Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy.
A/N: Please review! Also, if you get the chance, my other story "Memories Long Lost" is feeling a bit lonely…I'll warn you, though, it's Maddison, not Addek, and it's a little crazy because it was based on an incredibly bizarre dream that I had about a week ago. Still, I was pleased enough with it to post it, so, it can't be all that bad… Okay, I have a quick note on this chapter. It's almost 6,000 words long, and it turned out completely different than I thought it would, but I like it. I had expected it to end out with Derek being like "I love you, Addie, and I choose you," but that just didn't fit. Instead Addison and Derek got into a screaming fight…but, yeah, don't worry, everything will work out all right, thanks to an old friend in New York…
When It Rains, It Pours
The sunlight poured in through the window and Addison, still mostly asleep, turned over on her side without opening her eyes. To her horror, a male voice next to her made a groaning noise, and she quickly shut her eyes tighter, willing what she remembered to be false because, if her memories were true, then she was in a lot of trouble. Slowly Addison opened her eyes and looked around, very careful to not look at the male body she knew was lying next to her.
She saw cream colored sheets, a red blanket, a window, and an impossibly small room, all which were telltale features of Derek's trailer. Her heart beating too fast, Addison moved her head so that she could see who was next to her. "Damn it!" she swore, taking in the sight of Derek, only half covered by the semi-transparent sheet. "Damn it!" she swore again, this time loud enough to make Derek groan and turn over on his side to face her.
As he opened his eyes, at first he looked almost shocked and confused, as if he couldn't quite remember what had happened last night, though they had both been completely sober. Suddenly understanding hit him, and he just stared at her.
Addison got out of the bed, quickly grabbing the thick red blanket from the bottom of the bed where it lay, abandoned in last night's excitement, and draped it over her. "I…um…yeah…I have to…What time is it?" Addison stammered, trying to think clearly. In emergencies, Addison could be counted on to take control and think clearly; however, her brain refused to register this as an emergency necessary of such extraordinary measures as keeping calm and a level-minded.
Derek glanced at the clock. "Ten thirty," he told her, and Addison bit her lip.
"I'm late," she informed him, as if it was really of any importance at this moment. "I was supposed to be in by seven thirty. I suppose nothing major has happened, though, since nobody paged." Addison sighed in relief, before spotting her shirt lying on the ground. When she had gone to the bar, she hadn't brought her pager with her. "Okay, I don't have my pager," she said, just to fill the silence.
Derek looked at Addison, slightly amused. "You're panicking," he mused. "You never panic…" He looked at her closer, and squinted his eyes as if that would help him see her better. "You're panicking!" he declared.
"Am not," Addison muttered as she searched for her clothes. Why was it, she wondered angrily, that people never think to fold their clothes neatly in a pile before they have sex, and instead leave them strewn all over the place? Derek snorted at her response, and she turned on him, momentarily giving up her search for her skirt. "What, and you're not?" she demanded.
"A little," he admitted, before pointing out where her skirt was lying. Her shoes were easily found, her panties and bra less so, but after a few minutes she had all of her clothes lying in one pile on the floor. Her clothes found, she had nothing else to do to distract herself from the present situation. In the last twelve hours, she had gone from a successful woman in control of her life, dating a wonderful man, to a single woman, who was lonely and scared out of her mind and had just slept with her ex-husband.
She needed to think about what to do, and Derek's gaze, along with the fact that she was naked, wasn't helping. "Okay, I need to take a shower, and then call Richard and apologize for being so late. Then I'll take a taxi to work, and we can deal with this later, when we're both not hours late for work." Derek, previously lost in thought, nodded. "You need to turn around," Addison informed him, and Derek looked at her questioningly. "The trailer's bathroom can barely be considered one, and I'm going to take a shower," she said in explanation.
"I've seen you naked thousands of times."
Derek's statement made Addison feel slightly ridiculous, but she was unwilling to relent. "Yeah, well things are different now," she said angrily, taking out her anger on Derek, though she knew that their actions had been at least as much her fault as his. Muttering objections, Derek turned around and waited for her to get into the shower. As the warm water poured over Addison, she struggled to make sense of what had happened. She and Derek had seen each other at Joe's, had emotional break downs, somehow ended up at the trailer and had hot sex. At the time, when all Addison had wanted in the whole world was to be with Derek, the consequences hadn't seemed that great. Now, as she stood in the shower, trying to remain calm, she adamantly wished she hadn't done it.
