Found

A/N: The man she saw looked like Elliot, but it wasn't him. Sorry for the confusion.

She took a deep breath, before slowly opening the door.

"What are you doing here, John?" she asked quietly, stepping aside so he could enter the room, "How did you find me?"

"I know you Liv," Munch said as he sat gently on the bed, "I overheard Elliot telling Don about your argument. Gosh, was he pissed. Don yelled at him for being such an idiot. We all knew you were going to go to Oregon. I mean where else would you go?"

Olivia shook her head, knowing that if they all knew where she was, Elliot would be knocking on her door anytime soon. As if he knew what she was thinking Munch spoke.

"Cragen ordered him not to come after you. If he did, he was going to be written up on insubordination and be fired. Elliot decided not to risk it."

"John, I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll tell you where I go as long as you don't tell Elliot. You can tell anyone else, just please, not him!" she begged.

John looked shocked. In all the time that he had known Olivia, she had never sounded so vulnerable and she had never begged for anything before. He knew when he got back, he was going to do some serious 'talking' with Elliot.

"Liv, what happened?" she asked gently, resting a hand on hers. She grasped his hand tightly, as if it would shelter her from the ache that now resided within her.

"We fought. I mean, the things he usually says, they hurt but this just hurt a little too much." She said, not quite telling the truth but not really lying either.

"Is that all it is?" he asked, knowing full well it wasn't. If Olivia hadn't been so broken, she would have called him on it.

"He preyed on my worst fear. He turned it into reality. I thought I could trust him." She said dejectedly, "I really thought that he cared for me. Gosh, I'm such an idiot." She shook her head, self-depreciatingly.

"Liv, he does care for you. He just wanted you to fight, and when you did he lost control. You have to know that he cares for you. You have to."

Olivia shook her head, and replied stubbornly, "If he cared about me, even the slightest bit, he wouldn't have said those things. He wouldn't have." She repeated, almost as if she was trying to convince herself.

"You know Elliot, you know him better than the rest of us. When he's mad, he says things he doesn't mean, we all do. You probably said things that you regret too." He said, hoping he was right.

"I regret that I told him that I care. I regret telling him that he could always come to me. I regret telling him about my past, but I don't regret telling him to get out and never come back. He hurt me John, he really hurt me."

"Liv." He sighed exasperatedly, "you don't mean that." He paused, watching her shake her head slightly, "You know that you don't mean that. If you really regretted it, would you really be running away? Would you really care about what he thought? You wouldn't. It's because you care and you don't mean that, that's why you run, that's why you're hurt, that's why you're shattered."

"I'm not shattered." She said, knowing that John had her spot on, "I don't care," she saw his disbelieving look, "Okay," she admitted, "maybe I do care, but I am not shattered. My heart might be, my soul might be but I'm stronger than that." She paused, "I have to be." She whispered.

"Liv," he said gently. He knew whatever Elliot had said must have done some serious damage to have hurt her this much, "What exactly did he say?"

"He," she tried to stifle a sob unsuccessfully, and tears rolled down her cheeks. "He said it was my fault everyone got hurt. He said," she paused, as she looked fearfully into Munch's face, hoping not to find any sign of judgment, "He said all I'd ever done in my life was hurt people. Gosh, I can't believe I was so stupid!" she said angrily to herself.

"You know that's not true." John said, trying to keep his anger at bay, knowing it was the last thing she needed. "You help people everyday. You helped me get through my divorce, you helped Fin reconnect with his son, you saved Cragen from the bottle, and even if Elliot won't admit it, you helped him through the divorce. All you do is good, Olivia."

"You're wrong!" she said stubbornly, "All I do is hurt people, I might have done those things, but I hurt you too. I couldn't help you when you got shot. I should have had Fin's back when he got shot and I've caused Don so many problems with IAB. And I don't even need to mention Elliot. I couldn't help him fix his marriage, I couldn't help him with IAB, I couldn't help him from almost getting killed by that rapist, I couldn't help him at the court house, I couldn't help him from getting charged with murder. I couldn't help him with anything. I know I deserved it, but the way he said those things was horrible." She said tears now flowing freely down her cheeks, her eyes red from crying and her nosy incredibly stuffy. "I couldn't - " she continued but Munch couldn't stand it any longer.

"Liv, stop! None of that is true. We're not your responsibility, yet you take care of us, up and beyond the call of duty, and we are all thankful for that, including Elliot." Olivia shook her head determined not to believe him.

Knowing he wouldn't get any further tonight, he said gently, "Why don't you have a nap. I'll wake you in a couple of hours."

She nodded, and moved toward the bed, where John gently tucked her in and kissed her forehead in a brotherly fashion. As he turned to leave, a hand reached out and held on tightly, "Please," she whispered, suddenly terrified to be alone, "don't leave me!".

"I won't. I promise, now go and get some sleep."

A few minutes later, he heard her breathing even out. Making sure that she was fully asleep, he got up and went to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and taking out his cell.

"Cragen," the voice on the other side said anxiously.

"Cap," Munch began, "It's not working. She actually believes that she deserved those things he said to her. I don't know what to try now."

"Have you tried telling her all the good she's done? How she helped people? That we love and support her? Have you - "

"Cap, trust me, I've tried everything I know. You know Liv, once she's stuck with one idea, she's stuck with it. Elliot has been the only one who was able to change her mind, or comfort her when she was depressed, but he's kind of out of the question in this case."

"No, actually, that might be a good idea."

"What? Get them to fight so he can hurt her more? Great idea." He said sarcastically.

"No, get him there, show him what he's done to her. Maybe it will open his eyes a little."

"I dunno, I don't think she's strong enough for another brutal encounter with Elliot."

"John, you know Olivia. She'll start to self destruct if we don't do something soon. It might be brutal, but she can do two things now. She can either come back with him, or she can completely cut him off. Both of which, would be very beneficial to her and help her to move on."

"Okay. What time will he be here?"

"Morning. I'll get him to call you when he's arrived."

They both hung up. Munch opened the bathroom door to find Olivia standing outside it, looking worried.

"Who will be where when?" she asked, having some idea what the answer was going to be and not liking it.

"No one. It doesn't matter, Liv. Go back to sleep." He felt horrible lying to her, but knew it was only for her benefit.

"No. Tell me!"

"Don will be here tomorrow."

"No he won't. Elliot will be. I know you better than that. I thought I could trust you Munch, but you lied to me, just like HE did."

"Olivia, it's for you. It's to help you."

"I don't want your help. Leave me alone." He said turning her back on him and ducking back underneath the covers of the bed.

"Goodnight, Liv." He said gently, before seating himself in a chair knowing that tomorrow was going to be brutal for her. He just hoped their plan would work.