Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy we wouldn't be writing fanfics. We'd be fucking Patrick Dempsey. Because we'd own him.

It was far too early, too god damned early. I didn't want to be up this early. But Webber had called and begged me to do this for him. And once he told me about the little girl, about her case, I couldn't say no. I'd want a doctor to do the same thing for Megan. I'd want the best. So I was up early. A week had passed since the incident as Mer and I called it, and life was normal. And I didn't want to be up this early.

I stood underneath the water in the shower, rubbing my eyes as I groaned. I had taken time off. I was supposed to be at home with my fiancee and our son. But instead, I was up at five thirty in the morning, taking a shower before going to work for a consult and surgery. A surgery that I specialized in. A surgery I had practically invented, or at least perfected. I had to save a life. But it was so damn early.

Meredith woke up with me, I told her not to but she did. She smiled and told me she wanted to make me breakfast, get me off to a good start to save the little girl's life. It was adorable. I wanted her to sleep, but it was adorable. And I liked knowing she cared, knowing that she wanted to be there for me on this. In the last week things had been perfect. Well close to.

She seemed down. Not in her stressed out way, but actually sad and agitated. Since the day before, my Meredith just seemed to be floating through life, doing whatever she had to do. And then there was Dillon. Dillon who was usually a huge ball of energy had sat in front of the tv all day yesterday, not moving, just watching TV. And he wouldn't hold Sam. I couldn't figure it out.

I asked but she didn't answer. She smiled and said things were fine and gave me a quick kiss. I knew it wasn't about us, I knew we were fine. I just didn't know what was getting to her, to both of them.And I wanted in. I kind of felt like a stranger in my own home.

I finished my shower and got dressed, putting on slacks instead of my usual jeans. Webber had told me there was a very important visitor to the hospital that day and to please try to make myself presentable. So slacks it was. But I kept with my sweater and button down combo, I wouldn't be in the outfit for very long anyway. After I finished dressing, I went downstairs to see Mer attemping French toast. "Morning," she smiled at me, though her eyes seemed empty.

"Morning," I smiled, kissing her deeply.

She seemed to resist the kiss for a moment and then smiled, pulling away. "French toast," she shrugged. "At least, I think it's French toast."

"I'm sure it's great," I smiled. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Derek," she insisted again. "What about you? Nervous?"

"Terrified," I admitted, leaning against the counter. "It's just, Megan's on the way. And it makes all the little girls seem more...special."

"You've done this surgery before though, haven't you?" she asked as she put the French toast on a plate for me.

I laughed gently. "Mer, I perfected this surgery, it's my surgery."

"Oh," she said softly. "Then you'll be fine. Just...do the surgery."

"I know, it's just..."I sighed, resting a hand on her stomach. "Megan."

"Megan's fine," she smiled, putting her hand over mine. "And she'll always be fine. And if it were her, would you want her doctor to be terrified to do the surgery? Or would you want him confidant?"

"Confident, definitely," I nodded, smiling when I felt a little ripple underneath it.

"She says good morning, Daddy," Meredith smiled lightly, though again, I could see her heart wasn't in the smile. Or even the words.

"Meredith, tell me what it is. I can help," I urged her, wrapping an arm around her and puling her close.

"Derek, really, I'm fine," she sighed. "I'm just tired. And nervous. In less than three months, we're going to have a baby."

"It's kind of scary," I nodded, pressing a light kiss on her temple. "We can do this though."

She didn't nod or say anything, she simply sighed. "I've been thinking."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Maybe you should go back to work," she said as she got up to pour me a glass of milk. "I know you say you don't want to. But Derek, I see how you are. You're eyes are shining, you have this calm about you. You love surgery. So maybe surgery. Part time. And then after Megan's born, go back to your full rotation."

"Mer, I like being home. I love being home," I argued. "I'm not going back."

