I saw where the chapters weren't, nor were the reviews for a while. It was very sad! haha. So, okay, guys, I debated with myself about even updating… it's been a sucky day and I'm sick, so it was a bit, shall we say, painful to power through ;) At any rate, it's here, and your comments will be doubly appreciated today. I am glad everyone is enjoying the story and that you all continue to leave pretty reviews that make me happy. So thank you all again. Xo!

I couldn't stop thinking about what Jay had said; It plagued me because it had been so deliberately hurtful. Of course, what I'd said had been, too, but that was beside the point. Or was it?

I was slowly realizing that I was in the midst of a horrible misconception that people's feelings should always mesh well with mine. Things were not going my way and I felt like a five year old who'd gotten her candy taken away, except for my candy wasn't gone, it just didn't taste as good as I thought it would. I was being a tough disciplinarian, though, and telling myself to just deal.

I figured Jay could only stay mad so long, so I headed to he shop where I assumed he was. I felt bad about what I'd said and what a high maintenance bitch I was watching myself turn into. I used to be able to hang with he guys because I wasn't a crazy, typical girl. I was watching myself change.

"Hey," I waved a lightly to Sid, who stood behind the counter with a broom in hand. "You seen Jay?"

"Mmm, yeah, think so…" he pondered for a moment. "He's with the guys. They're going to tag some stuff down at the pier, I think."

"Are you going with them?" I asked, with a grin. Sid was a touch clumsy, but he always participated in the boys' adventures. Jay pretty much kept him under his wing. He nodded and laughed a little.

"You know it," he grinned, beginning to sweep the shop, though not really paying attention to his work. "As soon as I finish this crap, anyways."

I made my way to the back of the shop where I assumed the guys were hanging out. I was right, partially. Tony and some of the guys I was less familiar with were skating around, but I didn't see Jay. Timidly enough, I asked Tony where he was. He merely rolled his eyes and ignored me.

"Damn it, Tony, don't be a dick," I said, a bit more desperately than I intended. I was just anxious to find Jay and to apologize. Or rather, exchange apologies, as I wanted one, too.

"Oh, wah-wah," he mimicked crying, "Can't be away from Jayboy for like, two seconds?"

"It's important," I told him, trying to stress the seriousness of him telling me where Jay was.

"I don't care, it's not like he wants you going with us tonight, anyways," he said, rudely. I really wanted to choke him; strangle him with his own mop of curly hair.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, defensively.

"You can't tag for shit, and he was kinda pissed after whatever happened at the diner, earlier," he said, pretending to be very interested in his skateboard.

"I can so tag," I said, without realizing I'd probably went after the wrong thing first. He raised an eyebrow briefly before giving me a dismissive headshake.

"Prove it then, hot shit," he said, tossing me a can of red spray paint from the ground behind him. I didn't have expert graffiti skills, I was no artist. I was mediocre, but I could still tag fairly well. I shook the can vigorously as per the instructions and removed the lid. The ramp behind me was already mucky with tags and designs, one more wouldn't hurt it.

I wrote my name in plain, upright print and stepped back from it, expecting a nod of approval.

"You call this a tag? It's your name. It's nothing," he said, almost angrily, as though he'd expected so much more from me, of all people.

"You're holding the can wrong," he said, taking it from me and showing me how to properly aim it. "You're messing it all up with that one little thing."

"Why have you always been such a jerk, Tony?" I asked, not amused with the wise one's teaching. I didn't like the way he acted towards me, then had random breaks of friendliness. It was confusing.

"You're so fuckin' stupid," he said, throwing the can down. He was so much like Jay in that way; they could be as peaceful as a bird one second, then ready to burn you alive with one look the very next.

"What did I ever do to you or your bitchy little sister?" I yelled at him, feeling my own anger rise. It was a shame we'd spent a while attempting to be civil when it was all going to eclipse into another big fight.

"You just…" he ended the sentence with a noise of frustration. I'd likely never get an answer to that question.

"You're an idiot," I told him, after waiting for a better answer than a Neanderthal grunt.

"You're a stuck up bitch," he fired back. I couldn't help laughing in disbelief.

"I'm stuck up. I'm stuck up? And you're what, Mr. All Inclusive Friendly Man?" I'd adopted my mother's habit of calling people a sarcastic, spiteful nickname when upset. It was rather embarrassing. He only laughed.

"That comeback was just amazing," he said, folding his arms. Apparently, it had calmed his fury a bit, though it was meant to incite it.

"Why do you hate me, though?" I asked him, almost in tune with Sid as he yelled, "T.A…"

As I suspected all along, it was a conspiracy of the Gods to keep me from knowing what grave wrong doing was still being held against me by Tony Alva and his entire bloodline. Well, the two that I knew.

Jay stood there, though, alongside Sid, without the trademark smirk I'd grown accustomed to. Was he still going to be mad at me, too?

I waited for him to come outside, wanting to give him his space. When he did, I made an uncharacteristic first move and hugged him around the neck.

"Hey, you," I said, gingerly. I knew I was treading on thin ice.

"Hey," he said, pretending like nothing was wrong. I growled in frustration.

"Jay…" I whined, trying to get him to look me in the eyes and know I was sorry for what I said, but that he should be, too.

"What?" He snapped, then more calmly, "What?"

"I'm sorry, Jayboy," I said, giving him another squeeze. He returned the affection, though not warmly. "I know I shouldn't have said it."

"It's not that simple," he said pushing me away. "It was a really awful thing to say."

"I know that, but what you said was mean, too," I said, trying to sound sweet and light about it.

"No, it wasn't! It was the truth," he said, shouting protectively. "You aren't Mary, you're never going to be Mary. I'm not with Mary! I'm with you because I want you to be who you are and I want to be who I am."

I felt small with the way he explained things. It hurt in a way, but I knew what he was saying was the only logical thing to say.

"I said I hadn't felt like this since Mary. I didn't say I felt exactly the same," he said, standing his ground. I knew I had lost, but I wasn't ready to give up so easily. I wanted to ask, sadly enough, 'why not?'.

"Your world revolved around Mary," I spat, consciously aware of how stupid I sounded. I was lucky that the other guys were migrating off in their various directions,

"She was my first real thing. It's not always gonna be like that, Lily!" He was raising his voice, but there was no anger on his face. "You won't always be the center of my universe. I grew up a lot since her, you know?"

That was one thing that was scary to me. My Jayboy had definitely grown up more than I was aware of.