AN: Glad you guys liked the last chapter. Here's more for ya. Enjoy.
"Oh, my head," Dorian said, sitting up in bed. Her skull felt like it was being pushed apart in all different directions. She craved water for her dry mouth, but the nausea pushed the idea away.
Sam finished highlighting the passage in the demonology book he was studying and glanced over at her.. "That's usually what happens when you have a hangover."
She threw her legs over the side of the bed and dropped her head into her hands. "Stop yelling would ya?"
Sam smiled to himself. He hadn't been yelling, but to Dorian he probably sounded like he was talking through a boom speaker.
"How'd I get back here," Dorian asked. Her voice was muffled from her hands.
Capping his highlighter Sam put the book down and went over to her. "What's the last thing you remember?"
"Uhhh," She dropped her hands. "Lonnie and his buddies came to the bar trying to make trouble."
He sat on the bed across from her. "Nothing after that?"
She started to shake her head, but after her brain bounced off the wall of her skull she thought better of it. "No."
"You put on a pretty good scene," Sam said, leaning back. He intended for Dorian to know everything that had happened. Although it seemed she was suffering enough.
Dorian moaned. "Oh no. What happened?"
Sam leaned over and pulled a bottle of pedia light out of a bag. "Here drink this."
She looked at it and wrinkled her nose. "Uh isn't that for little kids who have diarrhea?"
He laughed. "Yeah, but trust me it's a great hangover cure."
Reluctantly Dorian took the bottle and started sipping on it. "Where's Dean and your dad?"
"They left a few hours ago to question the victim's family," Sam told her. Dean had wanted to be at the motel when Dorian woke up, but after Sam and John wouldn't stop arguing he left Sam with her, figuring that at least if Dean went they could get the job done. Sam and John would probably only kill each other.
She snorted. "I wouldn't exactly call them victims." She downed another swallow. Her head was already starting to go down to a dull throb.
"What happened?" Sam asked, changing the subject. "Before you went to the bar I mean."
Dorian looked at him curiously. "Why do you think anything happened?"
"You mean besides the fact that you basically ripped me, Dean, and my father a new one?" He tilted his head. "Then again it could be the fact that you were completely smashed."
She looked away. "It was stupid. I never should have done it."
"Done what?" Sam asked.
She set the drink on the table and shook her head. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing all right." She stood up and started for the bathroom.
Sam jumped up and grabbed her by the arm. "Something obviously happened. Something that drove you to drink a whole hell of a lot."
Dorian felt tears well in her eyes. She jerked her arm away from Sam and hugged herself. "I made a dumb ass mistake, all right. I went somewhere I shouldn't have gone and there were just too many memories, too many bad memories."
"Where did you go," Sam asked gently. She was close to telling him. He didn't want to bark at her and stop her form saying anything. More importantly he didn't want to give her a reason to get pissed off. That seemed to be her defense as of late when she didn't want to say what was truly on her mind.
"I went to my mom's grave," She whispered. "My dad had never allowed it before. I always had to do it in secrecy." She shrugged and roughly wiped away a stray tear. "I was going to go to the diner, but then for some reason, I had this urge to go to my mom's grave. Almost like she was calling me to it you know? I just wanted to see her."
Sam pulled her into a hug.
"I just got so angry," She said into his chest.
"It's all right," He soothed her. "There's nothing wrong in wanting to see her."
"It's funny," She said. "When we found out we were coming here I told myself I wasn't going to go to the graveyard. I wasn't going to let my emotions get in the way of doing our job. Then low and behold I do it anyways." She sighed into him. "I don't know what I said, but I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Sam said earnestly. He understood why she was so angry. He felt the same way whenever he went to Jessica's grave or his mothers. That along with a lot of guilt that he was still working through.
Dorian didn't bother to tell him the rest. She didn't know why. She didn't keep secrets from Sam or Dean, but for some reason, she just didn't think she could tell him. Not now. Maybe in a few days, when the news settled into her own mind.
She had an uncle. Someone who she'd never known existed. Someone who never cared enough to check up on her, but he cared enough to come to Ruddington after her father was dead. She knew how her father could be. There was no guarantee that he didn't beat the living hell out of his own brother as well.
Brother. Rodney had never mentioned that word. Never once had he called Rick his brother. Maybe, just maybe there was something he had to say worth listening to after all. Dorian wondered if maybe Rodney could tell her about her mother.
"Dorian?" Sam asked, looking down at her.
