-+-A Thousand Shades of Gray-+-
+The Shade of Family+
"There's this darkness deep inside, that flows through my veins
An emptiness that hides, where the past will remain
This locked up emotion, my blood-red hate
Burning my soul, and destroying my faith
The shadows they whisper, telling me to let go
But it's hard to forget, what had made me explode …"
- "The Devil's Angel"
- Me!
Sitting against the wall on her new bed staring out the window, Raven felt the moonlight shine on her and couldn't help to feel so lost … so alone … so out of place. Bad enough she struggled with this feeling with her friends, separated from them made her feel even more of a blemish on the sun. Rolling her head back to staring up at the ceiling, she sighed and closed her eyes, but not to sleep, no, just to think … to escape reality for a moment into her comforting sanctuary.
Yet … even that didn't help, his voice was still echoing and telling her over and over, reminding her time and again that she was his and there was no way out. Making her feel even more so trapped between the boundaries of her mind and her life … there was no line. There was only a blur and it hurts so much to try and deny the fact that she was alone. No one … but no one can understand the fear deep down inside … the fear of herself, of her Father … of being alone …
Click!
Raven glanced over at Jamie's side of the room, noticing that she had turned on her nightstand light, looking at her and hugging her pillow. The blonde tilted her head and smiled wearily, "Hey … why you still up?"
"…" Raven at first didn't answer, just immediately brought up her mask of indifference and turned away to stare at her bed sheet, then responded quietly, "… not tired."
"Go figure," Jamie sighed and rolled on her side, propping her head up on the palm of her hand as she tiredly yawned, "I took you for the insomniac type, Robin's the same way."
It took Raven a moment to realize that Jamie was talking about X, and not Teen Titan Robin … that could be very confusing she noticed as she shrugged, "Not surprised, he's a thief."
"Is that the reason why you don't like him? Because he's a criminal?"
"No … I can't stand people like him."
"'People like him'? You don't even know him," Jamie defended softly and Raven scoffed.
"I know him well enough to be the type to think he can get away with everything."
"… I think you judge people a little too quickly," Jamie sat up and swung her legs over the edge of her bed, but didn't get up, just sat there with Raven, her blonde hair messily draped over her shoulder and cascading down her back. Raven felt her own hair paled in comparison to her pretty silky hair as Jamie flicked it back over her shoulder, "Shit girl, I bet, if you were a little more trusting and smiled more you'd get a lot of guys fawning over you!"
Raven sneered her violet eyes glowing in the dim light, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not into attention."
"I know! I'm just saying … you got real potential," Jamie smirked, "yep … I bet you're a secret smile!"
"Secret smile?"
"Yeah! There's the Cutie Smile that tells people you're a bit shy, but flirtatious and willing to participate in almost anything, I'm a Cutie Smile. Then there's the Mischievous Smile that tells people you're up to no good all the time despite the sincerity of the smile, Robin has that one hands down! Then the Bubbly Smile that's cheery, perky, typical ditz girl/guy with no clue about what the real world is really like. A Secret Smile now … is usually small and completely sincere, but with a secret emotion hidden behind it … almost flirtatious, but not. Yeah … I think a Secret Smile matches you."
Raven blinked, then blinked again and rolled her eyes, "Do you hear yourself? Cutie, Secret, Bubbly Smiles? I'm sorry if I woke you up, but you sound sleepy."
Jamie picked up her pillow and threw it at her; Raven was so shocked at the move that she stared at Jamie wide-eyed as she laughed, "You're so stale!"
"Stale? Spoiled bread?"
"A slang my brother and me use which means you're lame, buzz kill, the rain on our parade."
"Oh … sorry for the let down."
"Girl, you really gotta loosen up them pantyhose and live a little! It wouldn't hurt to flirt with a guy or two, go clubbing, hell make the most of your stay here!"
"I'll pass …"
"Aw com –"
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Jamie open up!" Jamie jumped to her feet to answer the door and come to find that it was X, Raven narrowed her eyes in suspicion when he looked like he ran the marathon wearing a plain white shirt and jeans with his mask on he panted, "Pack your stuff up we gotta go."
