Disclaimer: We don't own GA. So we offer you this update full of happiness and light to make up for tomorrow's episode...that is most definitely not full of happiness and light.
My heart thudded as we rushed into the hospital, curing Mark for his vague something is up with mom message. Cursing him for interrupting. I carried Dillon, Meredith's hand was in my firmly. Life was good again. So nothing could be wrong with my mom. No. We walked together. From now on it was going to be us, we and together. And that was good.
Mark walked in front of us, his body taut with nervousness as he walked at break neck speed. I had expected a few jokes about the situation he had caught Meredith and I in, but so far, nothing. So far, Mark was quiet. Which wasn't Mark. Mark was never quiet. Mark wasn't even capable of quiet. But he was quiet now. He was quiet and his hands were balled into fists. I squeezed Meredith's hand, suddenly much more nervous than before.
Meredith squeezed my hand back, smiling slightly at me. Her eyes begged me to calm down and breathe. Her eyes told me that everything was going to be okay. Dillon wrapped his arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. They were there for me, completely. And although anything might be happening, anything good or bad, I was glad they were there.
"Addie," Mark's voice brought me out of my own little world as he choked out her name. There was something in the way he said her name. It was the same way I said Meredith's name. As if she were his anchor. The only thing keeping him from losing it. Meredith and I stopped as we came to the group standing in front of my mother's room. My sisters were all there, even Leah was there in her scrubs.
"What's going on?" I asked, rocking on my feet and pulling Meredith close.
Addison's face lit up with a huge smile. "Nothing," she shook her head. "I just thought you would all like to be here when we took the breathing tube out. And when we woke her from the medically induced coma."
"What?" Nancy sputtered. "You might have mentioned that it was good news earlier."
"Sorry," she laughed a little, giving Mark a smile. "I thought you'd rather hear it in person. It has been a while since this family had good news."
"Meredith and I were in the middle of...something," I pouted. "And we rushed."
"You were in the middle of making her have a screaming..." Mark trailed off as he looked at Dillon. "Um...a screaming...pillow...fight."
"Is that what you were doing?" Dillon asked.
I looked over at Meredith, who was bright red. "What do you mean, Dill?" she asked lightly, avoiding eye contact with my siblings.
"I heard some screams or something," Dillon shrugged. "You sounded like you were...I don't know."
"Like what?" Mark prodded, an evil grin on his face. I was going to kill him. Twice.
"I don't know," Dillon shrugged, hiding his face in my neck, apparently to embrassed to say anything.
"We were having a pillow fight, Dill," Meredith sighed, flashing Mark a death look.
"Okay," Dillon nodded. "Next time you have a pillow fight can I play to?"
Mark couldn't hold it in anymore, he lost it. I couldn't tell if he was crying or laughing or coughing, but all three seemed to be mixed in somewhere. "That's enough, Mark," Addison rolled her eyes at him.
"It's just...I can just imagine. I couldn't..." Mark said laughing. "It was...classic."
"You know what, Dill?" Meredith smiled at her son. "Daddy Derek and I were having a very grown up pillow fight. A kind that no one under the age of...um...eighteen...can play."
"Were you making pancakes?" Dillon asked looking excited.
"Making...pancakes?" Mark was trying to regain his breath. "Oh...that is...making...oh god..."
"Shut up, Mark," I glared at him. "Can we go see her now, Addie?'
"Whenever Mark is ready to act his age," she nodded, glaring at Mark as he fell against the wall.
"Sorry, sorry," Mark gasped starting to pull himself back together.
Once my asshole best friend had pulled himself together, we crowded into Mom's room as Cristina Yang spoke to us. "We've been reducing her meds significantly," she told us, "and she should be awake soon. She'll be awake when we take out the tube and it's going to hurt, and she's going to fight the tube So, just be prepared."
"Cristina, you're in a room full of doctors," I laughed. "We know."
"I'm not a doctor," Dillon corrected me.
"A room full of doctors and a big boy," I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
We waited for a few minutes as the medicine wore off, Cristina prepared to take the breathing tube out as my mother came out of it. She looked pale, weak, but the minute she was alert, her body started jerking around, I could her screaming against the tube. Dillon buried his head in my neck, tears coming swiftly as Addison grabbed my mom's hand and Cristina took the tube out.