"Derek, surgery is who you are," she said. "You love surgery. You love saving lives. And it calms you down. You shouldn't be wasting that on sitting around the house with your fat pregnant girlfriend."

"Surgery is who I am," I agreed nodding. "But I'm also a future husband and a father. And those things come first. They will always come first."

"I really think you need to go back," she said. "I really do."

"Why? What's going on?" I demanded gently.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I just. You love it. You love your job. And you're working towards being chief. And Megan and I, we're fine. We're perfectly fine. And you should be doing your job. Saving lives. Saving little girls. And doing surgeries. Long surgeries. Surgeries that get you known. And you shouldn't worry about us. Because we're fine. Totally fine."

"Meredith, this is where I want to be. Right here. Yes, I'm happy to be cutting today. But I don't want to be doing surgeries, I don't want to be working on getting known. I want to be right here," I told her, looking straight into her eyes.

"Whatever," she said, pulling away from me and turning towards the sink. "You're going to be late."

"Meredith, we made the deal that I can't push you away again. You have to do the same," I told her.

"Derek, you have a little girl to save," she snapped.

"Fine, this is me leaving," I told her, kissing her quickly. "But this conversation is not over."

"Yes it is," she sighed. "It's over."

"I'm going to figure out what's going on with you," I said walking towards the door. "I love you."

I wasn't sure what she mumbled, but it sounded suspiciously like, "I know you think you do."

I had no idea what was going on with her. It wasn't our last fight, I knew that. We had been good for days after the fight, amazingly good. And then about three days ago she had drawn back. Nothing had happened, not that I knew of. But she pulled back. Her and Dillon, they had gotten quiet, they had gotten sad, and I had no idea why. But I needed to find out.

I drove to the hospital in absolute confusion, but pushed it to the back of my mind when I was told there was a mandatory meeting for everyone in one of the conference rooms. I dropped my briefcase off at my office and went into the room, looking around. Webber was standing next to a petite older woman with strawberry blonde hair. "Okay, ladies and gentlemen," Webber got the attention of the room. "The rumors have been flying around. And yes, they are true. This is Dr. Ellis Grey, from Boston General. I'm sure most of you have heard of her."

Dr. Ellis Grey. One of the greatest surgeons in the world. Ever. Meredith's mom. The mom she still had told me nothing about besides the fact she existed. The mom I knew she had a bad history with. This was not good. She didn't need this, not today, not when she obviously had so much on her mind. But I smiled, I had to smile. I didn't even know if Ellis knew I existed.

"Dr. Grey will be with us for the next few days," Webber continued as the whispers of excitement died down, "to monitor our procedure and instruct us all on becoming a better hospital and surgical team. Her work at Boston General as chief of Surgery have caused the hospital to be one of the most recognized in the nation. You should all be prepared to perform surgery with her or for her."

I had to operate for Meredith's mom. Part of me knew I should be thrilled, Dr. Grey was one of the best. To operate with her, it would be an honour. But she was Meredith's mom. My children's grandmother. I was marrying her daughter In, well I don't know when. But the fact remained, she was Meredith's mom.

The group dispersed. I moved to the door, prepared to go surgery, but Webber called me back. I walked up to him and Meredith's mom, Dr. Grey, who had blue eyes, friendly blue eyes. "Dr. Grey, this is Dr. Derek Shepherd, head of neurosurgery. And quite frankly, my replacement when I retire," Webber smiled at her. "Shep, this is Dr. Ellis Grey."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Grey," I said, reaching out my hand.

"It's wonderful to meet you as well, Dr. Shepherd," she shook my hand firmly. "I've read of your work. Very impressive. And I have to ask, are you related to the late Dr. William Shepherd?"

"Thank you," I nodded. "He was my father."

"I should have known," she smiled lightly. "He was a brilliant surgeon. I worked with him once or twice. Very dedicated to his craft."

"He was," I nodded again. Meredith's mom had known my dad. Strange.

