Disclaimer: Did you see that episode? We are not capable of that brilliance. We don't even belong in the same sentence as that brilliance. Shonda is over there writing THAT and we're here doing this.
I always wondered what my last day alive was going to be like. Sure that thought sounded morbid, but it was something I had wondered over for years now. And now I knew. My last day alive was spent waking up beside my cranky fiancee who chose today of all days to feel fat. It was spent dragging my stepson to his dad's where he didn't want to go. And taking Meredith to what was beginning to feel like my doom.
"Where are we going?" she snapped as we got into the car, running twenty minutes late after a small tantrum from my fiancee during which she told me she would kill me in my sleep.
"Just out," I shrugged. "I thought it would be nice to get out of the house."
"So people can stare at me and call me a fat ass?" she asked. "Right. Thanks for that, honey."
"Meredith, you're pregnant. No one calls pregnant woman fat ass," I groaned. I was dead, there was no way I was living through today. "And I happen to like your ass."
"You're a liar," she muttered. "And I hate you. I hate you for making me like this."
"You love me. And you love being like this," I said, trying to keep a smile in my face. And ignore the Jaws music that was playing in my head.
"No, I don't," she groaned. "My ankles are swollen, my back hurts, and she's kicking my bladder. I hate you. If you could just remember to carry a condom, we wouldn't have this problem."
"Are you saying you hate my daughter?" I asked her.
"You're accusing me of hating my daughter?" she asked, staring at me. "Seriously? I don't hate my daughter. I can't believe you."
"So you just hate me for creating said daughter?" I questioned.
"Right now, I hate you for breathing," she snapped.
"I think I'm going to stop talking," I nodded. This was bad. This was very bad. Meredith was, well she was adorable, but not in a cute cuddly kind of way. Meredith was annoyed and I was driving her to a baby shower I had promised wasn't going to happen. Bad. Dead didn't begin to describe it.
"I think that's the first good idea you've had all day," she nodded firmly. I wondered if we should swing by the hospital so I could say goodbye to my mom, thank her for raising me. And tell Mark where my will was. And maybe start calling cousins in New York. Because by the end of the day, I was done. She would kill me on the spot. I don't quite know what had possesed me to help Izzie plan this party. Actually to suggest this party. Because Meredith had been quite resolute in the fact she didn't want one. And yes, she had quite the tough shell, but she was soft. I just thought quite possibly she would like the party once we got to it. But in the mood she was in, not so likely.
And then there was of course Yang. She had cornered me in the hallway at work to ask what the hell the pink envelope in her mailbox was for. That she didn't do "girly shit". With Yang and Meredith together, and Meredith in this kind of mood, it was probably best that I called Izzie to cancel. But it was too late. My life was over.
"I love you," I suddenly said. If it was my last day alive I wanted to make sure that I said it often. I should probably call Dillon and tell him too.
"Whatever," she rolled her eyes.
This was bad. Usually when I said I love you she melted and smiled and said it back. When she said whatever it never led to good things for me. And I still hadn't hit her with the surprise. Or nightmare.
"Are we going to Izzie's?" she asked as she looked around.
"Yes," I nodded.
"Why?" she asked, glaring at me. "Derek, why the hell are we going to Izzie's?"
"She asked me to stop by," I shrugged.
"Are you and Izzie having an affair?" she suddenly asked.
"What? What are you talking about?" I asked, completely confused. Meredith made random comments often. She was random. But that was pushing it.
"You two are always whispering to each other," she sighed. "And she calls all the time to talk to you. And you went out with her the other night for two hours. Are you and Izzie having an affair?"
"When would I have time to have an affair? You're a handful enough as it is. Besides Izzie would drive me nuts, far too perky," I shook my head.
"So I'm a handful?" Meredith asked, staring at me. "What's that supposed to mean?" Her hormones were taking control and I was officially scared for my life.
"It means nothing, Mer. It's just...I'm not having an affair. Not with Izzie or anyone else," I shook my head.
"It would make sense if you were," she stated. "I'm so fat and unattractive and I know I can't pleasure you anymore."
"You're pregnant, gorgeous and you pleasured me quite well last night," I pointed out.
"I won't be able to much longer," she said. "And then you'll have an affair. And you'll fall in love with some skinny beautiful girl."
"Meredith, I am not having an affair. I don't plan on ever having an affair. I love you and only you," I sighed.
"You won't when we can't have sex."
"I'm not with you for sex, Mer. If I was with you for sex I would have walked away the second I found out about Dill," I argued.