Ironically, Addison half wished that she hadn't been sober when she had slept with Derek. At least that way she could blame her actions on being intoxicated, not on any desire for her ex-husband, or any desire on Derek's part for her. Rethinking it, Addison realized that she was glad she had been sober. If she hadn't been, sure, she'd have an excuse, but then it wouldn't have happened, it wouldn't have been real. What scared Addison wasn't only their actions. It was what it might imply about them, and what would happen to Derek's relationship with Meredith.
Addison willed herself to not think about that right now, and finished the shower quickly. When she got out of the shower Derek immediately got in, hurrying to get to work, or at least out of Addison's sight. She put on yesterday's clothes, cringing at the thought that her colleagues would see her wearing the same clothes two days in a row. The staff at Seattle Grace had a flair for making stories out of the simplest events though, in all fairness, any story they made up about Addison coming to work wearing yesterday's clothes would probably be alarmingly akin to the truth.
She picked up the Derek's phone and dialed Richard's number. The phone rang twice before Richard picked up. "Hello?" he said.
"Chief!" Addison exclaimed, thrilled that Richard had picked up, and not his secretary. "I'm so sorry…my alarm didn't go off, and I misplaced my pager. I just got up—have there been any problems? I didn't have anything scheduled until the afternoon, but—"
Richard interrupted her. "Addison?" he questioned, clearly confused. "I could have sworn that it was going to be…well, never mind." Richard needed to check his call log to make sure that he had seen the number correctly, but he was almost positive that the caller ID had said Derek's name. Paired with the fact that neither of them had showed up on time, Richard decided that he needed to think before he raised any issues. "One of your patients, Rebecca Klein, went into labor. She wasn't happy to learn that you weren't available, especially when complications made it necessary to do an emergency C section, but we assured her that the on call resident was more than qualified to do the job."
"I'm so sorry," Addison apologized. "I'll personally go see her and apologize, and I will be in as soon as I can."
"You had better have a really good reason why you weren't here, Addison," Richard warned her, his impatience and anger obvious. "You and Derek had both better have really good reasons."
Addison closed her eyes for a moment, praying that the Chief didn't suspect anything, but knowing in her heart that he probably had at least a very good guess as to what had happened. "I don't know what Derek's excuse is, but I can assure you that mine is excellent and not a story that you want to hear," Addison said dryly, hoping that the panic was not audible.
Richard sighed. "Just hurry, Addison," he said wearily, before adding as an afterthought, "And tell Derek that I need a consult when he gets here." Addison cringed, and told Richard that if she saw Derek, she would do so, and hung up. Though she knew that Richard probably knew what had happened, if she pretended that it hadn't happened, maybe she could bide a bit of time. She needed to think about what had happened.
After a minute of contemplation, Addison decided that she needed some coffee. Coffee always helped her think clearer and it wasn't as if she could leave anyway, since she didn't have a car. Besides, she needed to talk to Derek about what had happened, at least briefly.
By the time Derek was out of the shower and dressed, Addison had made a pot of coffee and a few pieces of toast from stale bread she had found. Derek raised his eyebrows—he hadn't expected Addison to still be in the trailer by the time he was out of the shower. He had expected her to flee, to take time to think about what had happened. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he wanted her here. In the shower he had been thinking, and he was confused—on the one hand, he was sure he loved Addison. On the other hand, Meredith was a great person, and she deserved better than to have this happen to her. He needed to figure out what exactly had happened between him and Addison, but he had hoped that this confrontation could be delayed a few days, or at least a few hours.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded, and Addison knew that he wasn't thrilled to see her.
"I don't have a car," she reminded him defensively. "I can't leave until you decide to drive me to either the hospital, or my house so that I can get my car."
"You can't take a cab?" he asked pointedly.
Addison decided to not answer that question. "Richard told me to tell you he needs a consult when you get to the hospital," she told him.
Derek spun around from where he had been pouring coffee. "You told the Chief?" he shouted. "Oh, that's just what I need. Great…nice going, Addison." Derek looked at Addison, and for a second wished that he hadn't yelled at her. Addison was a very collected person and, even when she was emotionally a mess, it wasn't noticeable unless you looked very carefully. Now, wearing last night's crumpled clothes, no makeup, and her hair dripping wet, she looked the anything but collected.
