This chapter does a wee little time skip. It's not that hard to follow, I hope, and necessary. Hopefully I wasn't too confusing! 3

I stood there, not knowing of any words that would even begin to heal the situation before me. Stacy stood, pale and shaking a bit, in the whitewashed hospital room. I wrapped my arms around him, and it felt like second nature to do so. He hugged back weakly, but it seemed to be to the best of his strength.

Stacy's mother had actually been the one to call me, asking me to please go by and check on her son, that he might really need someone right now. She was dead on with that thought. His father had been in a car accident and was not in good condition. Stacy had been alone all morning as his mother had to retrieve some papers for his father's treatment that were only available from downtown.

Thank God I'd gone home rather than tagging; Jay and I agreed to talk when we both go home to his house tonight. It was one of only two nights I'd agreed to stay since we began dating.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked, stupidly.

"They… don't know yet. His condition is still critical," he said, trying not to meet my eyes. His were red and were a dead giveaway that he'd been doing a lot of crying.

"Stacy," I said, unsure of what else I could do besides literally offer him a shoulder to rest his head on as I ran my hands through his hair. My poor Stacy. This was his father we were watching lie, unconscious, hooked up to machines. This was his dad. However negligent all of our parents may have been, we all loved them. The thought of someone losing one of their parents was heartbreaking.

I felt small, wet spots form on my shirt. I pretended not to notice that he was crying, preserving his dignity in some way. I'd seen Jay cry, I'd even seen Tony cry, but I'd never seen Stacy cry. We simply sat there, curled up in the recliner that sat in his father's hospital room, him trying not to cry and me feigning my obliviousness while affectionately stroking his hair, for a good long time.

"I'm sorry, She shouldn't have called," he just trailed off. There was little point in what he was saying, anyways. There was nothing he needed to apologize for.

"Shhh," I replied to his attempted explanation. "You needed me here, I'm here."

It took another half hour of the sitting routine for me to realize that, if anyone were to walk in at that moment, it would look very strange. I shifted slight and he took the hint.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do," he said, seemingly adamant that he wasn't going to cry in front of me.

My heart was just broken for him; things between Stacy and his father were strained and seemed to be growing more so all the time, but he still loved his dad very much. It was unquestionable how much pain he had to have been in, looking at his father cut and bruised, hooked up to various machines that allowed him to keep breathing and living. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, imagining what I'd feel if I were in that same situation, watching my mother in that bed.

I couldn't stand the thought of it.

"He wasn't wearing his seatbelt," Stacy remarked, bitterly. I didn't know what I could possibly tell him that would comfort him whatsoever. There were just… no words. We spoke mainly in silence that held a lot of prayers. He didn't seem to be on the same planet I was on, looking around with this thousand yard stare.

After a while, he seemed to snap back into reality and he wiped his face, turning to look at me. "I just… can't lose him. I don't really fucking get the whole situation, you know," it was a little shocking to hear him use the word 'fucking', "I mean, I've done good, Lily. My mom… she works really hard to put us where we are. I'm a pretty good person and then this…"

It was a moment that I was more than willing to grant a person throwing their own pity party. At that moment, I just tightened my grip on him and nodded, knowing that he was right. He didn't deserve this at all, and neither did his Mom. No one deserved that kind of heartbreak.

"I know, I know," I told him, trying to keep tears out of my own voice. "You're a wonderful person, Stace." It was hard for me to imagine why people who deserved good things got handed so much bad. Stacy… he tried so hard. He deserved nothing but good things. But there we were.

"I don't want to stay here all night," he told me, looking at me very seriously. "If I do, I won't sleep at all."

He was probably right, but I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do. His mother was going to be staying over night, she'd already made sure to tell Stacy that much.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, unsure of how I could help him. I couldn't stay there with him, obviously.

"Can you just take me home, to my house?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. It was growing dark outside already and I didn't have my license, which he knew, so I supposed he meant look after him on the way home and until he got there.

"Yeah, just leave a message for your mom," I said, patting his back reassuringly. I was trying as hard as humanly possible to be supportive, to let go of any awkwardness between us because, well, fuck romantic relationships, Stacy and I loved each other first and foremost as siblings, and the situation called for maturity about the whole ordeal. Our troubles were insignificant at the moment.

Soon enough, we were on our way home. He drove quietly and without any music, which only deepened my heart break and concern. Something so small, so insignificant, I wondered how it could make me feel worse for him.

"We're here," he announced weakly. For once, he didn't open my door, merely going up to the house. I followed him inside and waited in the living room for some indication that I was welcome elsewhere. None came in fifteen minutes, so I went to look for him. He was in his parent's room, sitting on the bed.

"You scared me," he said, turning around with a small jump when he noticed me. "I thought you'd left."

"I just wanted to be sure you were alright," I told him, sitting down next to him. He shrugged.

"You can go whenever you want. I mean, you didn't have to come at all, so thank you." I felt slightly guilty that he was thanking me for something I felt like I completely owed him. He was my friend and a very patient, important one at that.

