Title- Here Without You
Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)
Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'
Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)
Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.
Chapter 18- Lorelai (August 28th 7:12 P.M)
After a well made dinner by Luke- seriously, who knew he could make food other than what's served in the diner? But after the dinner and the awkward small-talk at the table, Luke and I resigned up into his bedroom immediately because I honestly didn't want to waste any of my limited Luke-time.
"So what is there to do in this town?" I curiously wondered, sprawling myself across Luke's amazingly comfortable queen sized bed, which I noted has extremely soft and fluffy pillows.
He sighed then shrugged, sitting down beside me, obviously clueless. I mean, the guys been in this state for how long and he seems to know nothing about it. "Nothing much," he admitted after a long pause. "Why, you want to do something?"
I simply explained that it would be nice to maybe go out and have a type of real date. "If, that's where we are in this relationship." I added quickly. "I mean, if we are in a relationship. You did say that you were all in and I did too so that implies relationship, right? But even if we're not we could just go out for the hell of it or-"
"Lorelai," he interrupted, ceasing my pointless ramblings. I paused and looked up at him, timid and unsure. "We're in a relationship." he confirmed, grinning slightly to which I returned with narrowed eyes. "And, not that there's much to do out here, I may have some sort of an idea."
Looking intrigued, I moved to sit up against the headboard- and the fluffy pillows, I mean, I'm seriously considering stealing one of these babies's. "And what so happens to be this idea?" I asked, a smile tugging at my lips as I pulled him closer, trying to get him on top of me for some serious overdue necking.
Pecking my lips quickly, he pulled back, much to my disappointment as I let out a small whimper of dissatisfaction. "Change into something warm." he instructed softly, inches from my face, leaving me befuddled.
I pouted, praying he was taking me somewhere sensible. "Will this have to do with anything nature-concerned? Because it's late and I don't want to go on a hike." I complained, the disgust evident in my tone as I wrinkled my nose in distaste. I mean, who the hell would ever consider even going hiking when you can get exercise in a more fun way?
"Trust me; you won't be going on a hike." Giving me one last, unsatisfying peck, he pulled back, running a hand softly down my cheek sending sparks throughout my entire body. "Get dressed. Make sure it's comfortable, too. I'm going to go get some things downstairs and put them in the truck then I'll meet you back up here."
"Aren't you getting changed?" I asked confusedly as he made my way to the bedroom door.
He turned back. "Nah, I'm fine the way I am. And you might want to bring a pillow." he added, outwardly smirking at my perplexed and worried look. Pillows- good. Bringing a pillow to a place where I need to dress warm- not so good.
As he made his way down the stairs, the smug smile probably still plastered to his face, I called after him in a worried tone, "We aren't going camping, are we?" Receiving no answer, I suddenly began to regret my idea to go out on some type of date.
Changing into the sweatpants I had luckily brought and throwing a Yale sweatshirt over my head, I quickly grabbed three of the six pillows on the bed. One for him, two for me, of course. Throughout the entire time I had repeatedly been assuring myself internally that Luke knows me better than to take me into the great outdoors as a first date. Because he seriously isn't that stupid. After that I quickly reapplied my mascara and lipstick before quickly shutting off the light and making my way down the stairs.
The first thing I spotted while searching for Luke was Jess, sitting alone on the couch watching TV. Looking around I conceded that Luke was no where in sight so I had to either wait in the foyer for Luke where Jess couldn't see me or risk the chances of having to make small talk with the boy who had begged my daughter to ditch the life she had built and run away with him. Though I'm not sure of that's worse than sleeping with your married ex-boyfriend.
After three and a half minutes of no Luke, I reluctantly stepped into the living room. "Hey Jess?"
He grunted. Seriously, after only spending about a year with his uncle they've certainly picked up one another's traits.
"Have you seen Luke?"
"Yeah,"
Silence. God, I can't even begin to comprehend what Rory saw in this kid.
I rolled my eyes and subtly began to tap my foot impatiently. "Well do you know where he is?"
"You don't have to snap at me." he said, feigning shock. "And if you were looking for Luke you could have just asked."
"Then where is he?" I asked expectantly.
Muting the TV, he looked over at me skeptically. "I don't know, I'm not his parole officer."
"Listen Jess," I began sternly, so not in the mood for him to interrupt my limited Luke-time. "I'm not here to rag on you about what you said to Rory-"
He held his hands up in mock-surrender. "For the record, I did not bring up Rory."
I glared at him fiercely.
"I'm over Rory."
I scoffed. "Right. C'mon Jess, just give it a rest, it seems like each time you come back to Stars Hollow you just mess with her head and confuse her even more. You just don't stop. You have to get over the fact that what you two had is over. It was over the moment you left for California."
He shook his head slowly. Damn I wish he wasn't Luke's nephew. I'd kill him. "I know that and I said that I'm over Rory. I've moved on,"
"You moved on?" I asked doubtfully.
He cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, I have, so you should to."
Just as I was about to retort, Luke came in out of no where, placing a hand on my shoulder and nearly scaring the shit out of me. "You ready to go?" he asked, probably noticing the built up tension between his girlfriend and nephew.
Glaring at Jess for one last second, I quickly changed into happy-girlfriend mode and turned to him. "Yeah, um, I left the pillows by the door. I'll wait for you outside." I promised, somewhat awkwardly, not even bothering to bid Jess a goodbye as I made my way out to sit on the front steps, briefly overhearing Jess make some sexual innuendo about the pillows and being outside.
After some minutes later, the sound of heavy footfalls became louder and louder and soon enough Luke was by my side with a handful of blankets and a blue little mini-cooler. "Are we gonna sleep outside?" I asked skeptically, breaking the silence.
He shook his head with a small grin present on his lips. "Listen," he began, and already I knew I'd be getting and earful about Jess. "I know you don't like Jess-"
"Of course I don't like him!" He gave me a seriously threatening look.
He sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "The kid's screwed up, he grew up with a screwed up life, and before you say you know what its like- you don't. You didn't experience it like him. Growing up, Jess, well, he never really had an adult around- ever. He never had a role model. I wasn't around much 'cause I was just starting to open the diner and his dad left before he could even walk and his mother was seriously messed up, always bringing a new guy home every night, drinking and I wouldn't be surprised if he admitted to be abused at lease once. He had no one around and basically had to raise himself. I know you hate him for what he did to Rory- I'm not exactly his number one fan in that particular category but still- he's family and I believe he's on the right track. He's even got a new girlfriend that he's proved to really care about. He's grown up." And with a simple shrug, he ended his ode to Jess.
I understood, I didn't want him to think I didn't. It's just the fact that he hurt my little girl- many times- and I can't get passed that. I nodded slowly; the fact that if Luke and I ever did go further with this relationship Jess would be my nephew immediately brought me out of my thoughts. Then I reprimanded myself for thinking like that because it's wrong and way too early to do that. We hadn't even been on a first date yet. "I don't think I remember you ever saying that much in the eleven years I've known you." I stated, unsure what else to say given the fact I was thinking about Luke, me and a life commitment.
"Well," He patted my thigh affectionately, moving to get up. "Don't get used to it."
Holding out my left hand, he helped me up, guiding me over to his truck. "So exactly where are you taking me?" I asked as he threw the cooler and blankets into the back of his truck.
"You'll see,"
"I hope you know that I'm not exactly a fan of sleeping under the stars. With bugs. And dirt. I'm not that big of a fan of dirt."
He smiled cockily. "Maybe we are," he taunted.
I mock-gasped, pointing a finger accusingly at him. "You're gonna kill me!" I exclaimed. "You're gonna take me out in the woods, use the knives and guns and sharp things that you hid in the cooler to kill me and then you'll throw the blankets over my body to make sure no one sees me once your done."
He rolled his eyes, motioning me over to the passenger side of the truck. "Yes, that's exactly it."
Opening the door for me, a very chivalrous act if you ask me, he lightly helped me in as I set the pillows beside me. "So if you're not making me sleep outside and you're not killing me, then where the hell are we going?"
"I never shot down the possibility of sleeping outside. I just said maybe." he reminded me, getting in and starting the engine and pulling out of the driveway.
"I hate camping."
"I know."
"But I'm serious, Luke," I went on, still skeptic about sleeping outside. "Camping is not my thing. There are bugs and its cold and did I mention the dirt. Because I've had many bad experiences with dirt that I really don't want to be reminded of. And plus, you didn't even bring a tent. What if it rained, or snowed. Its cold up here so there has to be the chances of snow. And even though I've told you before that good things happen when it snows, I don't want to be proved wrong. Seriously, even if I end up getting something tonight, it won't even be worth it if we're on the ground in the woods." I finished with a smile, quickly looking over to catch Luke's wide-eyed, flushed look.
"Jeez, Lorelai." He looked over at me briefly, shaking his head in obvious annoyance.
I smiled wickedly, moving closer to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Now Luke," I began soothingly. "I'm not saying that we can't have sex-"
"God!" he admonished as I teasingly ran a finger up and down his cheek. "Could you be anymore blunt? And stop that," He swatted my hand off his face. "I'd prefer not to die in a car crash today because my girlfriend can't keep her hands to herself."
I stopped immediately and dropped a kiss on his cheek and loosely wrapped my arms around his torso, my bright smile only oblivious to a blind person.
He was confused. "What was that for?"
I looked down bashfully, burying my nose into his soft flannel. "You called me your girlfriend." I told him shyly, my words muffled against his shirt.
"Well, you are, aren't you?" he asked, a small grin playing at his lips as he draped his arm over my shoulder, holding me tight.