Meredith squeezed my hand tightly again, as we all held a collective breath. Today was big, today was huge. Addison was right, it was good we were all here, we all had to be here.
"Mrs. Shepherd," Addison whispered. "Mrs. Shepherd. You're at Seattle Grace Hospital. You had major surgery to remove the cancer in your lungs and were intubated. Dr. Yang is just taking out the tube. Everyone is here...the whole family."
My mom went to say something, but couldn't not yet. I moved foward, bringing Meredith with me and squeezed my mom's hand. "It's okay, Mom. We're here."
"Your throat is going to be sore," Addison told her kindly. "Don't try to talk yet. Give it time."
My mom struggled to say something but you could tell she was in pain. "Do you want water, Mom?" Meredith asked, sliping her hand out of mine and heading towards the table wear the water sat.
My mother nodded desperately and Mer poured the water, slipping a straw into the cup and coming over, settling herself onto the bed and holding up my mother's head with one hand as Mom sipped through the straw. Mom nodded as she drew away and looked at me with questioning eyes.
"What is it, Mom?" I asked, heading over closer to my fiancee.
"Wh-what happ-happened?" she asked hoarsely, wincing at the pain shooting through her vocal cords. I had seen this before, I had had to remove breathing tubes from several patients, but it didn't change the fact that it killed me to see my mom like this.
"You stopped breathing, the cancer was too far into your lungs and you..." I struggled to tell her, my hand finding Meredith's again. "They operated, they removed tha cancer."
"Gone?" she whispered.
"We don't know yet," I answered.
"You'll have to resume chemotherapy," Addison told my mother gently. "It will be more intense. You're going to fight this."
"We'll get through this," I assured her.
Dillon had scrambled done from my arms and run over to Mark, holding onto his legs for dear life and as I turned to look at them, I noticed that, for the first time since we had found out about Mom's cancer, Mark couldn't look at her. He couldn't meet her eyes. He was holding Dillon close to him, and he was staring at the floor.
"How are you feeling, Mom?" Erin asked.
"Tired," Mom answered. "My throat...hurts."
"We won't stay long," I promised. "We just wanted to be here."
She shook her head lightly and then turned to Meredith, placing her hand lightly on my fiancee's stomach. "Baby?" she asked quietly.
"She's fine," Meredith assured her. "We're naming her Megan. Dillon picked it."
"Megan," Mom said softly and then nodded. "Beautiful."
"Megan Elaine Shepherd," I nodded, my hand covering my mom's on Meredith's stomach.
"Oh wow," Leah cried from behind us, as sobs wracked her body. "Seriously. Just...god, Derek, are you trying to kill us here?"
"Don't blame me. That was Mer's idea," I laughed.
Kathleen smiled a little bit. "Mer, you're amazing," she whispered through her own tears.
"It's nothing," Meredith shook her head quickly. "We were just...I knew Derek would like it. And I just...I don't have a relationship with my mom, I thought it would be nice."
"I'm um," Mark suddenly spoke up, "I uh...have...something. Patient. Kiddo, you wanna come with me?"
"Sure, Uncle Mark," Dillon replied putting his arms up for Mark to pick him up.
"Mark," Meredith said. "You don't need to go."
"Mark, don't leave," I told him.
"Patient," he muttered, picking Dillon up. "I'll see you later, Mom." He didn't look at her as he went out of the room.
'You should go talk to him," Meredith whispered in my ear.
"What?" I stared at her. Mark and I didn't talk. We picked on each other, had drinks, went to strip clubs. But Mark didn't talk. Mark wasn't capable of actually expressing whatever emotions were going on in his severely fucked up head.
"You're his brother, you should go," Meredith urged me. "I'll stay with the family."
"Mark," my mother nodded at me. "Go talk Derek."
"Fine, I'm going," I sighed, giving my mom a quick kiss. And then kissing Meredith. "Call my cell if you need me."
"Derek," Addison looked up at me.
"Yeah?" I asked her.
"He's losing it," she said softly. "And he's pulling a Derek."
"You don't get to call it a Derek," I pouted. "I'll talk to him."