We turned down Izzie's street and suddenly, I let out a groan. There were balloons on Izzie's mailbox and cars were stretched down the street for at least two miles. Balloons. Pink balloons. And a sign on the door that said, "It's a Girl!" Meredith turned and stared at me. "Derek Michael Shepherd."
"Remember you're marrying me, I gave you a pretty ring and everything. And I love you and you love me. And we're happy," I said quickly.
"Derek," she hissed, staring at me. "What the hell is this?"
"It's umm..."I breathed. "It's just a gathering. A party."
"A gathering," Meredith nodded. "A party. And what are we celebrating at this party, Derek?"
"Megan," I whispered.
"Derek, I said no baby shower!" she yelled. "No baby shower! No pink! No cookies and baby rattles! No baby shower!"
"It's not a baby shower," I winced.
"It's not?" she asked. "Because it looks like it is. It looks like it's a baby shower."
"It's just a party," I nodded, hoping that she'd fall for it. And that Izzie didn't call it a baby shower.
"Are there cookies shaped as baby rattles?" she asked. "Are there presents and people standing around ready to tell me birth horror stories?"
"Maybe," I said staring at my feet.
"That's a baby shower, Derek," she groaned. "Take me home."
"Meredith, I can't take you home. Everyone is expecting us," I sighed. "Give it a try. It's not too girly, and fluffy and all that very non-Meredith stuff."
"Derek, this is Izzie. It's going to be girly. It's going to be pink and fluffy. Take me home."
"No, Mer. Our families did this for us. I can't take you home," I shook my head.
"Derek, I specifically said I did not want a baby shower," she glared at me. "I said it more than once. And you didn't listen to me. Take me home."
"I'm not taking you home," I shook my head. "We are going in there and you are going to enjoy it."
"The hell I am," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And you're sleeping at the trailer tonight."
"Mer, please...just give it a chance. They're happy for us, they want to celebrate with us," I said gently.
"You are sleeping at the trailer for a week," she decided. "No, for a month. The rest of the pregnancy."
"Meredith, it's just a baby shower," I tried to tell her.
"I told you I didn't want one," she snapped. "I said I didn't want a baby shower. You're an ass."
"I was just trying to..." I sighed. "I wanted to do something for you. It's been a hard pregnancy, we've been through so much. And life, it's good right now Mer. I just thought it would be nice to celebrate."
"We can celebrate without a baby shower," she said. "And whose fault is it that my pregnancy has been hard?"
"Mine, I know," I said, grabbing her hand. "Just give this a shot. Please. We can give it an hour, if you're miserable I will take you home."
"You owe me," she said, opening the car door. "And I'm serious about you sleeping at the trailer."
"Thank you," I nodded. I decided to ignore the trailer comment. This would be okay, this would be fine. She'd go in and have a great time and remember how much she loved me. And even if she didn't...she'd get lonely with me sleeping in the trailer.
I squeezed her hand gently and opened the door, taken back by the sheer number of people. Who the hell had Izzie invited? "There she is!" Izzie screeched as she came over and hugged Mer. "Suprise!"
"You're dead, Izz," I heard her clearly say.
There was pink everywhere. I had told Izzie to tone it down, but there was pink everywhere. I wasn't even sure how Izzie had gotten her hands on this much pink. "You look so great," Izzie gushed. "Doesn't she look great, everyone?"
"She looks pregnant," Cristina sneered.
I flashed Cristina a shut the hell up look. This was bad. "No, she looks beautiful," Izzie smiled. "She's glowing."
Kathleen appeared out of the crowd and hugged Meredith close, smiling at me over Mer's shoulder. "Don't kill him, Mer. He's just always dreamed of having kids. Let him have this."
I heard Meredith whisper, "I know you love him, but he 's dead."
Kathleen pulled away and came to stand by me. "I tried," she shrugged.
"She's not in the best of moods," I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair.
"It happens around 7 months. She'll be fine," Kathleen reassured me.
Cristina came forward to stare at Meredith. "Mer, the relationship has to end. Immediately."
"Don't worry, he's dead," Meredith replied, glaring at me.
"Good," Cristina nodded. "Call me if you need help dragging his corpse across the living room."
"I'm planning to throwing the body in the ocean," Meredith said, sounding completely serious. I had a feeling she might be.
"Oh come on," Izzie grinned. "This is fun!"
"This is pink," Meredith said squinching up her face. "I hate pink. Megan hates pink."
"Megan loves pink!" Izzie giggled. "And see the cookies, Mer? They're not baby rattles. They're little teddy bears!"
"I guess that's better," Meredith said, still sounding grumpy.
