Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, this all belongs to JK Rowling..
Author's Notes: This is slash, if you don't like don't read. Flamer's aren't welcome, if you do decide to flame, I'll just laugh at you. Please review!
Rating: I'm putting M. Just to be safe.
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"So…could you run the whole thing past me again?" An apprehensive Harry asked his 'boss', Rita Skeeter, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his black turtleneck sweater that clung over his baggy pants. Skeeter wasn't really his boss, but she was such a large part of the Daily Prophet that it sort of made sense if she were the one that had to be answered to, although there were many more people much more qualified for the job.
"Well, Harry darling, the plan is simple." Rita peered at him over the top of her glasses, in what she hoped would seem reassuring, hiding the way the wheels of her brain were turning at that very minute. "All you have to do is make Draco Malfoy fall in love with you, until he wants to… how do you put this in a less crude fashion… well until he wants to hump you senseless twenty four hours a day, if you catch my drift."
Harry's face took up in flames, "Erm… I thought Hermione was just kidding when she said I might er… get… you know, get laid." Harry couldn't quite meet the eyes of his supervisor. He was by no means a blushing virgin, yet still was this the appropriate way to speak to your superior? Also, imagine a complete and total stranger humping him! And more! Never mind that Draco is definitely a walking wet dream… and of course he's crossed Harry's mind once or twice in those private moments at night but his manager didn't need to know that much.
"Well, that really depends on the young Malfoy," Rita mused the thought over, "But it'd really be more convincing, and you want him to be really crazy over you. Like banging head over heels in love, then he'll really open up and you'll get the full cosy article. Besides you could include a little of Malfoy's sexual experience, while getting a front row seat of it. Just find out what you can about him, he's number one on the music charts, and yet he refuses to cooperate and sit an interview, so it's time for something drastic."
"But- but how do I actually meet him?" A desperate and confused Harry asked, seeing gaping holes in this plan. "How do you know this will actually work? You can't make someone fall in love with someone? Or make someone feel attracted to someone else! And why me? This is not my usual forte."
"Don't be silly, my love, it's not that complicated. We picked you because you'll make the perfect boytoy, you'll seduce the pants off of Draco… multiple times! You'll be given a schedule of places to be, you'll pop up more in Draco's life… just charm, understand love? If not with your smooth talking, then your looks, or your kindness! You have plenty of those. Now remember, lots of cuddling and smooching with our lovely sex on a stick all right? It'll make him feel closer to you. By the way, rumours are he's a top, hasn't been with a guy for sometime but can be quite kinky, and apparently is excellent in bed. Don't worry it's all in the research on your desk. I've also asked Ms. Granger to accompany you straight away to the nearest shopping mall, Diagon Alley I believe, for some sexier clothes. You have such a nice body, why you choose to hide it behind all those baggy clothes, I have no idea. Now go have a good time! Ta ta love!" Winking, Rita slapped his bum affectionately, as she showed him to the door.
Laughing, Rita shooed Harry out before he could stress his concern for whether or not it was wrong to dive into someone's life, make them fall in love with you, have sex with them, write an article about all the secrets they don't want divulged, expose them to the world, and then take off and leave…
But as soon as he was hustled out of the office, Harry almost crashed into an eager, bouncing Hermione; well mostly he almost crashed into her hair, which broke his train of thought.
"Well? Well? Well?" The bouncing hair said, "What did that beetle want?" Hermione's true feelings for Rita Skeeter weren't exactly subtle; the beetle remark was just a reference to her bug-like glasses.
"Well…" Harry said slowly, "Apparently, I'm gonna get laid… multiple times! I cannot believe my employer has just assigned me be a prostitute! I'm worse than a prostitute! I'm a…I'm an evil prostitute, oh Merlin's beard, I have no shame!"
"Harry! Don't be ridiculous! Now we need to get you to a lingerie shop." Hermione insisted, tugging on Harry's sleeves. "And theses rags have got to go, Merlin knows I'm been trying to get you to burn them, and now I finally have a good enough excuse. If you're gonna be shagging a hottie like Malfoy on a daily basic, you've got to look and smell your best. We need to stop by a cologne shop… oh! And we need to head towards the library, if there's anything on seducing a stranger; it's got to be there."
