Final Chapter

Ok, confession time. This is actually an early fic of mine, and I've never been quite satisfied with it. I fiddled a bit with the ending, but it's still not quite what I want. But I can't figure out what to do with it, so here it is.

Chapter 12

"You planning on leaving, Goren?" Alex's tone was light, but Bobby heard the underlying strain.

"Alex," he rubbed the back of his head. "I wish I could stand up and pace," Bobby thought.

"Look," Alex said flopping down on the couch next to him, "I'm in the wrong in a way—but they were open on your desk..."

"I'm...not planning to leave," Bobby stuttered. "I just thought...if someone found out...that...there should be...a backup plan..."

"And I have no say in this?" Bobby detected the irritation in Alex's voice.

"Of course, but...I didn't..." He stared at the floor. "But…I…I…"

"Bobby, you have to talk to me. Stop closing the doors. Trust me...trust me to love you and for us to work these things out." Alex fought to keep her voice calm.

"I..." Bobby floundered. "I don't trust well Alex. Everyone I've ever trusted...They've left...They've..."

"Or you've driven them away..." Alex said softly.

Anger rose in Bobby. He moved suddenly across the couch and enveloped Alex. He kissed her roughly, savagely.

"H-mm-f, no, NO, Bobby!" Alex shoved him. Bobby fell back against the couch. Alex stood and trembled with anger and fear.

"Don't you do it, Bobby Goren. I love you, I love what you do to me, but you are not going to get out of this with sex."

Bobby stared at her and staggered to his feet. Alex braced herself, but Bobby stumbled away from her and headed towards his bedroom. He managed to get to the bedroom door before his leg collapsed. He cried out in pain and slammed his hand against the floor in frustration.

Alex was behind him immediately. "Are you hurt..."

"No! Just get away from me..." Bobby flailed with his good arm.

"Bobby," Alex was trying to keep her voice reasonable, "We have to talk...even fight..."

Bobby's rage ceased in face of his exhaustion and pain. "I can't do that," he said in a small voice. He gasped for breath and trembled in anger and fear

Alex was confused. "Can't do what, Bobby?" She knelt cautiously by his side.

"Fight...when people fought in my life...they always left...or went crazy..." Bobby sounded like a small child.

Alex gently touched him on the back. When he didn't resist her, she tenderly took his chin in her hands and turned his face towards her. "Maybe I can teach you how. My parents were experts. They'd go to their room, fight, and the next morning the two of them would be making goo-goo eyes over the breakfast table."

He couldn't look her in the eyes, but Bobby raised his hand to Alex's cheek. "You...deserve better than me, Alex...you deserve a house, and kids...and...the job…you could be a captain…I…I could hurt your chances…"

Alex took a deep breath. "I had some of that... or a chance at it...and I've realized...that what I want...what I deserve...is you. And if that means I have to change my job, or face my family's wrath, or risk..." She swallowed..."risk losing you, like I did Joe… then I'll accept those
consequences for the time I get with you. And you deserve me, Bobby. You're a good and brave man. You were...willing to...to not only give up your life to do the right thing...You were willing to give the thing you loved..."

Bobby stared at her and quickly looked at the floor. "It was...so hard... to nearly lose you," he whispered. "To know I might leave you alone and hurt…But if you...you can do it, stand it, maybe I can too."

Alex leaned forward and kissed him softly on the forehead. "Let me help you up," she said, and eased Bobby to the bed. "You didn't hurt yourself throwing that tantrum, did you?"

"I don't…think so," Bobby replied.

Alex unbuttoned his shirt and helped him slip it off. A bandage, blessedly white, covered his right shoulder and upper chest. Alex softly touched his chest, letting her hand ripple across its soft hairs. Bobby leaned towards her and brushed his lips across hers. She responded by bending down and kissing his chest. She gently nipped and kissed one of his nipples. Bobby groaned softly and let his hands run through her hair. Alex raised her head to give Bobby a sweet, seductive smile. He took her face in his hand and raised it to meet his lips. Bobby unbuttoned her blouse; she slipped it off.

"Oh, Alex, my baby..." Bobby let his hand brush gently over the fading bruise just visible beneath Alex's bra.

"Ok, Bobby, no rough stuff...I'm not sure we could stand it." Alex moved carefully as she slipped her bra off.

"Alex." Her name was a prayer in his voice. "I'm sorry…I…I would never leave you…I'm sorry I did anything…" He kissed the soft skin between her breasts. "Anything…to scare you…

"I understand," Alex said. She cautiously helped Bobby shed his jeans and boxers. The bandage around his knee was also wonderfully free of any bright red. "My bandage is bigger than yours," she smiled and slipped off her jeans and underwear. She nested in his arms.

"Yea," Bobby said and nuzzled her hair. "But I've got more of them."

She lovingly nuzzled his throat in return. "What I know," she said softly. "Is that together…we can work out anything…we can face any consequences…

"Yes," Bobby said, and, to his amazement, believed it.

END