Disclaimer: If we owned GA, the only reason Mer wouldn't be able to breathe would be the result of a very long, hard, amazing sex session with Dr. Derek Shepherd.
I woke up early the next morning to run to the hospital and check on my patient, on the little girl who had had major brain surgery twenty four hours earlier. I watched her parents sit with her, playing with her, hugging her, laughing with her and I felt my throat constrict for a moment. Watching Jamie had made it so easy to imagine my own little girl that would be coming soon. The little girl who now moved underneath my hand, who seemed to respond to my voice. "Hey Princess Meggie," I whispered to Meredith's belly. I used to hear about dads doing this and think they were absurd. Not anymore. "Just a little over two months and we all get to meet you."
I smiled as I felt my daughter respond by kicking my hand, strongly, firmly. My daughter. My little girl. I would have my little princess in just two and a half months. There were times when I woke up in the middle night, so excited I couldn't breathe. "Where have you been?" Meredith whispered as I enjoyed the feel of my daughter moving.
"Went to the hospital to check on Jamie. She's doing well," I answered, gently kissing her stomach.
"Good," Meredith sighed as she burrowed further underneath the blankets.
"We should go shopping today," I said, moving to wrap my arms around her. "Get some more stuff for the nursery."
"Hmm," she sighed, moving further towards the edge of the bed and further away from me.
"Mer?" I questioned, pulling her back to me.
"You should go to work," she mumbled.
"People don't usually go to work on vacations," I forced a smile on my face. Meredith was still on me to go back and I still wasn't sure why. I wanted to be here, I thought she wanted me here. What was I missing?
"People don't usually take four month long vacations," she said into the pillow.
"They do when they have a baby coming. And when they've never taken a vacation before," I argued, trying to sound light hearted even though I wanted to shake her to know what was wrong.
"No, most people do not take four months off when a baby is coming," she insisted. "Especially surgeons. Who save lives. And..." She trailed off.
"Mer, what's wrong? You know I want to be here. I think you like having me here. What am I missing?" I asked, pushing some hair out of her face.
"Nothing," she shook her head. "Nothing."
"Meredith, it's something," I nodded. "Is it about what your mom said?"
It's nothing," she repeated. "Okay? I just...want to stay in bed today. Not move."
"You can't stay in bed all day," I frowned.
"Why not?" she asked.
"People don't stay in bed all day," I answered, tugging her gently into a sitting up position. "We have things to do. Stuff to get done before Megan gets here."
"A week ago you didn't want me to move out of bed," she pointed out as she laid back down.
"A week ago you were on bed rest," I shot back.
"Maybe I should be on bed rest again," she said, pulling the blanket over her head.
"Mer, what's wrong? I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong," I said, pulling the blanket back down.
"You're everywhere, all the time," she said. "And you say things."
"This is the happily ever part," I kissed her quickly. "And in the happily ever after part the guy is here, all the time, saying things. and the girls love it."
"Just...go downstairs. Stop hovering," she said as she pulled the blanket over her head again.
"Mer, I'm not hovering. I'm doing that thing you said I could, you know, that taking care of you thing," I told her, my hand smoothing over her forehead.
"Well, I'm fine," she said. "I just want to stay in bed."
"Mer, you can't," I urged, moving to pull her out.
"If you touch me, I will slap you," she stated firmly. "I am staying in bed. I don't want to get out of bed today. I just don't."
"Fine," I conceded. Her staying in bed was probably a better idea than starting a fight. It had to be her mom upsetting her. I'd give her her time. "I'm downstairs when you're ready to talk."
"You should be going to work," she muttered.
"You should be getting out of bed," I shot back.
"I'm on bed rest," she said.
"You're not," I sighed, heading towards the door. "I love you Meredith."
"Go," she frowned.
I didn't have any idea what was going on. Last night had been perfect. We had sat for hours talking, eating pizza and watching the ferry boats go by. She told me more about her childhood than ever before. We had both had a long talk with Megan. And we talked about my childhood, my dad. It was perfect. And now she didn't want to get out of bed.
