Disc.: Own nothing.
Author's Note: Still a little rusty. The first draft of this chapter had too much information, so I had to cut it in half at the last minute. I apologize if the writing still isn't up to par, but on the bright side, this is a pretty quick update!
Oh, and thanks to my two reviewers. Very encouraging. And I apologize for my errors, and you should probably expect more of a similar nature. I've never pretended to be a perfectly canon writer in the technical sense, although I wish I was.
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Saturday, January 13
Hexed Snape in the hall today, right after lunch. Pretty therapeutic, actually, to watch Snivelly's expression as his hair grew at a rather speedy rate. James found it entertaining, especially when Peter tripped over Snape's hair and fell into it. He might've drowned in there, had Remus not stepped in. The little bugger even performed the counterspell and fixed Snape up, and for all his thanks he only got a whispered, "Half-breed." I was all for choking the greaseball, but Remus said that some people are too proud to show gratitude. James found that even funnier than Snape's extra-long locks, and said, "Wow, Black, he might've been talking about you!" But he was only joking; I could tell that combined with my little tell-all a couple days ago, this prank had won James back to my side.
Probably won't last long, though. Especially considering the glares I'm getting from him right now. We're sitting by the fire in the common room, and James is playing Peter in chess. It's really just an exhibition of James' talent at the game, so he can afford frequent stares in my direction. The only one who can beat James at chess is Remus, and he wouldn't play tonight. Said he had some extra work to do, probably left over from his absence last Thursday.
James doesn't like to see me writing in this. It's as plain as the beak on Snape's face that James hates that I still cart my emotional baggage around in this little book, but what the hell.
---
"GO, SMITH, GET THE QUAFFLE!" James shouted during the Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw on that Saturday.
There was a general roar of disapproval as Smith fumbled the Quaffle, and Ravenclaw put it away.
James muttered curses, both magical and non-magical, and gripped his wand. "If McGonagall wasn't here…"
Remus reached over and pulled James' wand away. "You would be sitting here, behaving nicely," he said firmly.
"I don't know, Remus," Peter said sadly. "I'm all for hexing the eyebrows off that Smith, it's the third drop he's had this game."
There was a groan from James.
"Don't remind him, Peter," said Sirius in a mockingly wise tone. "He might explode."
The four boys had arrived at the pitch just in time to snag a quartet of seats in the seventh row. The game had been widely discussed towards the end of the week, but now it was quite clear that it was going to be an easy win for Ravenclaw.
"When I get on the team, I swear, we will win at least one damn game!" James seethed.
"All right, all right," Remus said, still clutching James' wand. "Let's just get back to the common room. There's no point in watching this, and it's making even me a little angry."
Ravenclaw's side cheered at another successful score.
Sirius laughed at James' crestfallen expression, and lazily took in his surroundings. When a tall, black-haired figure in Slytherin robes began to leave the Quidditch pitch, Sirius took it as a sign.
"Come on, Potter, I know what'll cheer you up. Our favorite Slytherin is all by his lonesome, want to go give him a good time?" Sirius said. He was already rising, and James quickly followed suit.
"Coming, Remus? Peter?" James asked as the two boys moved towards the exit.
Remus sighed. "Yeah, let's go."
Sirius grinned doggishly, as yet another collective moan rose from the Gryffindor side. As the four boys darted away from the angry crowd of Hogwarts students shredding their red and gold pennants, Remus paused and sniffed the air. "Storm's coming," he said absently, earning a curious glance from Peter.
Snape paused at the entrance to the castle, and quickly whipped around. "Stay back," he warned, brandishing his wand, "and don't try anything!"
"Oh, but we would never hurt dear old Snape, would we?" James said with a laugh.
Sirius shook his head in mock sincerity. "Of course not, he's one of my close friends.
Snape sneered. "I thought you of all people would know to leave me alone, Black."
"Yes, well, you thought wrong."
"You might want to reconsider that, unless you want to explain something to your filthy little friends."
James glanced at Remus, and then said, "Come on, Sirius, let's just hex him and move on."
Sirius dropped his outstretched, wand-bearing arm. "Nah, forget it."
With a satisfied sneer, Severus Snape practically floated into the castle. James, Remus, and Peter all turned towards Sirius, but there was nothing to be learned from his blank expression. Even Remus, who normally encouraged Sirius and James to avoid confrontation, was completely confused by Sirius' sudden change.
