King's Cross train station was exactly the same as it had been sixteen years ago when he had last taken the Hogwarts Express his seventh year. Muggles were crowding the sweeping station, rushing this way and that, oblivious to the fact that magic was hidden in their midst. Remus strode almost automatically to the barrier separating platforms nine and ten. He carefully checked to ensure that no one was around, then hastily stepped through it.

There was no one there. As Platform Nine and Three-Quarters materialized in front of him, he realized that he was alone. Good, that was the way he wanted it. He had, after all, arrived an hour and a half early for that particular reason.

The Hogwarts Express was sitting complacently on its tracks, and Remus vaguely wondered if it sat in this precise spot the majority of the year before a wave of memories crashed over him.

He was a first year, running through the barrier with his parents in tow. As soon as young Remus went through it, though, his eagerness vanished and was replaced by a bad case of shyness as he watched hundreds of other students excitedly putting their possessions on the train, gathering in clumps to greet their friends, and hugging their loved ones farewell. Remus recoiled from the others, remembering that he was different. For a moment he wondered if he should even bother making friends, fearing that he would be shunned by them if they found out what he really was, but it scared him far worse to know that if he became part of their lives they would be in grave danger. He was different from everybody else, and these differences made him feel isolated. But the next moment a boy had strolled up to him, introducing himself as "Serious" (what kind of a name was that?) and asking him for his name in return.

It was third year, and the four of them were in a compartment together as the train rolled past a country field of green mixed with yellow. The sun was still high in the sky, meaning that a good portion of the journey was yet to come. They were playing Gobstones as they munched merrily on the treats that they had bought from the woman with the trolley. Peter was taking his turn but it was apparently a bad move – the Gobstones turned on their places on the board and spewed a liquid with a rather disgusting odor all over poor Peter. He looked so bewildered and utterly shocked that the other three could do nothing but laugh hysterically, rolling around on top of their cushioned seats as Peter and his brand new robes were drenched with the black, inky fluids. Before long, though, even Peter couldn't help but smile.

Now they were sixth years and they were rather recklessly throwing magic around the compartment, both to amuse each other as well as show off. Remus' prefect duties for the ride were over and he had returned to his friends, but Lily was still patrolling the corridors and she told them off when she caught James carelessly transfiguring Sirius' head into a pumpkin. She put it back with a swish of her wand and Sirius' head returned, looking disoriented. Lily shouted a bit at Remus about being a prefect, and as her robes swished out of sight and the compartment door made to slam close, Peter transformed into a rat, scurrying down the corridor until he reached the witch with the cart full of sweets. He made several trips, returning with only as much as he – in rat form – could carry, until the woman caught him and caused a ruckus at the sight of a rat. When she arrived at their compartment some time later, they hid the robbed good innocently in their robes and bought some more.

It was seventh year and this time Lily was with them as the train headed back to King's Cross station for the very last time. She sat next to James and shrieked with mirth at their jokes, sometimes torn between horror and amusement. Snape spent an awful lot of time stalking past their compartment, as if he wanted to catch Lily and James doing anything he did not approve of. Luckily, he found nothing of the sort, and Lily glowered every time he skulked past until James made her laugh again. They enjoyed pumpkin pasties and chocolate frogs together, as well as one final game of Gobstones for old times' sake. The four of them – no, five of them – were given one last chance to curse old Snivellus, and to the surprise of the boys, Lily joined in the laughter. They stepped off the train and onto the platform, knowing that they were now free in the world of magic...

"No, no, NO!" Remus yelled at himself, finally putting a cork in the flow of memories. He staggered to a bench where the early birds could sit and wait. His heart was pounding as if he had just encountered a chimaera (and fought it off), and his breath was coming in great rasps, slightly choked with dry sobs.

Even though he had spent the last two months planning this school year, even though he had written pages of notes and ideas for lectures, he had never counted on this.

His friends had meant the world to him. They were there when he needed them, and they had given up and done so much for him. They had accepted him when he thought that no one else would, even when they did discover his secret. He had thought that the four of them would never be torn apart, not after all they had done together and been through. But now, he was the only one left, struggling to deal with the inner demons that haunted him with memories of what had been and never would be again.

Well…perhaps he wasn't the only one left.

He pulled out the newspaper bearing the face of Sirius Black, and man he thought he had known. Remus looked sadly at the picture. His eyes were gaunt and hollow now, no longer full of light and life. His skin was waxy, his hair a tangled black mane. He was but a ghost of the handsome man he had once been.

But then, Remus thought angrily, shoving the newspaper aside, what made him do it? He had sent three people – three of his best friends, for that matter – to the gates of heaven many, many years before they had been due to arrive there. Sirius, who had been the best man at James and Lily's wedding. Sirius, the moody but brilliant one. Sirius, who had befriended him in the first place. Sirius…who had betrayed them all.

