A Jackie Hyde New Year?
Point Place, Wisconsin
December 30, 1996
5:46 P.M.
Golden Meadows Retirement Home
It was that time again. Once every month the Forman's would all have dinner together. That included Kitty and Red, but also Laurie and Fez would come since Laurie was a Forman and Fez married. This time was going to suck though. Kitty and Red were having it at their new place at Golden Meadows Retirement Home. Nevertheless it was going to be horrible. "Come on Ryan." Jennifer pleaded. "Why can't I come?" She started to pout.
"You know Jen.'' Ryan said. "You're just like your mom you know, and I've already asked. They always say no." Jennifer frowned.
"I was really looking forward to spending some time with you Ryan." Jennifer said.
"Well, there's always New Years Eve." Ryan said.
''The time where couples across the world get together and do it." Jennifer laughed.
"True." Ryan said. "Very, very true."
"So." Jennifer stated. "What do you want to do then?"
''How about we go to someplace where there's nobody home so we can spend some time together." Jennifer kissed him.
"Great idea." Jennifer said. "My house will be jam packed. What about here?"
''I think it'll be just MJ and I." Ryan said. "I think that Donna and Eric are going to Jackie, or your mom's party instead of throwing the usual neighborhood wide block party like New Years Eve party."
"Good." Jennifer said. "Just you and me."
''And MJ." Ryan said.
"Shut up and kiss me." Jennifer said. Ryan and Jennifer started to kiss in the halls of the retirement home. "Talk to you later." She waved and started towards the stairs and headed off back to somewhere else. Finally MJ, Donna, and Eric showed up and rang the door bell.
"I'm coming!" a voice laughed from inside. Running over to the door was Kitty Forman. "Why are you four so early?"
"We, uh, had nothing to do?" Eric stammered.
"Well come in." Kitty said. "There's no need to screw around in the hall. Come on. Come on. Red! They're here!" Red came walking over from the couch and shook their hands.
"And how's my favorite granddaughter?" Red asked.
"Just fine Grandpa Red." MJ beamed.
"Good to know you're just fine Mary Jane." Red said. He wasn't very found of the name but he could deal with it.
"Now where are Laurie, Fez, and Christian?" Kitty wondered.
"They couldn't make it." Donna said.
"Well Fez and Christian can, but Laurie can't." Eric added.
"What a surprise." Red muttered.
"They should be here any second." Kitty said. "I just saw there car pull up."
Sure enough in just a few minutes Fez and Christian arrived at the door. "DAD!" Fez yelled out and hugged him.
"Someone get this forgien bastard off of me!" Red yelled.
"You" Fez started. "are rude."
"Oh," Donna stared. "but Fez."
"I said good day!" Fez yelled.
"Uh Fez." Eric said. "You only say that when you're leaving."
"Oh yeah." Fez said. "I think the candy is getting to my head. I do not mean that precious candy god!"
"Ok Fez." Kitty said. "Just come in and eat some dinner." Kitty guided everyone to the rather large table in the middle of the room. Kitty put some meatloaf down on the table and put a slice on everyone's plate.
"Meatloaf Kitty?" Red said. "Why couldn't you make some god damn steaks?"
"Well I could have but you ate them all for lunch." Kitty laughed in that annoying tone that she always would.
"Good one Mrs. Forman." Fez said laughing.
"Oh there's no reason to call me Mrs. Forman anymore Fez." Kitty said. "Call me Mom or Kitty."
"Kitty." Red said. "Just knock it off."
"Thanks Dad." Eric said.
"So Red. How's the muffler shop going?" Donna asked.
"Yeah Dad." Eric said. "Do tell us the fascinating world of muffler's."
Red hated it whenever someone brought up the muffler shop. "I lost it last year you dumbass." Red said.
"Now Red." Kitty said. She shot him a look. "You know you shouldn't be calling your only son a dumbass."
"Well Eric sort of is a dumbass Kitty." Fez laughed.
"Fez!" Kitty exclaimed.
"I think I'm starting to like you Fez." Red said.
"Red?" Kitty said. "Are you feeling ok?"
"No Kitty." Fez said. "I think he looks alright."
"Just shut up Dad." Christian said.
"Good one man." Ryan added. "Burn!"
"Damn Eric." Donna said. "You can't recognize a burn but your own son can? Looks like he's got my genes."
"Ha ha ha." Eric laughed. "Very funny."
"She's got you there Eric." Red said.
"That's it." Kitty muttered. "Dessert time!"
"Oh boy!" Fez yelled. "Dessert!"
Kitty walked over to the fridge and grabbed a plate of brownies out. "M&M brownies for us," Kitty started. She set the plate down. "and a nice juicy cantaloupe wedge for Red."
"Oh boy." Red said with little enthusiasm. Soon the plate of brownies was empty and the cantaloupe wasn't touched at all.
"Bye!" Kitty called out. "We're at your house next month Fez!"
"Hey Dad." Ryan said. "I'm gonna walk home ok?"
"Sure thing Ryan." Eric said.
