Chapter Thirteen: Distances

I thought about rounding up my belongings in preparation of leaving. Again. Then I considered turning on my laptop and doing some actual work on my online classes. Then, finally, I sat by the door and listened.

Her perfect voice had a perfectly shrill quality to it. "Greg," she said, "was that the pregnant woman from the university? Did she just go into your bedroom? Oh, I shouldn't have come here."

Blue Eyes leaned against the bedroom door. I heard him tapping his cane on the floor. "Why are you here, Stacy?" He sounded neither angry nor surprised, just mildly curious.

"We haven't talked in a while. It's New Year's Eve. I wanted to see how you were," she explained perfectly.

"I'm fine. Dandy. I'm fine and dandy."

"Yes, I see. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have intruded."

The front door closed, and then the bedroom door banged into my back. Blue Eyes peered through the crack. "Move, Tiger."

"Piss off," I whispered.

I heard him drop his cane and slide down onto the floor. His head was aligned with mine, his lips against the crack in the door. "Pouting isn't as effective if no one knows you're doing it."

"I said . . ."

"I heard you. And you heard her, yes?"

I sighed. "Yes."

"Then you know I've not been in contact with her, yes?"

"None of my business," I answered.

"I agree. However, your pouting would indicate you believe it is your business."

"Why don't you fetch me that bottle of Grey Goose?"

"If you want vodka, come out here and get it. This cripple doesn't deliver."

"Don't you need to go referee Greg and Dr. Chase?"

"Greg can handle Chase."

I didn't doubt him.

"Tiger, do you intend to leave me here, unkissed, at midnight?"

I leaned over, my head in my hands. I was making a mess of everything.

"Tiger," he whispered again. "Everyone is wondering why I'm sitting on the floor outside the bedroom door. From the looks Wilson is giving me, he's about to come offer to help me up. Don't make me endure this."

"How many other women have the possibility of stopping by here tonight?"

"What?" His voice rose.

"How many past relationships could stop by for a look-see?"

He grunted. "If we were in Alabama, how many men would I have to encounter? An ex-husband, an ex-doctor-turned-rapist, and how many others?"

"It's not the same thing," I argued. "I haven't been dating anyone."

"Of course you haven't," he began to yell. "You've been f#cking pregnant! How could you date anyone?"

I stood up and continued through the cracked door. "Judging from your behavior the last four months, I was dating you. And no one else."

He knocked against the door as he struggled to get to his feet. "What an amazing imagination you have. You should try creative writing instead of that literary sh!t."

I threw myself against the door, slamming it into him. He yelped as it hit his leg. I turned the lock on the door and retreated to the bed.

"Anything wrong?" I heard Greg ask.

"Just your idiot of a sister," Blue Eyes replied before he limped off.

Greg tapped lightly on the door. "Cissy, open up."

"Piss off," I yelled.

I heard him move away from the door. Any exuberant celebrating did not sift through the walls. I couldn't hold back the tears. I also couldn't stop my milk from leaking, so I got the breast pump to express more milk for Zelda; she had so much refrigerated and frozen she'd be using it to toast her wedding.

The sounds of scraping at the door knob drew my attention. I heard a frustrated, "F#ck!" and then the screws twirled right out of the mechanism. Within a few minutes the door knob had been removed, and the door swung in.

You owe me a new door knob," he said as he set the screwdriver on the bedside table and limped over to the bed. "Five minutes until midnight. You had better finish pumping because you will be kissing me when the new year begins."

I carefully removed the pump and placed it and the milk beside the bed. "Are you in love with her?"

He sat on the bed and held my face tightly between his hands. "Not now. Do you hear me?"

"Of course I hear you. But can I trust you?"

He released me. "I don't know. I won't make predictions or promises. But, Tiger, right now I want to start with you. With you, your bullying brother, your puny daughter, and all of your southern idiosyncrasies and idiosyncratic family members."

The guests began loudly counting down from ten. Blue Eyes stared unrelentingly at me. Finally, just as "zero" was shouted out, I pulled him to me and kissed him with all the fervor and passion I had been holding in reserve. I relaxed as he returned my kiss, absorbing him into me. He fought to pull away from me briefly.

"Wait," he whispered.

He used his cane to shove the door closed; however, with no way to latch, it just swung back and forth.

"Sh!t," he muttered. "Stay right here. I have to get rid of some people."

I watched as he struggled up and out of the room. I grinned as I heard him unceremoniously telling everyone to leave.

"Okay, Happy New Year, yeah yeah. Now, get the he!! out of my apartment. All of you. I have a door to repair."

As soon as the apartment had been cleared of extraneous people, Blue Eyes came back into the bedroom, champagne under his arm and two flutes in his left hand. He handed the glasses to me, opened the champagne, and poured a toast for each of us.

To what are we toasting?" I asked.

"To a healthy year for Zelda," he replied.

We both sipped our champagne, our backs against the headboard. He started chuckling, so I had to know what was on his mind.

"Oh, just your crazy brother and Chase."

"They didn't get into an argument, did they?" I asked in shock.

"No, no, not at all. Greg, however, maintained, in a polite way, that Chase was gay."

