Disclaimer: you all know it's Rowling's
"Who is it?"
"Harry."
Lupin looked at Sirius, who nodded. "Come in, Harry." To Sirius, he asked, "Should he have been able to hear us?"
Sirius nodded. "There are particular pass-words."
The door opened, but Harry did not enter. He stood awkwardly, clutching his lit wand. Little lines of light reflected off his glasses lenses. "Um… Sirius… are you and Lupin, er… are you two, you know, going together?"
This stammered question caused Lupin and Sirius to realize that they remained loosely in one another's arms. They shifted apart. "It's nothing like that, Harry," Lupin said.
"I don't mind," Harry said, obviously unconvinced and uncomfortable. "I mean, it's your choice, isn't it?"
"Harry," Lupin said, in an awful authority-figure tone that allowed no patience, "did you want something?"
Harry blushed. "No."
By this time, Sirius had had enough. He pushed himself into a sitting position, grabbed his wand, and muttered, "Lumos maxima." There was no result. "Lumos maxima," he insisted. On his third try, he gave up. "Listen, Harry, Remus and I are friends. We do not shag. In fact, you might notice that we're both fully dressed."
"Look, it doesn't matter," Harry insisted.
For the first time, Sirius lost his temper with Harry. "Bloody Merlin, Harry, we don't! He's in my room because he looks after me when I've had awful nightmares, all right?"
Harry seemed to accept this. "I didn't know you had nightmares, Sirius," he muttered.
Realization smashed Lupin and Sirius at the same moment like two hammers to the temples. "Sort of like you have nightmares, Harry?" Lupin asked. Harry pushed his glasses up on his nose and nodded, staring at the floor. Sirius and Lupin exchanged looks, both painfully aware that Harry had heard that a child went to his parents for comfort after a nightmare, but he had never had the chance to do so himself.
"Harry," Sirius said, "come here." He was guessing. It had always been Lupin who comforted him, which was precisely what good friends did. Harry, however, was far more self-sufficient than Sirius. He was awake and quiet. Nevertheless, when Harry stood before him, Sirius guessed correctly and, somewhat awkwardly, hugged him. "Sorry, mate." Harry nodded, speechless, and clung to Sirius until both began to feel self-conscious and drew apart.
"Sorry-- shall I leave you?" Lupin asked.
"'S'o.k. f'you wanna stay," Harry muttered. Something in being treated with compassion had reverted him to the child who had never been given that luxury. "What do you dream about, Sirius?"
"Me, I dream about my mum. More memories than dreams. She used to curse me when I misbehaved."
"Curse you?" Harry asked in disbelief, as Lupin shot Sirius warning looks. "You mean, things like shrinking all your socks?"
"Er… Something like that, at first. Things like making me think I was eating rats. Of course, I've done that now and I can tell you, it's not all that miserable." Harry laughed weakly at this, and Lupin breathed easier. It was better that Sirius left unsaid the worst of his memories. "Then I started hating her and shouting things about befriending Muggle-borns, just plain open defiance… d'you know what the cruciatus curse is, Harry?" This time Harry was gazing in shock at Sirius, his mouth gaping like a fish's. "That's what I remember when I sleep. My dear old mum, pointing her wand right at me and not saying a damn word. What do you dream?"
"Y-your mum…?"
"You didn't have to tell him this," Lupin hissed. "Harry, Mrs. Black was… she had funny ideas. She wasn't like your mum. In the wizarding world, that curse is illegal, you know that."
But Harry wasn't listening. He threw his arms around Sirius as though he could make up for years of abuse and said, "Sirius, I don't need to go back to Hogwarts. I'll stay here with you. You're really clever, you can tell me everything, teach me what I need to know, and you won't have to be alone anymore. School's not so important--"
"Harry, you are going back to Hogwarts," Sirius stated firmly. In spite of everything, Lupin found himself smiling, feeling really proud again.
to be continued!
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