I'm sorry this is so short, but it is a filler of sorts. Thanks to all those who are reading and keep up the commenting, it makes meh happeh. :)

Four days passed; I was content with my situation with Jay. He was loving and sweet, called when he said he would, and showed up when he said he would. Punctuality was never his strongpoint, but he seemed to be making an effort. It was a side of him I enjoyed. I tried not to let myself get carried away with enjoying it, though, in case it didn't stick around long. I was very cautious.

I hadn't told anyone about us, yet, because I felt unsure of how to. Of course, these things have a way of uncovering themselves. Secrets are simply not meant to be kept. I was naive and chose to believe that we'd become an official item when I said the word. Good laugh, that.

Everyone was up at the shop, practicing. It was one of the days that I'd gone to watch the guys skate and mess around for a while, for a lack of anything better to do. Everyone was taking a break and, in a very irresponsible and almost quite obvious manner, Jay and I had snuck off into the shop and flipped the sign to 'closed' so we could have a little alone time. Now, that sounds like instant make out session, but I assure you there was talking to be done, too. My mother would be in for the next day, having already been home for three, and we didn't see much of each other while she was home that trip since she was going to be gone so much. She insisted upon spending time with me while she could, which I appreciated.

Either way, we wanted to steal a little alone time with one another and used the shop to do so. While there was initially some talking, it morphed into kissing. Not heavy, lusty making out, but the variety that still cancels out all your other senses and dulls your peripheral vision. This, likely, is why we didn't notice the door open on the other side of the shop.

"Skip? Are you in--" a voice suddenly broke Jay and I apart. Like deer in the headlights of a car, we stopped and stared at the person who was speaking. Cliché of all clichés, it was Stacy. Jay looked at the ground with a sideways grin and chuckled a bit nervously. I couldn't move or speak, only stare at Stacy's gaping mouth. He shook his head and bolted out the door.

It took me a second to realize what was happening, for the color to settle back into the world, but when it did, I followed him quickly. Jay grabbed my hand before I got far; "Let him go."

"No," I said, vehemently, "I can't."

I pulled away from Jay and caught up with Stacy, who was headed away from the group of people skating. I got close enough to grab his arm, but he shook my hand away.

"Go away, Lily," he said, coldly. Okay, so I probably deserved that based on what he'd just seen, but I could explain. Wait, I could explain, right?

"Stacy," I said, begging him to listen with just one word. He didn't look like he was in the mood to hear me out, but I persisted. "Please…"

I chased him a bit, him walking fast enough to have me jogging to keep up. I finally positioned myself in front of him, leaving him little choice but to listen to me.

"What?!" He yelled, scaring me a bit. He almost never raised his voice, but I do believe I'd pissed him off to a very high extent.

"Listen to me, please," I pleaded, hoping to appeal to his logical side. He took a deep breath and momentarily stood still.

"Listen to you what? Lie about you and Jay? You should've just told me the truth, Lily," he said, much more calm.

"I never lied, Stacy. We've only been dating a few days," I said, catching my breath. Part of me wanted to rush him with information, just to get it all out in the open at once. I didn't want to risk only getting out half the story before he walked away.

"Oh, great," he said, sarcastically, "that makes me feel a lot better. I thought you… I don't know, liked me."

My stomach hurt; this was precisely what I did not want to happen. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because of what I did. If I had my way, I could have both. I'd take from each cookie jar equally and no one would feel used or misled. But, unfortunately, I was still living in reality and people still enjoyed this thing called 'monogamy'.

"I did," I blurted out. I instantly wanted to punch my own face and, judging by the look on his face, I was not the only one. "I mean, I don't know. Jay… I… I couldn't say no. You just don't understand."

He laughed bitterly and gave me a serious look. "I don't understand what it's like not to be able to say no to him, but I see girls who do understand from personal experience all the time. You think you're different to him, but you won't always be." There was a darkness in his demeanor that I didn't like the look of.

"I'm just seeing if things can work between Jay and I… that doesn't mean there can never be an us," I told him, delicately. He scoffed.

"Jay'll hurt you and you'll wish you had me," he said, very surely, "but I'm not going to sit around and be an option for you, Lily."

His last remark stung, appropriately. How could I expect him to do that when he had no idea how long he'd be waiting, or if that day would ever come? Still, I halfheartedly wished that he would stick around as an option for me. Sure, that was selfish and unrealistic, but I wanted Stacy to like me enough to pull a whole dramatic, 'I would wait forever for your love!' type of things. He was more down to earth than that, though, apparently.

"Stacy," I said, moving closer to him, "I can't leave and hurt Jay." I was trying to clue him in to the fact that part of me liked him but couldn't be with him, but he was having none of it.

"You know, the whole world doesn't revolve around you. People survive without you, every day. Me? I'm going to be fine. Without you, don't you think Jay'd find someone else, too?" He was aiming to hurt me, now, and succeeding. I wanted him to need me, damn it. That had been what I wanted all along.

"I'm going to go. Good luck with whatever you plan to do," he said, walking away from me.

I had just been royally put in my place by Stacy Peralta. In my heart of hearts, I knew that I deserved everything he said for the fact that I was secretly expecting to have two beautiful boys fall in love with me and withstand whatever I threw at them. That did not happen as I supposed it might, but left me feeling guilty for ever treating it like a possibility in the first place.

This was going to be a long road to haul.