"This is disgusting," Cristina sneered. "Barbie, I need alcohol. Tell me pink punch is spiked."
"Who spikes drinks at baby showers?" Izzie asked looking confused. This could be a movie. Izzie, Meredith and Cristina at a baby shower could make a movie. And I could be the guy that dies in it.
"Do you have any liquor at all in this house?" Cristina demanded.
"Maybe," Izzie shrugged. "Alex might have some stored somewhere."
"Where is Dr. Evil Spawn?" Cristina asked. "And if he's not here, call him. Now. Meredith and I need to be drunk if we're going to survive this."
"Meredith can't be drunk," I cut in.
"You know what, McDreamy?" Cristina stared at me. "You're coming with me to find the liquor. Let's go."
"Fine," I said. "But Meredith can't be drunk."
"Whatever," Cristina rolled her eyes and stalked off towards the kitchen, where there were crustless sandwiches and pink frosted cupcakes strewn about. "We have to talk, McDreamy."
"About?" I didn't need this, not now.
"You fucking with Mer," she said, opening cabinets and digging around.
"Cristina, Mer and I are okay now. Okay, not right now. But generally speaking, we're okay now," I argued.
"Yeah, except you almost killed her because you're an ass," she shot back. "If you're going to fuck with her again, you should just leave. Because I get that she forgave you, but I don't know why."
"I'm not going to fuck with her again," I nodded. "I'm in this for the long haul. Even if that ends today when she kills me."
"I should kill you first," Cristina said, standing up and opening another cabinet. "And if you hurt her or the baby again, I will kill you. And I won't even bother to make it look like an accident. I'm sure any judge would think it was a service to society."
"I'm not going to hurt them. I love them," I explained.
"Yeah, except if you loved her you wouldn't have let Izzie do this shit," Cristina rolled her eyes. "I'm surrounded by pink and there is half a bottle of wine. This party is officially DOA."
"I told Izzie pink was a no no, no blaming that on me," I sighed. "And I was just...I wanted to do something for her and Megan."
"Stick around for once," she said. It was a low blow. But one I deserved.
"I am. I'm not running anymore. This is where I belong. This is it for me," I said.
"Okay, McDreamy, you don't need to make me vomit up the pink cupcake I had," she grimaced.
"I can keep going if you need more convincing," I smiled.
"I'm good," she nodded. "Though, if you really want to get on my good side, go buy some liquor."
"I'm not buying you liquor," I told her.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because it's a baby shower," I argued.
"Exactly," she nodded. "If I don't have liquor, I'll kill Barbie. And maybe your sisters. Well, Kathleen at least. Nancy is normal."
"You really need it?" I asked.
"Do you like your sister, Shepherd?" she growled.
"Fine, I'm leaving to get you alcohol. While I'm gone you have to cheer her up," I ordered.
"I can't do that," she shook her head. "Happy Meredith makes me sick."
"I'm not asking you to make her happy. But I'm getting you booze, you have to convince her to let me come home tonight."
"Personally, I think you should sleep at the trailer too. This is the most fucked up idea ever. What kind of guy are you?"
"I love her Cristina," I sighed. "Really really love her. And well...I was hoping she'd like this. The gifts, the food. Meredith likes that stuff."
"Fine," Cristina rolled her eyes. "Go get me liquor. And I'll get Mer to screw your brains out tonight."
"Thank you," I nodded, grabbing my keys out of my pocket and going to say a quick good bye to Meredith.
"Where the hell are you going?" she said through clenched teeth.
"Your person wants alcohol," I told her, trying to smile and look optimistic.
"You are not leaving me," she said, gripping my arm.
"Meredith, Cristina is going to kill me if I don't go. And I don't feel like dying twice today."
"If you leave me, I will torture you and then kill you," she promised. "You are not leaving me. Not with these women."
"Do you want to come with me? Escape for a few minutes?" I asked.
"Yeah, Derek, what a great idea. A pregnant woman in a liquor store."
"I'm not asking you to make her happy. But I'm getting you booze, you have to convince her to let me come home tonight."
"What do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Stay here," she begged. "Please."
"Do I get to sleep at home tonight?" I asked, trying to weight my options in my mind.
"Yes," she nodded. "On the couch."
"Mer, I'm risking my life if I don't go out and get alcohol," I pointed out.
"You're risking your life if you do."
"This shower was most definitely the worst idea I have ever had," I sighed.
"Yes it was," she nodded. "It definitely was."
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"I haven't decided if you're forgiven yet," Mer sighed. "But if you leave, you won't be."
"I'm staying right here. I'll risk life and limb to be forgiven," I nodded.