"Yeah me too." Christian said.
"You two have fun!" Donna called out. The two friends started to walk towards Justin's house.
"So." Christian said. "Are you and Jennifer doing it?"
"No." Ryan said sharply.
"Ok." Christian said. Soon they reached Justin's house to find him sitting on one of the swings outside his yard. "Hey Justin. What's up?"
"My parents are getting a divorce man." Justin said. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses that he had gotten for Christmas.
"That is not cool." Ryan said. "How are Jimmy and Gwen taking it?"
"They don't know yet." Justin said. "Stacy just got done packing. She's leaving tonight." Soon Justin's younger brother and sister came running out of the house. Jimmy who was five and Gwen who was four.
"Justin." Gwen sobbed. "Where is Mommy going?" She was crying and she had no idea.
"She's going on uh, a trip Gwen. A trip." Justin lied.
"Where?" Jimmy asked.
"I, uh, don't know Jimmy." Justin answered.
Inside the house Stacy's voice could be heard. "Fine Steven!" Stacy yelled. "You lazy bastard! You try to raise the kids yourself!" Stacy Hyde stormed down the stairs and the house's door flung open with Stacy stomping out and taking her car. She tossed her stuff in the back of the car. Soon Hyde emerged and walked over to Justin, Christian, Ryan, Jimmy, and Gwen.
"Hey Justin." Hyde said. "You wouldn't mind looking after Gwen for the next few days?"
"No prob Dad," Justin said. "but what about Jimmy."
"He's going to stay with a friend." Hyde said.
"But Daddy! Why can't I stay with a friend?" Gwen complained.
"Listen honey." Hyde said. "I tried your friends parents but they all said that it was too short of notice and that they'd love to but they just can't. Doesn't the truth suck man?"
"True." Ryan said. "So very true."
"And Justin." Hyde said. "You'll be staying at the Forman's house which means Gwen will be staying in MJ's room during this time."
"Uh huh." Justin said. "Gwen's in good hands man."
Gwen walked over to Hyde. "Bye Daddy." she said and hugged Hyde.
"By Gwen." Hyde said. "Don't let her leave your side Justin, or whoever is with her."
"I won't man." Justin replied. The three friends and Gwen started to walk off into the setting sun.
"Justin." Gwen said. "Where are we going?"
"We're heading over to the Burkhart's to meet up with a friend and then hang out in the basement at the Forman's.
"Cool." Gwen said.
"Dude." Ryan said. "If you sister was older she'd have a spot in the gang for sure."
"What's the gang?" Gwen asked.
Ryan and Christian were shocked when they heard this. "Justin." Ryan said. "How come you haven't told your little sister about the gang?"
"I haven't gotten around to it yet." Justin said.
"Sure Justin sure." Christian said. "I mean look at her. She looks like a mini Jennifer."
"True." Ryan said. "Very, very true." They finally reached Jennifer's house and found Hyde's car outside. "Dude! What's your dad's car doing here?"
"I have no idea." Justin said dumbfounded.
"God Mom!" Jennifer yelled. "Do you have to walk around in only that!" She turned around and found the three guys looking at Jackie and Justin had his hand covering Gwen's eyes.
"Whoa." Justin said. "Your Mom is hot."
"Very hot." Christian added.
"Ryan?" Jennifer said. "Let's get out of here."
"Catch up with you guys later!" Ryan yelled.
"Hello Yackie." Christian said.
"Hello Fez." Jackie said.
"No." Christian said. "It is Christian. My father is Fez."
"Oh." Jackie said.
"Dude." Justin whispered to Christian. "Jackie's hot."
"What'd you just say Justin?" Jackie asked. All she had on was a pair of fancy French underpants and a bra.
"Justin just said you look hot." Christian blurted. Justin punched Christian in the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"
"For telling lies you idiot." Justin lied.
"Justin." Jackie started. "You do know you're a lot like Hyde."
"Who said my name?" Hyde asked appearing beside Jackie. "Oh. Hey Justin! What are you guys doing here?"
"Great." Justin whispered to Christian. "Hyde's as high as a kite."
"Isn't he always like that?" Christian whispered back.
Point Place, Wisconsin
December 30, 1996
6:57 P.M.
Point Place Mall Food Court
"God!" Jennifer exclaimed. "Where does my mom get off with wearing underwear and a bra while Hyde is over and they're getting high without me knowing?"
"Uh." Ryan said. "Maybe it's the fact is that Jackie was high when she took her clothes off." He cracked a smile and sucked on the straw of his soda.
"Oh ha ha." Jennifer said. "Yeah, how could we all forget when you walked in on Donna and Eric having sex?"
Ryan shrugged. "At least I didn't see anything but Eric's back and Donna's boobs." he laughed.
"How can you be so casual about this Ryan?" Jennifer asked.
"I just am." Ryan said. "I don't let things get to me. Unlike you who'll be bothered by her mom not wearing a bra in public."