"Shepherd has a little girl with Rasmussen's encephalitis," Webber told her.

"It should be a good surgery," I said.

"Ah yes, the hemispherectomy," she nodded. "A surgery you nearly invented, Dr. Shepherd. I would very much like to assist, if that is all right with you?"

"That would be an honour, Dr, Grey," I nodded taking her in. She looked like Meredith. Her face was harder, more stern, more in control. And Meredith had entirely different eyes, but there was no question who her daughter was.

"Wonderful," she nodded firmly. "I will meet you in the scrub room then, Dr. Shepherd. Ten minutes?"

"I'll be there," I nodded.

I watched as she walked off with Webber, their heads bent together as they laughed. I was operating with Meredith's mother. She hadn't said anything when she had heard my name, which meant Meredith apparently hadn't told her about me. Or our relationship. Or the fact that we were expecting a baby. I allowed myself a moment to panic, wondering if I should say something

But something told me Meredith hadn't told her mother about me because she hadn't talked to her mother. Meredith never mentioned her family. Well she did, her unofficial family from med school, but never her real parents. I barely knew a thing. And it never bugged me, because the people that were important to her, they knew me. And that was enough. But meeting Ellis, it felt like she should know.

I changed swiftly into my scrubs, deciding that I would talk to Meredith about this. Ellis was in town for a few days, Meredith and I could have her over for dinner and we could tell her then. Meredith needed to tell her. Even if they didn't get along, she needed to know. And it wasn't my place to tell her that I was engaged to her daughter and expecting a baby.

For now she's just be Dr. Ellis Grey. That caused enough nerves on itself, I didn't need to consider the fact she was my fiancee's estranged mother. Scrubbing in with a doctor like that, even on my surgery, was terrifying. Especially out of practice. It had been a week since I cut, and before that it had been a few weeks. I hadn't been practicing.

I walked into the scrub room to see her already scrubbing in, her hair underneath a black scrub cap. "I had a chance to look over the patient's file," she told me swiftly as she scrubbed her arms. "Two and a half, presenting with focal left side seizures. Originally diagnosed as a simple brain abnormality." She smiled at me, rolling her eyes. "The doctors at County don't know their heads from their asses."

"It's hard to diagnose if you don't have the right technology," I tried to say.

"You know as well as I do, Dr. Shepherd, that county isn't interested in top of the line care," she said firmly. "In and out is their motto."

"True enough," I nodded. "But they brought her here, at least her parents were smart enough to do that."

"Yes," she nodded. "Smart. Otherwise, their daughter would be dead. Are you ready, Dr. Shepherd?"

"I'm always ready," I anwered turning to look at everyone else in the room. "Hello everyone! It's a wonderful day to save lives...let's have some fun!"

Once I had the little girl's head open, life slowed down for me. The calm came over me and I remembered that this surgery was my surgery. I could do it with my eyes closed, if I needed to. I worked quietly as Dr. Grey stood next to me, acting almost as an intern as she watched me work. "I worked with your father on one of his final surgeries," she told me quietly. "His death was a true loss."

"It was, it really was," I nodded, trying not to concentrate on thoughts of my father while I was trying to save someone else. My mom being sick had brought it all back. and I knew if I thought about my dad my thoughts would lead to my mom. And quite frankly I'd rather the fear of Meredith's mother.

"You are interested in becoming chief," she stated frankly as she suctioned for me.

"It's always been a dream of mine," I nodded. Although honestly I hadn't thought of it in months.

"It must be more than a dream, Dr. Shepherd," she said. "You must want it with every fiber of your being. There are plenty of talentless vultures who have dreams of becoming chief."

I looked up at her, wondering exactly how this woman had raised the woman I loved. They were polar opposites. "I want it," I nodded.

"Then you must be dedicated," she advised. "Nothing should get in the way. No one should take your thoughts away from becoming Chief. Richard will retire, and you want him to think of you immediately. Dedication and talent will make you the easy choice."