Suddenly, Remus was exhausted. The full moon had been less than a month ago, but it was a little over a week away now. In his frantic rush to have everything ready for his new job and his haunted memories of the past, he had slept very little. Shaking off the last of his goose bumps, he walked to the Hogwarts Express and seized a door that magically popped open as he drew closer. Remus chose a compartment as far back as he could possibly go, hoping that the students would be content to leave him alone here. He stowed his case with the words 'Professor R.J. Lupin' inscribed on the corner in the luggage rack, then settled himself next to the window.

There were a few people on the platform now, milling about aimlessly. Remus let his head rest wearily on the windowpane, gazing unseeingly at the young wizards and witches outside. His brain felt fuzzy and darkness was gathering at the corners of his vision. Oh, how wonderful it would be to sleep for once…

He succumbed to it and drifted away.

"Who's that?"

"Who's that?"

"Ginny?"

"Hermione?"

"What are you doing?"

"I was looking for Ron—"

"Come in and sit down—"

"Not here! I'm here!"

James?

"Ouch!"

"Quiet!" Remus said, suddenly realizing why the compartment had gone pitch-black. He whipped out his wand and muttered a few well-chosen words, and then the compartment was filled with flickering light. He took inventory of the others sharing his compartment: three boys (James, he thought with a lurch) and two girls.

"Stay where you are." His voice had not yet woken from its nap. Remus moved toward the compartment door with his handful of dancing flames stretched out in front of him. Unfortunately, the dementor had beaten him to it. It drew a rattling breath and the familiar cold gripped them all. He watched the boy that looked so much like James collapse, sprawled on the floor and twitching. Remus stepped around the boy until he was so close that he could touch the dementor.

"None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go." But it was to no avail. The dementor merely stood there, obviously enjoying the terror it was inflicting on the students. Very well then, he would have to help it along. He summoned the memory of James, Lily, Sirius, Peter, and himself sharing a compartment on this train for the last time before they were dumped on the doorstep of the merciless and unforgiving world. "Expecto patronum," he said very quietly, and his silvery Patronus charged at the dementor. It glided backward and the door slammed as the Patronus chased it through the corridors.

Remus turned to face the children. The redheaded girl – Ginny, he thought he remembered – was shivering uncontrollably, and a ginger-haired boy that may have been her brother was gaping wordlessly at the door. The other girl had eyes round as saucers, and the round-faced boy was very pale. Harry was on the floor, though he had stopped twitching.

"Are you alright?" he asked kindly, and they all nodded, still looking uneasy. "What are your names?"

The boy with red hair answered first. "I'm Ron Weasley, and that's my sister, Ginny." Remus nodded. His suspicions had been correct.

"Neville Longbottom," muttered the other boy.

"My name is Hermione Granger." Her eyes were normal-sized now. "And this is Harry…Harry Potter." She gestured to the unconscious boy on the floor and glared at Remus as though daring him to gasp at the name. The lights flickered on and very slowly the train began to pick up speed again.

But Remus remained impassive and calm. He had, of course, known that this was James and Lily's only son, had known it before he had even seen him. The students called Hermione and Ron – he should have known him, too, he was Arthur's son – had slid off their seats and were kneeling on either side of Harry, gently prodding him and calling his name softly. Neville was standing next to him, watching Harry, Ron, and Hermione with concern. It wasn't until Ron and Hermione had progressed to tapping his cheeks and yelling that Harry stirred. His brilliant green eyes – Lily's eyes – flickered for a moment before he sat up, and Remus saw that he was drenched with sweat. Ron and Hermione seized him and put him back on his seat as he started stammering questions. Remus pulled a gigantic piece of chocolate out of a wrapper from his robes and started breaking it into pieces. He offered one to Harry.

"Here. Eat it. It'll help."

Harry accepted it but didn't seem to acknowledge what he had said. "What was that thing?"

Remus was giving chocolate to everyone else now. "A dementor. One of the dementors of Azkaban." He stared around at them all as he rolled up the empty wrapper; none of them had eaten that chocolate. "Eat. It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…" And with that he strode out of the compartment and into the buzzing corridor.

Apparently the dementors had checked the entire train, because as he moved past every compartment he saw students that were pale, shaking, jumpy, or all of the above. He had been planning on some sort of check by the dementors and had been prepared with some chocolate but not enough for the entire train. He cared for those that seemed to be the worse for wear, though none had reacted quite as Harry had. He finally made it to the front of the train where he encountered the witch that pushed the trolley, the very same one as when he had been a student. He quickly asked her if there was a way he could convey a message to Hogwarts. The witch smiled and pointed at a very old owl perched on the edge of an empty luggage rack. He borrowed a piece of parchment and a quill and hastily wrote a message to…Professor McGonagall, he decided. Harry was a Gryffindor, he had seen as much from his Hogwarts robes, and she was more apt to take care of this situation than Dumbledore was. The owl hooted mournfully when Remus attached the note to its leg but flapped off into the lashing rain.