My cell phone rang in my pocket and I stared at the display. Mark. "Shep," he said before I even said hello, "Ellis Grey just operated with me. The woman who pioneered plastic surgery just finished surgery with me."
"Did you tell her Dillon calls you uncle? She would have loved that," I said bitterly.
"What?" Mark asked. "Why would we talk about Dillon?"
"You do realize Ellis is Meredith's mom?" I asked.
"Woah," Mark breathed. "Meredith is...Ellis Grey...Meredith is royally inbred?"
"She is," I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "Not that being raised by Ellis is something to brag about."
"She didn't seem bad," Mark laughed. "Intense. But not bad."
I laughed into the phone. "Yes, that's how she treats complete strangers. But family, her own daughter, not so much. The things she said about Mer...I never want to see that woman again," I said.
"Wait," Mark stopped me. "You met her? You met Mer's evil mother who makes Mer feel inferior and has made her think she'll never be a good enough mother to Meg?"
"What? What are you talking about? Meredith doesn't think she'll be a good mom..." I trailed off. "We had dinner last night."
"Is Mer okay?" Mark asked.
"No, no she's not. She was fine last night, we left the restaurant and had a great time, just the two of us. But now..." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Now I don't know. She refuses to get out of bed."
Mark was silent for a minute. "Has she eaten?"
"No," I shook my head. "She won't talk to me, she keeps telling me to go to work. She's...I'm worried about her. She's nearly 7 months pregnant, she can't do this."
"She's not in any pain is she?" Mark asked, though it sounded like he was outside now. "Because Addison was telling me about this woman who right before she went into labor just lay in bed all day. I thought it was weird but you know, pregnant chicks are weird."
"She seems fine. She's just...I don't know. She's not there, she's distant and not just there," I sighed.
"I'm coming over," Mark said, and I heard his car door slamming. "Tell her to get up and get dressed. Or I'm dragging her out in her pajamas."
"What? You don't have to...Mark, why would you come over?" I asked, looking at the phone in confusion.
"I just am, okay?" he said. "I'll take her out to lunch. Change of scenery. The house has to be driving her crazy."
"Okay, I'll tell her," I nodded, still confused. But if Mark could get her out of bed, could get her to talk, that was all I really wanted.
"Good. Tell her she has exactly eleven minutes to move that pregnant ass of hers." The line clicked and I stared at my phone, confused as all hell.
I had no idea what was going on, what Mark thought he had over me that would get her out of bed. But I was willing to go with it, for Meredith, I'd go with it. I just wanted her smiling again, I wanted her to be Meredith again. I went upstairs and sat down on the bed, rubbing her back. "I thought I told you to go to work," she said, not opening her eyes.
"I'm not listening," I shook my head. "And Mark told me to tell you you have 11 minutes to get your pregnant ass out of bed before he's here and he'd drag you out. "
"He's such an ass," she sighed but got up anyway.
"What? You get up? I fight with you for hours and you lay here. And Mark...what's going on, Mer?" I questioned.
"Nothing, Derek," she sighed as she pulled on a new pair of jeans.
"Meredith, you can talk to me. I'm here. To talk to," I urged.
"I have nothing to talk about," she said as she put on a t-shirt.
"But you have something to talk to Mark about?" I asked.
"What, are you jealous?" she asked, staring at me.
"No, I'm not," I shook my head. "If you...if you want to talk to Mark, that's fine. It is. I just wish you'd confide in me, let me in too."
"I'm fine, Derek," she insisted and then went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, one hand massaging her back a little.
"No you're not," I sighed. "But...just, talk to Mark, Mer. Talk to anyone. I just, I want my Meredith back. I want you to be happy."
"Maybe I'm not the happily ever after type of person," she said after spitting out her toothpaste. "And I'm fine. Really. Perfectly, one hundred percent fine."
"Meredith...just..." I breathed and walked into the washroom, stepping behind her and pulling her close. In our reflection in the mirror I could see tears in my eyes. "I need you to get through this Mer, to not push me away. I need you."
