Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy this chapter would be the show, Except without any phones ringing.
It was Saturday, finally gratefully it was Saturday. I had thought it would never come. I looked around the trailer one last time, making sure it looked presentable, at least as presentable as a tiny trailer could look. I hoped Meredith liked it, I hoped she didn't run away again. The flash of light beams through the window alerted me to her arrival. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves that fluttered in my stomach. Tonight Meredith would meet the real me.
I stepped outside and watched as her car pulled up the road, coming to a stop right in front of the trailer. Meredith got out, this time in jeans and a sweater, and stood there for a second, her eyes peering into the darkness, probably looking for a house. Had I completely misjudged her? I had thought she was the type to like a trailer, or at least tolerate it. But the way she was looking around scared me. "Looking for something?" I asked, teasingly as I watched her eyes sweep the large area of land. I teased instead of admitting that I was terrified.
"Um," she said after another second as she came forward. "Derek, where are we?"
"My trailer," I said, wincing at how nervous my voice sounded. "My land actually. I bought all of this and have no idea what do with it. So I live here, in this trailer."
"A trailer," she repeated and then looked at the trailer, a smile creeping onto her features. She looked at the tiny trailer and then back at me. She stepped forward again, this time past me and closer to the door, before turning back to me and offering her hand. "Nice castle, Dr. McDreamy."
I grabbed her hand, laughing softly at her joke, laughing out of relief that she apparently accepted the trailer, and more importantly me. As much as this trailer had meant to be a temporary place right now it seemed to reflect who I was, what I could offer this beautiful blonde that firmly held my hand. "I'd give you a tour but it's not that large."
"So why a trailer?" she smiled. "I mean, I love that you're a neurosurgeon living in a trailer. But why a trailer?"
"I don't know," I said with a shrug as I poured her a glass of wine. "This land...it was an impulse buy. I saw it and I knew I had to have it. But then it was mine, and I just had no idea what do with it. But I needed somewhere to live, so this trailer seemed...I really don't know."
"I love it," she assured me as she accepted the wine. "And Derek, uh, thanks for rescheduling. This last week has been...hectic."
"Meredith, it's no problem. I'm being patient with you," I told her, leaning forward and gently pressing my lips against hers. The kiss was quick, just a greeting for the girl that had captured my heart.
She smiled softly and squeezed my hand. "How was your week?"
"Long. I missed you," I told her honestly, gently, praying that the small admission wouldn't send her spiraling away from me again.
"Oh," she sighed. "Um, I, uh...dinner. What's for dinner?"
I smiled ruefully at her sudden change of subject. I was growing accustomed to it, and it was a little endearing. "Fettuccini alfredo with cajun chicken," I said, smiling proudly at her.
"Wow," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Impressive, Mr. Chef. Where did you learn to cook?"
"My mom. As the only boy in the family I was subjected to many of the same lessons my sisters had," I told her.
"Poor Derek," she giggled. "It smells wonderful."
"It tastes wonderful," I told her confidently. "Do you want to toss the salad while I finish this?"
"Seriously?" she asked, her eyes wide.
"Is there a reason you can't toss a salad?" I asked her, teasing her gently again.
"Well, see, Derek, I've been trying to hide something from you. But I guess now it's time to tell you the truth."
I felt my heart suddenly stop in my chest. She was going to finally open up? Whatever huge big secret she had been keeping me since the moment we had met and she was finally going to tell me. "Mer?" I asked, my voice coming out a little on the squeaky side.
"I, uh," she sighed and then stared at the ingredients to the salad on the counter. "I can't cook. Well, I guess I can. I can make sandwiches. And I can heat up leftover grilled cheese and pizza. But cooking? I can't do that. That's Izzie's territory. I can't cook. I'm a terrible, awful cook and have no domestic skills whatsoever."
Cooking, she had been talking about cooking. I laughed loudly. "And this inability to cook means you can't even throw together a simple salad?"
"Probably," she nodded. "I've never really tried it. Izzie always cooks. Always. She cooks Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner. And she always tries to get us to help her, but well, I can't cook. She throws me out of the kitchen."
"I trust you to make the salad," I told her gesturing to the pile of ingredients by the sink.
She stared again at the ingredients and then sighed, stepping forward, turning on the sink and running the vegetables under the water. "You're probably going to regret this."
"If it turns out awful we can just fill up on the pasta," I told her.
She smiled gratefully and then began cutting the vegetables, throwing them randomly into the salad bowl. It felt strangely domestic, the two of us in my small trailer, cooking in a companionable silence. "Derek?" she whispered.
"Yes?" I whispered back, not one hundred percent sure why we were whispering at all.
"I, uh," she paused and then took a deep breath, as if releasing some big weight. "I missed you too."
