Heart Ache

The following day, Elliot arrived in the precinct, very upbeat. Sitting across from his partner, he realized that she looked the worst he had ever seen her. She was pale, had red, puffy eyes, black rings under her eyes, and her shoulders were slumped as though she had the pressure of the world balancing on them.

"Morning," he greeted, his upbeat behavior now gone.

"Detective," she greeted coolly.

"Look Olivia, I know that I hurt you and that you're still sore about it, but can't we get past this?"

"Not now, maybe never. But while I still love you, we can only be work colleagues. You are more than welcome to tell me whatever is going on in your world, just don't expect me to do the same."

"I really didn't mean -"

"I know!" She cut him off, frustrated, "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. It's my fault for falling in love with a man that could never feel the same. I don't need you to keep rubbing it in. I get it, you don't want me, and I will get over that. In the mean time, don't expect me to give you praise and be happy that your ex-wife wants you to come home as well."

"What? How? I mean… I don't -" he broke off, looking confused.

"Don't deny that you've been dying to tell anyone that will listen that you got the woman who stole your heart back. I'm happy for you, I really am." Before he could contradict the obvious lie, Olivia, stood and headed for the crib, making it quite clear to anyone that she was not to be disturbed.

Noting John's expression, Elliot looked at him angrily.

"What?"

"I thought you understood, Elliot. I thought I explained it all to you yesterday. Do you know what she's doing up there?" Noting Elliot's lost expression, he answered his own question, "She's crying, Elliot. She's crying over the fact that she really doesn't have a chance at all at your affections."

"But she said she wants to be a friend to me. That I could tell her about my life, as long as I don't expect the same."

"She might say that, and she might mean it, but that doesn't mean that it won't hurt her."

"God, Munch. When did my life become something like a fucking soap opera?"

"Look Elliot, think about what you did last night. You really want to go back into a marriage that you know is going to fail?"

"It won't fail. I'm going to change things. I'll make it work this time," he said with absolute conviction.

"What? You're going to go home on time? You're going to not respond to a call in the middle of the night? You're going to actually talk to your wife? Elliot, all of that might be ideal and good but do you really think that is going to work."

"Yes, because that will happen," Elliot responded, once again convinced that his marriage could work.

"I've been married three times, it won't work. And before you go making more promises to your wife, think about what you've just lost." With that comment, he left a confused Elliot pondering his last statement.

In the meantime, Olivia sat in the crib, wondering yet again why she was crying over the same man. She had cried so many tears in the last few days that it was a wonder that she could still cry. Her eyes were continually sore, her nose stuffy and red, but she couldn't stop. The pain in her chest wouldn't go away, and she was starting to think that coming back to New York was a mistake. However, before she could continue her current train of thought, the door to the crib was opened and Munch walked in.

"How're you holding up?" he asked.

"How do you think?" she replied angrily, before sighing, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"It's okay, I understand. It's really brave of you to come back, you know that right?" he asked, sitting down beside her and pulling her into a gentle hug, which she returned, burying her head in his neck.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I know it's only been two weeks but I thought it would get easier, you know? And him going back to Kathy, I'm happy for him, I am, but it feels like he's throwing it in my face," she broke down, and sobbed heavily, "I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do!"

"Shh, it's okay," Munch consoled, feeling the prickling sensation of tears behind his eyes, "It will be okay."

"Munch, what do I do?" she asked, as she pulled away, "I just want to forget, for it to all go away, to go away and never come back, but I can't. As much as I want that, I can't."

"Hey, come on, we'll get some coffee. And as for leaving, it will get better, Liv. I talk from experience, the pain will go away somewhat."

"Thanks for the advice and the offer, but I think I'll pass. I got to get back to work," she smiled gently before giving him one last hug and leaving alone in the crib.

For the next few months, Elliot and Olivia's relationship was still strained. Munch continued to be the comforter to Olivia and the interpreter for Elliot. Fin and Don, who although knew about the situation were kept out of the loop, as neither could provide the right wording or comfort nor explain Olivia's seemingly irrational behavior to Elliot.

However, during the last few months, the stress had been overtaking Elliot, making him more liable to make mistakes, more prone to angry outbursts and violent behavior and this behavior was generally accompanied by hurtful insults directed mainly at Olivia.

The stress of not having Olivia to comfort him, not having her to help him, and not having her to go to for advice about his marriage among other things was making her the target for his anger and although he knew that he was to blame for this change, it didn't change the fact that he was angry and she was the only one who would withstand the abuse and insults he hurled at her.

The fact that his attempt at a successful relationship with Kathy wasn't working didn't help either. For the first few weeks, everything was wonderful and idyllic. The family would be together from six in the evening. They would have dinner with flowing conversation before moving to the living area to watch television together before the kids drifted off to their respective bedrooms to complete homework and such, leaving the two adults alone. Their relationship was crazy, the moment they were alone, they would make out like crazy teenagers before moving into the bedroom and continuing to the early hours of the morning.

This fact didn't go unnoticed by anyone, particularly not Olivia. Apart from the fact that she was dealing with an irate and tired Elliot Stabler, she was also angry at having to be the one to cover his ass on so many occasions when he couldn't work because he had to be home, making out with his wife.

The following month after moving home, Elliot began to work more, spend more time at the office, and leave Kathy once again at home, looking after the children. Kathy, meanwhile, was sure to go out of her way to make sure Elliot knew that he was falling back into his old ways. Although aware of this, he made no effort to stop and by the end of the third month, his and Kathy's relationship had come to a grinding halt, a fact that had not escaped John Munch's notice.

"What's going on?" he asked, watching Elliot drain his third coffee cup in ten minutes.

"Kathy and I are on the rocks, again," he sighed.

Munch, not entirely believing this was the problem, questioned him, "That all?"

Elliot shook his head, before he began, "It seems like everything is going wrong. Olivia, work, Kathy, the kids, the case; it's like the world is conspiring against me," he laughed sourly, "Now I sound like you."

"Look, Elliot -" Munch began but was cut off by the ring of Elliot's cell.

"Stabler," he barked into the device.

"What? Kathy, I'm at work."

"Yes, I understand that this is important, but I can't leave now."

"Alright, ALRIGHT. I'm coming."

Elliot groaned, "Can you cover for me for a while?" However, before Munch could respond, Elliot simply said, "Thanks," and took off, leaving Munch wondering how Olivia had ever put up with him.

The moment he arrived home, Elliot knew something was wrong. He walked into the living area and discovered Kathy, sitting with a distinct frown on her face.

"We need to talk," she stated.