"I know you need me," she snapped, pulling away. "You always need me. I get that."
I blinked back tears. This wasn't my Meredith. It was like living with a ghost, this wasn't my Meredith. When I told my Meredith I needed her she hugged me and told me she needed me too. This was not her. "I'm uh...I'm going to go check on Dill."
"You do that," she nodded and went back into the bedroom, slipping on a pair of flats and grabbing a light coat.
I smiled sadly at her. I wanted to tell her I loved her, that I'd wait for her, but knew that meant nothing much right now. So I retreated to my son's room. He wasn't much better than his mom, moping for days. Maybe he'd talk. He was sitting on the floor, pushing a train around the floor, a frown on his face. Sam was on his bedside table, completely forgotten and ignored. I sat down next to him and watched him push the train around silently.
"Hey bud, everything okay?" I asked, smiling invitingly. Or what I hoped was invitingly. I was beginning to feel invisible in my own home.
"Yeah," he nodded but said nothing else. No greeting. No blinding Dillon smile. No Sam.
"You know you and your mom are giving me headaches with all this pretending nothing is wrong when obviously everything is," I said.
"Nothing's wrong," he mumbled.
"Dillon, you can talk to me," I urged.
He shook his head quietly. "I have to be a big strong boy," he told me.
"No you don't," I said. "I can be big and strong for both of us. For all four of us."
He shook his head again and stopped pushing the train just as the doorbell rang. He jumped up and ran downstairs, Meredith coming out of the bedroom just behind him. "Uncle Mark!" he shouted.
Apparently Mark was more welcome in my own home than I was right now. And I didn't even know why. I had screwed up in the past, I knew that. But I thought we had worked past that, I thought Meredith and I had worked it out. But still, Mark was welcome, Mark was allowed in. I wasn't.
"Hey, kiddo," Mark grinned as he ruffled Dillon's hair. "You know, I was hungry today at work and thought I'd have some Skittles. You cleaned me out last night."
"You were the one that wanted to gamble with Skittles over Go Fish," Dillon giggled.
"Yeah, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box am I?" Mark laughed. "Hey, Mer, I gave you three extra minutes. You should be thankful for traffic."
"I was ready, I didn't need extra time," Meredith responded, smiling slightly. This felt wrong. Mark was in my spot, he was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
"All right, let's go," Mark grinned at her. "What's Meg craving today? Cause I'm not going to that Mexican restaurant again. Disgusting."
Meg? He had a nickname for my daughter. He knew Meredith's cravings. I wasn't sure how I had ended up outside my own family. "A burger, a big greasy burger."
"I can do that," Mark nodded. "I'll have her back in a couple hours, Shep."
I nodded, wiping tears from my eyes quickly, hoping Mark hadn't noticed them. Meredith had been right, I was jealous. Not because I thought something was going on. Mark would never do that. Meredith would never do that. But Mark had the place in my family I was supposed to have. Mark could offer them comfort I couldn't. And I was jealous, because right now, I wanted to be where Mark was.
Mark gave Dillon a quick hug. "I'll see you later, kiddo," he smiled. "And this time, we're playing with Hershey's Kisses. Think Sam will want to join us today?"
"No, I don't think so," Dillon pouted.
"Too bad," Mark sighed. "Sam was a good player. He didn't cheat like some almost seven year olds I know."
"I didn't cheat!" Dillon protested.
"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," Mark laughed and then put a brotherly arm around Meredith. "Let's go, Mer."
And then they were gone, my fiancee gone to get the support of a man that wasn't me when she tried to tell me that everything was fine, as if I could accept the blatant lie. I turned to find Dillon still standing there, looking a little lost without his bear. "So bud, what do you want to do for lunch?"
He shrugged, his eyes immediately going blank. "Don't know."
I was going to break. this was going to break me. I couldn't do this, I couldn't feel useless again. Not when I could be here. I crouched down to Dillon's height. "Dill, I'm your daddy Derek, right?"