Lost, Harry followed Hermione out of the building, "Hermione, Hermione, I think you should snap out of your phrase, and get a man. You're focusing your unspent energy on…being crazy…"
"Shut up Harry, and start marching your hiney!" Ordered Hermione. Needless to say, Harry followed his direct commands, pausing only to mutter a small, "Crazy woman, and her crazy hormones…"
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"Well, what about that bloke?" Draco pointed at a short, hairy man, with a large rear end. Ron conveyed his disgust in a single murderous look. "What? He has certain… appealing qualities…"
This caused Ron to snort in laughter, "Yes, like a fat arse."
"He has a bubble butt. There's a difference, you know that right?" Draco said defensively.
They were now sitting in a cafe, Draco and Ron both in hats and sunglasses, quiety checking out potential boyfriends for Draco. In front of them were two untouched drinks that hid them both just a little bit more. The cafe was very crowded, and although Draco cared who would be pretending to be his boyfriend, he didn't exactly believe their plan was fail safe. Even if he did find someone, was he just suppose to spring this onto this unexpected someone, and force them to cooperate? What if he did manage to find someone, and he announces that they are a couple, and it turns out he can't stand this person for an hour, let alone a month?
"Look, this is a person that has got to stick around you for at least a month or so, and during this month, you've got to at the very least hold his hand, and kiss this imaginary boyfriend once in a while for the cameras. It's got to be someone who you are actually attracted to, for Merlin's sake, Draco, you are a sex symbol, you conceited poof!" Ron said this as if it were common knowledge. And of course, Draco was not completely unaware of his looks, and his effect on the young population, but of course there is more to that. He would like to actually be able to talk to this person, not just walk side by side once in a while for a bumper sticker.
"Eugh, this is just so confusing. Can't I just give up and deal with the cursed reporters?" Drake sighed, standing up, and pulling off his sunglasses, and hat. "It's too mind-boggling to have to make something up, and decided who I'm attracted to, but you like as well… it's much easier to just…growl and snap at curious people who ask too many questions." Shaking his head, he walked out of the door. Unaware of the glances people were throwing his way, and the murmurs of 'it's Draco Malfoy. Yes it's him! The singer!'
"Draco Malfoy!" Yelled Ron, but Draco had already disappeared from sight. Resigned, Ron pulled out his wallet, muttering, "Git… sticking me with the bill… you'd think being a star, he's have some money to spare…" However, while Ron was ranting, people were exiting the cafe, and following the direction Draco had left in.
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"Hermione! Really! Is that necessary?!" Harry yelled, ignorant of the other customers as Hermione picked out a black and green… throng…there was no other word for it. It was a tiny little pair of ladies' panties. Hermione smirked in obvious pleasure.
"Of course it is, I mean, knowing you, you probably have a bunch of knee length cotton boxers that are Merlin knows how old. Do you want an international star to see your dirty underwear?" Hermione demanded to know.
"Well, no I suppose not-" Harry admitted reluctantly.
"And do you want Draco to be ripping off your Granny pants in the heat of the moment? Rather than him ripping off your new sexy black and green thong with his teeth?" Hermione asked ferociously.
"Calm down woman! He will not be ripping off anything with his teeth! And I don't wear granny pants!" Harry blushed at the thought of anyone ripping his underwear off with their teeth. However, Hermione was not listening anymore, she was already moving on to leather pants, and Harry hurried along after her to prevent that crazy woman from doing anything too drastic.
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At this point, Draco was running away from a crowd behind him, steams of questions were after him, and the chanting of his name was following enthusiastically.
"DRACO! DRACO MALFOY! WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?"
"WHAT UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING NOW?!"
"DRACO! SIGN MY BRA!"
"DRACO! OH MY GOD! IT'S DRACO MALFOY!"
Ron was nowhere in sight, as Draco took a turn that he believed was near his house, momentarily losing the crowd behind. There was no one around in the alleyway except one man. The moonlight wasn't strong, and Draco wasn't exactly in his right mind, as he ran towards the man. Perhaps to ask him for help, or hide him, but maybe it was from the fatigue, however, when he saw the leather pants, and smelled that cologne, he just lost his head.
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Harry was walking along home alone; he had already dropped Hermione off, who took most of today's worth of shopping home with her. He was jerking along, partly from the exhaustion, partly from the stress, but mostly because he was wearing a thin black thong under his new brown leather pants, courtesy of our very own Hermione Granger, apparently to get use to it.
He was just grumbling when all of a sudden someone knocked into him, and before he could mouth, "What the hell-?" a pair of lips were on his own, and a hard, hot body pinned him to an alleyway wall.
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Luv EmAngel xxx
AN: Kiss scene! It'll be in more detail in the next chapter. I hope you like it.
PLEASE review!