"I didn't tell Richard!" Addison exclaimed, angrily, "He just knew. Look, Derek, all I need is a ride to the hospital, and then you won't have to deal with me anymore. I don't have any cash, so I can't take a cab, and I can't afford to waste the time to go home first. Once we're at the hospital, we can exist in silence—we're good at doing that. Just do this one last thing for me, and then I'll be out of your life."
Derek put down his coffee and walked to the small closet. He spent a minute going through his clothes, and finally he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a dark green dress and threw it at Addison, who somehow managed to catch it while holding a cup of coffee. "Nobody has to know this happened," he told her, and left the room so that she could change. When she exited the trailer she looked a lot more presentable. Though her hair was still dripping wet, the dress was pretty and unwrinkled. To her relief, her wet hair and lack of makeup would be less noticeable since it was raining out.
They got into the car and drove to the hospital in silence. Addison wanted to tell Derek so many things—that she loved him, that she didn't exactly regret last night, though she knew that she should, and that she was confused and scared. She wanted to tell him that she didn't know what to do, and she wanted to ask him where things were going with Meredith. She wanted to do so many things but, in the uncomfortable, repressive silence of the car, she was able to say none of them.
Pulling into the parking lot, in a space far enough away that nobody would be able to see them get out of the same car, Derek turned to Addison. "Nobody has to know," he repeated softly, before walking away at a quick pace, one which Addison did not care to try and match.
Slowly she made her way into the hospital, and then up to her office where she found a very angry Callie waiting for her. "Where were you?" Callie demanded. "I spent all morning trying to figure out if you were okay. You didn't come home last night, but your stuff was there, so I knew that you had been home at some point. I figured you had just gone out to dinner, and it was no big deal. And this morning, when you don't show up, and you weren't answering your pages, and nobody knew where you were…and nobody could find Derek too…do you have any idea how worried I was?"
Addison cut Callie off. "I screwed up, I know," she said wearily, then adding under her breath, "You have no idea how much I screwed up."
"Care to share?" Callie asked curiously, her anger now put aside. "Because I'm dying to know where you were, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one…" Callie trailed off, looking at Addison. "You're not wearing any makeup! And you're hair's wet!" she exclaimed suddenly.
"It was raining out," Addison answered blandly. She opened up her desk, grabbed a container of makeup out of the front drawer, walked to the mirror on her wall, and started carefully applying makeup.
"Nobody's hair is that wet from just walking from the parking lot, and it's impossible for all of your makeup to have washed off," Callie said bluntly. "Besides, it rains a lot in Seattle, and it isn't as if every day you arrive here like this."
Addison turned around, mascara in hand, and glared at Callie. She closed her eyes for a second so that she could regain composure before speaking. "Callie, if you are my friend then you won't press me on this. Please, just not now." Addison realized that she was begging, but was beyond caring—her day had been horrible so far, and it was showing no sign of improving. Waking up in the trailer had brought back memories that she had tried to banish, but that wasn't really what had made it horrible. What had made it horrible was the way Derek had looked at her and told her that nobody has to know.
Callie gave Addison a curious look, but didn't press the issue any more. Once Addison decided that she looked presentable, she went to apologize to Rebecca Klein. Luckily for her, Mrs. Klein was so happy that her baby was safe that she wasn't actually that mad, and she took Addison's apology without demanding anything more. Right as she was leaving, she received a page saying that one of the babies in the NICU was crashing.
Hurrying to the OR, she saw Derek in the elevator. They remained completely silent, each glancing at the other when they thought that the other wasn't looking. Though the elevator ride was only about a minute long, by the time she exited the elevator, Addison felt emotionally exhausted. She spent the next two hours in emergency surgery where, luckily, the baby lived, though the prospect for the future wasn't terribly bright, and the baby would have a long and hard recovery ahead.
Though it was only the early afternoon, around two, Addison decided to lie down instead of have lunch—she wasn't hungry and she needed some time alone to think. Not bothering to knock on the door of the on call room, Addison flung open the door. To her horror, what she saw was a very naked Derek on top of a very naked Meredith. Mesmerized, for a second she stared at them as they tried to cover themselves up with one very thin, white sheet. When she didn't turn around and leave immediately, Derek glared at her. "Addison!" he hissed, and suddenly she realized where she was.
