Hello everyone, Ciel the Hedgehog here! Dandylions decided to make this story a collab between us, so we'll be alternating chapters. Right now, it's my turn! Sorry for getting it up late, but I hope you enjoy it!

Just like the lobby, the halls of the "Mental Hospital" were all painted white. Every now and then there would be a chair, a door, or a picture on the wall, but that still didn't cloak the eerie feeling Bark was getting.

He kept telling himself this was a mistake. Someone else was the criminal, and they had just mistaken him for the real thing. That was it. So why did he continue to follow this so called "doctor" through this place?

"'Kay, so here is the room where 'Group Therapy' will take place," Rozik explained, pointing absently at a door to the left. "Miss Inia's going to be in control of that. She's a nice kid, I s'pose." Bark nodded.

"So where are all the other patients?" He asked. The white hedgehog shrugged.

"How the hell should I know? I'm a physician, not a baby sitter." A black gloved hand almost reached into the pocket where Bark suspected the vodka bottle to be, but decided against it. "Nothing else to see here; let's keep moving."

The two figures continued on the tour, though the place was surprisingly desolate. Bark had suspected there to be loonies around every corner, all of them twitching and babbling incoherently. There weren't, however, save for one lone figure up ahead. Bark peered over his tour guide (which wasn't hard, considering that the bear was at least a head or two taller than the guy), and was both surprised at what he saw, and at the same time, it made complete sense.

"Hey, it's Bark!" The figure was a green-feathered duck wearing a red neckerchief. None other than Bean the Dynamite, though he seemed to be lacking the dynamite at the moment.

"It's a wonder he isn't in a straight jacket," Bark thought to himself, though he was glad to see the guy. "Hi Bean. You're here too?"

"Yeah!" Bean exclaimed. "I've been in here a few weeks now! It isn't that bad once you get used to it." The duck turned to Rozik. "What's up doc?"

The hedgehog's creepy pair of black eyes glared at Bean. "I'm going to disembowel you if you say that again," he growled. There was a pause as the doctor tried to regain his composure. "Seeing as you two know each other, how about you finish giving Bark the tour, Bean? I have some…work I need to finish." The hedgehog practically ran off after saying this (surprising, Bark thought, for someone drunk like that), leaving the duo alone.

"You know what's silly Bark?" The dynamite asked as the duo walked through the hallways a few minutes later.

The polar bear sighed. "What's silly?" A stupid answer was probably next.

"They put me in here for blowing stuff up. Can you believe that? I blew one house up, and they got mad at me for it. So I went back with an apology gift, and then they put me here! Wasn't that silly?"

"…Exactly what was your 'apology gift'?"

"A bomb. It didn't go off, though." Typical Bean.

"Lovely. Anyone else here we know?"

"Nack! Nack's here!" Bark nodded; that wasn't unexpected. In fact, it should have happened sooner. The weasel was a bit touched in the head, and prisons were easy for him to escape from. Besides, Bark was here for being criminally insane (at least, the person he was in for was), so why not Nack?

The polar bear suddenly stopped. Bean, who was behind him, ran right into him. Rubbing his beak, Bean looked around to see why his buddy had stopped. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but they could hear footsteps.

"Who's there?" Bark asked suspiciously. A muffled voice answered, but it was hard to understand what was said. "Speak up. Who's there?" This time, the duo heard the words.

"In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke!" From behind them, a cow emerged. Not just any cow, mind you, but a black-and-white cow dressed in a classic cowgirl get-up. She stood there, smiling. And smiling. After a few minutes of this, Bark started feeling rather paranoid.

"Who are you?"

"In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke," the cow replied.

"That's Elsie," Bean explained. "She says that whenever someone asks her a question, no matter what the question is! Watch." With an excited look, the duck walked up to Elsie. "Elsie, how much Diet Coke do you drink in Cyberland?"

"In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke!"

"With bunnies?"
"In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke!"

"Two?"

"In Cyber-" Suddenly, a large needle was poked into the cow, and she fell asleep. Bark blinked, confused.

The owner of the large needle was a black cat. She was dressed in a nurse's outfit, which wasn't too different from Dr. Rozik's, except for a skirt instead of pants, and a small nurse cap. Oh, and the large needle. On the cat's shirt, a small nametag read, Natalie Barlow. Intern; Physician Assistant.

"Damn loonies…" Natalie glared at the two remaining patients. "What do you want?" Bark raised an eyebrow. This lady sure didn't seem like a nurse type. Then again, the doctor wasn't very doctor-ly, now that he thought about it.

"Nothing. We're just passing through."

The nurse eyed them suspiciously, and then grabbed Elsie by the collar, dragging her away. Bark thought he caught the word "straightjackets" under her breath.

Lovely. The first patient he had met was even worse than expected, and the staff seemed like total bastards. "Great," Bark thought sarcastically, "Just great. Maybe they even let the insane killers walk around free here, instead of placing them in straightjackets!" Suddenly remembering that the person he supposedly was had been a murderer, he decided that this was a good thing if he ever wanted to escape out of here alive. And sane. Sanity would be a good thing to keep here.

"Uhmm, excuse me," Bark heard, as someone poked him on the shoulder. "Are you new here?" The bear turned around to see the next resident of this hellhole. It was another hedgehog, this one being black with yellow stripes, and dressed in a white shirt and boots. Two things immediately stuck out as being odd: a large pair of wings on the boy's back, and a set of unusually sharp teeth.

"I am new here," Bark replied. "Are you one of the doctors here?" He seemed nice enough to be normal, excluding the wings and fangs.

The boy shook his head. "No. My brother is, but I'm a patient. Name's Ciel; nice to meet you!"

Ciel extended a hand (which, Bark noticed, had rather sharp nails), which the bear shook. "Bark." He looked over at Bean for an explanation.

"Ciel's in here for schizophrenia," The duck explained. "He has this voice in his head that's really, really freaky. I've only seen it once, but they had to keep him in a straightjacket for a week!"

"…the jacket was kinda' comfy," Ciel muttered nervously. "Don't worry Mr. Bark, he doesn't come out too often." He seemed to think about something for a second. "Oh yeah, he'd like to say something to you!"

"And that would be…?" Much to Bark's surprise, the boy's eyes suddenly turned red, and he grabbed Bark by the nape of the neck, bringing them eye-to-eye.

"My name is Paranoia," the voice explained in a deeper, sadistic sounding tone. "And you, my friend, are not going to interfere with anything I do, understand? Otherwise, I may just have to…shed some blood, may we say?" Bark slowly nodded. "I'm glad we understand each other." The eyes went back to being yellow, and Ciel let go.

Second loony down, Bark thought glumly, and who knows how many more to go. Neither Bean nor Ciel seemed to notice what had happened, seeing as they were now chatting like old buddies. Our favorite polar bear decided to leave, seeing as Bean could talk for hours, when he heard the classic ding! Of an intercom turning on.

"Alright, one sec…" Bark recognized this as Dr. Rozik, who sounded even more drunk than before. "All you loonies…I mean, patients…please head over to the Group Therapy room, alright? Get moving." The transmission ended.

"Oh, the therapy room!" Bean exclaimed. "This session's probably to introduce you to everyone Bark! Come on, let's go!" Grabbing him by the arm, Bean ran Bark through the hallways, leaving the bear to wonder what he was getting into. Maybe this meant he really was stuck here. Question was, would his sanity stay here with him?

Dandylions here. Me and Ciel the Hedgehog are co-writing this story, so I'll be writing every other chapter. Anyways, reveiw and praise Ciel the Hedgehog's awesomeness!