Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's, we'd be in bed getting our beauty rest for the SAG awards tomorrow. Instead, we're up late updating.
Meredith's hand felt good in mine as we walked up the driveway to her house. Dillon walking in front of us felt right. All of tonight felt right. The night hadn't been what I planned at all, but I had no complaints. The movie had been fun. Tonight had been fun. And something about all of this all felt almost too right. It was hard to imagine that over a month ago, they hadn't even been in my life.
Meredith squeezed my hand gently before getting her keys out to unlock the front door. Dillon stood quietly, which was a first for me. Even during the movie, Dillon had talked. It hadn't bothered me, it was cute. He had such intense reactions to each part of the movie, and I had found myself laughing more at him than at the movie. But now, he was definitely tired.
"Tired, bud?" I asked him, ruffling his hair as we followed Meredith into the house. I leaned over and kissed Meredith quickly and then went back to looking at her son, who looked like he wanted to drop where he stood.
"Not really," he mumbled as his eyes started to close.
"You sure about that?" I asked him gently.
He shrugged and then let out a big yawn. "Only a little," he admitted as he rubbed his eyes with his fist.
"Dillon, how about you go get ready for bed. I'll be up in a few minutes to tuck you in," Meredith offered.
"Can Derek do it?" he asked, his tired blue eyes sneaking a glance at me. "Can he, Mommy?"
Meredith looked at me, his questioning echoing in her eyes. It was obviously up to me, and there was no way I could say no. "Sure, bud," I said enthusiastically.
He smiled and then turned and made his way upstairs, dragging a little with each step. I'd be surprised if he didn't just curl up on the stairs right there. "He likes The Little Engine that Could," Meredith smiled at me. "And you have to say good night to him and his teddy bear. Whose name is Sam, by the way."
"Thanks," I said. "And thanks for trusting me with this."
She smiled and then turned to go to the kitchen. She seemed quiet. Not bad quiet, just, contemplative quiet. I don't think she had expected this. My willingness to go on a date with her and her six year old son. She was probably freaking out a little, which I understood. I just hoped she wouldn't pull away from me. "Derek!" Dillon's exhausted voice called. "I'm in bed now!"
"Be right back," I said quietly to Meredith, as I turned around and headed up the stairs, with a smile on my face. I had always wanted this, always wanted this life with kids and family. I wanted to be that guy who read his children every night. This was life I wanted. And somehow I had managed to find it with a tiny blonde I met in a bar.
Dillon was curled up in his race car bed with his teddy bear. The race car sheets were in a pile next to his feet and he was wiggling them. "I'm ready for bed," he said. "I even brushed my teeth. Wanna smell?"
"I trust you, bud," I told him sitting down on the bed. "So where's this book I'm supposed to read?"
He reached over to his bedside table, picked up the book, and handed it to me. "First you gotta tuck me in," he ordered. "You gotta make me into a Dillon 'ritto."
I laughed, picturing Meredith making up the term as I leaned over and wrapped his bed covers tight. "Dillon 'ritto it is."
He giggled and then pulled his teddy bear out from underneath the blankets. "Not a Dillon and Sam 'ritto. Sam doesn't like to be part of a 'ritto."
"Well sorry Sam," I said, addressing the teddy bear. I sat back down beside him, book in my hand and cuddled close as he closed his eyes, smiling widly at me. I opened the book I knew so well from reading it to my nieces and nephews. I had given up hope on ever having my own son to read it to. Not that Dillon was mine, but he was starting to feel like it.
"Derek," he interrupted at one point. "I gotta ask you something."
"Shoot, bud," I said.
"Which movie is better, Brother Bear or Brother Bear 2?" he asked seriously. "My daddy and I have been fighting about it for ever."
"Brother Bear 2," I nodded, taking the question as seriously as he had asked it.
"Me too!" he smiled. "My daddy says Brother Bear. You're smarter."
"You may not want to tell your dad that, bud," I told him, turning back to the book sitting on my lap.