"Well, glad to see you two patched things up," she said bitterly, before turning around and slamming the door behind her. Addison glared at all of the people who had been watching the spectacle, and calmly walked away. She felt numb, and it was if what she had seen had not completely registered in her mind. Last night Derek had told her he loved her—today he was having sex with Meredith in an (unlocked) on call room? Not that she hadn't expected Derek to go back to Meredith, because she had, but some deep down part of her had hoped that perhaps this was their chance together. Furthermore, she had expected Derek to at least have the decency to talk about what had happened before doing anything like that.
A tap on the shoulder caused her to stop. "Wow," Mark said, and Addison nodded in agreement. "I guess it was so urgent that they couldn't be bothered to lock the door…talk about tacky!"
Despite herself, Addison found herself smiling, albeit a sad smile. "Yeah, well, denial will do that to you," she told him without thinking about her words. She started to walk away, because Mark was about the third last person on the planet she wanted to see right now, directly after Meredith and Derek, but Mark wasn't so easily gotten rid of.
"I'm going to take a guess and say that it wasn't denial as much as a desperate attempt to prove that he didn't make the wrong decision when he decided to give up on your marriage months ago," he said wisely. Addison stopped short, looked for a place to hide and, noticing a supply closet a few feet away, opened the door and pushed Mark into it, before stepping in after him. "I get you're upset, but isn't this a bit much?" Mark asked, his tone mocking and his eyes laughing.
"How much do you know?" Addison asked deadpan. If she knew Mark at all, she knew that he knew something that she didn't want him to.
Mark snorted. "Do you take me for an idiot?" he asked, trying to avoid the question. When Addison still looked at him without backing down, he sighed. "Seriously, Addison. You and Derek show up to work at eleven. You get out of the same car, and he walks quickly away so that you two won't be seen together. He looks confused, and you look heartbroken…and, since I've seen you look like that once before, there's no mistaking that look. What did he say to you, exactly?"
Addison closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a second. "He said that nobody has to know," she whispered finally, "And, Mark, nobody knows so far except for you."
"Nobody will learn from me," he told her, and she sighed in relief. "I get it, you know," he continued. "I get knowing that you're going to regret your actions in the morning, but not caring because you want for just one moment to be happy. I get it."
Nodding, Addison tried to smile. "I'm sorry, Mark, I just need to be alone right now. I need to think." Mark nodded, and Addison opened the door to the supply closet. Spotting Alex Karev right outside of the door, she groaned audibly.
"You seem to have a pattern that you fall into so easily," Alex said mockingly and, had she been less in shock from what she had seen, she would have had to resist the urge to hit him. "Derek and Meredith get together, and then you flee to Mark…"
Tiredly, Addison sighed again. "What do you want, Karev?" she said, fighting to keep her voice calm. The numbness was wearing off quickly, and being replaced with anger and hurt. She felt as if Prom was happening all over again, only of course it wasn't. Addison's whole world was falling down around her, and she didn't know how to remain calm any more, didn't know how to act as if she was okay.
"Care to help me get off scut?" Alex asked. "I was supposed to be with you today, but you didn't show up, so the Nazi has me doing sutures instead of scrubbing in on an emergency C-section." Addison took a moment to respond—how was she supposed to respond? How was she supposed to go on with her life like it hadn't happened, as Derek had suggested? How was she supposed to pretend that she was okay? Reminding herself to be calm and breathe, Addison thought back to when she had first came to Seattle—before she had any friends aside from Richard and Adele, when everybody, including Derek, had hated her, and when she was trying to convince him to give it another try.
She thought carefully for a moment, thinking about how she had introduced herself to Meredith. She had been an ice queen…that was it. She had pretended to be okay on the outside, pretended that nothing could bother her, and had boldly told Meredith that it had been her who had cheated on Derek first. She had been kind, and compassionate, and icy all at once. If she could put on that act before, she thought she had a good chance of succeeding with it now.
"Sure," she told Alex, and for a brief moment he smiled at her before thanking her. They walked to the NICU together to check on the babies, and because Addison always liked the solidarity of the NICU. The remainder of the day was spent in the NICU and a delivery room. When the baby was finally out, Addison found herself close to tears. "Excuse me…I'll just be a minute," she said and quickly left the room, fighting tears.
Hearing footsteps behind her, Addison sped up. "Dr. Montgomery! Addison!" she heard Alex say from feet behind her. Spinning around and blinking her eyes quickly, she crossed her arms protectively over her chest.
"I said I needed a moment," Addison said.
