Title: If Only

Rating: FRT

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Summary: RayNeela. My alternate take on all the Ray/Neela scenes in 'I Don't' and let me tell you, they went through A LOT of "if only this had happened and if only that had happened' scenes in this episode.

Author's Note: I know, I'm taking on another story when I've got about half a dozen uncompleted chapter stories but I tell you do not fear, they will be completed…in time…lol. Anyway this idea came to me last night at about 12:00 in the morning and I had to get it down. ALSO big note this is not a multi – chapter story, each chapter will rewrite a different scene from the episode, none of them, I repeat none of them will be continued after the chapter based on it ends. Okay. Got that? Good :) On with the story!

1. If Only…

…It had been Ray at Neela's door instead of Gates.

Neela sighed as she slipped the earring through her lobe. She didn't know why, but she had a huge sense of dread about the ER dinner party tonight. Hmm…maybe it's because the two guys you're involved with are both going to be there and not to mention they hate the living daylights out of each other. She was certain she had already made up her mind that it was Ray she wanted to be with, there was absolutely no denying that but the problem she was having was coming face to face with Tony and telling clearly and straightforwardly that they were done. Sure she had tried, on numerous accounts; she had just never formed them clearly into the words 'we're done' she just kind of hopped around it hoping he would understand what she was trying to say but of course he was just to plain dense to notice that when she said "I just don't know where I fit in..." it actually meant; "I want to break up with you, you arrogant, self – self centred bastard." So now she had decided it was time for her to face the facts, she was going to have to do it the 'clearly and straightforward way' also known as; 'the hard way' but it was the only way, the only way she could do it and she'd have to do it fast, like tonight fast because it might just cost her losing the man she'd only truly ever whole heartedly loved.

'Knock, Knock.'

She looked up startled. Who could that possibly be? She wasn't supposed to be attending with someone, she was sure of it. She had thought of going with Ray but to her luck he had been busy and she had been positive to tell Tony that she'd see him there. The last thing Ray needed to see was them entering the building together, and knowing Tony it would have been a 'big scene' to shove it in Ray's face.

"Just a second." she called.

"C'mon, Neela. I got the cab waiting." called a voice that sounded strangely like…Ray…

She frowned. Huh? She quickly hurried to the door, not before stopping in front of the mirror and taking one last glance at her appearance. Dress, check. Make – up, check, Hair, check, she smiled couldn't helping but feeling reasonably proud of what she saw.

"Ray?" she asked opening the door.

She was greeted by his gorgeous smirk of a smile.

"Hey, Neela…" he said, not even trying to hide his eyes travelling up her body. He smiled at her appreciation and she could feel the heat rising to her face.

"Wow, you're looking good." he commented.

She blushed. Stupid, bloody hormones.

"Thanks, you don't look to shabby, yourself."

He grinned.

"Well, I do try."

She shook her head. Old age obviously wasn't wearing him down, he was still as cocky was ever.

"So, what are you doing here? I thought you had something to do?" she questioned curiously.

He grinned secretly.

"I did, and I did take care of it and it will all be revealed…in time." He told her, patting the front of his jacket pocket. "But then I saw I had some free time to spare so I made a quick detour here so you could enjoy my obviously delightful company." he smirked.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Don't flatter yourself, Barnett."

He feigned a hurt look.

"Ouch, I'm really wounded, now I'm beginning to wonder if I should just leave you here and take off in my cab."

Neela shook her head quickly.

"No, don't go!"

He grinned.

"I knew you'd give in."

She shook her head again.

"Oh, I'm not giving in, I just figured if I came with you it would save me having to hail a cab in this bloody contraption of a dress and not to mention at least 20 bucks." she told him feigning innocent.

Ray gave her a pout.

"Damn, you've crushed me down to practically nothing in less than two minutes flat."

She smirked at him.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll somehow manage to survive so while you're nursing your bruised ego, I'll go get my purse."

"Well, you better hurry, I'm outta here in 30 seconds tops." he called to her retreating back.

"Whatever you say." she called back, smiling secretly to herself. She'd missed their banter, she'd missed their little moments, she'd missed their so obvious chemistry, to sum it all up she'd missed him. She knew exactly what she had to do.

End 'If Only' Fic 1.

So what did you think of the first ficlet in the series? I know it was a bit fluffy but I thought I'd add it in before I got into the more serious part of this little series. Remember each one is one ending of a scene, it is not continued in the next chapter, I will tackle another different scene in that where this, (what's above) never happened. I mean you can probably give yourselves your own ending as to what happens after this, can't you:)

Anyway, what I really want to know is if you want me to continue, please review and tell me, the more reviews the more inspired I'll be to write the next scene!