"I guess," he nodded. "If you still want to be."
"Why wouldn't I?" I asked completely confused.
"Cause you got bad again," he told me. "Mommy cried and Uncle Mark came over and made dinner. And tucked me in. And that means you were bad again."
"Oh bud, I know. But your mommy yelled at me, we're good now," I told him. "You can still give me a timeout if you want."
He shrugged and went into the living room, turning on the TV and curling into himself. "Maybe later."
"I'm sorry I bad again, bud," I said, sitting down beside him. "But I'm here now. You can talk to me."
"Mom says we can't make you sad," he said carefully.
I smiled gently at Meredith's need to protect me, when she refused to let me do the same for her. My Meredith was strong. "It's okay, bud. I can take it," I reassured him.
"Uncle Mark says you're scared," he told me.
"Scared?" I asked, not quite sure what I was supposed to be scared of.
"Yeah," he nodded. "That Grandma's going to die. That Mom's really sick. That my sister is going to be born soon. He says you're scared."
"Oh," I nodded. "I am scared. But it's okay to be scared sometimes."
"Uncle Mark says you can be a...a...well, he said a bad word I can't say," Dillon said, a smile lighting up his face for a second.
"I can imagine," I laughed. "You spend a lot of time talking to Uncle Mark, don't you?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "He's my best friend."
I smiled and ruffled his hair. "He's a good best friend. But just because he's your best friend doesn't mean you can't talk to me too. Even if I'm scared and can sometimes be a bad word, you can talk to me."
He got up and went into the kitchen, grabbing a coloring book and crayons. He sat down on the floor and began coloring, his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth. "Is my Mom sick?" he asked.
"No, your mom is fine. She's just a little sad right now. And tired. But she's fine," I nodded, although a tiny fear in the back of my head told me I might not be telling the truth, because I really didn't know the truth.
"Uncle Mark is her friend too," he said. "She talks to him when she can't talk to you. When you're being bad."
I hated this. I hated that I had been so caught up in my own drama that I had forgotten about the most important two, that I had forced them to talk to someone else. "I don't know, bud. I'm not being bad now, and she still won't talk to me."
"Uncle Mark 'stands," he said. "He knows. He says his mommy was really bad. Like Dr. Grey."
That thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I knew Mark's mom, I knew why he was basically a Shepherd. And yet it hadn't even occurred to me. "Mark's mom was pretty bad. You don't like Dr. Grey very much, do you?"
"No," he shook his head. "She's mean. And she makes Mommy cry. And...and..."
"What? What did she do?" I asked, putting a comforting hand on his back.
"She said Sam was a bear," he sniffled. "And that if I wanted to be a big boy, I wouldn't have Sam. That I was just a baby. I'm not a baby."
"Oh bud," I said pulling him into my arms. "Of course you're not a baby. But Sam's your brother. You don't have to give up Sam to be a big boy."
"She said if she were my mommy, she'd take him away," he cried. "She tried to. And Mommy got really angry. And they yelled at each other right in the restaurant. And people stared and Mommy cried."
"Was this at breakfast?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he nodded. "And Mom was crying really hard and she couldn't drive because she had an owie and Uncle Mark came and got us. And took Mommy to see Addson. But Addson said everything was okay. But Mommy couldn't stop crying. And she told Uncle Mark and Addson not to tell you. And she said I couldn't either. Am I gonna get in trouble?"
"No, Dillon. Thank you for telling me. I needed to know," I said. Meredith should have told me. Something had happened, something involving my daughter and she hadn't told me. "We're family, Dill. You know what that means?"
"Aunt Izzie says it means we take care of each other," he said.
"We do," I nodded. "It also means we stick together no matter what. Even when I'm bad. Or when mommy cries. Or when you have a temper tantrum. We stick together."
"Okay," he nodded and then hugged me tight. "I love you, Daddy Derek."
"I love you too, Dill," I hugged him back. "And I also love Sam. I think he's probably lonely upstairs all alone."