Alex looked slightly embarrassed, but he continued on. "I don't know what happened," Alex told Addison, who shot him a questioning look. "I don't know what happened," he continued, "I mean, I've heard the rumors, but…" he trailed off. "That's not the point. The point is, I don't know what happened, but I've been with you all afternoon, and you look like shit."
"Thanks, Karev," she snapped. "I really needed that right now. Thank you."
He looked down, embarrassed. "I'm not saying this well," he said finally. "What I'm trying to say is that, if you just survive this—whatever you're going through now—if you survive this, then the worst is over. I mean, you can have the worst crap happen to you, and you can get over it…all you have to do is survive."
Addison thought back to when, the day before Derek said officially that their marriage was over, while in surgery with a baby whose mother was going to juvi and whose grandparents were too clueless to know that their child was pregnant, Alex had said the same thing to her. "I've heard that before," she noted.
"It's still true." Addison turned away for a minute, and when she turned back around, Alex had left. Gratefully she made her way to the locker room, quickly changed, grabbed her pager, and walked outside. If anybody needed her they could page—if it wasn't urgent, she couldn't deal with it right now.
Addison walked along the side of the hospital until she found a place where she could safely hide and that was out of the rain. She leaned against the wall, letting her head hit with a dull thud, and closed her eyes. Tears silently flowed down her cheeks, and she wiped at them, frantically trying to remove them. She didn't know what she wanted. She wanted Derek, but she wanted him to be happy, and if happy meant being with Meredith, she could live with that, even thought it would hurt. It wasn't fair—all she had done was sleep with Mark, and she got this whole mess as a reward. It was a mistake, but she had repented and tried to fix it every way possible though, she reasoned, not all wounds are healable.
"Are you hiding?" a voice, Derek's, asked. Addison turned around, startled.
"Get the hell away from here, Derek," Addison demanded, pointing in the direction of the door of the hospital.
He sighed. "Addie..." he began, but Addison cut him off.
"Oh no you don't!" she exclaimed. "You can't do this to me, you can't reason with me, and you can't do anything at all to make this better, any of it. Just get away, Derek. This is painful…all of this, especially watching you make love to Meredith before we had even talked about what happened. That was particularly charming…Thank you for that, Derek. You really do know how to make me feel even better about myself, don't you? I guess it was a perk of being married to me for so long, perhaps the only one from your point of view. Now you know where to hurt me the most just when I need it. Congratulations."
Derek reached for Addison's hand and held it tight, even when she tried to pull away. Addison forced herself to look at Derek, and the look of desperation and despair on Addison's face took Derek by surprise. "What do you want me to do, Addison?" he asked softly. "Do you want to talk? Do you want to pretend that this never happened?"
Addison laughed disdainfully. "Me? What do I want?" she asked, as much for herself as for Derek. "I don't want to pretend anything," she said finally, her voice ragged and exhausted. Was that true, Addison wondered. Did she really want to not pretend that this had happened? Did she really want to face reality, to have Derek slap her in the face when he, once again, chose Meredith over her? No, she didn't, but she was done keeping secrets.
"You want everyone to know?" he questioned mockingly. "I mean, this would bring your nickname Satan's whore to a new level entirely."
The rain fell heavily all around them, and Addison was glad. She would have felt as if some higher being was mocking her if it had been a cloudless sky, a rare event in Seattle. "No, Derek," she said tiredly, not angry though she knew she should have been. "I don't want everybody else to know, not unless you want them to. What I want is for us to not pretend any longer. We pretended for the last several years of our marriage—first that we weren't growing apart, then later that we were actually trying to patch things up."
"No more pretending," Derek repeated, and Addison nodded tearfully. They lapsed into silence, Addison crying not terribly softly, and Derek just looking blankly around them. He couldn't do this to Addison—he couldn't watch her like this, not in any sort of good conscience. "Should I tell Meredith?" he asked quietly.
"That's your decision," Addison said thorough sobs, and then all conversation stopped again.
After a moment, Derek spoke again. "If this was a matter of choosing, Meredith would win," he said softly, causing Addison to pull her hand away from his and turn away. Derek grabbed Addison's shoulders and gently turned her around. "I want Meredith to be the one, because it makes everything so much simpler, but I don't think she is. I can't say that last night was entirely a mistake, though I wish I could say that I was heartbroken and confused and that you were just a mistake. I just…just…I just need time to decide, because if I make the decision too quickly then I'll never be able to forgive myself, and I'll never be able to forgive you."