I didn't know how to respond, I didn't know what to say. Because up until meeting Meredith I had been focused and dedicated, being Chief had been all I wanted. And then there was Meredith, and Dillon and Megan. And suddenly I wasn't focused anymore, I wasn't as dedicated. My family came first. "There's no question about the talent," I laughed nervously.

"Most certainly not," she nodded. "Your many accolades precede you. I was very much hoping I'd be allowed to see you work."

"I'm honoured," I nodded.

"Are you married, Dr. Shepherd?" she asked.

"No, not married," I shook my head, contemplating telling her I was engaged. But then she might ask a name, and I couldn't go there, not now."Good. Make sure it stays that way. Marriages complicate things," she said. "Spouses never understand the amount of work, and children rarely appreciate the time and effort."

I nodded silently, afraid to speak. Because something about how she said that rubbed me the wrong way. Ellis had been married, Ellis had a daughter. A wonderful amazing daughter. And yet that didn't seem to phase her. "I'll umm...remember that."

We worked quietly for the rest of the surgery, Ellis pausing sometimes to ask me questions, but otherwise, the surgery went quickly and finished without a hitch. A neurology resident offered to close up and Ellis and I stepped into the scrub room, taking off our gloves and masks. "Truly fascinating, Dr. Shepherd," she nodded as she began washing her hands.

"Thank you," I nodded, washing my own hands.

"You know," she said, looking at me, "I myself have been considering retiring to write a novel and travel. And so far, there haven't been stand out candidates for the position of Chief of Surgery at Boston General."

"Oh...ummm...okay," I answered.

"I could offer you a position," she said next. "Head of neurosurgery. A promise to become chief when the time comes. How much is Richard paying you?"

"Oh...umm...2 million a year," I said, clearing my throat awkwardly.

"I could offer you six," she stated. "Perhaps eight if you require more leverage. There is nothing tying you down here, and you would see fascinating cases. And it is closer to New York, where I'm sure you still have family. I would seriously suggest you consider it, Dr. Shepherd.'

6 million dollars? Ellis Grey had just offered me 6 million dollars to work for her. "Oh umm...well umm...I'll...I'll think about it."

"I'll fax you any information you need," she said as she dried her hands. "It was a pleasure to work with you, Dr. Shepherd. I will speak with you later." And with that, she swept out of the room, leaving me stunned.

I couldn't even imagine that amount of money. That was a lot of money. Tons of money. With a promised Chief of surgery role. Technically, that's exactly what I had been waiting for my entire life to stumble upon. It was the opportunity of my life. But Dr. Grey didn't know the details of my life. My mom was sick, my family needed me. And I had Meredith. I had my new family.

I knew my mother would tell me to accept the job. I knew Mark would probably have a heart attack. I knew my sisters would go insane with jealousy. But I didn't know what Meredith would do. She had her family here. And Dillon's family. I couldn't accept the job. I couldn't tell Dr. Grey that I would love to pick up my life and move to Boston, and yet, it was tempting. Very tempting.

It was the opportunity of a lifetime, I knew that. And that shook me to the core. The one thing I had literally been working for my whole entire life sat in front of me on a silver platter. With lots of money. And yet, I couldn't take it. My life, mine and Meredith's life was her in Seattle.

I went to my office and changed out of my scrubs into my street clothes, my heart racing. Six million dollars a year and a promise to become chief of surgery. It had been my father's dream. And it had been my dream since I was eleven years old. Every surgeon in the world wanted this sort of offer. Every surgeon in the world wanted to work for Ellis Grey. I got in my car and drove silently home, my thoughts jumbled.

"Meredith?" I asked walking into the house.

She was sitting in the living room, staring off into space, the TV playing something that she obviously wasn't watching. A pregnancy book lay on the floor, and her hand was over her belly. "In here," she mumbled.