She pulled away, and wiped away her tears. "I was just thinking that there's so much I don't know about my mom." She walked over and sat on the bed, drawing her knees up to her chest. "My dad would never talk about her you know? I don't even have any pictures of her because my father burned them all."
Sam walked over and sat next to her. He had been lucky. He had a few pictures of his mother that weren't destroyed in the fire. He had the stories his father told him on rare occasions. Dorian didn't have any of that. "You have every right in the world to be angry." He sighed. "But why are you still angry with me and Dean?"
Perplexed, Dorian looked up at him. "What are you talking about? I'm not angry at you guys."
"Could have fooled me with what you said last night."
"What," She asked, nervously. "What did I say?"
Sam took a deep breath and relayed the events from last night back to Dorian. Her face scrunched, her eyes widening just a bit.
When Sam finished she shook her head and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that."
"I think you did," He told her. "A lot comes out when your drunk. Most of it true." He smiled sadly at her. "You've been keeping this to yourself for a long time now. Why didn't you ever talk to us about it?"
She smiled back at him. "It's not a big deal. I'm not mad at you guys."
"Why are you lying about it," He pressed. "Why won't you just talk to me?"
Dorian rolled her eyes. "You don't talk in your family. You yell, you scream, you argue, but you don't talk."
"We talk," Sam argued.
"Yeah, you talk about hunts, and about the job, but when it comes down to personal problems, none of you talk."
"Dorian that's not true."
She laughed. "Right and when your dad walked in the room yesterday you were so anxious to talk to him. The first thing you did was attack him."
Sam sighed. She was right. He had to admit it. Sam and his father forever argued. They bumped heads. They had different views in just about everything and neither of them could accept each other for the way they were. Not that Sam was willing to admit that out loud. Instead he said, "I was angry at him yeah, but Dean and I talk. We talk to each other all the time."
"Yeah, after you've had an all out fight," She retorted. "You do a five minute little make up session and that's it. You were wrong, he was wrong. No one's ever sorry, but that's just how it is." She sighed in frustration. "Look, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Everyone fights, I get it." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I just grew up with so much fighting. I got beat down so many times..."
"You think we would do that to you?" Sam asked outraged.
"No," She said quickly shaking her head. "No, I know you guys wouldn't." She looked up at him, eyes weary. "But the fighting, the yelling that's all part of it. And besides, you may not beat me down, but you'd have no problem leaving me behind."
Sam sighed. "Dorian..."
"Don't say it's not true, Sam," Dorian snapped. "You guys have already done it once before. You and Dean would never think of doing it to each other, no matter how much danger you were in. With me it was different. I'm not family, so I'm expendable."
"How can you think that," Sam all but shouted. "One, you are family, you said it yourself! Two, you are in no way expendable!"
"One," She mimicked. "I said that you were my family, not that the feeling was mutual. Two, if I'm not expendable then you never would have left me with Missouri and I never would have been..." She trailed off.
"Possessed," Sam finished for her. He nodded in understanding. "That's what this is about." He stood up in front of her. "You blame me and Dean for the demon possessing you."
"No," She yelled, standing up. She was extremely shorter than Sam, but her glare still reached his eyes. "That was my fault. I was stupid and instead of locking Trevor in the circle I pulled that damn thing into me. What I blame you guys for is not being there when I needed you!"
"What did you need us for," He asked. "If whatever it was so important why didn't you tell us!"
Dorian shook her head and put her hand up. "You know what," She whispered. "I can't do this right now."
She walked over to the table and sat down. She slammed her elbow into the chair hitting directly on the funny bone. "Damnit!" She shook it off and pulled on her shoes.
"Dorian where are you going?" Sam asked. "You can't go out in this town alone."
Dorian roughly shoved her hair out of her face. "For the millionth time, I can take care of myself! I don't need you or Dean! I'm not the abused little kid that you found anymore!"
"I never said you were!"
"You know," She snapped standing up. "If you and Dean would have more confidence in me, instead of trying to protect me all the time, maybe, just maybe we wouldn't be in this predicament, but the fact is that neither of you believe that I can do anything on my own! I always need to be protected! I always need to be sheltered! Well you know what? You can both go to hell and take your father with you!"
She stormed out of the motel room, slamming the door behind her.
Sam just stood at the door, mouth agape. He didn't know what to do. Dorian had never been so harsh, with the exception of last night, but she had been drunk then. Now she was totally sober and just as angry. Sam thought maybe he was beginning to understand why.
TBC...