He stayed silent for the rest of the book, except for muttering "I think I can" at some points. As his eyes started to flutter closed, I finished the book and put it aside. "All done?" he mumbled.
"Yep, bud, all done," I said, gently getting up from my place on his bed.
"Night, Derek," he whispered as he pulled Sam close.
"Nght, Dillon," I whispered back, smiling at him.
"And Sam."
"Night Sam," I laughed.
"Love you," he sighed as he turned over.
A lump suddenly formed in my throat. My heart tightened in my chest. "Love you too," I whispered, drawing in a rough breath as I leaned down and softly kissed his cheek.
I watched as his breathing slowed and then made my way downstairs, tears threatening to fall. It was the first time a kid other than my nieces and nephews had said I love you. And it felt good to hear it from Dillon. From the little boy whose mother I was in love with. I walked into the kitchen to find Meredith dipping into her tequila stash. Her hands were shaking and she was obviously trying to hold back tears.
I immediately was by her side. "Mer, hun, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said as she turned away from me. "I mean, really, everything is fine. Really, it's okay. Everything is great. You're reading bed time stories to my son who seems to like you right now more than his father. But really, everything's just fine. Better than fine. Really, really, fine."
"Oh, Mer," I mummered pulling her into my arms and rubbing her back. "It's okay. It's okay."
"I'm fine," she said again. "Really. Derek, I'm okay."
"You're fine," I said nodding at her. "But just so you know. I'm good here, Mer. There's no where else I'd rather be."
"You don't have to," she sighed. "I mean, you're so good with him. And this isn't what you signed up for. You met me in a bar and you got a kid and a girl with issues."
"Meredith, I signed up for you. If that happens to be a kid and a girl with issues that's fine. It's you I signed up for," I told her, holding her face in my hands, forcing her to look into my eyes.
She smiled a little, tears in her eyes. "So it's okay that we haven't had sex in a week, and might not for another week?"
"Cold showers have proved useful," I told her jokingly. "And it is okay, as long as I'm with you and Dillon it's okay," I finished all forgetting about my slight resentment from earlier in the day. Dillon was part of who Meredith was, and that was all that mattered to me. Meredith. The sex was just gravy.
She finally relaxed and reached forward and kissed me, softly at first and then deepening it, her tongue pushing my mouth open. I moaned into her mouth and she pulled away. "You know," she whispered, "Dillon is in bed."
"He is," I said, wondering if I should tell her what Dillon said. It might freak her out, it would freak her out, and with the promise of sex around the corner, freaking her out might not be the best idea. But she had the right to know. "He told me he loved me," I whispered, still kind of in awe.
"What?" she pulled back, her eyes widening.
"Right before I left, he told me he loved me," I said, embarassed to feel a single tear run down my cheek.
"Oh," she said softly. "Derek. I, um, he, talks about you all the time."
"Good, that's good," I said nodding slightly. "I love him too, Mer."
She looked up at me, her eyes shining with tears. "You don't have to."
"I know I don't," I replied, not bothering to explain further.
"Not many guys would love him," she sighed. "He belongs to someone else. But you, you're so good about this. You're just...um...I don't know. You love him."
"I do. And I love you too," I said gently, immediately noticing the widening of her eyes. "I know, I know it's soonish. And you don't have to say it back, I'm just...I'm putting it out there."
"Okay," she nodded and then leaned against my chest. "I can't yet."
"I know," I nodded, holding her close, grateful that she hadn't pulled away. It gave me hope that one day soon she could say it back. "So Dillon's asleep."
"He is," she murmured.
"Why are we still talking?" I asked, winking at her and leaning in for a kiss.
She giggled and kissed me back, her hands moving up to entangle her fingers in my hair. We kissed for a few minutes, my hands reaching up to the hem of her shirt, before she pulled away. "We should watch a movie," she grinned.
"A...you want to watch a movie?" I asked her confused.
She giggled and then made her way towards the living room. "Yeah," she replied. "Let's watch a movie."