"Hey!" Jennifer said. "She was wearing a tube top! It didn't look right, and Fez was hitting on her." Jennifer took a bite of her burger and a swig of her soda. "Man. These burgers get worse every time you eat one."
"True," Ryan said. "so very true." Both exchanged a laugh and left the food court heading over to the exit. "So, where do you want to go to now?"
"Anywhere but my place." Jennifer said. "Jackie and Hyde are probably having sex."
"Uh." Ryan said. "How about we go to a movie?"
"Good idea," Jennifer said. "but which?"
"Uh." Ryan said. "They're showing A Christmas Story at one of the local theaters." "But which?" he thought.
"Sounds good to me." Jennifer said. "Let's get going."
''We can still catch the 7:30 one if we hurry over." Ryan said.
"Wait." Jennifer said. "Why are they showing a Christmas movie on the 30th and it's a movie from what? The 70s?"
"We must not question God's mysterious ways." Ryan said. Soon the movie was almost done and the credits rolled. "Man!" He tossed the popcorn in a bag. "He just didn't shoot his freaking eye out. I'm super pissed. $7.50 for a kid getting hit be ice sickles? That movie disappointed me."
"I know what you mean." Jennifer sighed. "What our parents saw in that movie I do not know." She shook when the freezing breeze hit her when the two friends stepped outside. "Man it's cold."
"Here." Ryan said. "Take my jacket." He handed her his jacket and put it around her.
"Thanks Ryan." Jennifer said. Jennifer smiled. "You're the best." The two walked off into the now very dark roads of Point Place. "Ryan. This is really freaking me out. Don't you remember the last time we were out walking after dark at this time of year?"
"The freaks come out at night. The freaks come out at night." Ryan sung.
"Very funny." Jennifer said. "You know what I just realized?"
"What?" Ryan asked.
"Jackie's freaking me out and I'm going near her for some time." Jennifer said.
"Alright!" Ryan said. "Where you gonna stay?"
"I was thinking your bed." Jennifer said twirling her hair in her fingers.
"Alright." Ryan said. "Excellent." Jennifer kissed Ryan and then a huge wham sounded. "What was that?" Jennifer clung onto Ryan tightly.
"It's probably just Luke Millbanks stumbling around trying to get you and get his revenge on me."
"Precisely you ding bat." Luke said.
"Shut up you lesbo feety pajama wearing mommas boy." Ryan said.
"That hurt." Luke cried.
"Let's get out o' here." Jennifer said.
"Good idea." Ryan added. Both ran off into the night with the sounds of Luke Millbanks cries in the air.
Point Place, Wisconsin
December 31, 1996
7:45 P.M.
Forman Driveway
"You two have fun!" Ryan called out.
"We will." Eric yelled back. Eric and Donna drove off and wove at the two and finally driving away which gave Ryan and Jennifer the chance to run up to Ryan's room and make out.
Finally arriving at the Burkhart's Jackie answered the door with Hyde's are around her. "Eric!" she squealed. "Donna! It's so good to see that you could make it!"
"We wouldn't miss it for the world." Eric lied through clenched teeth.
"Now don't be like that." Donna whispered to him.
"Do you guys have your hats?" Jackie asked.
"But of course." Eric said still through clenched teeth.
"Do you have a problem Forman man?" Hyde asked.
"No." Eric laughed. "No, no, no." He pulled his party hat out and put it on his head.
"There!" Jackie squealed. "Doesn't that make you feel better?"
"Oh so much better." Eric lied.
Back at the Forman house Gwen was running a muck through the house. "Dude, we need Hyde here to stop her." Justin said.
"Then call him you idiot!" MJ yelled.
"I will!" Justin yelled. "Where's the phone?"
"Up my magical ass." MJ said.
"Ha ha MJ.'' Justin laughed. "Very funny. Why don't you go on tour with Jeff Foxworthy."
"Just call Hyde." MJ groaned. She tossed him the phone and he dialed the Burkhart's number.
"Yello?" Fez answered.
"Fez. Can you put Hyde on the phone." Justin asked.
"One second candy man." Fez said. "HYDE! THE CANDY MAN WANT'S TO TALK TO YOU!"
"One second man!" Hyde yelled back. He walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Yello?"
"Dad." Justin said.
"Justin!" Hyde exclaimed. "How are you little buddy?"
"Are you dru-" Justin started. "Never mind. Listen, Gwen is running through the house and not listening to anyone. Can you settle her down?"
"Sure thing." Hyde said.
"Gwen!" Justin yelled. "Dad wants to talk to you!"
"Hello?" Gwen said.
"Gwen," Hyde said. "Justin told me that you were destroying things and not listening to anyone. Listen to your brother and his friends."
"Ok Daddy." Gwen replied. She hung up the phone and stopped and sat down on the couch.
Point Place, Wisconsin
December 31. 1996
11:58 P.M.
Ryan Forman's Bed
"Well it's almost time." Jennifer said.
"Less then two minutes." Ryan said. They let almost a minute and a half pass. "10, 9, 8," they started. "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0!" They kissed at zero and then fell asleep together.