"McDreamy?" Cristina came in with the half bottle of wine in her hands. "What the hell?"
"Meredith refuses to let me leave," I shrugged.
"Mer, I'm surrounded by pink," Cristina turned to her best friend. "I can't do this sober."
"I have to, you have to," Meredith smiled.
"Okay everyone!" Izzie clapped her hands excitedly. "I think it's time for a game!"
"I told her no cheesy games," I whispered in Meredith's ear, leaning close to her.
"Okay," Izzie grinned, holding small scraps of paper and pencils. "Now, we won't know who wins this game until after Megan comes. But I want everyone to write down a due date and how much you think Megan will weigh. And the person who wins gets a prize!"
"That's a lame game, Izzie," Cristina groaned.
"Shut up, Cristina," Izzie rolled her eyes. "Now Mer's actual due date is September 21st, but all of us mommies know that babies have minds of their own!"
"Do I get to play?" Meredith asked.
"Sure," Izzie nodded. "Derek does too."
"I never said I wanted to play games," I moaned.
"Oh, come on, DerBear!" Erin grinned as she wrote on her piece of paper. "It will be fun!"
"Yeah, Derek," Meredith smiled at me. "It will be a grand old time."
"I can't believe this," Cristina grumbled.
"You guys suck," Izzie pouted. "This is supposed to be fun."
"Fun involves liquor," Cristina told her.
"No it doesn't, this is fun," Izzie argued.
"You guys are spoil sports," Kathleen stuck up for Izzie. "And Der, this was your idea."
"I told Izzie no cheesy games. Mer doesn't like cheesy games," I pouted.
"Mer didn't want a baby shower period," Meredith mumbled next to me.
"But she's giving it a shot," I nodded.
"Too bad she's making someone sleep on the couch tonight," Meredith murmured, her hand on her stomach.
"You'll be lonely without me," I whispered back, kissing her cheek.
"So has everyone written their predictions down yet?" Izzie asked.
We all nodded our heads yes and handed them to Izzie. "You two better not be cheating," Cristina complained.
"How could we cheat?" I asked her.
"Planned C-section. Shepherd's sneaky like that," Cristina said, unexplicably giving me a dirty look.
"Have you guys even talked about a birth plan yet?" Nancy asked.
I shook my head no. "We should get on that, Mer."
"You definitely should," Nancy nodded. "What about a pediatrician? Have you chosen a pediatrician? And birthing classes? Personally, I wouldn't go with a planned c-section. Unless that's how Dillon was born."
"We're so not ready for this, Der," Meredith groaned, resting her head on my shoulder.
"And there are classes at the hospital for big brothers and sisters," Nancy told us. "Dillon will learn how to change a diaper, hold the baby, help with bottles. It's a very useful class. I suggest it to most of my patients."
"That sounds like a good idea," I told Meredith, running my hands through her hair.
"Nance, you're freaking Mer out," Erin shook her head. "It's not that bad, Mer. The second is always better than the first."
"So I've been told. But Derek and I," she said looking at me. "We're not ready for this, we're not ready for this at all."
"You'll be fine," Kathleen nodded encouragingly. "Though, it's not always easier. Sullivan wasn't exactly a breeze. I was in labor for eighteen hours."
Meredith looked at me seriously. "If I'm in labour for 18 hours I'm never speaking to you again."
"How many hours were you in labor with Dill?" Leah asked.
"Seven. That was long enough," Meredith groaned.
"Oh, that's nothing," Nancy laughed. "Mom was in labor with Derek for almost twenty hours."
"So he's been stubborn his whole life," Meredith giggled.
"Definitely," Kathleen nodded. "But I'm sure you'll be just fine. How are you feeling lately? Any false labor? Bleeding?"
"I've had a couple of bouts of Braxton Hicks but nothing bad," she nodded.
"Okay, that's it," Cristina groaned, "I'm going to get liquor. McDreamy, you are dead."
"Sorry, Yang. I had to choose between pissing off you or Mer," I shrugged.
"Cristina!" Izzie gasped. "You can't go now! We're about to open presents!"
"Stay," Meredith groan. "This is definitely the best part of this shindig that dumb and dumber planned."
"You know you're enjoying it," I laughed.
She rolled her eyes but there was a slight smile on her lips. I was starting to feel slightly better about this. She wasn't happy, far from it, but I didn't get the vibe that she was going to kill me anymore. That was good. Although I wasn't expecting sex to happen anytime in the near future.
"Presents!" Izzie jumped up. "Who is going to record the presents so Mer can write thank you notes?"