"Probably," Dillon nodded and jumped up. "It's okay, then? Dr. Grey won't take him away?"
"Dr. Grey isn't your mommy. Mommy is. And Kimmy. And me and your Daddy. We're the only four people that can take him away and none of us will," I nodded.
"Okay," he nodded and then ran upstairs, finally acting like, well, Dillon.
This was good, I had fixed something. It wasn't a major something but it was a step. Dillon had talked to me, Dillon had come to me. And we were good now. My stomach knotted at the thought of everything Mer had kept from me but I couldn't blame her. She was scared, she was watching out for me. I'd just wait till she got home and I'd find a way to fix that too.
Dillon and I colored together for the next couple of hours. Sam sat next to us, a crayon in one of his paws as Dillon talked incessantly. It was great to hear his voice again, to hear his excited giggle when he was telling me something exciting. He asked questions about Megan and talked about being a big brother, his eyes shining. Finally, the door opened and Mark and Meredith came in. "Hey guys," I greeted them giving Meredith a quick kiss, relieved to see she was looking a little better. "How was lunch?"
"Great," she answered me. "Very good."
"Thanks for taking her out Mark," I said, grabbing Meredith's hand and pulling her close to me. "Now if you don't mind I'm stealing my fiancee. I need to talk to her. Dill's in the living room colouring."
"No problem," Mark grinned. "Hey, kiddo, I bought some chocolate...whaddya say to a game of Go Fish?"
I heard Dillon squeal in excitement as I led Meredith up the stairs. She followed without a fight, she kind of looked numb. But that was okay, I could work with numb. I sat her on the bed and kneeled in front of her. "Meredith Grey-Shepherd," I started, using the married name that wasn't hers yet. "We're family, you know what that means?"
She looked at me for a minute. "Derek," she sighed.
"Meredith," I cut her off. "We're family. I means we stay together no matter what."
"I know," she nodded. "I know."
"Dillon told me about breakfast, about you going to see Addie. You should have to told me," I said, reaching out to run my fingers through her hair.
"It was," she sighed, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Braxton Hicks, again. Stress induced. Again."
"Mer, you should have told me," I said, pulling her into my arms. "If I had known I would have never suggested dinner with your mom."
"I didn't want to worry you," she whispered. "Not yesterday. Not when you had to perform the surgery."
"I would have been able to handle it," I told her. "I just...I need you to let me in. A lot goes on in that head of yours, and you need to let me in."
"With everything going on," she shook her head. "You can't handle all of this, Der. Your mom. Surgeries. The race to be chief. Me. Dillon. Meg."
"Exactly why I can't go back to work right now," I laughed. "But you, I can handle you. I'll let everything else slide to handle you."
"I'm not important," she said. "I'm a distraction. And unfocused. And ordinary."
"Mer, I hate your mom. Despise your mom. You're not a distraction and you are not ordinary. I could kill her for making you think so little of yourself," I said, through clenched teeth.
"Life isn't supposed to be this hard," she said, looking me in the eye. "I thought this time would be easier. Because I have you. And it's been so hard. And my mom...I was hoping she wouldn't come into town. And she did. And I've made you into this unfocused surgeon."
"You have not made me into anything, Meredith. If anything you...you've helped me become who I was supposed to be all along. I'm not unfocused, I just...I have different priorities now. I have a family. And I would not change that," I said, running a thumb over her cheek. "And I know it's been hard, damn hard. But you do have me. And we will survive."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, leaning into my touch.
"I'm sorry too," I whispered, moving my hand and pulling her into my arms. "Meredith, I know I've made mistakes, that I haven't been as strong as you needed me to be. But I'm trying to do this, I'm really trying. You have to give me a shot."
"I know you're trying," she nodded. "I know. I'm not good at this. Mark says our mothers emotionally stunted us. Or our fathers. His father left too."
"I know. And the fact you are so much alike terrifies me and makes me wonder about what goes on in my head," I laughed gently, moving to sit beside her on the bed. "I know you're not great at this, I understand. But I love you anyway, you just...you have to let me in. When I ask you things, don't lie, don't pretend. I can take it."