"How long until we reach Hogwarts?" he asked the lady pleasantly.

"About fifteen minutes, I believe," she replied as she put the items she hadn't sold back into a storage bin with a wave of her wand. He thanked her and headed back to the other end of the train once more.

When he reached the compartment, he couldn't help but smile when the chocolate he had distributed was still uneaten. "I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know…"

Harry took a bite and Remus was pleased to see a little bit of color seep back to his pale face.

"We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes. Are you alright, Harry?"

Harry told him he was, but Remus could tell that he was troubled by the night's events. He let the subject drop.

The carriage ride, this time, was a lonesome one, though the sight of the thestrals was a bit shocking at first. It didn't take him long to figure out what they were, it was only that he hadn't been expecting them. He did not dwell on them, though, and just let the creatures pull him along. When he got out of the carriage, carrying his battered case, he heard a drawling voice taunting someone, then a more familiar one responding.

"Shove off, Malfoy."

Aah. The Malfoys.

"Did you faint as well, Weasley? Did the scary old dementor frighten you too, Weasley?"

"Is there a problem?" This wasn't prefect duty, he was a teacher now. He wasn't about to let a fight break out right under his nose. He saw the blonde boy size him up, taking in his tired eyes, darned robes, and the sad little case.

"Oh, no – er – professor."

He caught the sarcasm but did not care. He was used to rejection.

The students gathered in the Entrance Hall and Remus followed them as well. However, instead of going through the doors to the Great Hall he slipped into a hallway to the left. He followed the passageway, smiling to himself; this corridor was usually only for the teachers but Sirius had discovered it in his fourth year, and now Remus no longer needed to use the Invisibility Cloak to access it. This corridor led to the room behind the Great Hall, where he knew several staff members would probably be seated, waiting for the students to arrive.

Sure enough, when he pulled the tapestry of a medieval minstrel open, he found Professors Flitwick, Hooch, Sinistra, and Snape sitting comfortably on the couches and chairs. The patched and frayed sorting hat was sitting in a corner on a stool, waiting to be carried into the hall. Remus paused for a moment; he hadn't known that Snape was a professor at Hogwarts. He willed himself to remember that times had changed and Dumbledore trusted him.

He broke from his reverie and stepped forward with a smile. "Severus! I must admit, I am surprised to run into you here, but pleasantly so."

Snape looked, for a moment, as if he was about to raise his eyebrows, but he managed to stifle it. "I am the potions master here, Lupin."

"Listen – Severus –" He knew he had to do this…he wished that he had done it many years ago. But unfortunately, he hadn't and now that time had come. "I know that our schooldays together are not exactly fond memories. I know that we were —" Snape stiffened "— often very cruel to you, and I know that it is not possible that after all that has happened between us for us to become friends. I also want to let you know that I have felt guilt and remorse for every time we taunted you." He paused, waiting for the last line to sink in. Snape's eyes pierced his own. "I'm sorry, Severus. I know that wounds this deep will never heal, and that it is hard to forgive and forget; I understand that. But I'm sorry, and I hope that, while you may not forgive me for damage done in the past, you will find it possible to work together as colleagues."

Snape's face remained stony and impassive. Apparently he could not think of anything to say, because he stalked to the door at the other end of the room. He wrenched it open and turned back to Remus.

"You're right. I will never have room in my heart to forgive you," he hissed. "By the way…if I get any wind of you helping your dear old friend back into the castle, you may find that my tongue will slip and the whole school shall know of your…monstrosity. Oh, the parents won't like that, will they?" He sneered and slammed the door behind him. Flitwick, Sinistra, and Hooch looked at Remus curiously; they had been deep in discussion during his exchange of greetings with Snape. Remus sighed and moved to hold open the door for the others as the students filed into the Great Hall.

The Sorting ceremony passed uneventfully, and Remus spent the majority of his time in wonderment. How very strange it was to be sitting facing the students instead of the other way around! Dumbledore made his usual speech and introduced him to the school. Remus was perfectly aware of Snape's twisted, loathing glower and he did his best to ignore it. He couldn't honestly be bothered – he had extended his apologies and a hand of friendship, or at least of truce, and it would be Snape's choice to take it or leave it. But, he thought as he munched on a spiced chicken breast, it's rather difficult to eat when someone's throwing hate glares at you.

Author's Note: I would like to point out that I did use words straight from JKR's hand in this chapter, and I give her full credit for those words, which were taken from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.