"I'll do it," Leah offered.
"Wait, thank you notes?" Mer raised her eyebrows. "I'm seven months pregnant and I'm going to have to write thank you notes? Why can't I thank you guys right here?"
"It's tradition Mer, you have to do it," Izzie complained. "Derek can help."
"Like McDreamy is going to help," Cristina snorted as she drank from the half empty bottle of wine.
"I'll help," I reassured Meredith. It was the least I could do after this.
"Okay, Mer," Izzie stood and picked up a present. "Lucas's fiancee couldn't come but she wanted me to give you this."
"Oh, Kim sent something," Meredith said grabbing it, a huge smile on her face. My fiancee was nothing if not shallow.
She held up a small pink dress with white flowers on it, along with a matching hat. "Awwww," my sisters and Izzie chorused as Cristina looked like she was going to vomit.
"She'll look cute in it," I said taking it out of her hands.
"Pink," Cristina groaned. "So much fucking pink."
"They're having a girl, Cristina. What colour do you want them to get?" Izzie said.
"I don't know," Cristina shrugged. "Black is slimming or whatever."
"Cristina, it's for a baby," Meredith giggled.
"Oh god, you're becoming one of them," Cristina stared at her best friend. "Babies are toxic."
"I am not one of them. But Megan's my little girl and Derek's right. She'll look cute in this," she said, smiling at me.
"If you don't think that's good enough," Izzie stared at Cristina, "what did you get for Megan?"
"It's in the pile, give it to her," Cristina said.
Izzie stood up and grabbed the bricklike wrapped package. "God, Cristina, it weighs a ton," Izzie said as she handed it to Mer.
Meredith gave her a confused look as she began to rip off the paper. "Gray's Anatomy. You got our daughter a medical textbook?"
"Seriously?" Izzie turned and stared at their friend. "Seriously. You got an infant a medical textbook?"
"She's a Shepherd and a Grey. She's going to be a doctor obviously," Cristina rolled her eyes.
"How do you know?" Izzie asked. "What if she wants to be a ballerina? Or a teacher?"
"She's a Grey Shepherd. Grey. Shepherd. She's bred to be a doctor," Cristina explained.
"She has a point," Leah laughed. "All six of us ended up being doctors."
"And I was going to be a doctor before Dill," Meredith nodded.
"And Dill wants to be a doctor," I said. "A brain doctor. Like me."
"Oh, Der, that's so cute," Erin smiled.
"I know," I smiled proudly.
"Megan is definitely a doctor," Cristina said in her know it all voice that she usually reserved for patients.
"Okay, fine, Megan is going to be a doctor," Izzie rolled her eyes. "But you're supposed to give them something that will help them with the baby. Not a medical textbook."
"It will help her much more than anything else," Cristina shrugged.
"Okay, next present," Meredith suddenly said, handing me the textbook.
"Apparently someone is starting to enjoy this baby shower thing," I laughed.
"Couch, Derek," she said to me as she took another gift from Izzie. "Couch."
"We'll see about that," I said, kissing her quickly on the cheek.
We had opened several presents when Erin stood. "Um, Mom obviously can't be here," she said slowly, moving towards a back room. "But she gave me her present to give to the two of you."
"Oh, she didn't have to," Meredith protested, squeezing my hand.
Erin came from the back room, wheeling out a lacy white bassinett. "We went out and bought it, but she told us the things she wanted to put in it," she whispered, tears filling her eyes as she wheeled the bassinett out to us.
"Wow," I whispered looking at it.
"It's beautiful," Meredith said as I helped her out of her chair and we walked over to the bassinett.
The bassinett was perfect. It was exactly what we would have picked out. And sitting inside was a familiar blanket and a familiar monkey.
"What's this?" Meredith giggled as she held up the worn monkey.
"That's Bananas," I smiled, pulling it away from her.
"Bananas?" Meredith raised her eyebrows.
"I was three when I named him, you don't get to make fun," I pouted.
"I can't believe Mom kept him," Kathleen grinned. "Derek carried him around until he was around nine or ten. And then slept with him right after Dad died."
"He was your Sam," Meredith smiled.
"Yeah," I nodded, lightly, tears pricking at my eyes.
"And this was your blanket?" she asked holding up the other item.
"Aww!" Nancy gushed. "It's Banket!"
"I did not got it Blanket," I pointed out, grabbing it from Mer and holding it close. "They called it Blanket."
"So it was yours?" she asked. "Did you carry it around with Bananas?"
"I don't think I want to answer that," I shook my head.
"He did," Kathleen nodded. "Though, I think Dad took it away from him when he was seven or eight. And Mom kept it."
