Disclaimer: Seriously???? Seriously. We won. Shonda won. Life is so good. Life would be better if we owned GA, but we do not.

As the movie came to an end, and people started packing up their blankets and picnic baskets, I came to the sudden realization that I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to move. Meredith felt so right in my arms, so amazing, that letting her go seemed like the worst thing I could do. "Hey," I murmured into her ear, "what'd you think? Still cheesy?"

"No, not so cheesy," she said in a low voice that sent chills down my spine. We were definitely not moving from this spot. "But tell anyone I said that and I'll let Cristina kill you and make it look like an accident."

I let out a laugh at the threat and then pulled her closer, needing to feel her against my body. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you," she said, accepting the compliment easily this time and sounding much more relaxed than she had earlier in the evening. I smiled at the thought my date had managed to calm Meredith, she always seemed to be thinking too much.

"Tell me about you, Mer," I said. "I want to know everything." And I did. She was a complete mystery to me, and I loved it, but I also needed to know what it was about her that made her so vulnerable, and yet so strong all at once. She wasn't weak. She could take care of herself. But she was vulnerable, and she was protecting herself from something.

Her body stiffened slightly against mine but she didn't pull away. "Well umm...everything is kind of vague, Derek," she said, slightly giggling as she skillfully avoided the question. "And I know nothing about you."

God, her giggle was intoxicating. She was intoxicating. "Not much to know," I grinned. "But you ask, and I'll tell you."

"Oh god," I laughed. "Do I have family? Four sisters, all very girly, tons of kids. Nine nieces, five nephews."

"Wow ummm..." Meredith said. I could feel the shock in her body. "That's a big family."

"Yeah," I nodded. "It is. But I love kids. They're so amazing and full of energy."

"You want some of your own?" Meredith asked quietly, fingering the blanket underneath us.

"Definitely," I nodded firmly. "What about you? Do you want kids?"

"I umm...it doesn't matter what I want," Meredith mumbled queitly. "I wouldn't be a good mom, I don't even know what a good mom is. It's just...I'm not that kind of person."

I squeezed her gently, sensing her discomfort at the question. "No one thinks they'll be a good mom until it happens," I assured her. "My mom always says it's a learning process."

"I don't think I have it me to even learn," she mumbled again, sounding heart breakingly sad. I had no idea what made her feel this way, I had seen her with Talulah. She was so warm and loving and she would make a great mother.

"Oh, Meredith," I sighed, but then decided that pushing it further would just make her feel worse, and I wanted her to feel relaxed, happy. I had the feeling that Meredith very rarely got the opportunity to feel happy and relaxed. "What about you? Any family?"

"I have my friends...Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex, they're my family," she said sounding happier again. "And my mom, but she's...with my mom it's complicated."

"Oh?" I asked quietly, desperately hoping that she'd open to me, even a little bit.

"She's a doctor, a pretty big important famous doctor. Actually she's an amazing doctor. But when it came to being a mother, well, she just...she's never been there," Meredith said in a rushed tone, as if she would hope that talking quickly would hide the hurt tones in her voice.

Grey. Meredith Grey. Meredith was Ellis Grey's daughter. There wasn't a single medical school student who hadn't studied the Grey Method, a single doctor who didn't pray to reach the caliber of Ellis Grey. "I'm sorry," I murmured. "It was probably tough for you, in medical school."

"It was, things were complicated and then things...well, it was just tough," Meredith said, pulling away slightly. I panicked for a second but then realized she was just pulling away enough to look at me. "Can we talk about something else? My mom is...well, can we just talk about something else?"

"Of course," I nodded quickly, immediately sorry that I had made her sad in anyway. I couldn't bear her being sad or distressed. I wanted to hear her laugh again, I needed to see that great smile. "How long have you lived in Seattle?"

"I lived here when I was younger. And then when...when things happened I decided this was a good place to come back to. It's been a few years now that I've lived here," she said, resting back against me, the smile back to her voice. "You?"

A sudden, unexpected wave of sadness came over me at the question, I sighed deeply and then answered, "Almost thirty years. After my dad died, my mom wanted to get as far away from New York as possible. So we came here."

"Oh, Der, I'm sorry," Meredith said warmly, her hand finding my knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. People had been telling me they were sorry about my dad since I was 10 years old, and I had always found it a waste of words. They never made you actually feel better. But when Meredith said sorry, for the first time in nearly 30 years, they actually did help. Her sorry did make me feel better.

"It's fine," I had said the words for thirty years, but this time I think I actually meant them. "He died peacefully. And he was a good guy. He was a doctor too. And now, well, so am I. And my sisters are too. All four of them."

"Your whole family are doctors?" Meredith said, amazement in her voice.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Nancy's an OB/GYN, Kathleen's a psychiatrist, Erin works trauma, and Leah works neonatal. My poor mother can't stand the doctor talk around the table at Christmas."

Meredith laughed. Her laugh was addictive. "I don't think I ever want to meet your family."

I laughed right along with her and then squeezed her tight. "They'd love you. I know they would. Especially my mom."

"Derek," Meredith said, that familiar panicked tone returning to her voice. "First date. We do not talk about meeting family on a first date."