She missed me. Meredith had missed me. No matter what she was hiding, all the complication, in that instant all my doubts and fears all but evaporated. Meredith had missed me. "I'm glad," I said, genuinly.
She smiled at me, her eyes shining with happiness and then stepped back from the salad. "I think I've successfully tossed a salad."
I stopped what I was doing and walked over to peer into the bowl that she had just finished with. A perfectly normal looking salad looked back at me. "Ms. Grey, I must say, I am proud of you."
"You shouldn't say that until you've tasted it," she said. "And when will your part of the meal be done? I'm starving."
"Soon. And really, I didn't know a person you're size had the ability to starve," I told her, looking up and down at her tiny body, hugged tightly with her sweater and her jeans.
She slapped my arm gently, giggling. "You're terrible," she said, before kissing me lightly on the lips. "Give me a preview of the amazing dinner?"
"No, Meredith. I do believe you need to learn some patience," I told her, gently guiding her away from the kitchen area.
She pouted for a second and then sat down in front of the table, taking another sip of wine. "Wine, dinner, and candles?" she said. "Derek, you're trying to seduce me."
She pouted for a second and then sat down in front of the table, taking another sip of wine. "Wine, dinner, and candles?" she said. "Derek, you're trying to seduce me."
"Maybe," she admitted quietly. "I just, I mean, slow. We're taking this slow."
"I can take it slow. I can take it incredibly slow," I told her, lowering my voice to a husky tone. Silently impressed with myself that I had finally managed to pull off something that sounded good.
"Oh," she somehow managed to stammer on one word and suddenly she was standing again, and coming very close to me. "Derek," she murmured, her voice sounding surprisingly breathless.
"Mer?" I said, my voice barely coming out as she moved closer to me, scarcely wanting to believe that she might be finally warming up to me, to us.
It was as if the same realization had come into her mind, that she was beginning to let her guard down. Because suddenly, she stepped away from me, wringing her hands. "Dinner," she reminded me. "Dinner. We need to eat dinner. And um, talk. Yeah, talk. And...stuff."
I laughed gently, wanting to tell her to stop being afraid of whatever it was that was going on between us. Wanting to tell her that I was falling in love and there was nothing scary about it. Instead I just nodded. "It should be ready."
"Good," she said, turning to sit down again. She was quiet, and I noticed the panicky look coming into her eyes again. What had I done to bring about the look? It was obvious we were attracted to each other, hell, we had already almost had sex in an elevator. Why was she so against letting her guard down?
I walked over to her, kneeling down and gently brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I wish I knew why you're so scared, Mer. I know...I know... we're taking this slow. But just remember to breathe. I'm not going to hurt you. I could never hurt you."
She looked at me, tears shining in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she murmured
"Oh, Mer," I said, pulling her into my arms. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
She buried her head into my chest and said something, something that was muffled by my shirt. But before I could ask her what she had said, she pulled away gently, wiping her eyes. "I'm okay."
"You're okay," I said nodding and standing back up. "Supper. Be prepared to be amazed."
She laughed. "You're really confident, aren't you?"
"Just hiding my pain," I told her, as I placed a plate in front of her. "But really, I'm a good cook."
She picked up her fork and started to twist the pasta around it. "Promise?" she asked, the fork almost touching her mouth now.
I stared at her mouth, her lips and found myself wishing I was the fork, which was quite possibly the most absurd thought that had ever crossed my brain. "Promise," I told her smiling, "I'm not just a pretty face."
She put the fork in her mouth, and then slowly pulled it out, moaning a little. "This is good," she said, her mouth full. "Really good."
"Told you," I said, quickly grabbing a sip of my wine as I tried to keep my heart rate down, my breathing normal. Watching Meredith enjoy the pasta, moaning slightly at the taste had me wanting to cross the table and rip her clothes off. To find out what the sauce tasted like on her lips. Slow, Derek, slow.
"How's my salad?" she asked from across the table, her eyes twinkling. She had a bit of sauce on the corner of her lips, and it was taking every ounce of me not to lean forward and kiss it off.
"Good, it's good," I said, trying my best to concentrate on the food. "You might have some talent afterall.
"Are you okay?" she asked, concern suddenly tinging her voice. "You look a little flushed."
"Yeah, umm...I'm fine. I'm good. It's just you...you...it's nothing," I said, stumbling over my words, sounding so much like Meredith that it frightened me. Third date and I was already sounding like her. Not that anyone could blame me, considering the state I was in.
"What?" she asked. "Do I have something on my face? Derek, seriously, what is it?"
"Well there is some sauce right here," I said, and despite my better judgement, leaning over and quickly kissing it off.