"I'll stay as long as you'd like," I told him. We both laid back on the bed, legs dangling off the end. We talked for an hour and a half and I did my best to calm his fears about his father. If there was any justice in the world, he would come out of this alive and well. I promised Stacy countless times that things would be fine and that whatever happened, I'd help him. He seemed slightly comforted and soon, his fears were for the most part quieted. By then, we'd ended up in the bed, side by side.

"It's almost midnight, Jay's going to wonder where you are," he said, looking at me for the first time in a while. He'd maintained good eye contact with the ceiling.

Damn it, I thought. He was right.

"He'll be fine," I said, unthinkingly. Jay would understand when I got the chance to explain. He loved Stacy, too, and he'd understand why I was out so late. Actually, I wasn't sure Jay would care. After the fight we'd had and the bitch Jay was being about it, I wasn't sure he'd even have remembered that I was supposed to stay with him that night. I didn't mention that to Stacy, though. It didn't matter right then.

Stacy looked at me nervously and sighed; "Lily, this isn't how I pictured us talking again," he said, brushing a strand of my hair out my face. "And I don't want you to think I'm coming onto you, but I really don't want to be alone."

I knew then what he was asking me to do. I had mixed feelings about it. He was asking me to stay with him through the night, in the least offensive way possible. It wasn't a sexy, sultry request, it was a humble and broken one. I looked at him and, in the same way I was unable to refuse Jay when he gave me that look, I wasn't capable of telling Stacy to get over it.

"Do you want me to stay?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Could you? I mean, I know we haven't been on the best terms, but… yeah," he said, looking away from me. There something in his voice that I couldn't possibly ignore. I couldn't tell him no in the state he was in, with what must've been going through his mind.

"I will," I said, feeling like that was all that really needed to be said about it. There wasn't anything to reply to that with.

"Thank you," he almost whispered.

We continued to talk until late into the night. It was three when he finally said he felt like he could sleep. I took this as my cue and stood up, off the bed. He grabbed my hand and gave me a puzzled look.

"Where're you going?"

I sat back down. "Do you want me to stay?"

"I think I'd like that," he said. I laid back down. I wasn't sure how Jay would take me staying the night, sleeping next to Stacy for the first time in all of our friendship, but he would have to take his own reaction to the situation upon himself.

"Goodnight, Stacy. Things will be better in the morning," I promised, giving him a weird, laying down hug. I let my arm linger there a bit too long, but neither of us seemed to mind.

"Night, Lily. Thank you," he whispered, squeezing my arm.

We slept back to back, though I could tell he didn't sleep very well. He tossed and turned, though he did it in his own sleeping area. There was something very naturally careful about Stacy, even in his sleep.

He was having some sort of nightmare, something so terrifying he was actually squirming and sweating. I got worried and turned on the light; his expression was pained and he'd balled the sheets in his fists.

"Stacy…" I said, shaking him. I repeated his name three or four times to no avail before shaking him a slight bit violently.

He woke up with a gasp, eyes wide and nervous. I pulled him into my arms, tightly. "You're okay, I've got you, you're okay," I whispered, hushing him.

He nuzzled sleepily into my neck and held onto me like a small child. I sighed and just looked at him, for a moment. Stacy Peralta was normally beautiful, but now he just looked pitiful. He was still a sight to behold, but he looked so small.

We both fell asleep like that, however strange it was for me to be holding him that way. It felt natural, but at the same time, I was used to holding Jay. My arms had a Jay shaped void in them which was currently filled by Stacy, someone I knew I had feelings for. Like I said, though, romantic interests had to be put aside for the sake of the situation.

Wouldn't it be the perfect, cliché thing if we woke up, still clinging to one another, then professed our forbidden feelings for one another over coffee just before going to pick up his father from the hospital, fine and dandy? Yes, well, as I am so often reminded, I live on Earth. I woke up alone, the sheet fitted around me like a cocoon.

"Stacy?" I called, peering around the somewhat familiar corners of his house. He didn't seem to be there at all. I looked around the kitchen and found a note, as I'd suspected I would.

Lily -

Mom called, I had to get to the hospital.

Thank you for everything. I'll call you later.

- Stacy

I concluded that if something had been emergently wrong, he wouldn't have left a note at all. I prayed for a moment, wishing as hard as I could that his father would be alright, that he'd wake up and be on the road to a speedy recovery. To be honest, I didn't pray much. Religion had often eluded me aside from in times of need. Whether that was right or wrong was not up for debate. I only prayed when something was direly important.

I sat in his living room for a while, thinking. It felt strange to be there, alone, but I stayed anyway. The Stacy I'd seen, I'd cared so much for him. I couldn't differ between whether I cared for his situation or for him as a person, but I'd felt so much for him the night before, so much that led to a guilty feeling regarding Jay.

Jay and I had our issues, but he loved me as best as he could understand the word. I doubted my ability to love him back, but I was trying. I knew that I'd made my bed. I suppose that was a stupid way to view something that could be called off easily, but I felt an obligation to stick through whatever happened. At any rate, Stacy wouldn't have the same feelings for me after I had been with Jay, albeit it only two weeks. Like he told me, he wasn't going to wait around forever, and he'd already seemed to have gotten past his little crush on me, having had a date or two.

Plus, I wasn't supposed to care, anymore, right? I'd settled on Jay. I think that was my biggest fear -- that I'd settled on Jay.