"Right," I nodded, kicking myself for talking about her meeting my family. Aready I was imagining her fitting into my life so perfectly. Into the weekly family dinners, into the soccer games and the ballet recitals. It was all so easy to see her there, and I couldn't wait until she allowed herself to fit into my world. If she would ever let me fit into hers. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said, nodding slowly, the back of her head rubbing against my chest where is still rested. Her hand found mine and she gently played with my fingers, running her smoother ones over them. "I...I...I've had a good time and I want, I think I want to give this a try. But it's been...I just...we need to take this slow Derek. For me. We need to take this slow."

My heart soared as she spoke, the words all coming down to one thing: she wanted to give us a try. The weeks of wondering if she was going to call finally meant something as I clasped her hand tightly. "I can take this slow," I replied. "And Meredith, I'm glad you've had a good time."

I leaned my head forward slightly, knowing exactly what I wanted but terrified that she would pull away. She didn't. Actually she leaned in a little closer to. Our lips were inches apart but I paused and looked in her eyes. Her eyes were so beautiful, they were so deep. Her eyes held everything. Smiling calmly at her I closed the distance between us and gently pressed my lips against hers.

It wasn't anything like the kiss in the elevator, our first kiss. There wasn't any frustration to it, or even the passion that had first overtaken us. Her lips were soft against mine as we kissed, and I brought my hand up to cup her face, feeling my heart beat quicken as she gently forced my mouth open with her tongue, exploring my mouth softly, gently as I ran my other hand through her hair.

She let out a soft moan, obviously enjoying the kiss as much as I was. And suddenly was cut off by the shrill ringing of a cell phone. She pulled away quickly, desperately grabbing for her purse and searching through it, finally pulling out the destroyer of my fun. She took one look at the display screen and a grimace of worry marred her features. "I have to go," she said, sounding breathless.

"What?" I breathed, frustrated once again that we had been cut short. "Why?"

"I just...I have to go," Meredith said, pleading with me with her eyes to believe her, to let her have this one. "I...We can do this again."

"Okay," I nodded. "But soon, Meredith. You're going to call me this time." I grinned at her to show her that I wasn't in anyway upset, just teasing her.

"You're pushy, you know that?" Meredith said, grinning back at me.

I laughed and kissed her quickly on the lips. "It's one of my better qualities, I think," I said. "And anyway, I had to wait over a month to get you on this date. I don't want to wait a year."

"You'd wait a year?" Meredith asked, grinning widely again at me.

"Well maybe not a year," I laughed as I stood, "Eleven months and twenty-nine days, maybe."

She laughed loudly and stood up beside me, kissing me quickly on the lips again. "As tempting as it is to test that theory I will call sooner than that."
"Good," I nodded firmly as I gathered the blanket and the picnic basket. "Maybe next time, I'll try the whole ferryboat with an orchestra thing."

"I don't suggest it if you want a third date," she said giggling at me as she easily slipped her hand into my empty one. As if that's where it had always belonged.

"Killjoy," I squeezed her hand. "Fine, next time we'll do an actual restaurant. Can I pick you up next time so we don't have to make a mad dash to your car?"

Panic filled her eyes again. As cute as the panic was, it was a little disarming to see it so often on a date. "Could we just meet at the restaurant?"

I couldn't help but wonder what she was so scared of, why she was so guarded, but I nodded. "Of course, Mer. It was just a joke. "

"Good," she said nodding and the suddenly stopped walking and forced me stop with her. I looked at her eyes and found that she looked terrified, nearly close to tears and couldn't even begin to imagine what made her look that way. "Thanks Derek. For being understanding about this and just...thanks."

I put my hand softly on her jaw, amazed by how big my hand looked against her small face and kissed her on the forehead. "Meredith, it's fine. I enjoy being with you. If you need time, I can do that."

She smile at me. I think it might have been the first real true smile I had seen out of her, and it was utterly breathtaking. "Thank you," she whispered again quietly, brushing her lips against mine. "And I umm...I enjoy being with you too."

We got in the car and drove in that comfortable silence back to the bar, her hand tucked into mine. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, how beautiful she was. This had been the first time in a long time I didn't want to leave in the middle of a date. It was the first time in a long time that I could look at a woman and see her in my life, that I wanted another woman in my life.

In too quick of time we reached the bar that our evening had began at. I walked her to her car as slowly as I could, trying to pull out every last second that I could with her. As she reached for her door handle I took her hand in my own, turned her around to face me and gently pinned her against the car. "Derek, what are you doing?" she asked.

I kissed her, a little harder than last time, but still gently, this time exploring her mouth with my tongue. After a few seconds, I finally pulled away. "Good night, Meredith," I smiled at her as I brushed a strand of hair away from her bewildered face.

"Goodnight Derek," she responded, sounding beautifully breathless. With a shaky hand she opened her car door and stepped inside, effectively putting an end to our evening. I couldn't remember the last time a date had gone so well. Hell, I don't think there was a last time a date had gone so well. It had been an amazing first date. And I knew, in the way I sometime just know things, that it was my last first date.

Goodbye until tomorrow, until I recall how to breathe. I have been waiting, I have been waiting for you."