Chapter 5: Trying to Talk Sense

I can just hear you groaning after the last chapter; oh Lily, what are we going to do with you? Lol don't worry; the title of the chapter was selected to calm your nerves, but I'm not sure if you'll still feel soothed at the end of this one…now, you know this drill, but I'll repeat it anyway: none of this is mine, only J. K. Rowling's, leave me a review at the end, and enjoy!

Note: Sorry for reposting this; I realized after I posted it that it had some errors I wanted to fix before you saw it. Apologies!

"Hey Lily; are you all right now?" James asked the moment I reentered the room.

"Yes," I said truthfully, beaming as I sat down in my chair. "I'm feeling much, much better."

"What was wrong?" Mrs. Potter inquired as she continued eating.

"Just had to get a few things straightened out; it's nothing big," I said imperturbably. "I know what I'm doing now."

"That's always a good thing," Mr. Potter agreed. "I wish I knew what I was doing sometimes."

"My life's been a bit screwed up lately; I empathize completely," I said.

"Care to share why?" Mum asked. "Maybe we can help."

"It's nothing really," I said, trying my hardest to blow it off. "It doesn't matter. I'm fine now. I'm back on track."

"Lily, you've been acting quite odd," Mum observed. "Are you sure you're all right, sweetie?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I chirped. "So…what's been going on lately?" I asked the Potters, trying to change the subject.

"Nothing really," Mrs. Potter said, sipping her drink. "But we do have to go to Diagon Ally to get James's schoolbooks soon. We always seem to forget."

"Like last year, the night before we were supposed to go to King's Cross, James started panicking, realizing that we had completely forgotten about his books!" Mr. Potter shared, laughing. "We started freaking out, but Lisa Apparated over and managed to get them just before they closed. Poor James nearly had a heart attack."

"Really?" Normally, I would have started laughing and asking for more insight on James's not-so-glamorous home life, but I felt kind of bad for him. I knew how it felt to have your misfortunes shared, so in a moment of uncharacteristic kindness towards him, I said, "Well, it's all over now, so we might as well forget about it."

James shot me a thankful smile, and I blushed, but kept my eyes on his parents, trying to find something else to say.

"Well, Michelle, how has life been going for you?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Petunia got a persistent cough last week which would not go away; Lily and I caught it as well," Mum said. "We were all in bed for a couple of days before Lily got well and tried to take care of us."

"Are you all right now?" James seemed to have asked my mother this, but his eyes were on me.

"Yes, we are," I answered. "Thank you."

"We also saw that film in the cinema the other day," Mum said, reminiscing. "That horror movie; Lily dragged us out to see it."

"We were thinking about seeing it; was it any good?" Mr. Potter questioned.

"I didn't like it; too much blood for my tastes," Mum said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. It looked just like when James did it, but somehow, it didn't work for my mother anymore. I liked it when James wrinkled his nose, not anyone else.

"I thought it was good," I said after I pushed my thoughts of James's nose away. "It wasn't even that gory; what they did have was completely fake."

"You like horror movies?" Mrs. Potter seemed impressed. "I didn't know that. James hates them; he insisted on coming along to one when he was eight and threw up afterwards. He doesn't watch them anymore."

It sounded just like my swimming incident when I was young. I didn't want to say anything though, because I knew that it would be kind of rude, and since my stomach was behaving itself, I didn't want to be rude.

"I'm done," James announced at once, his cheeks turning pink as he put his plate away in the sink.

"I am as well," I said, pushing my unused plate away and getting up as well. James didn't want to hear anything more about himself, and I wanted to be with him over my mother any day; it worked out.

"Good; would you care to join me outside then, Lil?" He offered me his hand and I took it, allowing him to take me to the backyard.

"So what made you faint today?" he asked me as soon as we were alone. I knew that he had been dying to ask me, which was probably why he left the table so early. James was never one to beat around the bush; he preferred just getting right to the point, which he was demonstrating now. Despite the fact that I knew all of this though, I was rather hesitant in answering his question.

"S-stomach problems," I partially-lied. "You heard my mother; I hadn't eaten much in the morning."

"Was that all of it?" His smile was knowing; how had he figured it out? First my mother, and now him; was I really such an open book?

