Chapter Thirty-five: Boys and Their Chili

Dr. Castillo promised to phone in a prescription for Trazodone to take the place of the discarded Ambien, although she enjoyed my story of wayward activity while under its influence. I called Dr. Murphy and was lucky enough to schedule an appointment with her on Friday. I also called a handyman Cindy suggested to have the ceiling fan replaced. I thought I was done with phone calls until, after lunch, I was surprised by a call from an old colleague.

"Audra, this is Sarah Cantrell," the familiar, polished voice introduced herself.

"Sarah, how are you?" I cried with true pleasure.

She said, "I want to know how you are doing, although rumor has it you're creating quite a stir with online learning. And I have the copy of a very interesting article on my desk bearing your name."

"Oh, Sarah, things have certainly been happening. I also have a baby daughter."

I heard the brief intake of breath before she recovered. "A daughter? Aren't you the sneaky one. Is there a father?"

"No, Sarah, no." I swallowed hard as I continued, "And what's going on with you?"

"Dr. Pirie had a massive heart attack last fall and a quadruple bypass immediately following. As of January first, I'm acting department head, to become official when his l retirement begins in May."

"Oh my god," I squealed. "Congratulations. I'm sorry to hear about Dr. Pirie, of course, but no one deserves to be department head more than you."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Audra, because I'm calling to officially bribe you to come back to Auburn for your doctorate."

I stuttered, "What?"

"I've heard, from your department head, Dr. Joel Jacobs, all about your online program and what a major success it is, so I've been authorized to offer you money, free tuition for your doctoral classes, and anything else I can to get you to head up a similar program here."

"Huh?"

Sarah laughed. "You've got to come back down here, Audra. You know I'm the only female in the old boys' school – I need some companion estrogen. Tell me what you want."

"Hang on, Sarah. Joel just asked me to write a textbook for the online courses."

"That's fine, Audra. Princeton publishes your textbook and uses it for their online courses, and we use it for our online courses – more money for them. Write the book. We'll make allowances for that in your contract. I'll even clear it with Joel first if you want."

I began to hyperventilate. "You're seriously offering me a job?"

"I am seriously offering you a job. You'll be a program director reporting straight to me. We can negotiate your job title. I'll give you free tuition and time off for course work. And free daycare. You'll need a staff: a full-time secretary, an instructor, and at least three grad students. How does that sound? We can negotiate how many students you can adopt. We'll guarantee to use your textbook. And I know I can offer you a salary that will leave you speechless. And I'll pay your moving costs. Did I hear you say 'yes' yet?"

"And I would start when?"

"Finish this semester, then we'll put you under contract. Hell, I don't care if you do nothing all summer but decorate your suite of offices and proof your textbook. I'll expect the courses up and running by fall, but we already have a fledgling program in place; you'll be able to step in and change things to fit with your own ideas. Give me your fax number and I'll send you a tentative contract, including money, before the end of the day so you'll know what you have to think about. Sound good?"

"Sarah, this is beyond my wildest dreams. You are sober, right?"

"Give me the damned fax number. I have so missed you."

I gave Sarah the number and made her promise to give me a week to consider her offer. When her tentative contract arrived, I did, indeed, have to sit down when I saw the salary she was offering. If I accepted, Zelda and I would be living in high cotton. Plus, Sarah was a dream to work with. Moving to Alabama would put me within a three-hour drive of Daddy. But I would have to leave Blue Eyes.

Just as I was closing up the office, Troy hurried in with the documents I needed and a hefty check in his hand.

"Ms. Jeffrey," he said, "I can have the other things you want by eight in the morning if you're willing to pay . . ."

He told me how much he needed, and I wrote the check. He scurried out, hunched over like a secret agent. I headed for Zelda after making a detour to my bank.

By the time I made it home, the place reeked of the chili Blue Eyes and Jim had prepared together. Just walking through the door made my eyes water. The entire kitchen was the color of chili powder – it covered everything. A huge pot, still full, was on the stove. I spooned some of the lukewarm concoction into a bowl and opened a beer as I followed the sounds of "Crocodile Rock" being banged out on the piano.

"Hey," Jim yelled, "you're not eating the chili?"

