The Halfway – Chapter Two

A/N: Thanks so much for the encouragement on the previous chapter! I'm glad people are interested in this story! Thanks again to JenniGellerBing for the beta. Please review; it's really helpful to know what other people think! And, don't forget, DH spoilers ahead.

The sun was setting in the Halfway. Remus noticed that the sphere had faded to a brilliant shade of orange, the sky a pallet of colors in the background. It was possibly the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Remus sat down on the ground to watch, noticing that his limbs did not creak in protest. He frowned; feeling this agile was oddly unsettling.

Earlier, Tonks had eagerly asked when the time would be to fight. They were told to wait, that the time would come soon enough. He wondered now with an air of regret how long soon enough would be. He couldn't seem to get a grip on time here. It felt as if a year had gone by since the battle at Hogwarts. Had a year gone by?

He wanted more than anything to hold Teddy again.

Remus looked over at his wife, who was huddled closely beside her father, without really processing the sight. He wanted to sit with her, but felt it would be better to leave her this time with her father. At first, the two of them had walked arm in arm through this "park" – or, at least, what appeared to be a park – without speaking. Then Tonks had gone off to spend time with her father, and Remus was left alone with his thoughts.

Would they really be able to return home? See their son again? He wondered what sort of demons he would have to fight in order to do so. Although he felt more nimble than he had in years, he wasn't sure he would be able to succeed. After all, he had gone and died – or ceased to live, whatever it was he had done during the Hogwarts battle. He couldn't be as capable as he'd once thought, could he?

"Sickle for your thoughts," said James in a sing-song voice as he plopped down next to Remus. After a moment, Lily and Sirius joined as well.

"I'm just thinking... about my son."

Lily smiled. "He's a handsome boy. Looks a lot like you," she said with a wink.

"I personally enjoy the turquoise hair," said Sirius. "You think that'll be his signature color, like Tonks and her pink hair?"

"As long as his color doesn't become pink, eh Moony?" joked James.

Remus smiled sadly. "You can see him?"

"Not right now," said James. "You can't watch the Land of the Living from the Halfway. But we've been keeping an eye out on you... and Harry, too, of course."

"Oh," replied Remus, unable to hide his disappointment. "How much time has gone by since we got here? It feels like... forever."

"Time doesn't exist in the same way here as it does there," Sirius explained. "One minute there is the equivalent of hours here."

"So, if Tonks and I are able to go back, will my son be –?"

"He will still be the same age. Only a few hours, at most, will have gone by," promised Lily.

Remus nodded, but did not say anything else on the matter. He didn't want to get his hopes up when there was so much at risk. Instead, he studied his old friends in earnest for the first time since they'd arrived. Lily and James looked just as they had when they'd died, but Sirius didn't. His hair was short, his face unlined. He looked young and happy again, as he had before Azkaban.

"Why is it that Sirius is the only one here who doesn't look like he did when he died?"

"We're just souls, Moony. We get to take on whatever form we'd like. I chose to be me at twenty." Sirius batted his eyelashes in mock flirtation. "I was much more fetching before Azkaban, don't you think?"

"Dashing," replied Remus flatly.

The four of them laughed and, for a moment, Remus felt as if he was back at Hogwarts with his old friends. He allowed himself a moment to bask in it, to be grateful for a little more time with those who had once been as good as family. It felt comfortable, but not as comfortable as sitting beside his wife on the settee in their flat, Tonks resting her weary head on his shoulder as Remus held a squirming baby in his arms.

"Dunno why Ted there –" James gestured toward the man with his thumb – "decided to look fifty. I wouldn't have."

"Isn't it obvious?" said Lily. "He wanted Tonks to be able to recognize him."

"Oh yeah, right. That, uh, makes sense."

Lily rolled her eyes, but couldn't quite hide the small smile that touched her lips.

The four friends fell silent again, and Remus glanced back to where Ted and Tonks were seated. She looked as if she had been crying; Ted was stroking her hand. He hadn't even noticed until just then that Tonks had returned to her natural state here. Though not as skinny as she had been before the pregnancy, she wore the mousy brown locks Remus hadn't seen for almost a year.

"She can't morph here," said Sirius, as if reading Remus' thoughts. "And neither can you, for that matter."

"You mean -?"

"You're not a werewolf here, no."

Remus didn't respond, contemplating this instead. He should be happy, knowing that he was freed of his affliction. And yet, he felt no joy at this revelation.

He would have endured countless full moons for one more day with his son.

"We're proud of you, Moony," James told Remus sincerely.

"What for?" he wondered bitterly. "I've made a right mess of my life, since you three left. You've been watching, you know! I let myself fall in love and ruined Tonks' life – she's stigmatized just as much as I am now! I walked out on my wife and child. I – I even hexed Harry!"