"This is why you like Sam so much," Meredith giggled.
"Is there anything else?" Leah asked.
"There's a letter," I said, pulling it out and handing it to Meredith.
She opened it and scanned it, her eyes feeling with tears. "You read it," she whispered.
I had already read it over her shoulder so I shook my head and whispered in her ear, "I can't. You...you read it."
She nodded and took a deep breath, tears spilling onto my mom's neat handwriting. "Dearest Meredith and Derek, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that in each other, you have found your soulmates. It has never ceased to amaze me how strong you are, Derek, and now, you, Meredith. Strength and love will keep your future marriage strong, and you will raise strong children. Congratulations on finding each other, and I pray I get to see little Megan grow up. Hopefully she will enjoy Bananas and Blanket as much as you did, son. I love you."
I pulled Meredith towards me and blinked back tears, my hands resting on her stomach. "I love you, Mer," I whispered in her ear.
"I love you too," she whispered, her own tears falling freely.
"Mom's going to see Megan grow up. I know it," Leah said, wiping a tear off her cheek.
"Of course she will," Erin nodded. "Mom's a fighter."
Meredith sniffled and wiped away her tears, resting a hand over mine. "Isn't this supposed to be a party? No tears."
I let out a shaky laugh as I rubbed Meredith's belly. "You're right," I nodded. "Sorry, Izz."
"It's okay," Izzie said wiping away a tear. "That was...that was really nice."
Even Cristina looked affected as she coughed a little. "So uh...babies," she said awkwardly.
"Any more cheesy party games, Izz?" I asked.
"Um," she sighed, tears still falling slightly from her eyes. "I honestly can't remember. I had this all planned out. But that was really nice and amazing."
Meredith walked over to her friend and hugged her tightly. "It's okay, Izz."
"I-I'm sorry," Izzie murmured into Mer's shoulder.
"Don't worry about it," Meredith sighed, hugging her tighter.
I looked over at Cristina, a question on my face, but Cristina didn't say a word. She had some tears in her eyes, and I wasn't sure why. "Really," Izzie took a deep breath, "I'm fine. I'm better than fine. So fine right now."
"You're not fine," Meredith said.
"I should be," she nodded. "It's...I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," she sighed, rubbing her back.
"Don't tell Alex," Izzie murmured. "Please don't tell Alex."
"I won't. No one will," Meredith soothed.
Izzie nodded and took a deep breath. "It still hurts," she said. "Everywhere. And I can't...I can't..."
"I know, I know," Meredith whispered. I was completely confused. "Maybe we should all go home, give you some time to breathe."
"I'm sorry, Mer," Izzie smiled sadly. "This is your day."
"I didn't want it to be my day," Meredith sighed. "But I did enjoy it. Thank you."
A part of me wanted to grin stupidly at Mer's admittance but I figured this would be wrong time. "Hey, uh, can I get some help loading this stuff into the car?" I asked, staring at my sisters pointedly.
"Sure," they all kind of murmured moving to pick stuff up.
After we had finished loading the gifts into the car, Meredith and Cristina came walking out of the house, Meredith holding two platters of food, Cristina still looking a little down. "Thanks everyone," Meredith smiled as she hugged my sisters.
'It was nothing," Erin said hugging her. "Your our sister now."
"Still, it was girly but great," Meredith grinned.
"So my brother isn't going to die?" Kathleen asked.
Meredith giggled. "Not this time. Sorry to disappoint."
"We'll figure out another time to kill him off," Nancy laughed.
"We'll see you guys later," Leah said, hugging us. "Maybe we should take dinner to Mom Sunday."
"That would be good," I nodded.
My sisters drove away and Cristina said goodbye to us before heading off to her own car, Meredith getting in our overly stuffed car. "That wasn't bad," she admitted.
"Are you going to admit you were wrong?" I laughed.
"Define wrong," she giggled. "The pink was a bit much. And the cookies shaped like bears."
"But you loved it," I nodded.
"Fine," she nodded. "I loved it." She took my hand and squeezed it. "Thank you."
"Your welcome," I told her.
"And we got great presents," Meredith laughed.
"Just the part I thought you would like," I smiled.
"Our nursery will be much fuller now," she nodded. "But we still need to go shopping. Soon. And come up with a birthing plan. And find a pediatrician."
"We'll get that all done," I told her, squeezing her name.
"Good," she whispered. "Because we're not ready." She went silent, staring out the window.
"Mer, we're going to be okay" I said, resting my hand on her knee.
"I know," she nodded. "I know. We're going to be fine."