Jamie shook her head, "Wha … why! What's going on?"
"Remember that Pendant I stole, and said that I sold it to the Dago Family?"
"Yeah …"
Raven frowned, Pendant? The Pendant of Infinity?
X shrugged, "Apparently they found out it was a fake, real rubies don't break I guess."
"ROBIN!" Jamie screamed in utter disbelief, X took off into the living room to shake Otto awake, while Jamie slammed the door shut and growled in complete annoyance, "Damn him! Damn him to hell and back - NO! HE BETTER STA HIS AS IN HELL! GRAH! Come on Raven, pack it up, we gotta go, in a minute this whole place is going to be pumped with led."
In record time Jamie and Raven got dressed and loaded up whatever suitcase they could get their little hands on. Which were two big luggage – most of them were Jamie's things – tossing them out in the hall Otto and X immediately grabbed them and the four all made their way down to the garage. Where Raven spotted a black Escalade, Otto popped open the truck tossed all their stuff inside and went over to the driver's side, "Hey, Rob, what's the plan, where we goin'? I mean … this is the Dago Family you pissed off this time … I think –"
"Hawthorne Garden Court …"
There was a yelp on the other side of the car, it was Jamie, she had apparently missed the step to climb into the Escalade and tripped, she would have eaten the ground if Raven hadn't have helped her up. Jamie thanked her, climbed on board and leaned over her brother to stare at X, "Hawthorne! Are you for real? I thought you said you were disinherited!"
X sighed and shrugged, "I lied."
Jamie growled, "Well you seem to be making a habit of that!"
"I'm a thief."
"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!"
"Um … mind telling me how I'm supposed to tag along?" Raven asked and X walked around the car to see what she was talking about and the both of them glared at Jamie who's belongs filled up the entire backseat.
Jamie shrugged innocently, "What?"
"Shit," X growled and Raven looked up at him, already knowing what was coming next, "alright, Raven you're coming with me."
"Like I have a choice."
Jamie waved them off, "Good-luck Rob, Rae!"
She closed the door and Otto drove them away X lead Raven deeper in the garage and where she found the X-bike, she had to furrow her brows and ask, "Does everybody here turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to who you really are?"
"The place has a don't-know-don't-ask-no-worries attitude," Raven knew the drill and mounted the bike after X, expecting him to just take off like he usually does, she had to rethink his plan of action when he just sat there, "sorry angel … but it looks like you're gonna see what it's like for me on a regular basis."
"Can't wait." She heard the roaring of various other motorcycles, X turned his on and Raven leaned forward to wrap her arms around his waist, and took a deep breath as he gripped on to his handle bars. Raven prepared for anything as X carefully rolled them out of the garage and into the street. There he looked to the left and saw three motorists sitting in wait, Raven hoped to God X knew what he was doing when he revved his engine and caught the attention of the bikers. They immediately jumped on their bikes and raced the X-bike when he took off down the street. Raven frowned, "You can out run them, why are you doing this? Whoa!"
Gun fire, X swerved a bit to avoid it them, then gunned the engine and set in a fairly good distance between them and their pursuers. More gun-fire even as they turned the corner, Raven narrowed her eyes and turned around. Holding onto X with one arm she held out her other hand to the motorists, her eyes glowed, not white, but black and her hand generated her normal black magic. Yet … she could feel something different deep down inside her gut, there was a shift in her power, "Azarath … Metrion … Zinthous!"
Black flames sprouted from the ground as she cracked the pavement and watched as the three motorists lost control of their bikes and fell into the ground. Now, this would be the part she'd just leave it open for a chance that they could come out a live … she was still a Titan after all … but … something happened, "My dearest daughter … you … are … mine!"
She fisted her opened palm and the pavement closed up … leaving no trace of it ever having been disturbed. X raised a brow, but didn't question it as she wrapped both her arms around him and stayed quiet through out the entire ride. Straight out of the suburban setting, further away from the city till Raven noticed that they were cruising through some remote location. Zooming passed the trees with nothing but the moonlight as their guide alone the dark road that had fallen leaves on it. The leaves whipped up and like magic they danced around the bike before once again plummeting back to the ground after the wind had vanished.