I went out into the hallway to find Mark standing at the nurses station, flipping through a chart, talking to Dillon. "Fifty percent of her body was covered in third degree burns," he said. "And I operated. It's going to be a hard one, kiddo. Think you can handle it?"
"Of course I can," Dillon nodded. "I'm going to be a brain doctor like Daddy Derek."
"Yeah, well burns are grosser than brains," Mark told my son as my heart filled with pride. "But you made it through Plastic Surgery Nightmares the other night okay."
"What have you been teaching my son?" I asked, approaching them.
"Plastic surgeons," Dillon answered. "Burns and rhinos."
"But you apparently want to be a brain doctor, like me," I beamed at him.
"Yeah!" he nodded. "Cause on Real Life Surgeries, I saw a brain and it was cool!"
I laughed and turned my attention to Mark. "So according to Addison you're pulling a Derek."
"What the hell is a Derek?" he asked as he wrote something in the chart.
"Running away, leaving everyone to deal with the mess you leave behind. The shit you've been yelling at me for," I explained.
"I have a patient," he shrugged. "You know, it's called being a surgeon. I realize you may have forgotten what that's like but I could remind you."
"I haven't forgotten. Actually I remember a night a week ago in which I had patients all night, and you had to tuck my family in for me," I said.
"Yeah, well, you're an ass," Mark shrugged.
"Takes one to know one," I shrugged.
"You calling me an ass?" he stared at me. "I just saved your ass big time, Shepherd. Meredith was all ready to dump you to the curb."
I tried to ignore the pain the pure thought of that brought to my chest. And to ignore the fact that that was probably what their lunchtime conversation had been about. I couldn't think about how close to the edge we had gotten, but we were good now. We were us again. "You're the one that stalked out of Mom's room minutes after she woke up."
"I thought I'd give her a second alone with her family," he said, snapping the chart shut. "Come on, kiddo, what were the facts of the case?"
"Since when has her family not included you?" I said, grabbing the chart out of his hands.
"I'm not doing girl talk, Shepherd," he growled.
"Mom sent me out here to find out what the hell is wrong. If I don't come back with you it's my head on the plate. So you better believe you're doing girl talk," I growled back.
His pager went off and he stared at it and then looked back at me. "Don't have time for a crying moment," he said. "I've gotta run."
"Mark, ignore it. Don't do what I did. Don't run from your family when they need you the most," I begged him.
"I don't have a family," he said coldly.
"That is complete an utter bullshit and you know it. We've been your family forever," I argued.
"Daddy Derek, you said a bad word," Dillon said quietly.
"Sorry bud, Uncle Mark is being bad," I tried to explain.
"Do you need a time out, Uncle Mark?" Dillon turned to him, his hands on his hips. "Cause I'll take away your toys. No third burns."
"I'm not running," Mark rolled his eyes. "I have a patient."
"No patient," Dillon threatened. "Come on, Uncle Mark, let's go give Grandma a kiss."
"She's just as much your mom as she is Dillon's grandma," I shrugged.
He stared at Dillon for a second. "Kiddo, do you have a grandma? A real one?"
Dillon looked confused for a second and looked up at me. "Grandma's my grandma," he shrugged. "She's Daddy Derek's mommy, so that makes her my grandma."
"Yeah," Mark nodded. "Guess that makes sense. Except, Derek's not your real dad, is he?"
I expected Dillon to cry, to yell or to do something. Instead he just smiled at Mark, as if Mark was a 2 year old who couldn't understand basic life concepts. "Derek's my dad. He said we're family, that makes him my dad."
Mark stared at him, and then he swallowed. "You're smart, kid," he said. "Smarter than me."
"Come on, Mark. Mom wants you in there. She wants her family in there," I said, urging him back to the room.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Let's go give Grandma a kiss, Dillon."
Just as we were about to enter the room I grabbed Mark's elbow and held him back for a second. "Thanks," I nodded. "For you know...not letting her break up with me. I don't know...but thanks."
Before he could answer, Webber came up to us. "Shep," he said, "we need to talk."
I nodded. "Tell Mer and everyone else I'll be right back," I told Mark.
Mark nodded and took Dillon's hand, leading him into the room. "In my office," Webber said, his eyes curiously blank.