"Why didn't you tell me your mom was in town?" I asked, sitting down beside her.

"What?" she asked, staring at me.

"Your mom," I restated. "She scrubbed in with me today."

"My mom?" she asked. "Um...my mom...here in town?"

"You had no idea?" I asked. Somewhere along the ride home it occured to me that maybe Meredith did know. It would explain her quietness.

"Um..." she sighed. "No, I did. Dill and I went out for breakfast with her yesterday."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, leaning over and rubbing her stomach.

"Because you have enough to worry about," she answered. "Your mom and the surgery. I didn't want to burden you with my mom."

"Meredith, you should have told me. It's not a burden. I'm your fiance, you can tell me these things," I said.

"Not this," she said firmly. "I can't tell you about my mom. That's...that's my problem."

"Last time I checked we were getting married. We share a bed. We share a son and we share a baby. We share everything Mer. There is no your problem, my problem," I told her.

"Derek, it's my mother," she sighed. "My mother. Who I don't talk to except for maybe once a year. When she calls for Dillon's birthday. If she remembers to do that. Okay? I didn't really feel like telling you. Can we drop this now?"

"No, we can't," I shook my head. "Because she's your mother. You're part of my life, you know it all Meredith. I have a right to know. I'm marrying you, I'm spending the rest of my life with you."

"She's my mother," Meredith said. "And she's the best damn doctor in the world. That's it."

"Does she know about me? Did she notice your enlarged stomach? The ring on your finger? Didn't she have questions?" I demanded to know, rubbing her stomach.

"I, uh, didntwearmyring," she said quickly.

"You what?" I asked. I didn't want to get mad at her, after everything I had put her through, I didn't want to get mad. But she hadn't worn her ring. "You took off...and what did you do with the stomach?"

"She didn't really ask questions, Derek," she sighed. "She said I obviously hadn't learned my lesson. That was it."

"Meredith, why didn't you tell her? You should have said something, stuck up for yourself, told her about us," I said, grabbing her hand tightly.

"Look, it doesn't matter," Meredith stood up. "It doesn't matter. She's in town. She did her obligatory meeting with her daughter and illegitimate grandson. Now she'll leave and that will be it."

"I want to meet her," I said, firmly, standing up beside her.

"No," she said. "No. And you already met her."

"I met her as a doctor. I need to meet her as her future son in law," I demanded.

"No," she shook her head, pacing. "You are not meeting her. She's not meeting you. No one is meeting anybody. There will be no meeting."

"Meredith Grey, your mother needs to know about me. She needs to know I exist. She needs to know that this baby has a father, that's completely there," I told her.

"Derek, she doesn't care," Meredith shook her head. "She doesn't care about grandchildren or fiances. All she cares about is medicine. That's it. I'm not in her life. Dillon barely knows her. Megan probably won't either. So it really doesn't matter."

"It matters to me, Mer. I want to meet her, I want to be able to shake her hand and proudly tell her that you belong to me, that I'm going to marry you. That matters to me," I urged.

"Derek, drop it," she said, wringing her hands nervously.

"I can't, Mer. I can't drop this. I'm your family now, and I want your mother to know that," I nodded.

"I said no!" she yelled. "I said no and that's it. We're not discussing this anymore."

"Meredith, I want her to know who I am. I'll tell her at work if I have to," I said. I hated doing this. But Meredith was my family. And whether she wanted her mom to know me or not, she needed to know me.

"You wouldn't dare," she hissed at me.

"I would," I crossed my arms.

"You know, you have a trailer you could stay at," she glared at me before stomping upstairs.

"And you'd miss me in an hour," I shouted up the stairs. I'd give Meredith time to stew, to throw things, to think and then we'd talk later.

I sat and stared at the TV for about thirty minutes, fully intent on telling Ellis about my relationship with her daughter. And I'd have to tell Mer about the job offer, maybe. I stared at the mindless TV and then turned it off just as Meredith came down the stairs. "Get dressed."