She even noticed X had slowed down a bit, as if he himself had to enjoy the magic of the night … but … when Raven spotted a 20 foot wall up ahead and on a gold plate inscribed: Hawthorne Garden Court. The memory of some kind of "inheritance" popped into Ravens head and she noticed next to the black steel gates, parked the black Escalade, Jamie rolled down her window and waved, "Hey! That was pretty damn fast! What'cha do?"
X snickered, "Angel over here cracked the pavement, you figure out the rest."
Cracked the … ah! Jamie stared at Raven for a moment then blinked in disbelief that such a girl who looked no stronger then herself could do such a thing, Whoa … kind-a makes you wonder what else she can do … she gulped and shrugged, "Cool … now whaddya say you open up for us hmm?"
X's smirk dropped as he parked up at the gate, he looked up at Jamie and Otto and sighed, "You guys continue down the road, my aunt lives in the next house, she likes visitors just say my name and she'll be ecstatic to have you."
"Wha –! You mean we don't get to live in the bigger house!"
"Jamie, just go."
"No fair …" Jamie sat back in her seat and told Otto to go, in a matter of minutes they were gone.
X looked up at the security cameras, then glanced back at Raven then sighed and announced out loud what Raven figured was a voice activated password, "Robin Eli Xander."
His full name … so it is Robin … Raven thought to herself and it was proven when the gates opened and X rode in his shoulders rigid, in fact, his entire body was stiff. Very hesitant, willing to turn around and gun the throttle just before the gate closed. He still had a chance … he could still do it … he could … the gates closed, he was stuck and it was most certain when he had to ride down the curving driveway up to the courtyard. Straight to the Spanish steps … beautiful home … no, it wasn't a home.
It was a frickin' castle!
By what Raven could tell … there was some kind of celebration going on, X stopped and parked the bike right in the front of the steps. Glaring at the closed doors he scowled, "They're hosting a ball … stay behind me and don't say anything, don't even breath."
Raven nodded as he dismounted and she followed after him, he stuffed his hand in his pocket, but not before taking off his mask … she could tell he was trying to be discreet as possible about that mask thing, but she spotted him anyway. Up the stairs they went and through the doors, the servants that stood and tried to stop them froze and bowed in respect as X just brushed passed them. Raven stayed close, but couldn't help to take notice of the very regal air, the place dripped of lavish things that probably coast way more than she did.
A grand staircase just off to their left lead up to some sort of indoor balcony with doors on either side, under the balcony was a long hallway that lead to the South Wing of the mansion. To their left was a room Raven guessed was living room or a parlor with another hallway probably leading to the West Wing because to their right as another room with another hallway that was the East Wing. Bottom line, the place was huge!
"Master Robin," Raven and X both turned around to the servant, her voice meek, like a little mouse with her hesitation to look into their eyes she blushed awkwardly and informed X, "Um … your … your family is in the Ballroom … entertaining the guests."
"What's the occasion?"
"Your mother and father's 21st Anniversary."
X snorted and before Raven could look up and see his face he turned away from her to glare down the East Wing hall, "Expected it to be bigger … somewhere else, maybe Europe."
"They wished to keep it small."
"Yeah right …" X walked towards the hall and Raven followed, leaving the servant girl to back down into her rank with the other maids, which immediately began to gossip about the sudden arrival of "Master Robin".
Raven sighed, and looked down at her state of attire, a long sleeved skin tight blouse with the sleeves pulled down to the sides, black shorts with her trademark golden belt that had the red jewels on them hanging off her left hip. All toped off with every day converse sneakers, she prevented an embarrassed groan when she realized X was going to expose her to high-society just the way they were dressed, Oh … I got a bad feeling about this.
In no time at all the murmurs and music from the Ballroom was becoming quite evident, and as Raven slowed down with X she glanced up at him and cringed at the two gold ring earrings on his left ear. She bet that wasn't protocol for an heir to whatever fortune his parents made. Then it hit her like a 16 wheel truck, He's rich … and he has parents … what? She herself couldn't believe it, it just came to her and it made her stomach lurch at the fact that she was going to met Red X's PARENTS!
