Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Notes: I have nothing to say except thank you for reviewing!
A nine-year-old Sesshoumaru laid on his back on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He was distant these days, being it difficult to deal with the loss of his best friend. She had been killed by a spider demon, but not without a fight. Before the poison got to her, she managed to destroy it.
The two had been very close, and nearly inseparable. Wherever you found one, the other wasn't far away. Now, without her, Sesshomaru felt oddly empty, and he didn't want any company. As if feeling his pain, his mother was oddly sad, too. She was often seen very solemn and serious, as if thinking--debating with herself whether or not she should say anything.
Sesshoumaru sighed and looked out the window. If only he could've gotten there in time! He might've been able to help, his powers unusually strong for a young youkai like himself. Along with this thought, came a knock on his door. "Come in," he said unenthusiastically.
His mother quietly opened his door, came in, and closed it behind her, sitting on his bed. Sesshoumaru was turned away from her. "Hey, Mom."
"Sesshoumaru, you can't stay locked in your room the rest of your life," Ayami pointed out, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He sighed and looked at her. "I know. I wasn't going to... I just need a little time to get over her, is all." He managed a small smile, but his mother saw straight through it and into his pain.
"Kaname wouldn't have wanted you to suffer because of her. Imagine if she were still alive, she'd feel horrible,"
"But she's not alive! And it's because I didn't get there in time!" Sesshoumaru yelled, all fake happiness gone.
Ayami, determined to calm him down, said quietly and soothingly, "You mustn't blame yourself, my son. Even if you had gotten there in time, what would you have done about the poison running though her veins?"
"I... I-What about Myoga? Poison doesn't affect him! I could've gone to get him!"
Ayami shook her head. "I would've made no difference. You would not have come back in time. Sesshoumaru, what you have to understand about death-"
"I do understand! When you die you're gone forever, and nobody will ever see you again!" the young taiyoukai interrupted, tears in his eyes.
"No, Sesshoumaru, they're not gone forever. You may not see them, but they're still there. Don't worry, there will be other friends," his mother insisted, wiping away the tears.
"They won't be Kaname, though. And if you want me to forget her, I refuse. I don't want to forget..." Sesshoumaru stubbornly said, trailing off.
Ayami sighed, taking him into her arms. "I'm not asking you to forget her, Sesshoumaru, I'm asking you to remember that it is not your fault. You took no part in Kaname's death, and deep down, you know it; you are only feeling grief."
"Grief?"
"Yes. It is an emotion that can eat away at your heart until there's almost nothing left to keep you alive any longer... that's why you must not let your sadness take over, Sesshoumaru. instead of remembering her death, remember her life... All the times that you had fun together."
Sesshoumaru blinked away the remaining tears. "But... But that will just make it worse to know that I'll never see those times again, won't it, Mom?"
"Try to imagine that she's always with you, that she never really left."
Sesshoumaru sighed and closed his eyes, trying to imagine her smiling face, and the various games that they used to make up. Ayami saw her son smile as she held him close to her. "Better?" she asked.
He nodded, climbing out of her arms and sitting on the edge of his bed. "Thanks, Mom,"
She stood up and smiled at him, the smile of a mother. "Try to make some new friends, alright? But don't replace the old. Remember that, Sesshoumaru."
Ayami walked out and closed the door behind her, leaving her young son to ponder her words. 'Kaname, I won't forget you, but I won't lose myself to grief... because I know now that you wouldn't have liked that.'
He tried to imagine what her responses would be. 'You're right, I wouldn't have.'
'I will make new friends over time, but I will always remember our secrets and fun times, and none of any of the friends I make will not be anything like you,'
'I know.'
I found this chapter sorta sad, but it was fun to write it nonetheless.