Sirius shook his head, laughing. "You don't give yourself enough credit. You've done more than you realize. And I still think that Harry deserved that."

James rolled his eyes grandly, as if that had been the topic of an on-going argument between the two friends.

"It's not about doing right or wrong, Remus," explained Lily, "nor is it about being selfish or selfless. You let yourself be happy, that's why we're proud."

"You know, Tonks wasn't lying when she told you all she needs is for you to be happy," Sirius told Remus, clapping him on the shoulder.

At Sirius' touch, Remus experienced that same warmth and acceptance that he'd felt earlier, when Lily had grasped his hands. Something about the contact was so calming that he could not help but see the truth in his friends' words.

He looked over at Tonks again, who was deep in conversation with her father now. Remus knew that his friends were right, and yet... he couldn't quite resist the bubble of guilt that formed at the knowledge that his happiness meant, at best, an unstable future for Tonks.

How could he ever defeat his personal demons if he couldn't even figure out how to balance Tonks' happiness with his own?

Tonks wasn't one for crying in public, but ever since Teddy was born, she had been prone to fits of tears without warning. And sure, she had reason to cry right now – what with seeing her dead father, and not to mention dying (or whatever she had done). And even though she was sitting with her father, the man who had kissed her tears away after many, many scuffles and falls, she still felt ashamed.

She was an adult – an Auror, for Merlin's sake – and she was crying to her daddy like a five-year-old.

Ted reached over and grabbed his daughter's hand, stroking it gently with his thumb. It reminded her of how, before she went off to Hogwarts, he used to sit by her bed and stroke her hand until she fell asleep. A sort of warmth spread through her at the memory. And, although she did not feel completely at ease, she managed to stop crying.

"All right, Dora?"

She nodded, unable to trust her voice just yet.

The pair of them sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, before Ted spoke again. "Erm, how's... Mum?"

"She's all right. I think Teddy's really helped her cope. But... can't you see her?"

"I can," he said carefully, "but I choose not to just yet."

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure," he began. "I miss her too much, I suppose. It hurts enough already; I'm pretty sure seeing her would just make it worse."

"But I don't understand. You can't feel pain here, but -"

Ted shook his head. "You can't feel physical pain here. You said it before, remember? You said you felt as if your heart was still breaking. When you die, you lose your body, not your soul. Your emotions come from your soul, Dora, that's why it still hurts so much."

"Oh." She didn't know how to respond, so she looked down at her hands instead. "Mum misses you a lot, too, you know. She tries to be strong – you know how she is – but I hear her crying sometimes."

Ted nodded, but seemed unable to say anything more on the subject. Instead, he admitted, "I've been watching you and Remus, with the baby, though. He's beautiful."

"I only wish he could have met you, Dad."

"As do I, as do I." He paused thoughtfully. "Thank you for naming him after me. It means more to me than I can –"

"Of course. There was never a question in our minds about it."

Ted smiled, unable to speak as he fought back tears.

"But Dad, I've been wondering something..."

"Yes?"

"Well, it's just... I don't understand why you left."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind," she mumbled, afraid of insulting her father.

"You mean, you don't understand why I went into hiding?"

She nodded.

"They were after all the Muggle-borns and their families, weren't they? I left to protect you and your mum."

"But we could've fought them! We might've been able to give you a few more months, maybe even –"

Ted held up his hand in a way Tonks knew all too well meant for her to stop talking. She bit her lip instead. "Sometimes, Dora, you just have to walk away."

"But –"

"Sometimes," he continued with a sad smile, "it isn't worth the fight."

"But how did you know?"

"If I had stayed and fought, your mother would have been killed, and there's a good chance you and Teddy would have been, too. As much as I wanted to fight for the cause, Dora, I wasn't willing to sacrifice that much."

"Yes, but how did you know it was right?" asked Tonks, unable to hide the eagerness in her voice.

"You're worried that you shouldn't have left your son so you could go fight."

It wasn't a question, but Tonks nodded, relieved that her father had read her mind. She didn't want to express her anxieties about this - anxieties that had been plaguing her ever since she slipped out of the house that night. At the time, she had been sure she'd survive the battle; she had been sure she would come home to Teddy. Now, however, she just felt stupid and cowardly for leaving her son.

"You made the decision that was right for you, Dora. You'll know when you need to stand down, if the time comes."

"You think so?"

Ted took her hand again. "I know so."

She couldn't help but believe him.

A long, comfortable silence fell over the place. Then, Ted stood up and, after he did so, Lily, James, and Sirius followed. The abruptness made both Remus and Tonks jump. Their eyes met anxiously.

Remus scrambled to his feet, and Tonks mimicked his movement, though she tripped on the hem of her robes and fell back down. Ted put out a hand to help her without seeming to register her presence.

"It's time," he said quietly.

TBC...