I followed him to his office, wodering what could possibly be going on that he pulled me away from my family. And when I wasn't on duty."What's up?" I asked as he closed the door.
"Shep, you know you've been my number one choice for Chief for a while now," he looked at me, his arms crossed over his chest. This man was my mentor. He had gotten me through my residency, had taught me more than I had ever thought possible, had helped me pick a specialty. He was, in a weird way, a father figure.
"I know," I nodded slowly, wondering where this was going. He had been find with me taking some time off. He had understood my need for a break, even said it was about time I took one. And yet he didn't look too pleased right now. "And I thank you for that."
"When I introduced you to Ellis, it was with the sole intention of impressing her," he stated. "I wanted her feedback on your skills. I know you're the best damn surgeon we have in this hospital, but I wanted an outsider's opinion."
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, dropping onto his couch. "Oh, I expect she gave me glowing reviews."
"She told me that it would be the biggest mistake of my career to make you chief, " he told me. "Called you unfocused and suggested you could be much more dedicated to the job. I'll admit, I was confused. That's not the Shep I know."
"You know what her problem with me is?" I sighed. "I want it all. I want the family and the career. I think I can have it all. She liked me. She offered me chief in Boston. And then she found out I was engaged with a baby on the way. To her daughter of all people."
"Your pregnant fiancee is Meredith?" he asked me, his eyes growing wide. "And Ellis offered you chief in Boston?"
"The offer got pulled pretty quickly," I told him. "And yes, it's Meredith."
"Meredith," he said slowly and then shook his head. "Shep, I need to know you're dedicated to this job. Because I plan on retiring soon."
"I'm dedicated, Richard. You know I am. My dad...he made it all work. He made it work perflectly, and I plan to do the same," I said.
"The hours as chief," he began, "they will be more demanding than your hours as a neurosurgeon."
"I know," I nodded. "Mer's behind me on this. We're going to make this work."
"I'm glad you feel that way," he nodded. "I spoke to the board this morning and they believe you are the perfect choice for Seattle Grace's next Chief of Surgery. Congratulations, Derek."
"What?" I asked my eyes wide.
"Chief of Surgery," he repeated. "You are the obvious choice. I am officially making you the offer."
"Wow..." I blinked. Today had offically become surreal. Meredith and I had finally come together on everything. My mom was awake. And now...this. "I...I have to talk to Mer before officially accepting it."
"Of course," he nodded. "But can I draw up the contract? This is what you want, isn't it?"
"Yes. Yes," I answered shaking my head eagerly and then laughing. "I just need to talk to Meredith about it, before everything. She's 7 months pregnant and emotional. And I've been kind of stupid with her for the past 7 months so I just need to run it by her. Sorry, ramling, Meredith habbit."
He laughed and clapped me on the back. "I won't be giving up my post until after your daughter is born," he told me. "Though, I would like you to come in a couple of times a week. Learn the ropes. Do a surgery here and there. I understand you need a break, but I think one shift a week won't hurt you."
"I can do that. Meredith's been urging me to get back to doing something. I think having Dill and I both around all the time is getting to her," I laughed.
"Congratulations, Derek," he told me. "Your father would be very proud."
"I'd like to think so," I nodded.
"And about Ellis," he suddenly said. "She's not happy, Derek."
"I don't care how unhappy she is. Nothing gives her the excuse to talk to Meredith the way she did," I said fiercly.
"Derek, the number one thing every surgeon fears is losing control," he said. "And there was a situation years ago. Meredith probably doesn't remember. But there was a situation Ellis Ish says:
"Hardened is one word," I said, shaking my head in disgust. "In the span of two days she entirely devastated my family."
"I'm sorry to hear that," he nodded, and I swear guilt passed over his features, but then he sighed. "Go tell your family the good news, Derek."
"Thank you again, sir," I stood up, shaking his hand.
I walked out of his office, my head floating. I was the future Chief of Surgery of Seattle Grace Hospital. One of the best hospitals on the West Coast and I would be running its surgical wing in just a few months. This was the climax of my career. Everything was falling into place. Everything. I had it all. Meredith, Dillon, Megan. The job. My family. I had it all.