The grin that had spread across James' face at the thought of a well-hexed Snape had disappeared completely, and as he turned towards Sirius. "Uh, Sirius, care to explain?"
"Not particularly."
And Sirius shut down totally as he made his way to Gryffindor Tower. No one could get a single word out of the tall, proud boy, even as the night bore on.
---
The Gryffindor common room appeared empty to a passerby, but that was not so. In a darkened corner, beneath a frayed banner depicted a roaring lion, two boys sat in close conversation. Neither seemed to be pleased with the other; in fact, the conversation was quite heated, albeit hushed. It was almost as if the two Gryffindors were hiding something…
"Well, James, what exactly did you expect?" said Remus.
"Oh, I don't know," James answered coldly. "Maybe a departure from His Royal Highness' usual superior attitude?"
Remus sighed. "We've been over this, all three of this. Even Peter agrees that we're not going to get Sirius to change overnight. And I know he's in an awful state today, but come on, James…That letter from his father probably wasn't inviting him home for tea."
"And I suppose you blame me for not being sensitive?"
"It wouldn't hurt to anticipate his moods a little bit, but once again, I've told you that!"
"Yeah, you have," James said as he rose. He paced around, pointedly avoiding Remus' gaze.
"Well, we made some headway. He did tell us about what happened over the holidays, and-"
As Remus spoke, James froze and abruptly aborted his rapid pacing. "Oh, yes, precious Sirius' holidays. Yeah, I wasn't exactly pleased with him spouting that crap in front of a bunch of Slytherins. And then waiting to tell us, well that was right brave. I guess he had to record it in his diary first."
"He didn't have a choice," Remus said, in a tone that suggested that this phrase was becoming a repeated refrain. "It's like I've said, just show a little concern…"
"I refuse to tiptoe around him. He's just like the rest of us, Remus, and that's something you've got to learn!"
With that, Remus stood. "All right, James. I give up. I'm going to bed, okay?"
"Fine," James muttered. "I'll be up in a bit."
Remus headed for the stairs, and as he mounted the carpeted steps, he tripped into the darkness. James turned around as a dull thud echoed about the room, and saw a sight that might have been amusing in another situation. Remus had ended up draped across Sirius Black's lap.
"Oh, Sirius…" Remus said quietly. "It's-"
Sirius laughed shortly. It was that manic laugh, and James and Remus alike noted it. "It's exactly what I thought it would be," Sirius said. "Look, let's just go to bed. I'm damned tired."
Exhaling, James relaxed a little. He had expected some scene, just like the many before. But Sirius seemed oddly in control, and that was something that James appreciated greatly. Remus tried to meet James' eyes in a questioning look, but James fixed his gaze determinedly on Sirius' bobbing back. As the three boys slid into their dormitory to join Peter in well-deserved sleep, James gripped Sirius' shoulder. With an encouraging nod from Remus, James spoke in a quick, rushed voice.
"Sirius, it's like I said last week, we're friends all the way through. I'm just not like Remus and Peter, I just can't sneak around you like I'm waiting for an explosion, you know?" James winced, for he knew that his impromptu speech sounded callous, but Sirius merely nodded and turned away.
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Thursday, January 18
I've gone and messed things up again. I'm getting tired of the constant battle. I don't want the burden of friendship. I'm so tired of hearing Remus say that I've just got to be more open. I'm so tired of watching James go from liking me to despising me, and taking Peter along with him. When is everything just going to be easy?
But that's the thing, isn't it? Nothing is easy, while you're living.
So I've got to get things together. The Snape situation, well, that can wait. I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to shut him up, but he seems to have taken care of that himself. Plus, who is going to take slimy little Snivellus seriously? The real cure for keeping him quiet is to just keep making fun of him. Two birds with one stone. And if that's settled, then I can focus on being a semi-normal person.
And I guess even semi-normal people don't scribble away in diaries. Maybe I should take a break from this.
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Author's Note: Hope you liked it. Oh, and just to calm you down: SB's departure from his journal is not permanent, but it's something that I'm trying out. I'm planning to keep journal entries to a minimum, and only use them as a medium to get some of SB's more complex thoughts across. Let me know how it plays out, but please be patient.