"And what do you want me to give you, Derek? Time? You want me to just wait until you decide, until you chose the lucky winner, and then I can resume my life?" Derek nodded, and Addison shrugged. "I don't know if I can do that, Derek. If you want to give you and Meredith another shot, then by all means do so, but you can't ask me to just wait around as backup, as an extra choice incase something happens between you two. I love you, but I'm not that desperate."
"So you're going to force me to decide here and now?" Derek asked sadly. If push came to shove he knew what he would decide—he'd known that for months—but he just didn't feel up to making any sort of decision right now.
"No," Addison said sadly. "I should be the bigger person and remove myself from this. I shouldn't have let this happen, shouldn't have let it get this far. When we were married, I knew you loved Meredith, but I didn't pull out, even though I knew I should have. I didn't pull out, and as a result I hurt everybody around us. It's my fault, and I'm sorry…so I know what I should do now, but I can't do it. You get time, or whatever." Great, Addison thought, now she was sounding like the interns, who couldn't find the proper noun to use most of the time and so they settled on "whatever" or "stuff" or "something."
Derek sighed heavily. Though he was pretty sure that this wasn't the right choice, he knew that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he decided otherwise. "I can't do this to Meredith," he said after a moment. "She doesn't deserve it."
"She doesn't," Addison agreed sadly. "She's a good person…so, I guess you've made your decision."
"I guess I have," Derek muttered, and Addison tried to pull away from Derek. "Perhaps we're too damaged for other people," he informed Addison, who now looked at him, clearly confused.
"Derek, I don't get it…I thought you chose Meredith?" Addison asked.
"I need to give it another try with Meredith," Derek informed Addison bluntly. "I gave you another chance, and Meredith deserves one too. I'm not asking you to put your life on hold for me…I'm asking you to move on so that I can. If you're happy, then I know that I can be, and if you continue to stay here and try and fight for us, even when there is no hope, then I can't be with Meredith because I'll always hate myself for not trying harder with you. I need to be with Meredith, Addison, just like you need to be with Mark."
Furious, Addison pulled away from Derek. "I thought you understood!" she raged. "You acted like you understood, and I get you staying Meredith because she's a great person, but you have all the wrong reasons! You don't choose somebody because it's the easy decision; you choose them because they're right for you. Mark was the easy choice for me. You don't think that I didn't want Mark to be the one? That I wanted to have his child, that I wanted to love him the way I think he loves me? I can't be with Mark because it just wasn't right, and if you still can't see it, then I don't know what to say. You can go off with Meredith, but you can't throw Mark in my face every time you're presented with an opportunity. I hurt you, I hurt him, I ruined everything, and maybe it's because I'm a horrible person, maybe it's because I really am Satan.
"I can't give up on us, Derek, not simply to please you, because I love you even when I try not to. Don't get me wrong, I've tried to, I've tried to move on, but don't ask me to move on simply as a favor to you. I don't let people walk over me, and I don't let people tell me what to do, and I don't others make my decisions, even if I would be happier if somebody else did. So, by all means, go back to Meredith, but don't expect me to simply give up because you tell me to, and don't tell me to go back to Mark. If I kill myself fighting, then so be it, because at least I'll know I died for something I believed in. That's the difference between us, Derek. You choose the easy way out, and I fight for what I believe in."
Derek stared at Addison, awestruck. When mad, she was a force to be reckoned with. Derek was mad at Addison, but some part of him told him that he deserved it. "So you're going to fight for us?" Derek questioned.
"I'll do whatever the hell I want to do, Derek, and, frankly, if I never spoke to you again, you'd deserve it…and, I suppose, since I can't give up, it's the next best option for you anyhow, so you should be pleased."
"What if I want to talk to you, Addie? What if I love you?" Derek asked frantically. He knew he had messed up, he knew he loved Addison, not Meredith, but also knew that Meredith was the person he wanted to choose because she wouldn't hurt him the way that Addison had.
"You lost your chance," Addison yelled, now too worked up to care who was hearing. "I'll talk to you, sure, whatever you want, just leave me alone!" With that, Addison turned around and stormed away. Not caring that she was being terrifically irresponsible, Addison got into her car and drove home. If Richard wanted to yell at her, she'd take the punishment without any fight, because all that mattered in the world right then and there was to get away from Derek.