"You have to let me in too," she said. "Mark says you won't but you have to."
I nodded. "I'm trying. I really am." I laughed suddenly and nudged her gently. "We're an awful couple."
"We are," she giggled a little. "You're supposed to be good at this. You're normal."
"Mer, my dad died when I was 10. I grew up with a bunch of girls and Mark. I'm just as dark and twisty as you. I just hide it better," I laughed.
She laughed and leaned her head on my shoulder. "You're not angry, are you?"
"No," I shook my head, threading my fingers through hers. "I was terrified that I was losing you."
"That's what I was afraid of," she nodded. "That I was losing you."
"Won't happen. Ever," I shook my head fiercely. "Remember, you're a Shepherd now."
"For better or worse," she sighed, putting my hand over her stomach.
"That's the general idea," I said, kissing her quickly. "You scared me this morning, you weren't...you."
"Consider it payback," she laughed a little. "You weren't you for three months."
"You must have lived in constant fear," I said sadly. "But we can't do that anymore. We communicate and whatever now, okay?"
"Okay," she nodded. "You know, you and Mark really torture each other. But he's a good guy. A great guy, actually."
"He's my brother," I nodded. "I wanted to punch him today, but he's my brother."
"Why?" she asked. "Why would you want to punch him?"
"He was stealing my family. He was...he was doing what I'm supposed to," I pouted.
"No, Derek," she shook her head, squeezing my hand. "No. Mark isn't stealing anyone. He's just...he...he loves you. And he worries about you. And he...well..."
"He what?" I asked raising an eyebrow at her.
"He was there when you weren't," she sighed. "He watches out for everyone in the family. Not because he has to. Because, he thinks he owes you guys something. And he's jealous of you, Derek. He really hates you sometimes."
"Really?" I asked wondering how she had figured all this out in such a short time.
"Yeah," she nodded. "You're the prodigal son. And he's...he's Mark."
"I...I don't even know how to take that. He has the same job, a wonderful love life...now...and the same family, even if it's unofficial. Mom loves him as much as she loves me," I explained.
"And you had it all first," she shrugged. "Mark is like me. Self loathing and self destructive to an almost pathological degree. And with Mark, he sees you and wants everything you want. And he doesn't think he deserves it."
"How the hell did you figure this all out?" I suddenly asked. Because there is no way Mark would actually say that stuff. Not the Mark I grew up with.
She shrugged. "Late nights involving hot chocolate for me and lots of whiskey for Mark," she shrugged. "And I know Mark. Mark and I...we're the same."
"Can you stop saying that? Because I love Mark, I do. But I don't want to marry him, or be with him forever. And I definitely don't want to sleep with him," I laughed.
She laughed and kissed me, softly at first and then a little more passionately. "Mark and I are different in a few ways," she giggled as her hands reached down to the hem of my shirt.
"Hmmm..." I murmured. "We shouldn't. Dill and Mark are downstairs."
"Makes it much more interesting," she nibbled at my bottom lip. "And it would make up for the number of times you walked in on Mark."
I laughed and kissed her hard. "I never knew you were into getting caught."
"Seriously?" she said breathlessly. "Ferris wheels? Kitchen counters? On call rooms? Those never clued you in."
"The ferris wheel was broken. The house was empty and the on call room door was locked," I pointed out, while taking her shirt off.
"Doesn't mean we couldn't get caught," she whispered as she undid the fly of my pants but then stopped, a small gasp coming from within her as her hands went to her belly.
"Mer, you okay?" I asked, my hands traveling to her belly as well.
She nodded. "Your daughter seems to be getting tired of her cramped living space," she laughed breathlessly. "I swear she's bruising my ribs these days."
"She'll be out of there soon enough," I answered, smiling proudly.
"We need to get things," she smiled at me, her desire to get caught suddenly forgotten. "We don't have anything. And the nursery. We need to paint the nursery."
