Author's Note: Hey all. Um...actually, the notes about the story are at the end of the chapter. I really just wanted to say thank you to everyone who either reviews or keeps up with this story, because I have a good idea of what you're all going through with such a lousy updater for an author. And special thanks to Veggiefan2k4 for leaving an awesome review that really made me smile during a very, very, very bad week.

Disclaimer: If I owned Outlaw Star and its characters, Melfina would end up with Harry and Fred would have done Gene looooong ago, and then I wouldn't have to waste my time getting them together this late in the game. Srsly.

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Our Distance and That Person

It is in the nature of humans to give and receive pain. It is also in their nature to allow their emotions, the byproducts of the presence and absence of pain, to dictate their actions. Just the same they are fascinated by those that share in these natural inclinations – even to the end of creating them with their own bruised hands.

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I thought I had come so far. I mean, I know I've come a long way – the me of today is a far cry from what I once was. I thought that since I had already lost myself in the highest of all human feelings that there was little else for me to experience.

When a computer is given a whole number to work with, the infinite combinations of other numbers that can be used to reach it are simply implied as a given. I suppose the same can't be said for emotions.

What was that word they always used for me… naïve? Is that a feeling?

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Luo-san is talking to Jim about the port we are about to leave. Jim seems to be at ease, at least more so than he used to be around that man. I asked Jim once about why he would get so uneasy around Luo-san, but he just said something about him being 'one of those'. I still don't really understand what that means, but I've never seen anything to indicate he was defective, so I never said anything more about it.

I didn't mind having him come aboard; I had never minded him at all. He was always polite to even me, who knew (and still knows) so little about the universe. To me, who once held all the possibilities and answers in the universe and gave them all up for a human emotion. Or was it a human whim? How do humans ever tell the difference?

I still don't mind the extra crew member. Even now, watching him smile with Jim, I see nothing to incite negative feelings towards him. He doesn't make me afraid or confused, like Harry did. He doesn't make me sad like Gene sometimes does. And he certainly doesn't make me feel unsafe.

I can hear Gene's heavy boots on the floor outside the room, and I can feel my heart go a few calculated beats faster. I can't tell if it's from the sudden noise or the knowledge that Gene is coming, but I do know that this is my usual reaction for both of these occurrences.

I welcome him back from his outing, and tell him that now all of the crew is present and accounted for so we can leave whenever he likes. 'Thanks, Mel,' he says along with one of his half-smiles, and I can feel what I now recognize as pride welling up for getting the reaction. I smile back, as usual.

'Gene!' Luo-san says from his spot by Jim. He sounds almost as though he's admonishing Gene. 'Did you get it?'

'Yeah, yeah, I got your little trinket,' Gene answers. He furrows his brows as he tosses a small package to Luo-san, but I don't see any true ill will in the action. A fake emotional reaction?

Luo-san catches the package and clutches it to his chest as though it is precious. 'A trinket? This so-called trinket could very well save your life someday!' He sounds affronted.

'What is it?' Jim asks.

'A con, that's all,' Gene says. This time he sounds honestly upset.

'Really, Gene, look who you're talking to. You think I wouldn't know a con when I saw one? This is from a long-trusted vendor, I'll have you know.'

'He looked like a sleaze ball to me,' Gene replies.

'You should listen to him, Fred,' Jim says, grinning. 'Aniki's taught the best of the worst sleaze balls all he knows.'

Gene glares and strikes Jim over the head after his comment, and I feel my usual laughter at their antics bubbling up. I start to cover my mouth out of courtesy, when Luo-san's voice cuts through Jim's protestations.

'Really, James, don't you think I have better taste than to fall for a sleaze ball? I ought to smack you too!'

'Eh?! B-but Fred – ouch…'

'Fred, knock it off.'

'But Gene, I was only defending your honour!'

'…I don't need my honour defended by anyone, especially not by you!'

'It's okay, Gene, you don't have to be embarrassed. I just can't stand having my tastes criticized by amateurs in any field.'

'Ewww, as if I'd want to be an expert in man-hunting–ow! Aniki, make him stop!'