It was hilarious … in a very … sick … twisted … way.
"X," Raven grabbed a hold of his elbow and jerked him to a stop. He didn't turn to face her and she knew why, but that didn't stop her from asking, "maybe this isn't such a good idea … I'll wait at the stairs."
"They'll find out about you sooner or later, might as well get it done and over with."
"Not like this!" Raven hissed, not wanting to be heard by the crowd of people she knew were not 5 feet away from them, "It's going to look bad if we both go in there. They might think … I don't know! Something bad!"
"Don't worry so much, the worst they'll think is that I got you pregnant or something."
"WHAT!" Raven slapped a hand over her mouth; she didn't expect herself to yell so loud or for her voice to echo even X cringed and a few people nearest the hall glanced at it in curiosity. Raven whispered harshly, not believing how he said that so casually! "Why would they think that!"
"Because I vanished for over a year and a half, long story, let's just do this it's not like you got anything else to loose."
"What if someone recognizes me?"
"Your hairs grown out, it's tied up in a ponytail and the lights dim enough to portray it as black."
"I have gray skin …"
"You're a witch, use magic, but we're going in there whether you like it or not."
He was determined to get through this … and Raven found that he wasn't going to change his mind, so sucking it up and trying not to look too out of place – which was impossible. X walked the five feet it took till he got to the Ballroom, and the moment he showed face the people standing close to the hall gasped in shock and it created an interesting wave of fascination.
Whispers circulated and sooner or later the music stopped.
Across the room was a beautiful couple, a woman with radiant looks that paled Raven in comparison to her, her skin naturally tanned and flawlessly silky. Her bright blue eyes seemed to glow under the lights of the Ballroom and her gown that accentuated her curves, bareback and trailing dark blue that highlighted her eyes. Her dark brown hair pulled in various perfect curls and pins still flowed along with her dress as it fell passed her waist and touched just beyond her bottom. Full lips, healthy flushed and perfectly made-up face, her lips parted and her face expressed sudden shock.
Her delicate hand rested on the man beside her shoulder as if to steady herself within the heels Raven knew she must have been wearing. The man … beautiful, handsome, however anyone would call him to be, he had incredible charm and charisma. His dark brown eyes and black, neatly gelled hair went perfectly well with his perfectly pressed tux … he was a looker, great posture, hell he had the air of a confidence in him – slight arrogance – but more positive confidence. He looked in the same direction as his wife, and Raven knew … the two had to be X's parents.
The man, narrowed his eyes on his son and discreetly, he sneered in disappointment, whispering to himself, "Well, well … what a coincidence … should I call this an unexpected gift … or unwanted trouble?"
"Leon," his wife whispered, pleadingly, yet warningly as she looked up at her husband with those deep blue eyes of hers, "please … don't start anything."
"That boy's nothing but trouble, Lola and you know it."
"But he's still our boy …" Lola confirmed and Leon shrugged in dismissal, as if it didn't matter and gestured for the music to keep playing and under their master's orders, it did.
The party commenced as if nothing happened, and X's dark look only grew darker as he slipped on his mask and turned away from the party, "See … you worry too much."
"That's it?" Raven glanced back at the Ballroom as X lead her back out into the parlor, "We stand there, music stops and that's it?"
"Yep …" he plopped down on the couch and slipped his hands under his head, seeming to be sleeping as he sighed heavily and stared at the ceiling, "Now we wait."
And wait they did …
Raven sat on one of the stools to the bar and couldn't help to stand when she found that the party was over because all the guests were leaving. Each one of the guests stared at her and X as if they were some kind of hoodlums that shouldn't be there … then turned their noses up and left the premises. It only took about 10 minutes until every single guest was gone and X's parents, walked right by them as if they weren't even there. Preferring to see their guests out, make final small talk, and finally closing the door … and that … was when the air in the mansion grew thick and un-breathable as X got to his feet and leaned on the thrush hold of the parlor.