"What? Where are we going?" I asked jumping up.

"Out," she said. "Mark is coming in fifteen minutes. And she hates when we're late so get dressed. Now."

"We're going to see your mom?" I smiled, I couldn't help smiling.

"Yes," she frowned. "And get that dumbass grin off your face. I'm going to kill you. I hope you get that. Tonight will be your last meal."

"Do I get some good bye sex when we get home? Before you will me?" I laughed.

"I don't know why you're laughing," she said as she started upstairs. "This really isn't funny."

"Meredith, relax. Your mom likes me already," I told her, pulling my good looking red shirt out of the closet. Tonight was a a night for the big guns.

"I don't care if she likes you," she said. "Spending time with her is stressful enough. Are you telling me you liked her?"

"She didn't seem to bad," I shrugged. "She's makes Cristina look like a teddy bear, but yeah...I liked her."

"Yeah, she has that effect on people who aren't related to her," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You never talk about her," I said, slipping on my pants. "How bad of mom is she?"

"Derek, she's the best doctor in the world," she stated. "Do you think she became that by coming to all of my ballet recitals and school plays? By tucking me in at night?"

"No," I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Mer."

"Don't apologize," she pulled a black dress over her head. "She's not your mom, okay? She's not warm and cuddly and she doesn't cook."

I nodded slowly biting back any more questions. Now wasn't the time to talk. I'd figure it all out over dinner, until then I'd just stay quiet. Meredith had given into this, into letting me meet her mom. I didn't know how much more I could push anything.

The door bell rang and Meredith went downstairs. "Hi, Mark," she said. "Dill's upstairs in his room. See if you can get him to talk."

"What's wrong with Dill?" Mark asked, smiling hello as I headed down myself, adjusting my tie. I hated ties. And jackets. They weren't me. But I had a feeling Mer would have a nervous breakdown if I tried to get away with anything less.

"My mom," she rolled her eyes as she gave him a hug. "And these days...well...I think it's safe to call you his best friend.

"I'll get him to talk," Mark nodded. "You two crazy kids don't have too much fun without me tonight."

"Whatever," she kissed him lightly on the cheek, a sisterly kiss, but it still made my skin crawl a little. "Bye, Mark. Come on, Derek."

"Call me if anything happens with Mom," I told Mark, racing out the door behind Meredith, who was moving faster than I had seen her do in months.

We drove silently, Meredith seething in the front seat. She was wringing her hands and her mouth was set in a frustrated line. "Take off your tie," she snapped.

"What?" I asked, completely confused.

"You look like an idiot," she sighed. "Just wear the jacket. That should be fine. I hate you right now."

I took off the tie knowing she was right. It wasn't me. "You can't hate me," I pointed out her stomach.

"I can hate you," she said. "I can and I will. And Megan doesn't like you either right now. You're pissing off your daughter before she's even born."

"Mer, after tonight we never have to talk to your mom again. I just...I want her to know you're not alone anymore," I sighed.

"She doesn't care if I'm alone," Meredith stated. "She doesn't care. And this is going to be hell. Imagine the worst moment of your life and then multiply it by like, a thousand. That's an evening with my mom."

"Meredith, relax. I'm here, it won't be that bad," I whispered, hoping to sooth her.

"It will be worse because you're here," she sighed as we parked. "Okay, I have to pee. I'm sure you'll find her."

"Alone? You want me to introduce myself?" I asked, a little worried.

"Just...get a table," she said. "Or something. I don't know. We have two minutes to spare, I'll be quick. And anyway, she liked you, remember?"

"Yeah...but..." But Meredith was already gone. I asked the hostess for a table for 3 for Grey, knowing that it's what her mother would ask for and was led to a table right near the front window.

"Dr. Shepherd," Ellis smiled at me. "What a pleasure. Imagine meeting you here."