"What?"

"He was almost subtle. He asked Chase what type of moisturizer he used, and the clueless wombat told him." He shook his head at the memory. "Chase didn't catch on until Greg tried to give him the email address of a lawyer he knew – a gay lawyer. Chase turned seven shades of purple. I think I might have fallen a little bit in love with Greg when he did that."

"I bet Allison was embarrassed."

"She didn't seem to be. I think she enjoyed Chase's discomfort."

"My brother is such an ass."

Blue Eyes snapped his fingers. "Yes, that's why I like him so much."

"You do have a lot in common, you know. What about Dr. Cuddy and Jim? A romance?"

"Wilson doesn't have time for a romance. He has all of his oncology wonder work to do. And there's me, of course."

"Yeah, but now you're spending so much time with Zelda and me, maybe he's feeling a void he wants to fill," I suggested.

"Oh, there's a void he wants to fill, all right."

"You are such a horndog," I scolded, but he was so relaxed and almost carefree, I had to smile with him.

We drank the bottle of champagne together and, eventually, fell asleep entangled.

The next morning I woke early and started cooking the black-eyed peas. Greg called and we agreed to meet at the hospital so we could visit Zelda. Blue Eyes heard the commotion and demanded to go with me.

Zelda was still breathing unaided. Blue Eyes checked her over carefully before allowing Greg to hold her.

"She's okay?" I asked nervously.

"You saw me. Her gas tank is full and the transmission is in good condition. She'll be as good as any other new born once she gains a few pounds."

Greg was smiling at his niece. "She has your mouth, Cissy."

"I can only see the resemblance when she's squalling," Blue Eyes interjected.

"Greg needs no help making fun of me, thank you very much," I told B.E.

He patted my ass as we stood behind Greg's chair, and I responded with an appropriate yelp.

"Get a room, you two," Greg scolded.

I sat down beside Greg and clamored for my turn at the little girl. Blue Eyes helped make the transfer, then said he'd see us in his office.

"What are you going to do?" Greg asked me.

"About what?"

"About the biped. Are you going to continue living with him? You'll need more room before you bring Zelda home."

"I haven't thought about any of this, Greg. Maybe I should find my own place."

Greg grinned. "Yeah, Cissy, you do that. You go find your own place to set up camp with Zelda and see how long in takes before Daredevil Diagnostician shuts you down."

I looked at him with a great deal of curiosity. "What makes you think he cares anything about me?"

"Look, Allen was an ass, but not one you could ever deal with. He was from a different planet. And Dr. Michaels was just plain psycho. But the biped, he has potential. The two of you have chemistry."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my god, Greg, I can't believe you just uttered such a tired cliché."

He nodded. "Maybe it is a cliché, but in this instance, it is accurate."

I rocked Zelda and thought about what Greg had said.

Our time was limited, and we were soon shooed out of the NICU. We had just reached the hallway outside the conference room when I heard Allison's voice. I held out my hand for Greg to stop.

"Why won't you at least give me a chance? Do you know how hard it's been, watching Stacy tear you apart, and now this, this, woman?" Her voice betrayed her desperate emotions.

Before Blue Eyes could answer, I strode into the room with every intention of slapping her again. Even with a cane, Blue Eyes was quick and had me blocked before I could get within reach of Allison.

"Hang on, Tiger," he cautioned.

"What is your problem?" I yelled at the skinny girl. "You had Chase, who, I might add, isn't gay, but you weren't satisfied. Blue Eyes doesn't want you, but you refuse to listen. And my poor, sweet brother is just someone for you to abuse."

"You don't know what it's like, wanting him to pay me some attention, only to see him with other, older women."

I struggled in earnest.

"Damm, Allison, could you watch your mouth," Greg said from the doorway. "You're pissing off the wrong person."

"Greg, don't tell me you're not offended by this girl's immaturity?" I wailed.

"Cissy, this is between Allison and Dr. House. Now, come on, let's go get the truck and leave."

Greg's eyes were clear and focused. If he could walk away from the woman he had been spending every spare minute with since he got to Princeton, then, I decided, I needed to walk away, too.

"Let go of me," I snarled at Blue Eyes.

He complied, but his look was wary. I adjusted my clothing and followed Greg out the door.

We went to the Radisson and set up residence in their bar. I ordered very strong bloody marys because, after all, it wasn't quite lunch time. Greg drank a beer.

"I thought you saw something worthwhile in Allison?" I asked him.

I did. I still do. You need to give her a chance."

"A chance? After what we just heard? Who turned you into a permanent doormat?"

"Cissy, stop. I don't know why you're so upset she was talking to the biped. She had to ask him – she, at least, wants to get rid of her baggage before she moves forward."

"Wait a minute, slick. Are you telling me her propositioning Blue Eyes is her way of shedding the past and moving into the future with you? Because, if that's what you think . . ."

Greg interrupted me, "I never said she and I had a future together. However, I do admire her for confronting your blue-eyed doctor to find out where she stands. If he really has no interest in her, he'll convince her, and she'll be able to let go. On the other hand, if anything he says even vaguely implies she has a chance with him, she'll continue to hang on."