"I think I remember trying to have this talk this morning," I laughed.
"Izzie wants a baby shower," she frowned. "Don't let her do it."
"Why not? It would be fun," I pouted.
"Seriously?" she raised her eyebrows. "Girly games and shit shaped like baby rattles? No. I don't want a baby shower."
"But you get stuff Mer. gifts," I whispered.
"We can get stuff," she said. "I don't want people standing around me touching my stomach and telling me birth horror stories."
"Fine, fine," I shook my head in disappointment. "And why are we discussing this now anyway?" I asked, bending my head over to lightly kiss the top of one breast.
"Because we only have two and a half months," she answered.
"Till we have a screaming baby and definitely no time for this," I said, pushing her bra to the side and gently kissing her now exposed nipple.
"Der, I'm serious," she insisted, though a little breathlessly.
"So am I," I reached behind her and unclasped her bra, taking her nipply fully in my mouth and sucking harder on it, my fingers playing with the other one.
"Derek," she moaned as her head fell back.
I shifted my head, taking her other nipple into my mouth and sucking hard, pushing her pants down to the floor. "So what do we need for the nursery?" I asked, pulling my head back slightly as I began feathering kisses over the rest of her breasts.
"We, uh," she panted, "a table...changing table...and uh...um...Derek..."
"A changing table," I nodded, moving my head lower, pressing soft kisses against her rounded stomach, as I pushed her down onto the bed. My lips were now on her thighs, kissing the insides, "What else?" I asked, slipping my tongue into her folds.
"A...um...diaper...Der," she thrashed under me, her hands fisting at the sheets. "Bin. And...we...she...oh god..."
"And?" I asked again, letting my hot breath play against her throbbing clit as my hands moved around to grab her ass. Her whole body shook with desire and I felt a ripple run through my own.
"A...a...bassinett," she breathed. "To sleep...oh...Derek...in here..."
"Anything else?" I asked, placing a finger inside her, feeling her clench around me as her breath came out in pants, her legs shaking around me.
"Um," she panted. "Yes...yes...um...god...yes."
"What?" I breathed as she bucked against me. She had lost all control of her body now, complete control and I knew she was just at the edge. My erection throbbed desperately for her, but I was going to wait.
"A...uh...Derek...please," she pleaded with me, no longer able to think of our daughter's nursery...no longer able to think at all.
Just as her body started to quiver around me, a knock sounded from the door. "Shit," I breathed, pulling away from my desperate fiancee. "Yeah?"
"Um," Mark's voice came from the other side of the door, "sorry to interrupt, but, um, Addison just called. Something's up with Mom." I swear to God I could hear him laughing. I could hear the smirk on his face. The asshole wasn't sorry.
"We'll be...umm...we'll be right down," Meredith said, moving from her spot with still shaky limbs.
"I told her we were coming soon," Mark choked out. "So you guys should hurry."
"We will," I said shooting the door a dirty look and then looking at Mer apologetically. "I swear to you I'm finishing that tonight."
"It's fine," she shook her head, trying to stand but shaking so badly she failed miserably. "I hate Mark right now."
"Hate doesn't begin to describe it," I laughed, throwing Meredith her clothes. I could still taste her on my lips and it was damn distracting.
"I can't even," she giggled. "I can't even think. My clothes." She was giggling like a thirteen year old girl who had just seen Justin Timberlake or somebody on the TV.
I kissed her hard, thankful to have my giggling Meredith back. "Mer?"
"Yeah?" she giggled, her face flushed and her hands shaking.
"I don't ever want to go through that again. Us worrying about losing each other. Never again Mer. This...it's forever," I told her, still breathing hard.
She nodded, trying her hardest to keep her face straight. "It is," she nodded, cracking a smile.
I pulled her into my arms laughing as well. "Come on, let's go."
"Derek," she leaned against me for support. "I love you."
"I love you too," I replied, opening the door and leading her down the stairs.
"And if all the world were perfect I would only ever want to see your scars…"