Title- Here Without You
Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)
Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'
Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)
Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.
Chapter 15- Lorelai (August 28th 10:14 A.M)
I would like to dedicate this chapter to MoonlightGardenias because she gave me the idea for this chapter.
There was something definitely off with him, I noticed as I hung up my cell phone with a confused look placed upon my face. Lately he just seemed so, off. Like he couldn't wait to get off the phone with me. It was just, not Luke. Damn, I must have done something wrong. I certainly didn't mean to, given the fact that I had absolutely no clue what the hell I did.
During the last four calls, especially the one I had just hung up on, his side of the conversation seemed so forced and he seemed so awkward. And earlier when I asked what was up with him, he abruptly mumbled something about having to go and hung up.
I sighed and threw the cell phone my hand was clutching into my purse and gathered all my papers Michel needed me to sign into one neat pile in my right hand as my left hitched the purse I was holding over my shoulder.
I needed to fix this. I was going on a road trip to Maine.
"Hey, Rory?" I called out somewhat urgently as I entered the house. After Rory got back we had talked, a lot, and we came to the conclusion that she was staying with me for the rest of the summer before going back to Yale.
"Mom?" She asked, surprised, as she came out of the kitchen with a half eaten tub of ice cream in her hand. "Shouldn't you be at work?" She asked, baffled, as she watched me search through the drawers in desk that was in the hall.
"Yes," I told her, still looking frantically throughout the desk.
"And you aren't there because?" She asked slowly, letting the sentence hang.
I turned to her, smiling crazily and told her my amazingly untought-out plans. "I'm going on a road trip!" I announced excitedly.
"Are you having a mid-life crisis?" She asked in a scared voice as she set her ice cream down and walked over to me slowly and grabbing my hand to guide me over to the couch.
"No, I just- do you know where I put Luke's address?" I asked, trying to sound casual, though I knew Rory would read along the lines.
"You're going to Maine?" She asked surprised.
"Well, yeah," I shrugged, as I tried to get up and walk over to the desk, but again, Rory pulled me back to the couch.
"Why? Is Luke okay? Is it Liz? Is she getting worse? Is she dead? Oh my god, how's Luke taking it? I bet he's depressed," She said hurriedly, not allowing me to slip in a word at all. I watched her face flash with distress and sadness and I felt bad for even letting her think this had happened.
"Honey," I said, smiling sympathetically and resting a hand on her hunched shoulder. "Liz is fine and as far as I know, so is Luke. He's just been a little distant and quiet lately and the inn isn't that busy so I decided what the hell, I've never been to Maine, why not go and visit Luke," I told her, this time getting up and successfully walking over to the desk.
"Oh," She said, convinced by my lack of reason. "You know, I don't think you put it in the desk," She told me as she walked over and leaned against the wall next to me.
I looked up at her and pushed myself off the ground, giving her a questioning look.
"Didn't you store it under your pillow?" She asked in a knowingly vague tone accompanied with a small smile.
I tried to scoff at the assumption, but it came out as a throaty-choke-like-sound. "I did not," I told her indignantly as I climbed the stairs that led to my room.
I heard her steps following my and I could hear the smile that shone in her voice. "Oh yeah? Then why are you going upstairs?" She asked, trying to tease me.
"I," I said, spinning around to face her abruptly, causing her to almost stumble and fall down the stairs. "Am going to pack for my unexpected road trip." I told her, turning back around to continue up the stairs.
"So if I checked under your pillow, I wouldn't just happen to find a former diner owners number and address?" She asked mockingly as we walked into my room.
"Well you might, but you also just might find some things you'll regret later on," I told her with an intrigued voice and mischievous smile.
I heard her footsteps stop suddenly as she paused in thought. I smiled at her confusion and not even five seconds later she groaned in disgust. "That's gross, I don't even want to know,"
"Well maybe I'll tell you when you're twenty-one," I told I searched for a bag-like item to hold my stuff.
"I still won't want to know when I'm twenty-one." She said to me determinedly and still slightly grossed out.
"Stop thinking about what's under that pillow and help me pack," I told her teasingly, as I whipped a bag at her from the back of my closet and turned around just in time to see it almost hit the lamp next to my bed. "Rory!" I scolded in a mock-frustrated tone.
"Yes, mother?" She questioned tiredly from the dresser that contained my pajama's.
"You were supposed to catch that," I said, pretending to be ticked off as I gestured to the bag.
"What on earth possessed you to think that I would actually catch that?" She asked flatly as she walked over and placed a pair of sweatpants and tank-top in the bag.
Ignoring her response, I walked over with a pair of jeans in my hand and swiped the sweatpants out of her hand. "Not these," I told her, handing them to her as I put the jeans into the confines of the bag,
"Why not?" She asked puzzled, still holding the pants in her hands.
I grabbed them from her and walked over to the dresser containing my other pajama's, "Because I've worn it in front of him already," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"You wore pants in front of Luke that had sexy printed on the butt?" She asked smiling.