"We are. We're together and that's all we need," I told her.
"As long as we're together," she sighed, and I noticed she had tears in her eyes.
"Want to tell me about it," I whispered gently.
"Izzie," she sighed. "It never...sometimes I think she's okay. And I never know what to say to her when it happens."
"When what happens?' I asked.
"What you saw," she said. "When she thinks about him."
"Him?" Meredith was apparently telling me this story backwards.
"Denny," Meredith sighed. "Izzie's fiance."
"I'm assuming before Karev. What happened?" I questioned.
"In college," Meredith nodded. "He died. They were engaged. They were in love. His death...it broke her."
"Oh...wow..." I murmmered. "That...that had to be hard."
"It was," Meredith nodded. "And Izzie loves Alex. And she loves their kids. But, it's, well, it's...she's broken."
"That...how did he die?" I asked.
"There was an accident," Meredith murmured. "The day he had proposed actually. She went to class. He went to work. And then he was gone."
"Oh god," I breathed. "That...that would be...wow."
"And Alex was there for her," Meredith sighed. "He was there. But sometimes I think Izzie married him to get her mind off of Denny."
"I can't imagine how hard that would be," I shook my head.
"We have to always have each other," she stressed, turning to me. "Always."
"Always," I nodded. "If that happened...I couldn't live without you Mer. I just couldn't."
"Me neither," she gripped my hand tightly. "And I'm not that girl, Derek."
"What girl?" I asked.
"That girl who needs a guy," she stated. "I'm not that girl. So what's the matter with me?"
"I'm not just a guy. I'm Derek. You don't need a guy, you need me," I shrugged, smiling.
She laughed. "I guess," she nodded. "But you're still in trouble."
"You can spank me if you want," I winked.
"Dirty, Dr. Shepherd, very dirty," she giggled. "Though, I do believe I'm coming down with something, Dr."
"Oh really?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," she nodded. "It may be serious. I may need a very long and lengthy examination." She was massaging my inner thigh as she spoke.
"I think I can take care of that," I said, sounding a little breathless.
"Soon?" she asked, her voice dropping to a low seductive murmur as she began to unzip my jeans.
"We might want to wait until we get home," I gasped.
"Hmmm, I don't want to wait," she giggled as she took my erection into her hand. A small part of me suddenly wished the pregnancy hormones would be gone, so that Mer would stop jumping me at inpportune moments.
"This isn't safe," I tried to tell her.
"You really should concentrate on the road, Der," she murmured as she began to caress me.
"Trying, Mer, trying," I breathed.
Suddenly, the loud shrill of a cell phone sounded and Mer took her hand away, digging her hand into her purse and pulling out her cell phone. "Hello?" She had a rushed conversation and then turned to me, a frown on her face. "Dillon won't stop crying. Lucas says he's throwing things and just broke a glass."
"Does he want us to go pick him up?" I asked.
"He doesn't know what else to do," Mer sighed, resting her head against the head rest. "Why is he doing this, Der?"
"I don't know, Mer. I don't know," I said, taking her hand again. "We'll talk to him, we'll figure this out."
"And when will we finally be able to get some without having to throw him out?" she rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, that was inappropriate. It's just...we haven't had the house to ourselves in forever."
"I know," I nodded. "Maybe we can go away. Before the baby comes. Take a weekend away."
"Really?" she grinned, her eyes suddenly bright.
"Yeah. My mom's becoming more stable. And you're doing better. We could get away," I smiled.
"It has to be soon," she told me. "Addison was saying something about cutting back on sex my last appointment."
"Cutting back on sex?"
"Yeah," Meredith sighed. "Meaning, no sex."
"Can we do no sex?" I asked.
"I have no idea," she giggled. "Though when...well...when you were, um, when you were busy, we didn't have sex."
"I didn't want it, I was...I was somewhere else. But I'm here now, and I want sex," I pouted.
"Addison says sometimes sex and orgasms can cause labor," Meredith smiled. "And since I've had blood pressure problems in the past, she doesn't want to risk it."
"Addison is an evil woman. I'm betting Mark put her up to this," I complained.
"Derek," she sighed, and I suddenly heard fear in her voice.
"Mer?" I said squeezing her hand.
"I'm...we're not...I," she stammered. "Just...let's listen to Addie."
"Of course, Mer. I'm not putting Megan in any danger," I soothed, running a hand over her belly.
She nodded and captured my hand with her own, pinnin my hand to her stomach. "So we'll go away," she said softly. "Next weekend?"
"Next weekend sounds perfect. Some nice bed and breakfast," I smiled.