I groaned but couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Her laugh was infectious and adorable and just about perfect. I reached the living room to find her bent in front of her DVD collection, ass up in the air and wiggling it far more than would be deemed necessary. "Mer..." I groaned.
"What?" she giggled, turning to look at me.
"You're a cruel cruel woman," I said, smiling and shifting uncomfortably, my pants feeling a little tight.
"What do you want to watch?" she asked.
"You," I told her, walking over and grabbing her by the hips, pulling her close to me and my uncomfortable pants. "But whatever you want is fine."
Katie says:
She rubbed against me a little bit, a sly smile on her face. "Hmmm, I bet you have some sort of preference," she murmured as she turned to me and kissed me, hard.
"Something porny, do you have anything porny?" I asked in a husky voice, pulling away from her lips but holding her close.
"Seriously?" she giggled. "I have a six year old."
"No porny? That's okay, we can make our own," I said, dipping my head down to kiss her again. Her lips parted as soon as they met mine, and I delved my tongue into her mouth, kissing her hard and fast.
She moaned into my mouth and we stumbled over to the couch, her hands already moving to the hem of my shirt to pull it over my head. We fell back onto the couch and I moved my hands to her breasts, massaging them as we continued kissing. "Derek," she moaned into my mouth.
"Hmmm..." I muttered, kissing her as I slowly rubbed against her, our jeans still seperating us. I pulled my mouth away from her, moving my lips to explore the dips of her neck, my tongue finding the place that sent chills down her spine. I loved when she shook against me
"Dillon," she sighed as her head fell back to allow me easier access. "He might wake up."
"Hmm..." I muttered again, understanding the seriousness of the dillema but not wanting to face it. Meredith tasted to good to pull away. Her body felt too right against my own. This shouldn't have to stop. My hand massaged her breast harder, causing her to let go a small gasp of surprise as I let my mouth find hers again.
"Seriously," she murmured, a little breathless, though she wasn't pulling away. In fact, her hands were moving down to the button of my jeans.
"Seriously, " I murmured back, my hands leaving her breasts and traveling in light touches to the hem of her shirt, moving to pull it over her head.
"Seriously, we're taking it slow," she undid the button and then moved to unzip them.
"I can take it slow, I can take it incredibly slow," I said, pushing her bra out of the way of my now roaming mouth.
"Slower than that," she moaned, this time pushing me against the arm of the couch, climbing on top of me. "He might wake up..."
"He might," I said nodding seriously, but catching her mouth with mine again, pulling her tongue into my mouth and gently sucking on it, as she let out a small gasp of pleasure.
She started grinding her hips against my very prominent erection, my body shaking with pleasure. Why were our pants still on? She continued her little lap dance, my brain slowly becoming completely blank. I pulled her down by her hair and kissed her, my hands moving down to her own jeans. "Mommy?"
No. No. No. No. This was not happening, this could not be happening. I had just watched Dillon fall peacefully asleep, a smile on his face. He was asleep and I was about to get sex, this was not happening. "Dillon?" Meredith said, pulling away from me, her voice breathless.
"There's a monster," he said as he came into the living room, Meredith reaching for her shirt and getting off of me. "There's a monster in my closet."
"Oh hun, I'll come and take care of that," Meredith said, concern edging her voice as I searched the room for my discarded shirt.
"He's big and scary," he whimpered. "Sam's scared too."
I sighed slightly, the fear in Dillon's voice making me forget the heat of seconds before. "Want me to come check on it, bud?" I asked him, pulling the shirt over my head and tactfully ignoring my still prominent erection.
"Can you chase him away?" he looked up at me, his eyes wide and tearful. "Cause he's hiding in my closet. And he's gonna eat Sam and me."
"Of course I can," I told him confidently and smiling reassuringly at him.
"Okay," he nodded, and reached his arms up to be picked up, his teddy bear hanging from his right hand. "You can protect me and Mommy. And Sam."