I reached my mom's room, relieved to see everyone talking and looking happy. And immediately decided to save my news for another day. Today was Mom's day. But Meredith, Meredith needed to know now. "I'm stealing my fiancee for a minute," I said, grabbing her arm.
"What?" Meredith stammered as I practically dragged her out of the room. "Derek, what are you doing?"
I kissed her. Right in the middle of the hallway where I would one day soon be chief, I kissed her. "Webber just offered me the job."
"What?" she asked as she stared at me.
"Dr. Webber has decided to retire in a few months," I nodded, a smile stretched across my face. "And I've been offered the job of Chief of Surgery."
"Oh my God!" Meredith gasped as she hugged me. "Derek, oh my...when? Just now?"
I nodded, to choked up to answer. Because all my dreams were coming true. And Meredith was happy for me, she had launched herself on me.
"Derek, this is amazing," she smiled, her eyes bright. "You said yes, didn't you? You weren't stupid and said no?"
"I told him I wanted it but that I'd have to talk to you first," I answered, kissing her again.
"What's there to talk about?" she asked. "You're the Chief of Surgery!"
I smiled at her enthusiasm. I couldn't have asked for a better reaction from her. "It means longer hours, Mer. I can make it work. My dad did, and I fully plan to. But you need to know, it will be harder."
She nodded. "When do you start?"
"No exact date yet. Sometime after Megan comes. But he wants me in once a week starting now, to teach me the ropes," I explained.
"If it's after Megan's born, we'll be fine," she said. "Derek, you're not giving this up. This is your dream. And you're not giving it up."
"Thank you for understanding," I whispered, pulling her close. "Thank you for letting me have this."
"I wouldn't dream of taking it away from you," she whispered. "I'm here for you one hundred percent."
"I love you," I smiled.
I love you too," she smiled back and then kissed me, hard. "Okay, Chief, let's go tell everyone."
"Not today, Mer. Mom just woke up, today is her day. Our news can wait till later, after I sign the contract," I said. And then all of a sudden laughed loudly.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"I'm Mark's boss. And Addie's. And Erin's," I laughed.
She giggled. "They're going to love that, Der," she kissed me. "And, Derek, let's add to the happy news. Your mom...we...she'd...she'd want to know now, I think. She looks like she hates all the attention."
"You sure?" I asked her, my heart warming at her watching out for my mom.
"Yes," she nodded. "Definitely. And anyway, I want to see Mark's face."
I laughed and wrapped my arm around her, bringing her back to the room. I cleared my throat. Everyone looked. "Mer and I have an announcement to make. Which has kind of been our thing for the past few months."
"It's more Derek's announcement though," Meredith smiled proudly at me.
"Dr. Webber just offered me Chief of Surgery," I said, smiling
"Did you accept?" Kathleen asked before anyone could react.
"Not officially yet, I had to talk to Mer. But I'm going to," I nodded.
"Oh, Derek," Mom sighed, tears springing to her eyes.
I walked over and gave her a quick hug. "It's okay, Mom."
"Your father," she sighed again, "he'd be so proud of you."
"I know, Mom, I know," I whispered, pulling her in for a tighter hug.
"So...wait," Erin spoke up, horror on her features. "Does this mean that my big brother is my boss?""It does," I smiled at her, Mark and Addie.
"Oh God," Mark rolled his eyes. "Kill me now."
"No, no, no, Mark. It's a few months till I take the position. That's when killing you will begin," I laughed.
"How long do I have to plot your murder?" Erin asked. "Because if you were arrogant before, well, now..."
"There's no exact date," Meredith answered giggling. "Sometime after Megan is born."
"They'll probably give you a month after Megan's born," Addison said. "Paternity leave. And then you'll be Chief of Surgery. You're not going to use...things...against me, are you?"
"Oh, that's a secret," I laughed. "This is going to be fun. Being the boss of three family members."
Meredith giggled as she squeezed my hand tightly. She looked proud of me. She didn't admire me. She didn't worship me. But she was proud. And as her eyes shone with happiness, as my mother cried happy tears, as I put my hand on my fiancee's belly and felt my daughter kick inside her, I finally felt all the tension of the last seven months melt away into a calm I had never felt before.
This day feels like heaven to me, everything is wrapped up in gold.