"It just..." I sighed dreamily, leaning into his warm embrace. "It has a really nice ring to it, I guess." I said honestly, shrugging.
"Yeah," he agreed, the small grin widening a fraction of an inch. "It does."
"A drive-in." I repeated for the umpteenth time, the excitement evident in my tone as I hugged his arm tightly to myself.
He nodded his head, obviously annoyed by my enthusiasm. "I know, I brought you here."
Walking to the snack-stand, I buried my head in the crook of his arm. "But how did you know?" I seriously like to believe that I've just found the perfect man. I mean, how often does a guy take someone out on a first date to see a showing of a classic movie like His Girl Friday at a drive-in?
"I've driven by here from time to time, the sign says the movies start at eight-thirty, I didn't know what movie was playing exactly but they usually show the classics and you wanted to do something. God only knows when the next time is we'll be able to get together so I thought this is something you might enjoy." he said, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal.
"You're a romantic," I teased.
"No I'm not. Call me that again and I'm going home and leaving you here." he threatened. I frowned. "What do you want to eat?"
"Now you're offering to buy me food that'll rot my insides? What happened to the Luke I know?"
He rolled his eyes. "I just know that if I don't get you anything to eat, you won't shut up the entire movie."
"Ah, but see, this time I have better things to do like make out with my extremely sexy boyfriend in the back of his truck. But we should get red vines, just incase. And popcorn. And snowcaps, I haven't had snowcaps in awhile."
"So will I be buying anything that won't lead you to an early death?" he asked, the pod-Luke disappearing as he grimaced.
"We could get raisinets, they have raisins in them- those are healthy, right?"
"Not when they're covered in chocolate, no."
"Then give me your money and go grab me soda." I instructed, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.
He snatched it back defensively, causing me to give him a skeptic glance as he took out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to me. "Firstly, don't spend it all on pointless junk food-"
"Okay, grandpa." I interjected, crossing my arms over my chest and giving him a bored, eye roll.
He glared. "Secondly, don't go in my wallet. And thirdly, I've got a couple beers in the truck, they don't usually allow alcohol here, but what they don't know won't hurt 'em."
Going right past the wallet-thing (we could get back to that later); I flashed him a teasing smile. "You know, Luke, you don't need me to be drunk if you want me to sleep with you."
He face turned bright red. "Why the hell are you so sex-obsessed?" he asked quietly in a tone that was clearly embarrassed as he glanced around nervously for any on-lookers.
"I'm not sex-obsessed," I defended with a casual tone. "But is it wrong for me to want to spend some intimate time with my boyfriend whom I've all but slept with in the last eleven years? I think I've earned the right to be just a little sexually frustrated."
His faced softened a bit, but not enough for a regular bystander to notice. "Go get your food." he ordered light, giving me a small push over to the concession stand.
About halfway into the movie, the both of is were cuddled up against each other in the back of his truck, me eating the red vines and him occasionally eating the popcorn I force-fed him. "This is nice," I stated softly, my hands currently playing with his.
"It's pointless, if the guy didn't want her to get married to another guy, why'd they get divorced in the first place? And then why did she even tell him she was getting married to another guy? It's like she wanted him to stop her from marrying him."
"Luke?" I whispered softly, the smile on my face evident in my tone. It was funny how just by ranting about a film form the '40's that this guy could turn me on.
"Yeah?" he asked, not even bothering to look down at me.
I took his chin in my hand, forcing him to look down at me. "Thanks for taking me here." I said, brushing my lips against his.
His immediate reaction was evident as his lips softened alongside mine, bringing his arm up and held it at the base of my neck, gently massaging it. I stifled a moan while I pulled him down against the pillows so we weren't up against the back windshield where everyone could see us. Trailing my lips across his cheek and over to his ear, I breathed heavily before taking his earlobe into my mouth, sucking and biting at it gently.
He tugged on me until I was fully on top of him, his hands tenderly traveling underneath my thin sweatshirt, bringing me warmth throughout my entire body, mainly a certain point between my legs. His hands moved from my back to my stomach where they slowly treaded closely to uncharted territory. The movement stilled though his lips were still doing incredible work against my neck. I encouragingly began to undo each button of his flannel I could reach frantically, desperate for the skin on skin contact I'd been deprived eleven years of.
Before I knew it, his hands were stopping mine and his lips were no longer against my skin. I looked up at him with a confused look, taking comfort in the rise and fall of his chest below me as I tried to reattach our lips. One of his hands dropped from mine and held my face inches from his as I tried to lean in closer. "Why'd you stop?" I whined quietly, my breath coming out in short, rapid puffs as I shut my eyes tiredly.
"We can't do this here."
"Why not?"
"We're in the back of my truck at a drive-in. We're not teenagers; people could see us or, you know, hear us." He was gesturing around us, obviously flustered as my face fell and a deep sigh escaped from the back of my throat.