"Yep," I answered after swallowing a huge mouthful. I immediately knew why Jim was hiding his face in his hands and Blue Eyes had switched to playing Kool & the Gang's "Too Hot." I dropped to my knees, shoving the bowl away from me, and started guzzling the beer.

"No, water," Jim cried.

All I could do was make gagging noises.

"Oh, hell," Jim said. He ran into the kitchen and returned with a huge glass of water. I drank it without breathing.

Blue Eyes, of course, just laughed. "Why the hell did you eat that, Tiger? Couldn't you tell by the smell we had crossed the line from primo chili to inedible sh1t?"

Jim squatted on the floor beside me. "Are you all right? We were afraid to put it down the garbage disposal."

"Last time we made chili, it burned out the disposal's motor and dissolved every trace of Teflon from the pot. You see, Tiger, we don't make the chili to actually be eaten. We make it as a kind of science experiment," Blue Eyes explained.

I croaked, "What were you planning to do with it, then?"

"Bury it in the backyard. I have a spot by that ugly ass pine tree all picked out."

"House, shut up," Jim ordered. "We may have done permanent damage to her vocal cords."

"Well, we can at least hope."

I grabbed my spoon and flung it in the general direction of B.E.'s head.

"Oh, fine," he groused. "I think she got some of that toxic goo on my head. If I start to lose my hair . . ."

Jim interrupted, "If you start to lose your hair? House, you're already cultivating a bald spot."

"You're not pretty when you're jealous," B.E. retorted.

"You two jerks let me eat throat-ravaging chili because you're more concerned with debating hair issues?" I hoarsely objected. "And, yes, Blue Eyes, you're developing a bald spot."

"She's mean when she's suffered internal burns," Blue Eyes said.

I asked, "Didn't you two eat any of this?"

"Oh, hell no. We just use it as an excuse to drink copious amounts of beer. One must stay hydrated while cooking with hot peppers," B.E. answered.

"I make a delightful chili with just the right combination of heat and spiciness. House is the one who insists on degrading my delicacy by adding scotch bonnets and other odd peppers he discovers," Jim complained. "Beer drinking became an important aspect because the alcohol serves to cauterize any open wounds we've created from tasting the, well, chili."

"You two are dangerous," I concluded. "I think you have done permanent damage." I rubbed my throat.

Jim hopped up again. "Time for the ice cream."

Blue Eyes patted the piano bench beside him. "Hop up, virgin gullet."

I sat beside him, leaning against his shoulder. "Nothing of mine qualifies as virgin after that."

He lifted his eyes at me. "Nothing? You sure about that, Tiger?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Shut up, Blue Eyes. I know what you're thinking. Don't say it."

He leaned close to my ear. "We can discuss it later, my little virgin."

"Vanilla with chocolate sauce," Jim called as he brought in a tray with three bowls and three spoons.

"I'll take mine curbside," B.E. requested. Jim handed us each a bowl.

We happily ate ice cream. Blue Eyes complained he couldn't play the piano while feeding himself, so I relented and spoon-fed him the cold, sweet treat while he ran through his Elton John repertoire. I don't know what he enjoyed the most, having me feed him or knowing Jim was watching me feed him.

He stayed that night, following me as if there were no question about his belonging. When I slid into bed, he slid in right behind me. I curled on my side and he curled himself around me, spooning me with a prodding erection. After nudging me for the third time, he said, "Why don't we check your virgin status, Tiger? I have an idea . . ."

"You are nothing but wicked, Blue Eyes," I laughed.

"But you love me. I heard you say it."

"Oh, no, you didn't," I lied.

He bit my shoulder hard enough to leave teeth imprints. "Admit it. I heard you. I remember."

"Are you going to keep biting me until I give in?"

He pulled a bit of my neck between his teeth and sucked, deliberately creating a hickey. "Admit it, my little virgin."

I sighed. "If you heard it, as you say you did, then why on earth do I need to confirm it?"

His teeth targeted my ear lobe, and he nipped it sharply. "I want to hear it again."

His right arm was around my waist, holding me against his insistent prodding. "You want me to say what you won't say? That's not fair," I complained.

"No need for me to say what you already know." He ran his hand underneath the Elton John t-shirt I had donned in honor of the night's music. I held my breath as he reached my breasts, rubbing them roughly as he pushed against my butt.