"You were going to let me wear pants in front of Luke that had 'sexy' printed on the butt?" I shot back, trying not to allow my face to flush. I still hadn't told Rory about all the times me and Luke had spent together over the summer.
She apparently let the comment slide because she came up with yet another question. "When did Luke see you in those pants?"
"Oh, you know," I said, trying to sound dismissively as I went around and looked for a shirt for tomorrow.
"No, actually, I don't. But I would like to be informed," She said, walking back over to my pajama drawer.
"Well over the summer, Luke spent a couple nights at the inn and we watched movies together in his room and I just happen to be wearing those pants," I said, vaguely, not allowing myself to tell Rory any other details.
"Really?" She said, intrigued.
"Yeah," I shrugged, acting as if that were it.
She gave me a look over and eyes me suspiciously. "Okay." She drew out slowly.
"Hey," I said suddenly. "Do you want to come with me?" I asked with a smile.
"Sorry," She said sympathetically. "I have to pack and stuff, you know Yale starts in about a week,"
"Yeah, and you still have a whole week to pack, come on the trip with me," I suggested again. "This time, we'll remember the music and it will be even better than last time,"
"Nah, I'd rather not," She said uncomfortably, causing my suspicions to rise a little.
"And why is that?" I asked, sitting on the bed to stuff the blue shirt and black overcoat into the bag that the space inside was growing smaller, it seemed, by the second.
"Well, you know," She said, shrugging awkwardly as she grabbed a pair of socks and underwear from my dresser, slowly bringing it over to me.
"No, I don't actually," I told her, trying to subtly reach under my pillow to grab Luke's address without letting Rory see.
She mumbled something incoherently and sat down next to me, folding the underwear nervously and unnecessarily.
I gently placed my hand on hers and took the flimsy piece of black silk out of her hands to put in my bag. "What?" I asked, softly, trying to understand her nervousness.
"Jess," She blurted out, startling me.
"Jess?" I asked, confused. "Oh, right, Jess," I repeated, understanding her uneasiness.
"Yeah, we didn't end on such great terms last time so," She shrugged and stood up, trying to act normal.
"Right the 'I love you then escape in the car', thing," I mumbled, following in suit and standing up beside her.
"That wasn't the last time," She told me, facing the dresser while collecting some necessary essentials like a brush and minor make-up that wasn't included in my purse.
"What?" I said, stopping my place abruptly.
"The night I ha my last final at Yale, he was on his way to Maine and he ended up stopping by." She told me quietly. "He asked me to come with him to Maine and we could get our own place. He told me he loved me and that if I didn't love him, he'd leave and wouldn't bother me again," She explained, walking back and forth from the dresser to the bad.
"Wow," I said, floored by her declaration. "And you didn't go," I said stated obviously, trying to get over the fact she hadn't told me.
"I didn't go," She agreed with a nod, the meaning behind the fact is that she's done with Jess, and she doesn't love him. Thank God!
"Okay," I said, deciding it was time to change the subject. "I'm going to get some last minute things in the bathroom while you finish up in here. It's like a four hour ride, I think, so if I want to spend any time there tonight, I better hurry up." I told her, hurrying out in the hall to release a breath of relief. Though she picked Dean, a married man, it wasn't Jess.
"Okay, bye kid, I'll probably be home late tomorrow, but I'll call you if there's any change of plans." I told her as I threw the bag higher over my shoulder.
"Okay." She nodded, though still seeming a little off ever since our conversation about Jess.
"Why don't you invite Lane over tonight? You guys haven't spent much time lately," I suggested. "Talk, catch up, have a couple beers and throw a party."
"I'll think about it," She said with a small smile. "Have fun, and tell Luke I said hi," She reminded me, again.
"I will, bye hun," I told her with a small hug, then I was off to Maine.
As soon as I was on the road, mapquest directions sprawled out on the passenger seat beside me and the radio on; I started to contemplate what I was going to do once I got there. I hadn't really thought this out well. The only complete thought I had was to see what was going on with Luke. But now I was wondering where I was going to stay, if he was mad at me, would he even talk to me? By the time I got there, he'd probably be at work. So I decided that I would stop by and see what was up with him before anything else.
As I turned onto Oakwood lane, the street name Luke had let slip out in one of his rants during a phone call, I noticed the building set back a little, small and shady. No wonder why no one shopped there. It was sort of scary looking, though there actually seemed to be a customer or two parked out front.
I pulled the jeep up to the curb and sat in the silence. I finally took a deep breath, released it somewhat steadily and got up and out of the car, throwing my purse over my shoulder in the process as well as checking my hair in the rearview mirror.
I tried to walk casually up to the door but the inside of me was screaming with anticipation. I hadn't seen Luke, my best friend, since June. And I had missed him, a lot. As I approached the door I noticed Luke leaning against the counter, smiling. At another woman.
My heart clenched tightly and I sucked in an involuntary breath. He was smiling at another woman. He seemed to be flirting with her, too. He wasn't supposed to flirt with other woman. Especially tall, blonde ones that seemed to be reciprocating the feelings and oh my god did he just touch her arm? Now I felt hurt, like he betrayed me for some reason.
