Sun's Height 8, 4E1

(Fights-up-close): Near Applewatch

The sun setting over the Jeralls would probably have been a pretty site under most circumstances, but now everything about the world just seemed deformed and ugly, a monument to the horrors it contained. Its forces seemed to be working against me constantly. I was alone now, and constantly burdened with uncertainty. I was trapped in pain.

As I rode closer to the farm I could see movement. Someone was working in the fields. Her life was probably flowing whimsickly along, whether or not she took time to realize it, while I had all this pain to contend with. I had indeed proved myself to Sithis. I was suffering in his name, in a pure and undeniable state. Every second of life just seemed like dragging a weight with all the heavy thoughts inside of me.

It became clear that the figure had long, gray hair. I was almost certain that was her. I rehearsed my story in my head as I walked. I always seemed to find a riskless way to handle these type of things, and this was no exception. The Imperial Genealogy Department was the name I'd invented, tracking a rare genetic disorder for the Council of Healers. It sounded plausible enough. This time, however, I didn't feel satisfied about it. Just one more check mark to put on Sithis' agenda, instead of mine.

I was getting ever closer. You can just disappear into the woods right now and forget your life here. The idea came to me, feeling as real as any other. No! I repremanded myself. My thoughts were flowing too freely ever since the Purification.

Now I was close enough. I dismounted from my horse, letting my feet make as much noise as possible as they hit the ground to make her turn from work. She jerked slightly, as if startled, and then turned to me, dropping the tool she was using, and giving me a look of hazy confusion. She was approaching me with a hint of cautiousness.

"Oh, hello there. " she said "I'm sorry, you startled me. I'm afraid my nerves get rattled rather easily these days. Living alone will do that to you." I knew her words were true. For a second I wondered if that wasn't the only way we could relate. "Now, is there something I can help you with?" Oddly, it felt a bit harder to ask than I expected. She seemed kind enough. I had to push the words out.

"I need to find your children." I said, relieved when the words finally made their way out.

"My children? Whatever for?"

"I'm with the Im..." I began

"Oh, oh dear. Please excuse an old woman's stupidity." She said with a hint of chuckling in her voice "You're here to pick up my gift list!" Her voice was rich with enthusiasm. "Using your gift service was the smartest thing I've ever done! My children are scattered all across Cyrodiil, and its so hard to shop for them all!" She fished through her pocket, finally removing a crumpled piece of paper, then politely flattening it as much as she could, and handing it to me. "Here's a list of all my precious little ones, although I daresay they're not so little anymore." She chuckled "They grow up so fast, I swear!" Already warm and friendly. I glanced down at the list "The list shows each child's location and some suggestions for gifts. Oh, and here's the gold I'm supposed to give you." I looked up to see a bag in her hand. I grabbed the top, and, as I expected, it was heavy for its size. "Thanks again. My children are so dear to me and I'd really like you to get them something special!"

I looked down at the list. I was already feeling a strong reluctance to kill her, and this certainly was a welcomed excuse to delay:

Dear courier,

I would like to thank you again for agreeing to assist me. I was so delighted when a friend recommended you, and will certainly employ your services again in the future if everything goes well with this round of purchases. You can imagine how difficult it is for an old woman such as myself to get around. My children, darlings that they are, deserve the best, and I'm afraid I haven't been able to properly show my love and appreciation for them in quite a few years. But all that is behind me now! Here is the list of gifts I think my family would most enjoy, as well each child's current place of residence, which should be used to for delivery.

Matthias -- Talos Plaza District, Imperial City (he has a home there): Matthias always was a rough and tumble lad. The last I'd heard, he'd fallen in with some pretty tough characters there in the Imperial City. I'd feel so much better if I knew he was well protected, so I'd like for you to find him a nice cuirass. Nothing too light -- iron or steel should be fine. And, if possible, I'd like it engraved with "To my Dear Matty, I'll always be here to protect you, love Mum."

Andreas -- The Drunken Dragon Inn (he owns the place and lives there as well): Andy has been brewing his own beer and spirits since he was six years old. The opening of that inn was the happiest day of his life. I'd like for you to get him some new tavern glasses. I'm sure there are craftsmen in the Imperial City who could make a fancy set from frosted ebony or Altmeri crystal.

Sibylla -- Muck Valley Cavern. Yes, my daughter lives in a cave, and no, I'm not very happy about it. Sibby has always loved animals (almost as much as Andy loves beer) and a couple of years ago she apparently thought it a good idea to abandon the Empire and live as a savage with the rest of the animals. In that time, I'm afraid Sibby has kind of... cracked. She's basically as wild as the beasts she lives with. What can I do? I'm Sibby's mother and I'll always love her. She obviously doesn't want or need anything from civilized society, so what I'd like you to do is find a tanner and secure the largest fur blankets you can possibly find. The last time I saw Sibby she was nearly naked, and I can't imagine there's much in that cave to keep her warm. When you do bring them to Muck Valley Cavern, be careful! The wild animals are bad enough, but Sibby herself will probably attack anyone on sight.

Caelia -- Castle Leyawiin (you'll find her in the barracks): My beautiful Cae! My dearest daughter broke so many hearts when she was younger. But now that she's an officer in the Leyawiin Guard I'm afraid she's let herself go a bit. Not gotten fat! By Mephala, not that! But she's settled into a more... practical kind of look. Even a bit boyish, I guess you could say. So what I'd like you to do is get my Cae as much pretty "girl" stuff as you can. Flowers, perfume, Nord chocolate, that sort of thing.

You've already received half your fee in advance, and will receive the remainder after the gifts have been purchased and delivered, as we originally agreed. Thank you again for providing such a valuable service.

Sincerely,

Perennia Draconis

I felt totally unprepared for this. The old woman was back to her field work, but there was no passion for the kill in me. Normally if the kill had been so easy, the art of assassination would have flowed right out of me, but now something was holding it back.

I had no idea why she could possibly be a target in the first place. Like Goes-in-heavy had said, they weren't telling me anything. I couldn't imagine what kind of crimes could lie behind her innocence.

I realized the longer I stood there, the more suspicion I would arouse. I needed to make a decision. I wanted to let her be, but I knew my duties. Even so...what if Goes-in-heavy was right? His words seemed to be coming true the more I looked at to the world.

It was heart-breaking. My employers had given me everything I had, and now I was seriously considering betraying them, all because I was loyal to the principles I thought they stood for. Loyal indeed, to make myself go through all this suffering, when I could just let the world take its normal flow. It made me feel lonely enough to know the sanctuary was gone, but to suffer like this all alone, cynical of everyone, made me feel so bitter.

I could betray them right now. I just had to walk away from this contract. It was a simple decision, but one that would have a significant effect on the course of things. No! It was too early to spot a pattern. If it happened again, if I got another seemingly unjust contract, I'd give betrayal consideration. Right now, I had to kill the old woman. I knew she wouldn't put up much of a fight. It was what was inside me that made me more worried.

I unsheathed my dagger with a quivering hand. Normally this task would have been so easy, but the turbulence in my mind was creating more problems than the outside world

My heart was pounding, and my mind was racing. I was once again going to need to break through an emotional barrier to change another fate. I took a step closer and raised the dagger.