"I don't know a single thing," I whispered. I was lying still, praying he wouldn't stop squeezing and pinching my nipples.

"You know everything, little virgin," he growled in my ear as his hand crept lower, inside my panties. He fingered the crevice between my legs, slowly, gently insinuating his long hand further and further while only teasing the sensitive places I longed for him to touch. I leaned my head back, nuzzling against his bearded chin. He coaxed, "Ah, tell me what you want, little virgin."

"You know everything," I replied.

He used his hand to slide my panties down to my ankles, where I wiggled them loose. He pulled my butt snugly against him, slipping his hand between my legs from behind. His finger eased into me, causing my breath to catch in my throat.

"Is that what you wanted, little virgin?"

I allowed him to guide me onto my knees as he moved between my thighs. One hand pushed my shoulders onto the mattress while the other one lifted my ass up to meet him. He was quick and forceful when he shoved into me. He stopped an instant so I could breathe again; then, carefully, he began moving until I could stay quiet no longer. I moaned, and as he heard me, his own groans joined mine. When he withdrew, he wrapped both of his arms around me and held me securely, his chin beside the top of my head. As sleep claimed me, I thought I heard him say, "We both know."

I snuck out of bed before the sky had lightened. I took a quick shower and dressed in my burnt orange sweater dress I had worn for my program's reception. I wrote a note to Blue Eyes, rolled it up, and stuffed it inside his medication bottle. The note read:

Dear Blue Eyes,

Meet me on the hospital roof at six tonight. No earlier; no later. I promise to make it worth your time.

Tiger

I spent the early morning at the hospital feeding and changing Zelda. Her cheeks were beginning to fill out; she was looking less like a starving infant. I rocked her while she cooed, waving her arms when some shadow passed in front of her hazy view. I kissed her forehead and put her to bed. I headed for the staircase to check out the roof. It was slick with a coating of ice as snow flurried down in swirling clouds. The night was going to be more challenging than I had planned

When I unlocked my university office, Troy was waiting for me. He handed me a sealed manila envelope.

"Did you have enough money?" I asked him.

He nodded while glancing around surreptitiously. "Yes, ma'am. Everything is just the way you wanted it. Anything else I can do?"

"Come into my office. I need you to run some errands." I sat down and started making a list. "Troy, I need you to get all of this. Here," I pulled some money from my purse, "this should be enough money. Do you know where to find this stuff?"

He perused the list as if the free world depended on his successful completion of the assignment. "Yes, I'll get everything. I know just where to go," he answered. He put the list in his pocket along with the money. I shooed him out before Cindy arrived. I knew they had compared notes and had, most likely, figured out what I was up to. Still, I wanted to be as secretive as I could be.

While Troy was shopping, I gave three straight lectures to business classes. I made it back to my office at lunchtime. Troy was waiting for me; he had everything organized. I also had a message to call Blue Eyes.

"The roof, huh?" he asked as soon as he answered.

"The roof."

"Want to tell me what's going on?"

I answered firmly, "No."

I heard him sigh. "Six o'clock then."

As I left the office in the late afternoon to get everything ready for Blue Eyes, Cindy and Troy both wished me luck with my plans. Their grins told me they knew much more than I had revealed. I was nervous as I hurried back to the hospital. I was counting on a favorable reaction from Blue Eyes, especially after the conversation I had overheard between Wilson and him.

I worked for over an hour stringing lights all around and over the rooftop. The ice made things slick, but I succeeded in turning the barren area into a wonderland. Troy had found solid white lights, white lights that twinkled, and white lights shaped like large snowflakes. They created a canopy over the area by the door. I strung large, silver letters on a string and hung them high, facing the doorway. I used a shovel to scrape the snow into drifts along the wall. After I finished the hard labor, I went to the restroom to change clothes and spruce up. When I returned to the roof, I waited until my watch said six to start Al Green singing "Let's Stay Together." I stood by the door, holding my coat closed and clutching the manila envelope.

By the time the CD had played Al for the third time, I heard the door creaking as it opened. Blue Eyes, his face obscured in shadows, ducked as he stepped into the lights and the snowstorm. He stared at my makeshift invitation swaying amidst the white lights, and then he stared at me. Finally, he read the sign aloud: "Come Away With Me."

I nodded at him. "Please."