"Oh...ummm...Dr. Grey," I cleared my throat. "Good to see you."

"Have you given any thought to my offer?" she asked.

"Not yet," I nodded, "I just have to discuss it with some people."

"Six million, Dr. Shepherd," she reminded me. "Most would leap at the chance."

"I know, I know," I groaned. "It's just...there are things to...consider."

"Dedication," she said simply. "Remember to be dedicated. Now, I would love to talk to you more, but I'm meeting my daughter and the father of her unborn child for dinner. It's all a bit, well...it's Meredith for you. I will talk to you later."

"Actually..." I cleared my throat and met her gaze head on. "The father, that would be me."

"Excuse me?" she said, raising her eyebrows, just as Meredith came to us. "Meredith."

"Mom," Meredith greeted her, giving me a panicked look. "So you...you've met Derek."

"Derek?" Ellis stared at her daughter. "I've met Dr. Shepherd, yes. And how do you know him?"

"He's umm...well Der...he's..." She reached out for my hand and I squeezed hers tightly. "He's my fiance."

"Sit," Ellis ordered. "You're engaged?" She looked at me.

"Yes, mam," I nodded.

"This is ridiculous," she shook her head. "Engaged to my daughter? You?"

"Yes mam," I nodded again. "I love her."

"And I thought you were dedicated," she shook her head again. "But really, you're unfocused. Love. Surgeons don't love, Dr. Shepherd. You're just like the rest of the idiots. Unfocused. Unmotivated. Not dedicated at all. A disappointment. Your father would never approve."

"I have to disagree," I told her evenly. "My father loved my mother very much."

"Surgeons cannot have families," she said frankly. "I think your father would have agreed with me."

"My father had a very large family, and he was a good dad. Just like I'm going to be, like I am," I said proudly, feeling Meredith clinch my hand tighter.

"And he died young," she stated.

"Mom!" Meredith gasped, squeezing my hand tightly and shooting me a concerned look. "Don't...no, not Derek. You don't get to talk to Der like that."

"How old were you, Derek, when your father died?" she asked me, completely ignoring Meredith.

"I was ten," I answered quietly.

"Ten," she nodded. "And you have two older sisters, correct? One who I believe was fifteen at the time of his death?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Kathleen was 15, Nancy was 12."

"Ask Kathleen what it was like then," Ellis said as she took a sip of her wine. "Meredith will tell you. You still viewed him as a hero. A man saving lives. Kathleen knew what it was like for Daddy not to come to her events, because he was too busy. She resented it, I'm sure."

"Kathleen loved my father very much. He didn't miss anything, he never missed anything. He was there," I said, still keeping my voice calm. I wanted to storm out, I want to hug Meredith, tell her she was right and leave. But I couldn't.

"Your children will resent you," she promised me. "Meredith resents me. Kathleen resented your father, I'm sure Nancy did as well. And your mother. Your mother most certainly resented him. They'll never admit it. But it's the life of the surgeon."

"No one resented my father. And none of my children will resent me. The kind of...the kind of parent you are depends on the person you are, not the job you have," I said, taking deep breaths to remain calm.

"And it amazes me you are with Meredith," Ellis waved her hand dismissively towards her daughter. "Someone so disgustingly ordinary. Who lacks complete focus in life. The type of person who drops out of medical school after getting pregnant. Not at all the person I would see you with, Dr. Shepherd."

"Excuse me?" I asked, some steel blending into my voice. Attacking my family I would allow, because I knew every word she said was a lie. But Meredith...her own mother spewing such shit about my Meredith.

"We both know Meredith isn't anything special," she said. "She used to be. I raised a fighter. A passionate, focused fighter. And now, now she's nothing but a mother who works as a physician's assistant, scrambling to make enough money. I would think you would be with a woman more your equal."