But instead of pulling away, I found myself kissing her harder, my tongue enjoying the mixed taste of pasta and well, Meredith. She moaned into my mouth a little and then pulled away slightly, her green eyes dark. "Take me for a ride, Derek," she giggled.
Everything in my stopped. I stopped kissing her, I stopped exploring her body with my hands. I just stopped. "Seriously?"
"Unless you would rather finish dinner," she smirked.
"Definitely not," I said. Without another word, I pulled her out of the chair, holding her body close to mine, as she wrapped her legs around me. My tongue delved into her mouth again as I stumbled towards the back of the trailer to where the bed was. I had never been so grateful for the trailer. Having your bed in the same room as your kitchen had it's benefits.
I kissed her urgently as I lowered her onto the bed, her legs unwrapping themselves as she deftly lifted my shirt over my head, stopping me from kissing her for only a second, but then moving from her lips down to her neck as I moved my hands down to the edge of her sweater, slowly raising it as I littered kisses up and down her neck.
She moaned slightly as the shirt slipped over her head and my lips found the tops of her breasts, gently licking and teasing them with my teeth. As her fingers struggled to undo my belt I unhooked her bra, quickly pulling it out of the way. My mouth found her nipples, teasing them gently, bringing them into my mouth. Her hands forgot about my stubborn belt and wound themselves into my hair, pulling my head even closer to her chest.
Her moans were enough to make me come right then and there, but I continued my tease of her nipples, enjoying her writhing underneath me in the bed. I pulled away for a second, panting slightly and she looked up at me, desire filling her eyes. She brought her hands up again and helped me undo my belt, both of our hands shaking as she did undid my pants. "Jesus, Mer," I moaned as I began undoing her jeans as well.
My mouth found her again as we both struggled to push our pants down and out of the way. Her body shook gently against mine. Or maybe that was me. This was...my pants now out of the way her hand grabbed me gently, stroking slowly and making all rational thought come to a dead halt. "Derek..." she moaned softly into my mouth.
I moaned in reply as my mind became blissfully blank. "Shit," I moaned as I swiftly pulled her underwear off. I vaguely heard her mention a condom and I rolled away from her to my bedside table, pulling one out and handing it to her. She expertly rolled it on, her touch causing me yet again to moan in ecstasy. She pulled my head down, kissing me hard as she stroked again, my body actually hurting from the need to be inside her. I pushed her harded into the bed, pressing my lips bruisingly against hers, feeling her body shake with the need that my body was pulsing with. I prepared to enter her. Slow, Derek. Slow. And then a phone rang. "Fuck," I muttered under my breath.
She stopped and pushed me off of her, getting up off the bed and walking to where her jeans lay, pulling her ringing cell phone out of her pocket. She stared at the display for a moment and then turned to me. "I'm sorry," she said breathlessly. "I have to take this."
"It's okay," I told her, rolling over in the bed, trying my best not to groan as I looked at her standing there naked. Her lips were swollen from our kisses, her body hummed with desire. And she had to take this phone call. I couldn't think of anything more important than what we were about to do, but decided to keep the complaints to myself.
"Hello?" she sighed as she flipped open her phone, apparently annoyed with the person. "What? No. No. Because it's your----I understand that but you can't keep----what? No. Because I'm out. You can't do this, not again. What? No, don't----okay. Yes. Yes. I'll be there in twenty minutes." She slammed the phone shut and then turned to look at me, pity and anger mixing. "Derek, I'm sorry. I, uh, have to go."
"You have to go?" I said disbelieving. She was standing in my trailer, naked and she had to go.
"Yes," she sighed, pulling on her underwear and jeans. "I don't want to but, I have to. Something, well, something has..." She trailed off as she struggled with her bra.
"Mer, are you ever going to tell me? Let me in?" I asked her gently. I didn't want to make her feel guilty, I didn't want to make her feel worse than she already did. But we had been about to have sex, and now she was leaving. I wanted in, I wanted to know.
She turned to me, tears immediately replacing the anger and desire in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said again. "You have no idea how sorry."
immediately felt like an ass. I jumped out of the bed, and ignoring the fact I was still naked and hard pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. "I know, Mer. I know. Just remember, you're not alone anymore. When you're ready to talk, to tell me, I'm here."
"I, I," she looked at me, her mouth moving soundlessly and then, "I can't. I just can't. And I have to go. I have to go now. And I'm sorry. I'll call you."
I watched her rush out the door and sunk down to my bed, completely forgetting my desire of only minutes before. I loved her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life time loving her. She was the one. But god, she needed to let me in. She couldn't keep running away, she couldn't keep pulling back. She obviously needed someone, and I had to be that someone. I needed to be that someone.
"We could end up making love instead of misery."