The Tale of Two Puppies

By. IJustWannaBeMe and TonksLupin

IJustWannaBeMe: Thank you so much for the reviews! Here is the next chapter as promised.

Disclaimer: TonksLupin and IJustWannaBeMe do NOT own 'Harry Potter' or any characters. They are property of J.K Rowling. They also do not own 'EBay' or they would be rich…which they aren't, so no suing!

Chapter 2

Remus grinned as he walked across the dormitory to where a small blonde boy was busily typing on a laptop. His face was long and pale, his features sharp, with bright blue eyes. White blonde hair fell casually into his eyes, as his face screwed up in concentration.

"Hey Peter," Remus said, causing the younger boy to look up in surprise.

"Hey, Remus," replied Peter, smiling slightly. "What's up?"

Remus merely shrugged. "Nothing much, I was just wondering if I could borrow your laptop quick."

Peter shrugged. "I don't know why not." He handed the black and silver laptop over, moving off of the bed to stretch. "Just don't get caught, ok? It was hard smuggling that thing in here." And with that he walked off with a wave, descending the staircase.

Remus smirked evilly, stretching his long fingers before beginning to type. Sirius poked his head in the room, immediately curious upon seeing Remus on Peter's laptop, and a bit weary. "Hey," he said quietly, slowly walking to the bed and perching just behind Remus. 'What'cha doing?"

The brunette merely smirked, sweeping brown bangs from his eyes before typing once more. "Selling you on EBay."

At once Sirius started to crack up with laughter. He managed to fall of the bed, tears rolling down his cheeks, and his chest shaking violently. After a moment he paused to wipe his eyes and stare up at his friend, humor still evident on his face. "Right."

"No really," Remus insisted with a smile. "See? People are already bidding." He moved aside to allow Sirius easier access and the raven haired boy read:

Sirius Orion Black

A 15 year old unregistered animagus

Scruffy, not good with kids, not guaranteed free of rabies

One mean breeding machine, although selfish and greedy (Baby results may vary)

Bidding has started at: 60 galleons

Moonbeam has bidded: 100 galleons

PerfectPrince has bidded: 212 galleons

Moonbeam has bidded: 300 galleons

Sirius's mouth hung agape in shock as he gazed at the screen. "Oh fuck."

Remus gave him a smirk, putting the laptop down with a yawn. "I'm going to go take a nap, full moon tonight, you know." And with that Remus exited the dorm, quickly descending the steps, before curling up in a chair by the fire.

Sirius narrowed his crystal eyes, grabbing the laptop and slamming it down on his lap. His slim fingers skimmed the black keys expertly, as a new post popped up.

Remus John Lupin

A 15 year old werewolf

Ugly, mean, hairy

Small, brunette, weak, and bony

Comes with a free How to Care, Feed, and Breed Werewolf book

Bidding starts at: 70 galleons

Sirius smiled finally satisfied, as he waited for the results. Not more than two minutes later bidders started popping up on the screen.

This-is-not-the-ministry-of-magic has bidded: 100 galleons

PerfectPrince has bidded:101 galleons

Woolensocks has bidded: 250 galleons

Sirius chuckled darkly, his soft melodic voice calling down the stairs. "Moony."

Remus sighed; angrily kicking off the soft red blanket he had been using and trotted up the stairs. "What?" he muttered irritably.

Sirius merely pointed to the screen and with each sentence Remus' jaw hung lower and lower. "SHIT!"
Sirius barked with laughter as Remus angrily pushed him aside, his small fingers moving across the keys rapidly. "Wait a minute," the small brunette stopped, turning to peer at Sirius. "A How to book on werewolves? Come on, no one's stupid enough to write that, let alone get close enough to a werewolf to write it."

Sirius shook with silent laughter. "You want to see it?"

Remus sighed before holding out his hand. "Give it to me, please."

Sirius grinned, pulling from the pocket of his robes a small book, no bigger than the palm of your hand.

The How to guide to Werewolves
Includes: Breeding, feeding, and caring

By. S. Black

"I'm scared already," Remus replied, hesitantly slipping a finger between one of the leafy pages and turning it.

Chapter 1
How to breed your werewolf

Breeding werewolves is fairly simple, despite what others have said. Please follow the basic step by step directions below to ensure healthy pups.

Step 1: Find a female wolf for the male werewolf or male wolf for the female werewolf.

Step 2: Put them in a room for a few days having them share food and whatnot.

Step 3: Once they have warmed up to each other-

Remus abruptly stopped reading, jerking his amber eyes up to meet silver. "You wrote this,' he stated quietly.

Sirius looked quite offended. "Did not," he replied.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sirius, of course you wrote this! It says S. Black on it for Merlin's sake!"

Sirius knitted his brows together in deep thought. "How do you know its not another person in my family? There have been two others besides me."

Remus sighed in exasperation. "You prat, did you bother reading the rest of the cover?" Sirius looked at his friend in confusion and Moony sighed, pressing the book into his hands and pointing to the cover.

The How to guide to Werewolves
Includes: Breeding, feeding, and caring

By. S. Black

(This is NOT Sirius, so don't sue)

Sirius cursed. "Damnit! I told James not to mess with anything! The good for nothing son of a-"

Remus interrupted him with a smirk. "No matter," he replied, switching from Sirius's page to his own. He read the highest bidder, being "Moonbeam" and clicked the large SELL button on the bottom of the page.

Sirius stared in complete horror before turning to Remus, a murderous gleam in his eye. "You prat! You just sold me on EBay!"

Remus smirked at him. "That's the general idea," And with that the small lycan rose, turning off the computer and laying it gently on Peter's bed, Sirius watching his every move with shock written on his face.

But Remus paid him no mind and at once he was moving down the stairs, the soft murmur of their fellow Marauders voices ringing in his ears as he stepped down from the last step.

"I'm telling you Peter, red and orange does not make purple. And Professor Slughorn won't accept an essay that's two sentences long."

Peter looked up at James from his position on the floor and scowled. "Professor McGonagall accepted yours last Wednesday on how to change a clock into a flying pig," He shot back.

James only sighed, running a hand through his already tousled locks. "That's cause mine was 2 feet of parchment!" He didn't mention the part where Remus had actually written the essay and he had copied it.

Peter merely scowled again before going back to his work. James shook his head slightly before noticing Remus by the foot of the stairs. "Hey there, Moony," he said with a grin. "Where's Siri?"

Remus smiled. "Brooding."

James cocked an eyebrow at this but shrugged. At that moment the large clock in the common room signaled it was officially 6 that evening. They had an hour before dinner would be served.