Sun's Height 6, 4E1

(Fights-up-close): Abandoned House

I was absolutely ecstatic that I would be able to tell Mr. Lachance this good news. I opened the door into a dark Cheydinhal night. Even though no one was out, it seemed to be filled with a sort of life I could truly relish in. I stepped out, taking in cool night air and chirps of crickets.

"Why has the Cheydinhal sanctuary not been purified?" A voice to my left startled me. I knew soon enough who it was, it was Lachance, but I still hadn't fully recovered from the unpleasant sensation of the scare "Everyone based out of that location must die." I turned to face the voice, but saw no one. "Only then will the Black Hand be satisfied." Suddenly I could feel the happiness lose its purity, then quickly fade. No, it couldn't be, he must not know I found the traitor. I darted my head left and right to see if I could locate him, but I couldn't. He was hiding somewhere, maybe even using the Shadow power. I knew I looked like a fool.

"M'raaj-Dar was the traitor. The issue is taken care of. He's dead." I said. Other than the chirping crickets, there was nothing but cold silence for a few seconds.

"Have you gone mad?" He finally replied, digging into every word "The very existence of the Dark brotherhood is at stake and you take matters into your own hands!?" At once I felt horribly crushed. There was another short pause, allowing the impact of the words to take a brutal toll on me. "I speak for the Night Mother. You will follow my directives." he said, his voice resuming relative calmness only briefly

No, this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I grew frustrated as no words came to me, yet I knew vehemently, on some instinctual level, he was asking something absurd of me. "Make haste!" He commanded "The sanctuary must be purified if this treachery is to be undone!" The words made me feel every bad emotion I'd ever known, yet I could think of no way to counter them. He had indeed ordered everyone die. He was my superior. I stood for a few seconds in stunned silence, calculating, reflecting, recalling, trying to find some words to protest with. I dreaded the next sentence that might come out of his mouth, yet there was naught but silence for too long.

I let my thoughts flow boundlessly as I tried to detect exactly where he was. I got no readings. He had already left, and I had never even heard him.

I looked back at the Cheyindhal sanctuary. I could feel an ache in my throat. I knew I was holding back tears, yet I refused to acknowledge my pain. At once I felt so lonely. They would all die, and Mr. Lachance, who had been like a father to me, had order me to kill them. I finally thought I might have avoided another tragedy. I was wrong. By now I'd forgotten why I came out in the first place.

There had to be some way around this. I took a step towards the house, but it turned into a stumble. I was unable to think clearly. Trying to think only caused questions to pummel me from every side, and when I found answers, they were all grim. That's all that the future presented. Reason to worry. The situation put a solid barrier infront of any happy thoughts.

I was being asked to kill innocent family members. Even if it was for the good of the Dark Brotherhood, the idea seemed dizzying. No matter how I tried to think about it. When I turned one way, there was the idea of killing them all; my only true friends, when I turned the other way, there was the idea of betrayal, when my trust in my superiors had been as real as the ground beneath me. I just couldn't face it. The war in my head continued to rage.

If Lachance wants to kill your family, let him do it himself. Let him get through us all. I was shocked by the thought that came to my head. Purely disloyal! No, I couldn't disobey orders. But killing the whole sanctuary when I was positive I'd already killed the traitor...was that loyalty?

I felt horribly incapable of thinking at the moment. Everything I knew seemed to be destroying itself.

I finally made the decision to step towards the house, but again I stumbled.

I tried to gather my thoughts, but they just formed pain that saddened or infuriated me. I didn't know if I'd ever enjoy myself again.

I looked over at the house. My first thought was solidly that I wouldn't do it. Then I came to my senses. No, I had to do it, my superiors knew better than me.

At once I felt afraid. Treachery was right beneath me. I was right on its threshold. It might take only a moment of weakness to fall entirely.

I couldn't even begin to plan how to kill them. But every second I stood there, I was disobeying my superiors when I could decide to get started. But what did getting started even mean? Figuring out how to back stab my family members wasn't something I was used to planning.