"I was a little besieged with other things too, like anyone else might be," I said, though I wished that I would just stop trying to tell him otherwise. He knew everything; he just wanted me to say it. I wouldn't break down. I was nobody's girl, and I knew how to take care of myself.

"Your mum mentioned earlier that you'd been kind of quiet lately," he said, trying a different angle.

"Did she." We would definitely be doing some talking during the car ride home.

"Yes; but she also said that you burst into tears when you found that you were coming tonight," he said, blushing crimson by that point. "I think I have a right to know why."

"Why do you take pride in stalking me?" I demanded, pacing around the area. "You have no business squeezing information out of my mother, so I'm not even going to answer this one."

"Lil, I'm concerned, like my mother is!" he tried to tell me. "Can't you trust me?"

No, I couldn't; I would be tempted to give myself to him, and I couldn't. I had to be nobody's girl. That was why I said quite shortly, "No; you are the very last person that I would trust, James, and you know it."

"Do you want me to just be open with you for a second?" His voice scared me; he seemed to have lost his newly-discovered polite layer, and he sounded almost angry.

"Lily, you know me better than anyone – even my parents – because I care about you. I'm never like this, as you've undoubtedly noticed; I've been really patient. In turn, I just want to know what's wrong. Something is bothering you. I've told you before; you're a horrible liar. Now tell the truth; why are you so unsure of yourself?"

"You can't do this to me," I insisted. "You can't get through my guard. I know what I'm doing now. Something had been bothering me, yes, but I know how to fix it. I'm okay, so will you please leave me alone?"

"If you honestly answer why you fainted today, I will try, to the best of my ability, to leave you alone," he promised. "Now tell me."

"I don't know why I fainted," I said. "I hadn't eaten much today, and I was a little confused. That's all." It was all, but it amounted to much more than it seemed to.

He picked up on that. "What you were confused about was obviously something huge; do you want to tell me what?"

"You don't understand me; you don't know me," I said. "Don't pretend that you do."

"No, I don't know you, but I'm trying to," James said. "Will you please stop biting my head off?"

"I am nobody's girl," I exploded. "No one can tell me what to do! No one can do a thing to me!"

"Wait, what?" His nose wrinkled in the most darling way I had ever seen. "What do you mean you're nobody's girl?"

"I don't belong to anyone," I said. "No one can tell me what I can and can't do. No one can question me if I don't want to answer."

"Why are you so defiant? What are you trying to hide?" Ugh; why did he try so hard? I wasn't going to tell him anything.

"I'm not hiding anything," I persisted. "There's nothing to tell. I told you what you wanted to know, so leave me alone!"

"Fine," he said unexpectedly, throwing his hands up in the air. "I give up. I tried talking some sense into you, but it's not working. You win."

I looked at him in confusion, so he clarified, "I'm done. You win. You don't have to tell me anything."

"Well…good, because I wasn't going to," I said, trying to sound tough again. "You aren't the boss of me."

"I understand and acknowledge that," James said. "I won't make the mistake of prying into your business again." He got up to retreat back into the house, and I sat down on the swing on the other side of the yard, feeling horrible.

I had blown it. I was so stupid; why had I been so crazy when I had been talking to him? Maybe it was the way my stomach twisted and crumpled whenever he spoke directly to me; I hated that feeling, which kind of frightened me. I guess I tried being defiant so that it would go away. Well, I'd gotten what I had wanted; so why did I feel so crummy now?

I swung moodily, thinking about what I wanted to do next. Should I go back inside to face my mother and the Potters? Should I look for James? What would I say to either of them? I didn't need to say much to my mother – she was easily occupied – but James wasn't the same way. What would I say? I was sorry that I was such a bitch? I guess that was one way to go. I sighed, frustrated; why was I always in this type of a mess?

I decided to go and look for James. Maybe that would stop the ache in my stomach. I hoped as much; I hated the feeling. I guess that it was time to get up, swallow my pride, and apologize. Ugh; I hated doing all three of those things at this time of night. Why oh why did fate enjoy tormenting me like this?

I still stood by what I said before as I went to hunt down James; fate was such a bitch.

I couldn't resist throwing that joke in again. :D It was the ending to the first Dinner Guests story, if you recall. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will read on to the next one! Lily has some painful apologizing to do. Hehe. And don't forget to leave me a review! The more reviews I get, the faster I update. :D