"And this helps you how?"

"This isn't about me, Cissy. If Allison decides your doctor really doesn't want her, then my suspicions about the biped carry more weight."

"Maybe I'm just slow, but what the f#ck are you talking about?"

"If your doctor convinces Allison he's not interested, it's because he's interested in you."

I shook my head and emptied my glass. "Are you sure you're a lawyer? Did you really graduate? I mean, I saw you walk across the stage – did you pay someone to fake it?"

"What do you think the biped will tell her?"

"Is there a full moon? There must be a full moon because you are all acting freaking insane."

"I repeat," Greg said deliberately, "what do you think your doctor will tell her?"

I closed my eyes. "I think he'll tell her he's not sure about their 'chemistry,' but that he wants to give it a go. However, he'll explain to her he doesn't want to upset me in my delicate condition, so they need to keep things out of sight."

He leaned close to me. "Do you honestly believe your doctor would suggest an affair with Allison?"

"Why not? He had one with Stacy."

I drank until I was inebriated. Mid afternoon, Greg and an obliging, darkly ethnic waiter with a thick accent that rendered him almost incomprehensible, helped me into Greg's room. I tried to persuade the waiter to marry me and carry me away to his native homeland, but Greg intervened. Almost immediately, I was immured in alcoholic sleep with the promise of a torturous hangover in the future.

My thumping head awoke me around three in the morning. Greg was in the other bed, snoring contentedly. I scribbled a brief note letting him know I'd pick him up at seven to ferry him to the airport. Then, I reclaimed my truck and headed for the hospital.

I was holding Zelda, experimentally encouraging her to suck my nipple, when Dr. Chase entered. He leaned against the wall and watched me in silence.

"Insomnia?" I asked him.

"Actually, yes. It comes and goes."

"Greg is leaving this morning, so you'll be rid of him at last."

"Your brother is, well, interesting."

I smiled. "You're being diplomatic."

"I don't always get his sense of humor, but he did beat House at basketball."

I smiled and nodded at him.

"You don't look well," he observed.

"Hung over."

"I can help. I'll be right back," he said as he left. He returned shortly with a cup of hot tea and a pill. "This tea is loaded with honey, which will help, and this pill is DHEA, an adrogenic steroid hormone some think will help a hangover."

I placed Zelda back in her incubator and accepted Dr. Chase's offerings.

"You're being very kind to me with no reason I can fathom. Why?" I asked him.

"You're dedicated to your daughter. I like that."

I inclined my head. "For someone I never anticipated knowing, she's really grown on me."

"About House," he started.

I held up my hand. "Dr. Chase, I am really not in a position to discuss Dr. House with you, or with anyone for that matter."

He nodded. "I love Allison," he said with an honesty so pure and so vulnerable I wanted to warn him, to comfort him, to help him.

"She's foolish not to appreciate you."

He smiled faintly. "It's hard to tell who's the most foolish around here. But I don't mind if it's me. I am patient."

I looked at my watch and jumped. "I'm sorry – I must go pick up Greg. But, if it helps at all, I think your devotion to Allison is heroic."

He laughed quietly. "Heroic. Not a word I would have used."

I kissed him on the cheek and left.

Dr. Chase's hangover remedy helped clear my head; by the time I reached the hotel, I was almost normal. Greg was packed and ready to leave. We made the trip to the airport with little conversation. Our goodbyes, as always, were difficult.

"You must call me every day," he instructed. "And I want to know everything that goes on with Zelda. And your program – I want detailed reports on how your class outlines progress."

I nodded and agreed with everything he said. Just before he boarded the plane, I reached over to hug him.

He said, "The room is paid for until the end of the week. Take some time to decide what you want to do."

I looked into his dark eyes and knew I'd miss his humor and wisdom more than I wanted to admit.

After watching his plane climb into the dark, winter sky, I drove back to Princeton and then around the town, debating my next move. I needed my laptop, my clothing, my stuff, and all of it was in Blue Eyes' apartment. I didn't want to go there, but there seemed little choice. I was in luck, however, because he wasn't home when I reached the apartment. I packed up enough clothing to last till the end of the week. Something kept me from removing all of my belongings; I didn't want to admit I might not be welcomed back.

Just as I was carrying my things from the apartment, Blue Eyes walked in. We stopped, looking uneasily at each other.

He motioned to my clothes. "Moving?"

"I don't know."

"This isn't a motel, you realize. You can't just come and go at your whim," he said with a venom I had never heard before.

"I'll come by tomorrow and get the rest."

He rubbed his free hand through his hair. "Where were you last night, Tiger?"

I watched his expression. "I stayed the night with Greg."

He looked at his feet. "I didn't know where you were. You didn't answer your phone."

I had forgotten about my cell phone. I pulled it out of my purse. "I must have turned it off," I explained.

"You should keep it on in case something happens with Zelda," he admonished.

We were only a few feet apart, but it was as if we were on opposite sides of a great chasm. Neither of us spoke for an interminable few seconds.

"I'll start hunting for an apartment tomorrow," I finally said.

He nodded his head.

I turned to my truck as he closed his apartment door behind him.