I don't really understand where the conversation is going. While I automatically compare my information on experts in the field of hunting to man in general to try to get an idea, I notice something unusual. I am watching Gene, or rather I am unable to look away from him. Sometimes my body reacts before my mind registers what's going on, and for some reason my eyes have focused on Gene's face, while that typical laughter of mine dies before it can escape my mouth. Then my mind catches up with my eyes, and I see why.

Gene is blushing.

I have thousands of shades of red logged into my mainframe. It is not an unusual thing to see one of those in Gene's face, and to see which shade shows for which emotion. I have seen anger, rage, embarrassment, confidence, pain, frustration, and all forms of bravado in his face, but this is an entirely different shade. I feel like I've seen it before. Quickly, I begin scanning through previous applications of this colour.

'Look, can we drop this and get the hell out of this lousy space port already?' I hear Gene's voice, muted by my frantic scanning. 'Gilliam, when are we clear?'

'The control tower has cleared us for takeoff in eleven minutes. As soon as Melfina takes her place in the navigation controls I can prepare for our departure.' Gilliam always sounds so calm.

'Great! Mel, you ready?' Gene turns to me, and all I see are the traces of the alien red on his face. And in the face of it, I suddenly place where I have seen it before.

It was the flustered man in a park area on Symka 5. He was kneeling before a young woman, holding her hand gently but nervously with one of his own, and worrying a small black box behind his back with the other. He had looked anxious until he presented the woman with the box, opening it to reveal a simple ring with a tiny, glittering stone set in the band. I had watched her nod several times, and then smile one of the brightest I have ever logged into my memory. She had thrown her arms around the man, and he got to his feet and kissed her quickly before returning the embrace. They had inadvertently turned a bit, and I had seen the man's face. It was flushed with…

…Pleasure?

Yes. That was what it had been. That is what is struggling to fade from Gene's face. But I don't understand what the pleasure is from. Based on past encounters with Luo-san, even or especially with Jim there, this kind of situation should have coloured Gene's face with anger and embarrassment. Maybe there was some embarrassment there too, but… pleasure?

'Um, Mel? Did you hear me?'

I blink at Gene's question. I tell him yes, I did hear him.

'Oh…okay, just…making sure. You alright?'

I'm fine, thank you.

'So… we'll be ready for takeoff soon?'

Yes.

My eyes switch over to Luo-san for a moment, and in that moment a deep and steady burning settles in the pit of my stomach. It is unfamiliar and overwhelming, and I take an unconscious step back. What is this feeling? It's almost like anger, but somehow it seems a bit more… dangerous.

I turn away from them all and make my way to my navigation control chamber. I can imagine them staring as I go, and I wonder if this is what humans mean when they say they can feel someone's eyes boring holes into their backs. I don't feel anything, though, and prepare for takeoff.

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Silence followed Melfina's exit – for about two seconds, anyway.

"What was that?" Gene mutters into Jim's ear, looking put out.

Jim shook his head and said nothing, but couldn't help sneaking a guilty look at Fred out of the corner of his eye. Even to a young boy whose life revolved around electronic interactions rather than human ones, the look in those dark grey eyes was clearly readable.

'I am sorry,' Fred thought, turning his eyes back to a disgruntled head of red hair. 'But I was here first.'


Author's Note II: I got so used to having the ANs at the beginning, but I don't want to give crap away before you all read it. Anyway. I've never written Melfina before, but she seems to me like someone who would absolutely analyze everything she didn't understand, even if it was something that made her uncomfortable. And she is very much like any human when they're growing up, especially when it comes to love. She has loved, as one must do before one can experience loss. And let's face it, she is the obstacle in this series, which is clearly labeled Fred/Gene.

Also, Gene is pleased because Fred is defending his character. It doesn't seem likely that many people have ever done that for him, so I think that somewhere under all that bravado he really would be happy to experience it. Melfina doesn't understand any of this, so that much was hard for me to get across... I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. At least it's short. I'm more eager to get back to our boys rather than all this obligatory hurdle jumping.