact that Vexen was very much peeved that the maid hadn't cleaned up the mess he wished to be cleaned in 4 hours 36 minutes and 11 seconds of him searching for her was because he lived in the basement and, let's face it, no one goes down there. Besides, they were much too eager to see what Axel would cook up. (You know that you have nothing else to do with your non-existant life when you're excited about pyros setting things on fire.)
What brought much anticipation was that Axel's best friend forever, Roxas, wasn't accompanying him. He was no where to be seen. Nor was the Esteemed Maid, Xaldin, or Zexion.
So, let's review, shall we? That was quite a bit of information I gave there. And, truth is, I barely remember what I wrote. (o.O) Anyway, (Ahem)
To get rid of her cleaning Vexen's basement of a room, the maid drank all of her problems away...Resulting in her being drunk and utterly useless as a maid.
Meanwhile, Axel is preparing for something huge for the maid to clean up because he is Axel and, therefore, badass.
The other Organization members (not including Vexen) are eagerly awaiting what Axel will do.
Vexen is pissed that the maid hasn't cleaned up the mess and is seething while counting the seconds on the clock.
The Maid, Xaldin, Roxas, and Zexion are nowhere to be seen. What could this all mean?
Oh, the story about the cow? That was just one of the maid's half-druken stories. Hmm, let's check on the maid.
"Ouch, you know that really tickles..." the Maid giggled while smacking away Roxas' hand.
"I wasn't even touching you."
"Oh, Taco Rico, you're so funny..." the maid spoke slowly, waving her arms in the air.
Roxas blinked. "Who the -bleep- is Taco Rico?"
"You might as well stop talking to her altogether, XIII. I observed what she was drinking...She should be in a drunken state for at least over a day." Zexion stated.
"And you should probably stay away from her," Xaldin appeared from the darkness with his hand behinds his back, pacing the floor. "It's common in the human world that those drunken do odd sexual things without realizing it. I would say that she might jump one of you if she mistakes you for something she wants, but, Roxas, is the bit of information you've given us true?"
"Yup. Told me herself, I'm sure." Roxas nodded and gave a thumbs up sign.
"Alright, Zexion, it's your turn."
Zexion gulped.
Yay! It was about time I got through with it. Luckily, I finished Death Note, so I'm sorta done being obsessed with it. XD But this will we the last chapter I put up this week. Then I'll be gone for the whole weekend. I just wanted to put this up. Hope it was worth the wait.
Please R & R!