"Meredith is extraordinary. Meredith is passionate, she's a fighter, she's amazing. She's beyond special and is entirely my equal. Meredith is the love of my life, and I refuse to let anyone talk so poorly about her," I said, my voice still lowered but anger tinging it.

"No Meredith, it's not. It's not fine for someone, anyone, to talk about you like your nothing. It's not fine," I argued gently with her.

"This is disappointing," Ellis said. "I thought more of you, Dr. Shepherd. Than to give into whatever feelings you think you have for my daughter. She's a young fling. That's it. A way to satisfy some urge you have. Disappointing and disgusting. She is a mess. What happened to you, Meredith?"

"Mom...I...mom," she sputtered, tears forming in her eyes as she looked around the restaurant to see if any others were watching this display.

"You've become this terrible mess and you're raising a mess," she said. "That son of yours is weak. And I'm sure you've somehow made Dr. Shepherd here take responsibility for him?"

"She's done no such thing. Dillon is my son, just as much as Megan will be my daughter. Because I want them, Meredith did nothing to force them on me," I snapped.

"The offer is off the table, Dr. Shepherd," she stated. "I thought I was offering the job to a surgeon who understood that a family is not conducive to a career in surgery. To a surgeon who was dedicated and focused. Not to a man who is with a mess of a girl and obviously entirely uncaring about his career."

"I wouldn't have taken it anyway," I shrugged, getting out of my chair. "Come on, Mer, we're leaving."

"We are?" she asked, her voice shaking a little.

"We are," I nodded firmly, helping her out out of her chair and wrapping my arm around her, holding her shaky body close to me and then turned back to Ellis. "Don't expect any part of your granddaugher's life."

We walked out of the restaurant before Ellis could answer. I held Meredith close to me, almost supporting her when she stumbled. "Der," she whimpered.

I immediately pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry, Mer. God, I'm sorry."

She cried in my arms, shaking against me. "She...she's right, you know," she sobbed. "I'm...I'm ordinary."

"No, Mer, no you're not," I whispered, rocking her gently. "You're amazing, you're one of a kind, You're extraordinary. I'm so lucky to have you."

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize...she knew your dad. I didn't know. I had no idea."

"It's okay, Mer. It's not your fault. She didn't know what she was talking about...no one...no one in my family resents my dad. He had it both," I said, rubbing her back soothingly. "So will I."

"You don't have to," she sighed, pulling away for a moment. "You could go back to work. And I could...we could forget this."

"I could never forget about this," I whispered, desperately pulling her close to me again. "I could never forget about you. And I will go back to work, eventually I'll go back to work. And we will have both. If for no other reason than to piss that bitch off."

She laughed a little and then nodded. We started walking towards the car again, before she stopped and turned to me. "Der, what was she talking about? What offer?"

"She's thinking of retiring to write," I sighed. "She offered me chief in Boston. I was going to tell you."

"Are you serious?" she asked. "Were you considering it?"

"It crossed my mind, it's what I've been dreaming of forever. But only if you were willing to come with me. That was my deal breaker," I breathed deeply, hoping she would understand. "No decision was being made until we had a long talk."

"How much did she offer?" she asked, a smile at the corner of her lips

"Six million," I breathed.

"Oh my God," Meredith coughed. "Derek, we can go back in there and apologize."

I laughed and pulled her against me. "I think the only way your mother would re-extend the offer is if I left you, and 6 million dollars just isn't worth it."

She nodded against my chest and then looked up at me. "I love you, Derek Shepherd."

"I love you too, Meredith Grey," I smiled. "How about we stop and get pizza and a movie and pretend that never happened?"

"Okay," she nodded. "Though...you know...Mark thinks we're going to be out for another three hours."

"Hmmm...okay, we get pizza and head to that spot over looking the ferry boats," I suggested changing my plan.

"Yeah," she nodded. "That sounds perfect."

You're beautiful just the way you are and I love it all, every line, every scar. And I wish I could make you see, this is where you ought to be.