Jealous actually seemed to be an understatement, and I was admitting it freely.
I tried to recover quickly, setting on a brave and determined face as I braced myself to open the door. Hopefully ruining their moment together, I though bitterly as the door swung open, startling the two of them and ending their conversation immediately.
"Lorelai," Luke noted gapingly, as I nodded silently, slowly walking over to the counter. "Wh-what are you doing here?" He sputtered, confused.
"I came to see you," I told him with a shrug, acting as if it was nothing.
"But- why?" He asked a skeptic look on his face, mirroring his tone.
"Well," I began, trying not to let my nervousness show, or stare at the woman who was eyeing me suspiciously too long, "You've been distant lately and I haven't seen you since June and the inn was slow so I decided, why not go and visit Luke?" I explained while fingering the necklace he had sent to me just over a week ago, hoping he would notice. He did.
"Oh," He said, tearing his glance away from me and looking at the woman in front of him. "Allie, this is my friend, Lorelai," Luke introduced, seeming rather reluctant.
"Hi," She said, ever so politely that it made me want to hit it. She was flirting with Luke. My Luke. No one but me was allowed to do that. She extended her hand and I begrudgingly accepted it.
"Hello," I said with a tight smile trying not to let my eyes shoot the daggers my mind was picturing at her.
"So I guess I'll see you around, Luke?" She asked, beginning to walk away, flashing him a smile what made me want to gag.
"Yeah, I'll, uh, see you around," He agreed a little distractedly.
They exchanged their good-byes and not a single word was uttered from me until the door was shut and she was gone. "What the hell was that?" I blurted out angrily, slapping him on the shoulder for emphasis.
"What was what?" He asked, seeming taken aback by my words as he rubbed his arm.
"You and her. Flirting. You can't flirt with her!" I yelled, hitting him again.
"And why is that?" He shot back. "Because she drives a Volvo? Because, lately, I don't know, I've been finding them revolting." He said, shrugging sarcastically.
"You just- can't." I yelled, frantically shaking my hands all over the place, hoping Luke would understand me.
"I can't," He repeated, looking smug at my loss of words. I glared at him and began pacing irritably in front of the counter, my gesturing hands flying everywhere.
"You're not supposed to flirt with her! Or any other woman as a matter of fact! It was me you kissed!" I cried out loudly, then instantly regretting it. I stopped in my tracks immediately, not even daring myself to look up at Luke. We had gone so long without mentioning it and now- I blew it.
"What?" He asked- him being stunned was just an understatement.
"Nothing," I mumbled, shaking my head and turning away so I could avoid him seeing the blush rise in my cheeks.
"You do know you're the one who ran away," He informed me in a defensive tone, though he sounded so calm about it. I hated that about him.
"Well you kissed me first!" I yelled, trying to remain calm but I couldn't. He was acting like it was my fault. And it wasn't. He started it.
"So since I kissed you and you ran away and we never talked about it, I can't go around and flirt with other women?" He asked, sounding amused as to how I could get myself out of this.
I turned around slowly and walked up to the counter, hoping to pout my way out of this conversation. I didn't have a clue what I was going to say- I mean, what do you say when your best friend kisses you then you run away. Oh yeah, and he also said he loved me. I could use that against him, I though firmly as I took my place directly in front of him. "Yes," I told him, trying to sound firm.
He looked shocked at my boldness. "But yet, you've flirted with me numerous times over the summer," He reminded me, wringing his hands nervously on a paper towel set on the counter.
"Huh, I guess I did," I confirmed, acting as if I just noticed. Truth be told, I had no idea what I was saying and I felt that at any second I'd throw up from the nerves.
He was staring at me in utter disbelief. I couldn't blame him, though, just seconds ago I was screaming and pacing and now I was calm and still, acting all casual. It was fun to mess with his head. "So," He began slowly, walking around the counter and leaning his back against it beside me, so close I could almost feel the heat radiating off his body. "If I can only flirt with you, why did you run away?"
That's the million dollar question. I had no clue why- it was probably because I didn't want change; I was scared of the consequences, and most likely, I was really confused. "I don't know," I mumbled quietly, not allowing myself to face him.
"You don't know," He repeated dumbly. I nodded numbly, vaguely aware of the seriousness of this conversation.
"Well, I was scared," I told him softly, allowing myself to be vulnerable for a second. I slowly turned my head to look at him and saw him looking at me, really looking at me. Like he was trying to remember every feature on my face. His eyes were so intently focused on my and his soft face seemed so relaxed. I instantly calmed my deliberately beating heart by focusing my eyes on his.
And then, he kissed me.
Authors Note- I didn't expect it to end there, but it seemed a good place to stop. I thought I needed to clear a little up with Rory so I added her in, but I didn't mean to write so much. I promise the next chapter will be all Luke and Lorelai.
I decided to set a goal for myself. 200 reviews by the time the story ends. Help me make it all the way. And don't expect an update soon, I have no idea what the next chapter will be.
I wouldn't mind any suggestions so you have to review and tell me how you liked it. And remember- the more reviews means the faster the update.