"That's what I'm here for," I said starting to walk towards him but stopping temporarily to give Meredith, who was standing there appearing to be in a large amount of shock, a quick kiss on the cheek. "If Lucas flakes next time, I'm going to kill him and make it look like an accident," I whispered in her ear, giving it a quick bite. And then I headed towards where Dillon stood and pulled him into my arms.
"How are you gonna chase him away?" Dillon murmured into my neck as we climbed the stairs.
"A secret trick my daddy taught me when I was your age. Want to learn it?" I asked him gently.
"Yeah," he nodded.
"Sounds good, bud," I nodded back, smiling down at Meredith who now stood at the bottom of the stairs. I had wanted sex, I had hated that sex had been interrupted. But when you were holding the person you loved second most in the entire world in your arms, reassuring him that you'd always protect him, it was hard to remember to be angry about a little less sex.
We went upstairs and he gripped my neck, tightening his grip as we got closer to his room. "My daddy says there's no monsters," he said. "But there is. He's in my closet."
"Oh there's monsters alright," I said nodding, and grabbing something that I had noticed earlier on the table in the hallway. We reached his room and I placed him on the floor again, and he immediately wrapped himself around my legs. I indicated the spray bottle that was in my hand. "Now, see, monsters don't like being sprayed in the face," I explained.
"Really?" he looked up at me, his eyes wide.
"Really," I said nodding very seriously. "So when there's a monster in your closet all you have to do is open it just a little bit and spray," I explained doing just that.
He giggled and let go of my legs. "Can I try?"
"Of course," I said, handing him the spray bottle.
He gripped his teddy bear close and opened the closet door a little, spraying into the empty closet three times. "He's gone," he said, looking up at me.
"Good job, bud," I told him, gesturing to his bed. "Ready to get back to bed?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Make me into a Dillon 'ritto again."
I laughed gently as I tucked him into bed all over again. "If he comes back, you know what to do. And if you need some help, your mom and I are here for you."
"Okay," he nodded. "Derek?"
"Yeah?" I asked him.
"You and Mommy shouldn't wrestle."
I bit back a laugh and quickly looked away so he couldn't see the laughter in my eyes. "Okay, bud, we won't."
"Good," he nodded. "Cause my daddy and his girlfriend wrestled once. And it's bad to wrestle. Aunt Izzie says so."
Lucas has a girlfriend? If he was blowing off Dillon to wrestle with some girlfriend I really was going to kill the man. Because I wanted to wrestle with my girlfriend. And Dillon was too great of kid do deserve anything less than the best. "Well if Aunt Izzie says so."
"She does," he sighed. His eyes were closing again. "Night again, Derek."
"Night Dillon," I said for the second time that night.
"And Sam," he mumbled.
"And Sam," I added.
I set the spray bottle down on his bedside table and went back downstairs. Meredith was sitting on the couch, her head in her hands. "Is he asleep?" she whispered.
'Yep, monsters have been slain," I told her, sitting down on the couch and pulling her towards me.
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"Don't be. Monsters happen," I said with a shrug.
"Lucas is taking him next weekend," she said firmly. "I told him if he didn't, I'd sic Cristina on him."
I laughed gently. "Then we will finish what we started then," I told her nodding. "How about we throw on that movie now?"
She turned to me and smiled lightly. "Actually, I'm kind of tired. Are you, um, I mean, do you, errr...are you going home tonight?"
"Do I have to go home tonight?" I asked, smiling at the prospect of sleeping beside her again, holding her all night, even if it meant waking up far too early the next morning.
"Um," she looked down at her hands and then looked back up at me. "Not if you don't want to."
"I definitely don't want to," I told her, gently rubbing my lips against her cheek.
"Okay," she nodded and then got up, taking my hand. "And then you can show me how to kill the monsters."
"Oh that's mine and Dillon's secret," I laughed, quietly following her up the stairs. I had wanted sex. I knew Mark was going to give me a hard time about the lack of sex. But this is what I really wanted. Tucking Dillon into bed and then falling asleep beside Meredith.
Here I am, this is me, there is no where else on earth I'd rarher be.