Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star. I do own some of the poetry and the songs used

Chapter 4: Reasons Why

I had almost fallen asleep on Tommy's shoulder went I heard thunder in the background. I opened my eyes to a flash of lightening and it made me jump a little.

"I thought you loved thunder?" Tommy asked me. I shot him a look and I felt a kick come from inside my stomach. My hands flew to my stomach and I gasped in pain. I think the baby was doing summer salts. "You all right?"

"Yeah, the baby is flipping over and over again in my stomach." I said out of breath. Tommy leaned in close to my stomach and began to sing.

"It's in the silences,
the words you never say
I see it in your eyes,
it always starts the same way
It seems like everyone we know,
is breaking up
Does anybody ever stay in love, anymore?

I closed my eyes as he was singing and I realized who the song was about….


I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am

ooh I see you look at me,
when you think I'm not aware
You're searching for clues,
of just how deep my feelings are.
How do you prove the sky is blue, the oceans wide?
All I know is how I feel,
when I look into your eyes

As he continued to sing, I let his voice ease the pain that the baby was doing when it kicked me. Listening to Tommy sing made every inch of pain, of doubt, and of fear leaves my body.

I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything that I am ooh yeah

Oh there are no guarantees
That's what you always say to me
But late at night I feel the tremble in your touch
Oh what I'm trying to say to you,
I never said to anyone I Promise

I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
(I do my darling I promise you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again

With everything I am I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
( I love you I love you I love you I love you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am

You're everything I am oh yeah
With everything I am" He stopped singing and he kissed my stomach.

"That was beautiful Tommy." I said with a tear in my eye. He saw it and we kissed it away.

"I was saving it for later but, it seemed like the perfect moment."

"This child is going be a music guru." When I said this I laughed a little bit.

"You're right about that. Do you know the sex yet?" He asked me.

"I was waiting for a time when it wasn't so hectic to find out. I'm supposed to go tomorrow but, I'm cancelling the appointment."

"Why?"

"Our main concern is Jessica, at least for now."

"Yeah, and you too. Look I know everything that has happened has thrown you for a loop but, you have to go to that appointment and I will make you go if I have to." He said. I loved it when he cared and I didn't want him to be distracted from Jessica though, I mean she is his daughter and we do need to find her.

"Fine, I'll go. But, I'm not going to bed yet mainly because I slept for six hours earlier." I stated to him.

"Fine." He said and he kissed me before he walked inside and started to cook dinner. I sat out on the swing for a little while and I watched him through the window cooking. I loved to watch Tommy cook. Fro what I could tell he was making chicken primavera, which was one of my favorite dishes.

Watching him made me realize that I shouldn't have waited for ten years for him; I should have gone after him the night that he left. But, that was my fault and my mistake. I was glad that he accepted that I was wrong and that he never held it over my head. It took me fifteen year to marry him, and I wasn't going to let him go.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I looked at the caller ID and it was either Chaz or Mason, they were roommates in a loft in New York.

"Hello" I said into the phone.

"Hey" they both said to me in unison.

"So long time no talk." I said.

"We heard about Jessica, is there anything we can do?" Mason asked me.

"I'm not sure, it's been three days and we're still looking hoping to find something."

"Just to let you know we are coming out there." Chaz said to me, which was really the last thing that I wanted.

"Yes we are we are actually at the airport now in Toronto so we'll be there sooner than you think." Mason said and he hung up the phone. I put the phone back in my pocket and I walked in the house.

"You might want to make more of that?" I said to Tommy as I closed the door.

"Why?"

"Mason and Chaz just called. In light of recent even they are coming here and they are at the airport now."

"As in the New York airport?" He asked hopefully.

"Nope the airport as in the one about ten miles away from here." I said.

"They were never good at not being nosy."

"Nope, they will be the first to know besides Sadie, the band and Kwest." I said. No one really knew about me being pregnant, and I wanted to keep it that way.

"Well this is going to get interesting fast." He said.