Raven tried to stay out of the picture as she watched the father stand, patiently slipping his hands in his pocket, the mother clasp her hands in front of her. The three just stood there … silent … tense … and unbelievably cold. Maybe not from the mother, the mother suddenly cracked a hesitant smile as she walked up to her son who had grown passed her height even with her heels on. She stood before him and stared at him as if saddened that he had to wear a mask.
Then ... Raven had to wonder, Does his family know who his alter ego really is?
She kept the question to herself as herself as listened to Lola's kind - nearly hypnotic voice - whisper breathlessly, "Oh … Robin … it's been so long …"
Under the mask Robin glanced at his father and then rolled his eyes with a sarcastic scoff, "Apparently not long enough."
"Can somebody, please, explain to me," Raven took notice of the power behind the father's voice, it boomed around the echoing mansion and the servants standing before the door quivered at the threat of loosing their job behind such a voice, "how, he got in my home?"
Robin sneered, "Isn't it obvious? I came through the door."
The mother sensed a looming confrontation, "Robin, please."
The father's eyes pierced straight through his son's mask and pinned his soul to the far wall with a very hard look, "You can be sarcastic all you want, but you're not off the hook just yet for what you did awhile back. I'm just wondering what kind of an idiot would even come back after stealing from his own father's company. You're a disgrace."
"Hey," Robin held up his hands in mock defense, "I'm only human alright, and besides, you could always disown me. It'll be a lot easier to handle the press that way than to actually defend me."
"Robin," the mother intervened, "you're our only son, it's not easy to disown a child even still."
"Bullshit –!"
The father scowled, "Watch your mouth."
The son ignored him, "I bet you give that bastard over there the chance he'd have me thrown out in a second."
"You're damn right I will, as a matter of fact, call security! Get this street-rat out of my sight!"
"Leon! Robin! Stop this right now! This is ridiculous the way you two are acting! I will not have my family torn apart again just because of some silly mishap that happened over a year and a half ago!"
Robin sneered, "Sorry, Lola, but it's a bit late for the blood-is-thicker-than-water speech … that crossroad's come and gone."
Lola, surprised Raven when she turned on Robin and with her manicured nails, long and sharp she slapped her son across the face. SLAP! It didn't scratch him, but it left a very obvious red mark, he kept his head tilted, his breathing picked up and Raven could sense ... not sadness, embarrassment, or frustration ... but unbridled rage building up inside. Yet, when she looked at Lola, the mother was crying, full of regret and sadness … Raven felt her questioning her abilities as a mother. Questioning where she had gone wrong in the past as she cupped her son's face and had him look within her crying eyes, "Robin … I'm sorry I … we failed you … but despite what happens we'll always be here to help you. Don't ever think otherwise."
"…" it took a while for Robin to respond, but when he did, he pulled away from his mother and sighed, "I need a room … two actually, just until I can find another place … I won't be here too long."
Lola's hesitant smile returned and she walked back to her husband who looked off to the side and refused to look his son in the eye as Lola glanced at Raven and that was when her presence was finally acknowledged. Even Leon noticed and he had to raise a suspicions brow as Raven stepped into the light and Lola put a hand to her chest, "Oh … hello there … I'm sorry you had to witness all of this. Well … I'm Lola Xander, nice to meet you, and this is my husband Leon Xander …"
She held out her hand to shake, Raven found that she had to cross a world away to clasp hands with X's mother and actually get a chance to feel how soft her touch was. So delicate, Raven almost considered her to be made of glass as she pulled away and introduced herself as, "I'm … Raaaa … um … Rae … Rae Roth. It's nice to meet you Mrs. Xander."
Raven impressed herself at the quick save as she turned to Leon and took his hand, a firm grip, and sealing shake, he nodded at her, but still held that suspicious look, "What are you to Robin?"
She knew he'd ask that, keeping a cool head she answered calmly, "I'm just a friend."
Then, there was that smirk … Raven now found out where X got that cocky smirk of his, his father mimicked it so well it scared her as he chuckled the same way too, "My dear, any female that my son brings home is never just a friend to him. You don't have to be so modest."