We pulled up to Lucas's house and Mer sighed. "You should go get him," she said. "He has a tendency to kick these days."
"Going," I said, getting out of the car and heading towards the door, wondering what had brought on this tantrum. Dillon had been better recently, things have been good. He was happy and wonderful and now this kid. But apparently he was.
"Derek," Kimberly opened the door, a frown on her face. "He's upstairs. He's kicking and screaming and throwing. And we have no idea why."
"Nothing happened to bring it on?" I asked, moving towards the stairs.
"Lucas told him to stop sucking his thumb," Kimberly replied. "And he just started throwing a tantrum."
"He's sucking his thumb again?' I sighed.
"I guess," Kimberly nodded. "I thought Mer said that was all sorted out."
"We thought we had," I shook my head. I coukd hear the yells now coming from what I knew was Dillon's bed room. "Dill? Bud?"
I opened the door and found Dillon standing on his bed, a Lego plane flying out of his hands towards Lucas. "I hate you!" he yelled. "You're the worst daddy ever and I hate you!"
"Dillon Grey! What do you think you're doing?" I demanded to know.
Lucas looked relieved as I came in, but Dillon continued screaming. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
"Dillon! What is your problem?"
"Go away!" he screamed at me now, throwing a stuffed animal at my head.
"Dillon, you're coming home!" I said, crossing my arms and staring him down.
"No I'm not!" he crossed his own arms. "I'm running away forever!"
"Oh really?" I asked.
"Yeah!" he nodded. "I'm running away and you won't find me!"
"And why are you running?" I wondered.
"Because no one loves me!"
"Dill, we all love you. Why don't you think we love you?" I crouched down to his level.
"Because you buy the baby lots of presents," he frowned. "And all you talk about is the baby. And my birthday is soon and no one asked me what I wanted."
"Oh bud, no one was going to forget about your birthday," I told him.
"Yeah you were!" he shouted. "So I'm running away!"
"Bud, no one was forgetting about your birthday. We love you and we know you have a birthday coming up," I explained. "Your mom and I were just talking today about whether or not you wanted a party."
He stopped for a second but then frowned again. "And the baby gets lots of presents and I don't get anything.'
"The baby doesn't have anything, so she needs a lot of presents," I tired to tell him. "You'll get stuff on your birthday and when we make you that play room."
"It's not fair," he said. "And my daddy is mean. He's the worst Daddy ever."
"Why is he the worst daddy ever?" I asked, looking up Lucas.
"Because I have to go to work," Lucas sighed. "Dillon, I'm a doctor. I help people. That's what I have to do."
"Your daddy would stay with you if he could," I said.
"He likes other people more than me," Dillon frowned. "Stupid doctor!"
Lucas crouched down beside me. "Dillon, there's no one I like more than you. Being a doctor is my job, I have to do it. You're my son. I love you."
"Daddy Derek's a doctor and he's home," Dillon pointed out.
"Bud I'm taking off some time for Grandma and Megan. After Megan's born I'll be back to working," I told him.
"And then you won't be home either!" he screamed. "I want my mom!"
"She's in the car, bud," I told him.
"I want my mom," he repeated, grabbing his backpack and Sam before starting to head downstairs.
"I'm sorry, Lucas," I sighed.
"It's fine," Lucas shook his head. "I'm sorry I called. I know Meredith probably wants some quiet time."
"She'll be fine. Actually, we were just talking. Next weekend Mer and I were thinking of heading away for a weekend. Do you mind?" I asked.
"Not at all," he shook his head. "As long as this doesn't happen again. I can't calm him down."
"We'll talk to him this week. Figure something out," I smiled sadly.
"Great," he nodded. "I have to run."
"Okay, thanks for giving us a call," I said, heading back downstairs.
I went out to the car and found Dillon in the back seat, crying. Meredith was turned around in her seat, rubbing his back. "It's okay, Dill," she whispers. "Tell me what's wrong."
"He's upset Lucas had to to go work," I explained.
"Oh, Dill," she sighed. "Daddy has to go to work so he can save lifes."
"But I don't want him to save lives!' Dillon cried.
Meredith sighed and nodded. "I know, Dill. Mommy knows."
"Dill, your daddy loves you," I reminded him.
"I want to go home," he mumbled. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw that he was starting to drift off.
"Okay, bud. We'll go home," I sighed.
Meredith turned back and took my hand. "So much for a good relaxing day."
"We'll be fine," I assured her.
"Yeah," she nodded, squeezing my hand, rubbing her stomach with the other. "We'll be fine."
As one we are everything, we are everything we need.