Groaning, I laid my head on his chest and loosely wrapped my arms around his torso. "You know, I don't usually come off this easy." I mumbled, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the jumbo-sized bucket to my left and shoving it dejectedly into my mouth.
He sympathetically patted my back, the amusement evident in his tone. "I know."
"So we'll watch the rest of the movie then go back to your house?" I asked in defeat.
He sighed. "Yeah,"
"And once we get back," I began, looking up at him with a suggestive look. "Maybe we could continue with what we left off?" I asked hopefully.
"No," he said defiantly, shaking his head with force. My hope was crushed and my face fell. "There is no way I am having sex with my sister in the same house." He paused. "And plus, Jess's room is right by mine, I don't want him knowing what we're doing, I'd never be able to look him in the eye again."
"Are you serious?" I asked skeptically. "Luke," I whined, repeatedly dropping my head against his chest. "Who knows when we'll have the next chance for this?"
"Well," he began uncertainly. "It is only the first date, we could take it slow." he suggested hesitantly.
"Slow?" I exclaimed in a hushed tone. "We've known each other for eleven years; you live in another state." He gave me an apologetic look. "I just, I want you so badly." I pouted, burying my face in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent.
He rubbed my back slowly, kissing my forehead. "Don't think I don't want you either."
"Well, that's a little obvious," I said, gently patting the bulge in his pants, causing his to blush and swat my hand away.
"Just watch the movie." he ordered, tightening his arms around me.
When we finally got back home, it was already a little past eleven and the house was silent, surprising me. "Where is everyone?" I asked quietly as we slipped off out shoes and we hung up our coats.
"Liz has been going to bed early lately and Jess has to work an early shift at the store tomorrow." he explained, placing his hand on the small of my back and leading my upstairs. "Why don't you get dressed in the bathroom, it's down the hall and the second door to the right."
Stripping out of my sweatshirt, I tossed it carelessly in the corner. "I'm fine."
He walked over to the dresser, taking out sweatpants and a t-shirt. "Then I'll be right back."
I lay down on the bed, moving to get comfortable under the blankets and against the pillows. "And I'll be here."
He nodded and slipped out the door. When he was gone, I buried myself into the pillows, all smelling amazingly like Luke- another reason for me to take one home with me. The thought of going home unsettled my stomach- again, after an amazing night; we'd be leaving each other. I hated it. It wasn't fair; finally we were starting something- why couldn't we have started something nine or ten years ago? Before I had the chance to get myself worked up, the door reopened and Luke stepped in, wearing an olive-green t-shirt that accentuated his well-defined body. "So what time do you have to leave tomorrow?" he asked, sliding into bed beside me.
"I don't probably have to leave until two-ish." I said, expertly hiding the sadness in my tone. He nodded slowly. "How is this going to work, Luke?" I asked, my insecurities showing.
He shrugged uncomfortably and sighed. "I don't know. All I know is that I will do my best to make this work. We'll still talk on the phone like we do now, but, I don't know, if I ever get the time, I'll come and visit you."
"And I'll visit you." I added contentedly.
He shook his head in disagreement, causing my face to fall instantly. "No."
"You can visit me but I can't visit you? Luke, I'll miss you."
"You've got a new business to worry about." he reminded me. "You need to focus on that."
I frowned, reality making its way back into my life. "I know," I admitted reluctantly.
He smiled, brushing a lock of hair out of my face. "Let's get to sleep." he suggested wearily, giving me a quick kiss on the lips before rolling over and flipping the switch on the light, darkness falling over the both of us.
"Night Luke,"
"Night." he mumbled, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to him.
After some moments of silence, I whispered, "Luke?" while softly stroking his stubbly jaw and cheek, memorizing the outline of his features.
He grumbled something incoherently and instinctively pulled me closer, burying his nose in my hair.
I took a deep breath, preparing myself. "I love you."
I am an ass. See I've been busy lately helping out a friend- her penname is 'The Mrs. Ventimiglia'- she's got great and must read and review fics. Anyhow, I completely forgot until I was lying in bed going through some old files. And then by the end of this sucky chapter(I seriously didn't even consider the time Dopey brought Lorelai out on a in 7x04 so don't hate me) I realized it was supposed to be Luke's POV but I didn't want to go back and change it so all you must suffer!!! I was in a Jess-mood today because I was reading some Jess-centered fics and I felt bad for him. And I think it's obvious I have yet to see His Girl Friday, I just know it was a movie Lorelai mentioned before.
Currently listening to- Evil by Interpol and One Line by PJ Harvey
I'm not that sure where to bring this, though. Any ideas? I know I'll have Luke's reaction but I was also thinking a phone call between Luke and Rory. And Lorelai might just find out why Luke was so defensive of his wallet. Though we all know why.