In the back, X grumbled, "Why the hell is that everyone assumes every girl I'm with is my frickin' girlfriend!"
Taken back, Raven shook her head and assured Leon, "Oh-no, sir, I'm really just a mutual acquaintance, nothing more."
Then, it turned playful, and like that the air was cleared as Leon grinned, "So my son's not good enough for you, is that it?'
Lola giggled, X banged his head on the wall, and Raven's eyes bugged out, This is not happening to me … this is seriously not happening to me! "Mr. Xander, I assure you, I am in no way intimately related to your son, and neither am I looking for any such affection at the current moment."
"But you are considering right?" Lola giggled even more and Raven found it torturous the way they were teasing her.
"Uh …"
"Lola! Leon!" Finally X butted in, "Can we just have the rooms already! This isn't funny."
Lola laughed with her husband as she nodded and straightened, "Of course you can … Miss Roth can have the room right next to yours."
"… But the South Wing is supposed to be my entire wing …"
"Yes and you said so yourself, you won't be there for long, so … I don't see a problem."
"This is …" X somehow restrained himself from cursing and stormed towards the South Wing, Raven figured she should follow and did in a hurry considering X was taking rather big strides, "You're right … we shouldn't have come here."
Raven caught up to him and asked, "You stole from your father's company?"
"…"
"…Why?"
"… He deserved it." he said with much resentment.
Raven blinked, "Deserved it?"
"He's a greedy son of a bitch that thinks he's my father."
"… He's not your father?"
"Anyone ever tell you ask too many questions?" X came to a screeching halt in front of large dual doors, white with golden intricate designs of what appeared to be roses, leaves, and other rather feminine things. For a moment Raven questioned if this was really X's room, but when he opened it and waited at the thrush-hold, gesturing for her to enter. She knew it was hers, glancing at him with a bit uneasiness, sensing a sort of drowning sensation within his chaotic aura.
Raven slowly went in, but from the corner of her eye shot him a curious look, "You know … the apple never falls far from the tree …"
X scoffed, "But if the trees on a hill that apple can roll its ass far away … he's not my father, we're not staying long, so don't get too comfortable."
Click!
He closed the door and left her standing before a room that was fit for a princess … beautiful in every material sense. A bay window that looked over what Raven could only guess was a field … a few stables … she blinked and crossed the rather circular room to look out the window that reached the high dome like ceiling. Through the darkness she could make out the dim light of the horse stables … they raised horses! She wondered faintly if X knew how to ride … but found the question to be irrelevant to her situation.
Sitting upon the cushion of the bay window, she glanced over at the biggest bed that she has ever seen … she was for sure that there was none like it because it was in the ground, three flat steps needed to be taken in order to get to the silken sheets. Pillows surrounded the entire circular bed and Raven sighed, It's beautiful alright … but it's cold … everything. A white and gold and toffee and maybe a little cinnamon red here and there color theme made a futile attempt at warming the place … even real white lilies to help scent the room didn't help cover the fact that it was all a candy coating.
The silence …
The dead silence is what made the room feel vast and empty despite its well furnished state. Raven sighed again, and laid on the bay window, staring at the door across from her, feeling her eyelids growing heavy; she yawned and slowly drifted to a sleep that had eluded her earlier. Only, this time, around her neck a black mark started to appear … but only so faintly that it was hard to see with the human eye.
((--))
Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, you know that already.
A/N: Sorry this took awhile, I had to revise the rest of the story – oh yeah, have I ever told you guys I always have chapters lined up and ready to serve for you? No? Well, you know now. So just keep those reviews coming and I'll keep working on the story, you all already know how much I love your comments.
XOXO
L8er daez!
(Oh and by the way … X's middle name is pronounced with a long 'e' sound and 'lie' ee-lie, just incase you didn't know, because I knew a guy once with this name – that's why I chose it to begin with I thought it was funny – they kept pronouncing his name wrong saying Ellie, instead of Eli. Shrugs. Whatever.)
L8er!
Oh yeah, and ... if things are getting boring or slow, please, don't hesitate to fill me in, because I get the feeling that I'm not ... delivering ... as much as I should.;)