Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews :) I'm really glad you all like it so far. It made me eager to write the next little scene, remember not a multi – chapter, just a rewrite of a different scene, nothing at all to do with the contents of the last chapter, Okay? So here ya go! Enjoy!

2. If Only…

…Hope hadn't interrupted (right at that moment).

Ray stared hard out the window as the last glimpse of the sun faded down below the Chicago skyline. How could she? How could she give him hope that she and Gates were through and then go and throw it right back in his face? "You won't have to wait long." What a big load of crap!She had made him that promise and he like a fool, had believed her. He felt the CD through his pocket, fuck, he'd worked over a freaking month editing and choosing the songs and he'd worked well over a week decorating the cover. Now he was beginning to wonder why he'd even bothered, why he'd even gotten so excited that they were finally going to be together because right now things weren't looking so great and he almost felt like he was going to have a breakdown, maybe the whole thing was a mistake. In fact maybe he should just avoid giving it to her. It was not like she needed to be rewarded for her public display of affection with Gates tonight. God, He kept on vowing to himself that he would not let her get to him like this and rule over now their 'relationship' went about, but whenever she came near him -

"It's pretty kooky, huh? Them getting married like this." came an all too familiar British voice.

- He turned into a walking pile of mush.

He turned around to glance at her.

"Yeah, it's pretty kooky, how's it going down there?" he asked and couldn't help but keep the small smile off his face.

"Oh, they're getting ready." she told him.

He suppressed himself from sighing as his hand dug into his pocket. So much for not giving in to her, Barnett.

"What's this?" she asked confused.

He gave her another huge love struck grin.

"It's for you. I started doing a little bit of recording again, on my own, and it's got some songs I've been working on."

Neela smiled at him.

"Yay, it's great."

"There's one about you." That was a complete lie. Each and every song he had attempted to write by himself since the band had split on him had been about her. "But you'll have to figure it out, plus a few others I burned, you know some songs we used to listen to when we were roommates."

She nodded.

"I'm sorry, Ray."

"About what?" he asked hoping his voice sounded nonchalant because he sure as hell knew what she was talking about.

"I thought I was coming alone and he just turned up. I- I didn't know what to do…" Neela explained.

He glanced down at her. It was time to tell her, get it straight out in the open.

"No offence, but uh, not knowing what to do has become your baseline."

She looked at him obviously a little bit taken back.

"This isn't for me, Ray. I've had a pretty hard time since…" she began pausing. "Losing Michael, I still haven't quite -"

"Yeah, I know." he interrupted.

"I mean, Tony was new. There's no history. He didn't make me think about things from before. Maybe I rushed into it because it made moving on easier." Neela continued averting her gaze from his to look out the window.

Wait a minute…

"So I feel like history to you?" he asked.

Neela looked back up at him.

"Well, I couldn't separate you from Michael. I couldn't be with you and not feel guilty."

Ray nodded. "What about now?" he asked, before reaching his hand out to slowly caress hers.

"Now?" she asked looking down at their entwined hands. "I'm not sure all that matters anymore." she finished slowly.

Ray looked at her, his smile stretching slowly. Hallelujah…

"Meaning?" he asked hopefully.

She looked up at his face again.

"Meaning, I'm done, I'm done living in the past. Michael was my past and as much as I loved him, I never knew him. The reason I hide a way from you when he died, Ray was that only then did I really realize that I knew nothing about him." She paused for a second before continuing. "I mean he might as well have been a complete stranger. I didn't know his favourite things, his likes and dislikes and what made it even worse was that I knew all those things about you! Bloody hell you were my roommate, my best friend and he was my husband! My supposed soul mate! And I knew nothing about him! Sure, I should put all the blame on him, saying the reason I didn't know anything about him was because he was in god damn Iraq, 99 percent of our marriage but the truth is I'm as much to blame as he is." She paused again, taking in Ray's mixture of a confused/shocked look.

"What I trying to say is that I knew that I knew nothing about him when he proposed to me but yet I still married him! I let him go back to the war knowing I that I had already started to have feelings for you, I moved out knowing I had even stronger feelings for you than I had about him. I wanted to talk to you, believe me I wanted to talk to you so much after his death, I wanted to confess and bring everything out in the open but every time that I saw you I felt like I had betrayed Michael…but now…now I'm beginning to realize that I should have seen that Michael and I were over before we'd even begun. So what I'm really trying to say to you in this 'big confession and let everything out' speech is that I know it may be hard but I'm ready. I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to move on with you." she stopped looking at him with a nervous expression.

What do you say?"

Ray stared at her in astonishment before a huge smile spread.

"Wow, what am I supposed to say after that?" he asked.

Neela grinned cheekily at him.

"Well, you know, it's a well known fact that actions speak better than words…" she put in.

Ray's smile increased about a thousand watts.

"Oh, really…?" he questioned.

Neela nodded.

"Mmhmm…"

"Well then…" Ray whispered before dropping his head slightly to let his lips brush against hers. He felt her mouth lifting into a smile and he took that as permission to deepen it. Finally…

"Neela! There you are! Abby's – Whoa!" the sound of Hope's voice broke them apart.

"Uh, Hey, Hope." Neela said glancing at Ray as they both tried to suppress their laughter at Hope's wide open awe struck eyes.

"Umm…sorry, am I interrupting – wow, so you two finally got your acts together!" she squealed clapping her hands together. "This is so exciting! I was talking to Archie about the two of you the other day, I mean we all knew that this would happen sooner or -" she began rambling excitedly.

"Hope! Was there something you wanted?" Neela asked.

She stopped.

"Oh, right, Um…Abby wants to talk to you." she put in.

"Okay, I better get going then." Neela said beginning to retreat.

"I'll uh, come down with you." Ray called quickly following after her.

Hope watched them leave with a grin on her face.

"Oh, and guys, if you ever need a wedding planner…"

"Hope!"

End 'If Only' Fic 2.

lol, what did ya think? I'm trying to end each and every one of these scenes on a happy note, so I hoped you liked it. Please review you know they make my world go round :)